Kissing issue

ReverendJim

My spouse is not a kisser. At least, not to my face.

Diary_Queen

I'm a person that loves to kiss as many other posters here are.... I don't know if I could deal with a non-kisser. I've had some guys in the very distant past that were BAD kissers... but at least they tried and we had open discussions about kissing preferences (how, when, where, etc). I always told them that if things are hoppin upstairs (mentally and physically) then they will be hoppin downstairs as well. I don't think I could get properly excited without some kissing.

Chari_Jan

In my case, the low frequency of kissing was merely a symptom of the major problems our relationship had. We split up.

i am afraid this is and will be me.............he used to kiss me a lot.

This isn't a new thing for us. It's been that way from the very beginning. I just thought he was shy or we were just trying to adjust to each other's kissing styles.

Chari_Jan

My spouse is not a kisser. At least, not to my face.

Nice!!! :happy:

SinIsIn

I have no advice...I'm a kissing *kitten*. I LOVE to kiss. Thankfully, I've never been with a guy who feels the opposite.

*puckers up*

jfinnivan

Not a classy response, but ask a friend if you have bad breath. If you do, your SO might not want to say anything.

Bikini27

My ex had this issue.

Ex being the important part of that sentence.

But seriously, it's a deal breaker for me if a guy hates to kiss/is a horrible kisser. It's the first step to the rest of the physical intimacy for me and I feel it is often overlooked or rushed over for the more fun activities.

Women are aroused by the hormones in a partner's saliva and it acts like a drug to get everything else going. Seems to be an important step if you ask me

snlperdue93

I am kind of like that but for a specific reason, so unless we are heading to bed we stick with pec's on the lips. I have the small problem (or great asset depending on how you look at it) of when my husband and I do more then a pec on the lips I get all turned on. With 4 kids in the house, Mommy can't be turned on all the time, so we really only kiss when.....well, you get the idea.

_snw_

um. i'd have to break up with him.

kissing is awesome. well, not tongue jammed down my throat kissing (some boys are just so damned eager) but slightly open mouthed kissing, biting, exploring.

um, what was i doing?

SandyChampWins

my husband isn't really an affectionate person AT ALL ... so hugs, kisses ... don't get much of them! when I complain about it he's like "you know I'm not an affectionate person!" ... drives me up a wall. I don't really know how I deal. I don't think I do! Haha I complain about it a lot. I guess its good there's other qualities about him that are awesome, so it's obviously not a deal breaker for me, just a bummer ... I wish I knew what to tell ya! Just know that you're def not alone on this one. some dudes just aren't into it, I guess.

Chrissy, I think we are married to the same guy!:drinker:

Chari_Jan

Not a classy response, but ask a friend if you have bad breath. If you do, your SO might not want to say anything.

I've thought of this too. Haha. I chew gum (mint gum) a lot being an ex-smoker and having a huge sweet tooth so I don't think my breath is an issue.

Thank you though.

polarsjewel

I have no advice...I'm a kissing *kitten*. I LOVE to kiss. Thankfully, I've never been with a guy who feels the opposite.

This....exactly

acrego

I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

"Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

Cheers.
-wtk

LMAO!!!!

neverstray

This was a major issue in my divorce. I was Ike, "I'm just walking from the kitchen to the living room, why do I need to kiss in between?" it's stupid to me. I'm not in the mood at that point. Kissing is slow and meaningful, to me. Not just every time you pass in the hallway. It gets really annoying after a while. Also, holding hands constantly is really a sign of insecurity. I don't think it's romantic at all if it's constant.

I don't like it. I think there are times where PDAs are fine. There are little romantic moments sometimes where you stop and kiss or soemthing. That's fine. I'm not against kissing or holding hands but the constant incessant need for it is mind blowing for most men. At least, for this one.

I don't mean to sound mean, I like cuddling, hugging, kissing, and being romantic, like while watching a movie together at home, or whatever. I'm a softie. But, as I said, it can be a bit obsessive with some women and it's a bit annoying when it's non-stop. For those of you that love it and it's just your way of showing you care, that's great, but just realize your man might be thinking, WTF! We, as a group, don't care for it constantly.

Bikini27

Please don't take this the wrong way. . but maybe the kiss just isn't very good?. . .I dated a REALLY nice girl, and I love kissing. . but she was a terrible kisser! It was like kissing a dental patient who's saying 'ahh'. . and dry too. .

. . .and here's where I failed. . b/c I never told her. . how do you tell someone that!? Is it something you can learn, or are you just good at it or not. . ? Like singing. .

Yep, a bad kisser is just not a turn on. Paying attention to your partner's reaction to your kissing is a good way to find out if you're doing it wrong. When someone is constantly thrusting their tongue down my throat or biting the hell out of my lips or sucking like a damn Hoover.....I usually pull back and try to lead them to a more...inviting way to kiss. If they don't follow the lead and even after I mention something like "Dude, the lips are attached"...then there really is no reason to kiss them again. Ever.

coe28

It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with this guy other than your kissing issue. So you have to ask yourself, is this something you want to lose the relationship over? Almost every relationship is going to have issues that one person doesn't like about the other. If you want the entire package and won't settle for a few issues that aren't 100% the way you'd prefer them, you're never going to be happy.

ELee0517

I'm not a big fan of kissing or PDA. I think everyone is different, I don't necessarily think it has to personally do with you, although I could see how it couldbe taken personally.

412HeavyLifter

I have no idea how to kiss lol

skinnyack

Some people are just that way. You just have to wait and kiss them when they are willing--- long and slow make it last because you never know when you get the next one.

^^^^ this. I'm the anti-kisser. Not that I won't do it- it's just not my preference. I've very clearly told my fiance why so he knows it's not that I don't love him, etc. I have multiple weird finnicky reasons including: I have a collapsed muscle in my left nostril so I can't breathe when we make out- it freaks me out; his face is prickly sometimes and it's uncomfortable; sometimes his breath smells and I have an insanely sensitive sense of smell *(even with a collapsed muscle nostril); he's always so eager to kiss I never get to initiate it- I'd love to initiate it when I really was in the mood. The feeling kind of gets ruined in that I never get a chance to do that.
Given that- I hope I don't make him feel like it's a chore. There are other affectionate things (holding hands, sitting close to eachother, etc) that I hope I do to make up for it. I know I am the one that is weird- I have issues with physical touching in general (like I don't kiss family members at all and I feel weird hugging them-trying to get better) so I hope by comparison my fiance knows through the physical stuff I can show him that he's the best. Maybe that gives you a little insight? Good luck!

Chari_Jan

It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with this guy other than your kissing issue. So you have to ask yourself, is this something you want to lose the relationship over? Almost every relationship is going to have issues that one person doesn't like about the other. If you want the entire package and won't settle for a few issues that aren't 100% the way you'd prefer them, you're never going to be happy.

You're absolutely right. Thank you for pointing that out. :flowerforyou:

He is pretty amazing! :blushing:

acrego

For me, I think kissing is extremely important, and GUYS, come on!!!! Seriously! You LOVED kissing when it was our 3rd date and you thought you might be getting to score! Kisses were on fire! What happened, now that "scoring" is no longer a challenge, you just wanna skip to the good part? That's not cool. My question to the guys is, if you don't like it in the context of a relationship, did you not like it on that 2nd or 3rd date? Was it seen as just a requirement to get past so you can get to the good stuff?
I'm discovering that my boyfriend is not real affectionate either. Sometimes I sneak up behind him & squeeze him & kiss him on the neck, and he seems OK with that, (I asked and he said yeah) but he rarely initiates hugging & holding if it's non-sexual. But when things are heating up, there is definitely lots of kissing.
So, question for the ladies: Do you enjoy making out if there is no sex in the immediate future? I guess I can sorta identify with not wanting to really make out & then not do anything else.

rbjcksn

If you love somebody/attracted it shouldn't matter where you are or what you are doing. Kiss em !!

Chari_Jan

For me, I think kissing is extremely important, and GUYS, come on!!!! Seriously! You LOVED kissing when it was our 3rd date and you thought you might be getting to score! Kisses were on fire! What happened, now that "scoring" is no longer a challenge, you just wanna skip to the good part? That's not cool. My question to the guys is, if you don't like it in the context of a relationship, did you not like it on that 2nd or 3rd date? Was it seen as just a requirement to get past so you can get to the good stuff?
I'm discovering that my boyfriend is not real affectionate either. Sometimes I sneak up behind him & squeeze him & kiss him on the neck, and he seems OK with that, (I asked and he said yeah) but he rarely initiates hugging & holding if it's non-sexual. But when things are heating up, there is definitely lots of kissing.
So, question for the ladies: Do you enjoy making out if there is no sex in the immediate future? I guess I can sorta identify with not wanting to really make out & then not do anything else.

No kissing even during foreplay for us. :sad:

KimHesse

wow!!! I really thought I was the only one with this problem. My husband is not a big kisser either and when we do it is just a peck!!! Drives my crazy!!! I dont know what to tell you or what to do myself!!!!

Chari_Jan

wow!!! I really thought I was the only one with this problem. My husband is not a big kisser either and when we do it is just a peck!!! Drives my crazy!!! I dont know what to tell you or what to do myself!!!!

Nope...you're not alone. Sorry. haha

Cameron_1969

I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

"Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

Cheers.
-wtk

Cameron_1969

I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

"Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

Cheers.
-wtk

Because the playground is free and Disney world cost's $100 bucks.

MamaKeeks

Kissing is extemely personal and intimate. I think (and I'm sure many will disagree with me!) that it's actually more personal and intimate than sex is, because you can detach yourself from the act of sex much more easily than from an intense kiss.... well, I can at least! lol. I think it's more mental, less physical maybe? Either way, it's

Yes, lack of intimate kissing can be an indication that there is something emotionally wrong in your relationship. If you don't want to share that intense personal experience with your lover, there could be something wrong.

Or, it could be a germy thing. Mouths are gross! Bad breath, food stuck in teeth, slimy saliva... who knows what could be turning someone off?! Lol.

Or a past experience related to kissing that has tarnished the experience and the intimacy involved...

Could be so many reasons.

I think it's important to talk about it, since it's obviously important to you. And it's clear you love him and think he's perfect for you, outside of this one thing. If this is all that is standing in the way of true happiness for you, talk about it, let him know, and see what the two of you can do to make it work for each other.

Good luck - and many happy smooches to you!!! :smooched:

Banks01

Tic tac?


It's weird, I loved kissing one particular ex but didn't like kissing my wife (now ex) and recently liked missing someone I was sorta dating.


But overall, most girls I've kissed weren't good. Not to say that they weren't, but to say the experience wasn't.

auroranflash

We smooch all the time. Not just on the lips, little kisses on the hand and the cheek and forehead, etc, we are both very affectionate and cuddly :P