attraction

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  • cekeys
    cekeys Posts: 397 Member
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    the age old good vs evil....bad boy vs nice guy...do nice guys (or girls) really finish last?

    I will admit I fall for the bad boy everytime...I need the fight and opposition. why is that??
    Not to go all Freudian on you, but how's your relationship with your father?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    This is an excerpt from the article linked above that I think explains the "women love bad boys" phenomenon, too:
    Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

    This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

    Women who go after bad boys are trying to be the romantic heroine who saves a bad boy from self-destruction. They seek the thrill of being the one woman who gets a bad boy to settle down and that he will feel forever indebted to her for it. And I believe it's because she doesn't think she's good enough as she is. So she overcompensates and puts up with being treated like garbage.

    So basically, on both sides of the equation, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Had this discussion with my husband, he said that he use to be a very nice guy, (he is now to me haha) but a girl he tried to go out with wouldn't give him the time of day, and he asked her why, and she told him "You are to nice." from then he started to be a jerk. I was attracted to his jerkyness lol. (is that a word?) Well we got married, and I got older, and told him that I'm no longer that girl he dated, and we were married and he had me so he could lose the bad boy attitude. Now he is a a nice guy, and I am more attracted to that now. He spoils me and wears me on his arm like the purest of gold.

    From my own experience this is relatively true. The more of an *kitten* that I am, the more female attention that I get. The nicer I am, the less attention I get. I have been yelled at for opening a door for someone ("I can do that myself") and told that chivalry is an outdated and lame concept by someone else.

    It's more of a game of social chutes and ladders now.

    I would NEVER complain about a man with chivalry...ugh women are such b!tches
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
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    How about a nice guy with a bad boy streak? I open doors, bring random flowers, cook, clean etc. However, there's a hard-driving (280Z) & riding (Monster 750) with a bit of a partying streak (after all the driving & riding of course).

    JM
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 897 Member
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    I wouldn't say nice girls or guys FINISH last. I would say we start out that way, but with time and maturity, most of us finally come to realize that the commitment phobes and emotional trainwrecks are no good for us.

    this.

    also.. sometimes people are replacing shy with nice. if you would just try and speak up you might actually get somewhere.

    Every time I hear "I'm too nice, noone will fall for me" I feel like one of the guys in that crowd:

    2011-11-18-GWS1280.jpg
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    I love nice guys much more then bad boys. Always have. Bad boys burn me or don't act in a way I could function with.

    Just whatever suits you better. i love my hubby. Nicest man on the planet. :happy:
  • RH_Brazell
    RH_Brazell Posts: 339
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    I am guilty of being attracted to the bad boy type......:devil:

    just don't care for their ways...wish i were more attracted to the nice guys!!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    There's good news for some of you ladies. As bad boys age, they mature, have kids, and kind of stay bad, but also become responsible and learn that being a bad boy all the time has consequences. So, they change a little. We are nice and respectful to our women, but have an edge, when it comes to other stuff.

    So, there is some hope for you down the line.
  • StephTheBookworm
    StephTheBookworm Posts: 177 Member
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    I like nerds. And funny guys. And animal lovers. Any combination of those would be swell. :) Not into the bad boy thing.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Nice guys don't win. For me, it's all about winning. 'Nuff said!

    I like a sweet, dependable woman who knows how to turn it on physically.
  • transfixedtoast
    transfixedtoast Posts: 89 Member
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    The bad boys and girls are the ones who lie, they're the ones who tell people exactly what they want to hear instead of the truth, that's how they get ahead but creating a web of lies is only a temporary fix.
    They seem good, possibly better than the good guys, but they don't stay that way for long.
  • MîîśÊmÿłõü
    MîîśÊmÿłõü Posts: 285 Member
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    have always fallen for the bad boys! some have been worse than others, but ive always thought i could "fix"them
    not sure why lol, as if they would change their ways
    but have settled down with a "nice guy'" lol been together almost 5 years, Married for 3, and two children :)
  • jaymek92
    jaymek92 Posts: 309 Member
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    my significant otter is, 95% of the time, the biggest sweetheart ever. the rest of the time, i'm just angry at him for something that probably wasn't his fault or he's just annoying me for one reason or another.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    For the record, my definition of a "nice guy" isn't one who is meek and timid and boring and lets women get away with treating him like garbage. To me, a "nice guy" (I actually prefer the term "good man") is one who is honest, has a solid work ethic, respects himself, and treats others the way he expects to be treated.

    THIS!!!!! x infinity. Well said.

    Yes.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 814 Member
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    My boyfriend is what you would consider a "nice guy". I love him to death! He may be quiet at first to strangers, but he's a good guy with a lot of friends, he's not a complete pushover, and above all, he is honest and genuine. He can also belt out push ups like nobodies business, which is hot. Nice guys do not always finish last.
  • Ripken818836701
    Ripken818836701 Posts: 607 Member
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    My mom taught me to treat every girl like a princess, (and I did/have atleast at first) my dad taught me how to recognize when a girl couldnt handle being treated like a princess and how to tell when they were losing interest because there wasnt any challenge for them when they were being treated like a princess. Then how and when to start treating them like crap. Its amazing how many girls/women I dated over the years that preferred to be treated like crap. Thanks Dad!!:drinker:
  • baycat107
    baycat107 Posts: 165 Member
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    I married my nice guy 34 year ago...when he got out of the car in the pouring rain, and helped a stranger push his stalled car into a parking lot...I knew he was for me. I'm the edgier one. But, I have to work with a self proclaimed bad boy, and he drives me nuts. He lies, he's hot & cold, he's yes and then no, and so cocky at times. I can't stand the way he treats the women in his life...his 3 wives....But I have seen a softer side....he cares.
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    I'm a nice guy, apparently. I met someone on the weekend, lovely lady originally from Boston, now lives is Chicago (I'm Australian) who told me she thinks I'm amazing and a nice guy and how she's been looking for one.... Too bad she leaves the country in 3 days. Waaaah lol
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    Ps. American girls is where it's at ;)
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 236 Member
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    Nice guys finish last because they wait for their woman to come! =P

    Now this is a GREAT guy! :heart:

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