Kissing issue
Replies
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It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with this guy other than your kissing issue. So you have to ask yourself, is this something you want to lose the relationship over? Almost every relationship is going to have issues that one person doesn't like about the other. If you want the entire package and won't settle for a few issues that aren't 100% the way you'd prefer them, you're never going to be happy.
You're absolutely right. Thank you for pointing that out. :flowerforyou:
He is pretty amazing! :blushing:
You're very welcome. I had a relationship end because I wasn't affectionate enough for him. After I tried over and over to make him understand how I'm just not an affectionate person and that I just wasn't comfortable with the constant touchy-feely stuff. He ended the relationship anyway, because it was a deal breaker for him. But if you're really crazy about this guy, don't let this get in the way and don't take it personally. More than likely it has nothing to do with his feelings for you, but with his own discomfort
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Ok....my boyfriend is not big on kissing. He will if I ask but it always seems like a chore for him. We have talked about it a little and he says it's just not something he really likes and it's no big deal for him. I just don't get it!! How can you not like kissing??!!
Does anyone else have a BF/GF or spouse that is this way? And if so, how do you deal with it.
My DH isn't a kisser. There's no story to it, I love to kiss, he doesn't, whatever.0 -
No kissing wouldn't work for me at all. It's so important to me that my partner is a kisser too.0
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I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:
"Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"
Cheers.
-wtk
Because the playground is free and Disney world cost's $100 bucks.
^^^^^^BAHAHAHA!!!! YES!! I'm using this next time I'm asked for ..... well a trip to Disneyworld :laugh:0 -
i couldnt be with someone who doesnt like to kiss.
Heavy kissing 99% of the time leads to other things.. For me anyway..0 -
My EX-husband was not into kissing. It should have been a huge red flag. It was not the reason we got divorced, but I always missed it & I will never consider a relationship with someone who is not into kissing again. It's too important to me.0
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For me, I think kissing is extremely important, and GUYS, come on!!!! Seriously! You LOVED kissing when it was our 3rd date and you thought you might be getting to score! Kisses were on fire! What happened, now that "scoring" is no longer a challenge, you just wanna skip to the good part? That's not cool. My question to the guys is, if you don't like it in the context of a relationship, did you not like it on that 2nd or 3rd date? Was it seen as just a requirement to get past so you can get to the good stuff?
I'm discovering that my boyfriend is not real affectionate either. Sometimes I sneak up behind him & squeeze him & kiss him on the neck, and he seems OK with that, (I asked and he said yeah) but he rarely initiates hugging & holding if it's non-sexual. But when things are heating up, there is definitely lots of kissing.
So, question for the ladies: Do you enjoy making out if there is no sex in the immediate future? I guess I can sorta identify with not wanting to really make out & then not do anything else.
No kissing even during foreplay for us. :sad:
Well, that could be an issue or indicator. Kissing during sex is hot.0 -
My EX-husband was not into kissing. It should have been a huge red flag. It was not the reason we got divorced, but I always missed it & I will never consider a relationship with someone who is not into kissing again. It's too important to me.
Ditto. :flowerforyou:0 -
I adore kissing as long as his breath doesn't stink.. that's a big no no.0
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Women are aroused by the hormones in a partner's saliva and it acts like a drug to get everything else going. Seems to be an important step if you ask me
AGREED ^^^ Ten fold!!:bigsmile:0 -
My hubby isn't a massive kisser either. He does hug me a lot, and hold my hand. He tells me every day he loves me just not into too much kissing. Upsets me actually. Seems a lot of guys are like this though. Glad I read this thread x
Your hubby sounds exactly like my BF. Perfectly amazing in almost everyway EXCEPT....Kissing.
I, personally, don't have this problem :smooched: BUT if kissing is the only thing that is missing then, honestly, what's to complain about .... in the grand scheme of a relationship that shouldn't be an issue.
Part of loving someone is loving them for who they are. Not everyone is into kissing but that doesn't mean they aren't worth the time or the love. 
I would never break up with a guy for not being into kissing if that was the only issue.
In my opinion, those that claim their EX was not into kissing and that was one of the reasons why they are their ex or those that claim they could never be with someone who wasn't into kissing ... well, that's just cold. :brokenheart: What a sad reason to leave someone or to not give someone a chance. :noway:0 -
For me, I think kissing is extremely important, and GUYS, come on!!!! Seriously! You LOVED kissing when it was our 3rd date and you thought you might be getting to score! Kisses were on fire! What happened, now that "scoring" is no longer a challenge, you just wanna skip to the good part? That's not cool. My question to the guys is, if you don't like it in the context of a relationship, did you not like it on that 2nd or 3rd date? Was it seen as just a requirement to get past so you can get to the good stuff?
I'm discovering that my boyfriend is not real affectionate either. Sometimes I sneak up behind him & squeeze him & kiss him on the neck, and he seems OK with that, (I asked and he said yeah) but he rarely initiates hugging & holding if it's non-sexual. But when things are heating up, there is definitely lots of kissing.
So, question for the ladies: Do you enjoy making out if there is no sex in the immediate future? I guess I can sorta identify with not wanting to really make out & then not do anything else.
No kissing even during foreplay for us. :sad:
Well, that could be an issue or indicator. Kissing during sex is hot.
I truly don't believe our relationship is in any trouble and I don't think it's personal. It's just not something he enjoys as much as I do. I personally don't understand how he couldn't enjoy kissing because I think it's sexy as hell but.....we're different. :ohwell:0 -
Please don't take this the wrong way. . but maybe the kiss just isn't very good?. . .I dated a REALLY nice girl, and I love kissing. . but she was a terrible kisser! It was like kissing a dental patient who's saying 'ahh'. . and dry too. .
. . .and here's where I failed. . b/c I never told her. . how do you tell someone that!? Is it something you can learn, or are you just good at it or not. . ? Like singing. .
I can relate! I dated a guy who was OMG sooooo hot... movie star hot, I think I may have actually swooned the first time I met him! Anyway, the guy could NOT kiss worth a darn! I did try to tell him, once... he would just sorta open his mouth, and place lips on lips... then nothing! It was the strangest thing! Not as bad as tongue down the throat or slobbering, but... just not right! (That's not why things didn't work out BTW... I probably could have dealt with that.)0 -
I don't want to read 4 pages of replies so I have no idea if this has been mentioned before or not. I work with kids and sometimes kids have aversions to certain tactile things. My son, for example, hated the feel of grass against bare skin when he was an infant/toddler. Some kids have issues with mud, dirt, water, some even have an aversion to being touched at all. I believe as we grow into adults we don't necessarily outgrow those things, but we learn to deal with them and they become less obvious. It's possible for your bf it's a tactile issue. Don't take it personally, if he says he loves you, then he loves you.0
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Women are aroused by the hormones in a partner's saliva and it acts like a drug to get everything else going. Seems to be an important step if you ask me
AGREED ^^^ Ten fold!!:bigsmile:
Yep! Maybe we need to publish a public awareness ad letting the guys out there know this! Seems to be a common problem!0 -
I don't want to read 4 pages of replies so I have no idea if this has been mentioned before or not. I work with kids and sometimes kids have aversions to certain tactile things. My son, for example, hated the feel of grass against bare skin when he was an infant/toddler. Some kids have issues with mud, dirt, water, some even have an aversion to being touched at all. I believe as we grow into adults we don't necessarily outgrow those things, but we learn to deal with them and they become less obvious. It's possible for your bf it's a tactile issue. Don't take it personally, if he says he loves you, then he loves you.
I don't think you are too off base with this thought. 0 -
Errr...I don't understand how people do not like to kiss. I absolutely love kissing. Its the most passionate thing you can do with your partner. I have literally made out for hours in a car before getting to business back at my place. I don't know what it is but just staring into someones eyes and then making out with them is just really hot!
Plus a self pat on the back.....im a great kisser lol0 -
Errr...I don't understand how people do not like to kiss. I absolutely love kissing. Its the most passionate thing you can do with your partner. I have literally made out for hours in a car before getting to business back at my place. I don't know what it is but just staring into someones eyes and then making out with them is just really hot!
Plus a self pat on the back.....im a great kisser lol
Gettin' a bit warm in here :smokin:0 -
Errr...I don't understand how people do not like to kiss. I absolutely love kissing. Its the most passionate thing you can do with your partner. I have literally made out for hours in a car before getting to business back at my place. I don't know what it is but just staring into someones eyes and then making out with them is just really hot!
Plus a self pat on the back.....im a great kisser lol
Same here. I guess that is why I can't wrap my brain around my BF's aversion to it.0 -
I always used to ask myself (pre marriage) if I could imagine kissing the guy if it was someone I thought I was interested in. Just kissing my husband gets me *in the mood*. I LOVE kissing and he certainly doesn't seem to mind it either...0
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Women are aroused by the hormones in a partner's saliva and it acts like a drug to get everything else going. Seems to be an important step if you ask me
AGREED ^^^ Ten fold!!:bigsmile:
Yep! Maybe we need to publish a public awareness ad letting the guys out there know this! Seems to be a common problem!
Seriously.
Cosmo needs to publish a man's mag with the insider tips.0 -
Well I've been with both and I must say I can't stand a non-kisser, definitely puts a wedge between me and her. I find it's an opening to their soul(if that makes sense) and I want ALL OF HER so kissing is one way to have that.
As mentioned by some, I do consider a RED FLAG as kissing is quite intimate so perhaps your BF has intimacy issues, the reasons behind that he surely knows. Will he honestly share those with you is another thing.0 -
Errr...I don't understand how people do not like to kiss. I absolutely love kissing. Its the most passionate thing you can do with your partner. I have literally made out for hours in a car before getting to business back at my place. I don't know what it is but just staring into someones eyes and then making out with them is just really hot!
Plus a self pat on the back.....im a great kisser lol
Same here. I guess that is why I can't wrap my brain around my BF's aversion to it.
gates05, darlin', I know that in some relationships, things like kissing are small potatos. It seems to be a weighty issue for you though. If speaking to your man doesn't open that door for him to see that it is important to him, there may be a few other things going on there. Nothing that has anything to do with you, I'm sure. **(ETA: OfficalPR said it better, see above)**
From personal experience first it was kissing that went out the window, followed closely by any display of affection, which lead to me not "getting my love tank filled" to borrow from reality TV.
This may not be so in your relationship, but the communication will hopefully help. :flowerforyou:0 -
Ok....my boyfriend is not big on kissing. He will if I ask but it always seems like a chore for him. We have talked about it a little and he says it's just not something he really likes and it's no big deal for him. I just don't get it!! How can you not like kissing??!!
Does anyone else have a BF/GF or spouse that is this way? And if so, how do you deal with it.
I am not that big on kissing either ,it's not that it's unenjoyable I just prefer other forms of intimacy.0 -
Well I've been with both and I must say I can't stand a non-kisser, definitely puts a wedge between me and her. I find it's an opening to their soul(if that makes sense) and I want ALL OF HER so kissing is one way to have that.
As mentioned by some, I do consider a RED FLAG as kissing is quite intimate so perhaps your BF has intimacy issues, the reasons behind that he surely knows. Will he honestly share those with you is another thing.
He has had some pretty tramatic things happen in his life so I think that has a lot to do with it. :frown:0 -
Well I've been with both and I must say I can't stand a non-kisser, definitely puts a wedge between me and her. I find it's an opening to their soul(if that makes sense) and I want ALL OF HER so kissing is one way to have that.
This reminds me of when I first kissed my now husband. He leaned into my car window and planted such an incredible soul-stirring kiss --- my friend who was sitting next to me said "sweet jeebus sister, i felt that all the way over HERE!!!" I think it's definitely a soul sharing experience, and your comment makes TOTAL sense to me0 -
Errr...I don't understand how people do not like to kiss. I absolutely love kissing. Its the most passionate thing you can do with your partner. I have literally made out for hours in a car before getting to business back at my place. I don't know what it is but just staring into someones eyes and then making out with them is just really hot!
Plus a self pat on the back.....im a great kisser lol
Same here. I guess that is why I can't wrap my brain around my BF's aversion to it.
gates05, darlin', I know that in some relationships, things like kissing are small potatos. It seems to be a weighty issue for you though. If speaking to your man doesn't open that door for him to see that it is important to him, there may be a few other things going on there. Nothing that has anything to do with you, I'm sure. **(ETA: OfficalPR said it better, see above)**
From personal experience first it was kissing that went out the window, followed closely by any display of affection, which lead to me not "getting my love tank filled" to borrow from reality TV.
This may not be so in your relationship, but the communication will hopefully help. :flowerforyou:
We've talked about it a little but I think it's time for another round. Thank you for helping. :flowerforyou:0 -
Figured as much, well I would work on it with him due to the love that exists there. Let him know how important that is to you though, you feel it's a way to express intimacy.Well I've been with both and I must say I can't stand a non-kisser, definitely puts a wedge between me and her. I find it's an opening to their soul(if that makes sense) and I want ALL OF HER so kissing is one way to have that.
As mentioned by some, I do consider a RED FLAG as kissing is quite intimate so perhaps your BF has intimacy issues, the reasons behind that he surely knows. Will he honestly share those with you is another thing.
He has had some pretty tramatic things happen in his life so I think that has a lot to do with it. :frown:0 -
Figured as much, well I would work on it with him due to the love that exists there. Let him know how important that is to you though, you feel it's a way to express intimacy.Well I've been with both and I must say I can't stand a non-kisser, definitely puts a wedge between me and her. I find it's an opening to their soul(if that makes sense) and I want ALL OF HER so kissing is one way to have that.
As mentioned by some, I do consider a RED FLAG as kissing is quite intimate so perhaps your BF has intimacy issues, the reasons behind that he surely knows. Will he honestly share those with you is another thing.
He has had some pretty tramatic things happen in his life so I think that has a lot to do with it. :frown:
We do love each other very much. I'm almost 37 years old and I've had LOTS of relationships but never one that felt like this. usually it only takes a few months for me to lose that "fire" for someone but it just keeps getting stronger with him. I am in total awe of how much I love this guy. And there is no doubt in my mind that he doesn't love me the same way. 0 -
Yea, my boyfriend used to be all about kissing but I'm pretty sure that only because he never really got to make-out before me. We only kiss when we're saying bye for the day now and we only have "deeper kisses" when there's a possibility of something else happening.
I dunno, just seem like most guys either are totally into it or not but I feel like most of them feel like it's the first step to getting "more."
I'm glad for this post though, I was a bit worried that since my boyfriend isn't all that affectionate and doesn't seem all that into kissing (he enjoys it when we're in the process it seems) that he wouldn't like sex either. We're both virgins so I have no idea.0
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