Steroids and Dating and Attraction

mrowrmeowmrowr

I've dated someone on steroids before; I wouldn't say it was a completely negative experience.

I just think people should be happy with who they are and if they want bigger muscles, work for it. I know muscle building is a lengthy process, but it's worth it. This particular person competed in bodybuilding competitions, so I felt that he didn't wholly earn his physique--which bothered me a little.
I know there is a lot of it in the bodybuilding community, and he would argue that if other people didn't want to go up against that, they'd compete in all natural shows.

The negatives of the relationship (when he was on them) were that he had an overwhelmingly high sex drive--like too high. I don't think roid rage is a real thing, but I did witness him being extremely violent once, in a situation where he shouldn't have been.

Long story...all in all, not again. I kind of view it as cheating, just as liposuction...

ecl702

Having grown up around athletes (specifically baseball players) from Little League to the Majors and having been an athlete myself most of my life, this has become a question in my world many, many times. I can even speak to both sides of your question. So I'll just tell my story in a Faulkner sort of way and hope I stumble on an answer you like.

As a woman, I HAVE dated guys who took supplements to keep up with the competition, from the legal kind to the illegal kind. With that, I can't say empirically that I would or would not date someone if I knew they were a juicer. I certainly don't seek it out, but I also believe in taking each case on an individual level, so instead, let me just share my experiences and thoughts on the PED phenomenon.

Let's start with the gateway stuff, the "legal" crap. It started in high school, but at that level, the guys who WERE doing it were my teammates rather than potential partners. I remember the moral, ethical, and confidence struggles my teammates went through when entertaining the idea of "using." Most of the ones who did, as it were, didn't go very far after high school, having spent more time getting jacked than getting skilled. The relationship is more correlation than causation, but I find it worth noting nonetheless.

A couple of the guys DID play college baseball and an even smaller number went on to play professional ball for a while (I'm not naming names to avoid speculation), and at that point, they were being provided "supplements" by their coaching staff (this was quite a few years back), so their questions became "answered," so to speak, by the perceived approval of their decision. Most of the guys didn't use anything serious but definitely lived on protein shakes and energy supplements. I did that myself in high school and college, to be honest, but that can become a problem as any supplement use comes with risks. The players in college are under a LOT of pressure to either get drafted or make the decision that this is the end of the line for them, neither being an easy task. If their decision is "draft or die" and they get their way, the pressure doesn't go away in the minors. No way. It only gets worse, and the supplements become stronger. It's not hard to see how PEDs can enter the picture quickly with a combination of that pressure, the media coverage of All Star use, and the hard sell marketing utilized by so many companies. To an athlete, it almost becomes a question of, "Am I the only one NOT doing this?"

I've had the discussion with former teammates and former boyfriends so many times (from the afore-mentioned high school teammates through my current lot of professional and collegiate level buddies), and the story always comes back to two overarching themes: 1. "I just got it from <fill in quirky teammate nickname here> and he's hitting BOMBS this year!" or 2. "I don't see why it's a big deal; I'm not doing steroids." Like I said, I've tried a lot of stuff myself with mixed results, so if the question is supplements, most athletes can probably tell you they've done something at some time.

Now, this is, of course, in reference to the legal stuff that's available in any GNC or Vitamin Shoppe. The story greatly changes when you add anabolics and prohormones to the equation. This is a scarier, darker path that MAY or MAY NOT be more dangerous. The stuff you get at GNC is by no means an apple, but the classic steroid, good lord, look out! I've had some experience here, too, and I've ended relationships over the side effects of these substances. I've also watched teammates, friends, and friends' boyfriends go down this path. It may sound like I've just spent forever around meatheads, but I really haven't. Athletes have greater access to this stuff than a lot of people think.

Couple stories to add personal credibility:

1. A good friend of mine was dating another good friend of mine. She was a local news anchor, and he was a minor league ballplayer. They were GREAT their first "season" together, and they even somehow made it work over the off season. Granted, they didn't see each other much, so the transition he underwent was both less obvious and way more shocking to both of us. When they started dating, he was a AA All Star, power hitting outfielder with a good glove and notable speed. He was no five-tool guy, but he had a shot at moving up. He was also a genuinely nice guy, and he adored her. Baseball players aren't known for romance, especially in the minors when they usually have no designs on permanence and they keep weird hours. He was the exception here--albeit gracelessly, but he tried.

So after the first really great season, he went home. She went to California to see him once, and they met in Dallas another time. When she came back from the Texas rendezvous, she said she noticed he was a little different but we decided it was likely related to frustration over off season training. She also said he looked a lot bigger, but she said it could have been that she hadn't seen him in forever.

However, when he came back, he was completely different. He didn't have as much time for her; he'd rather spend it in the gym. He was eating weird crap; two whole chickens a day was just the beginning. Most disturbingly, though, was his personality. Never one to have a temper, he was suddenly breaking bats and throwing helmets when things didn't go his way. His home run numbers were up, but his speed seemed off. His fuse was short, and he picked a couple fights in bars (a HUGE no-no in minor league ball; this can end in outright release). She told me he was just upset about his season and under a lot of pressure from the club. I disagreed.

In a weird drunken rampage one night (because steroids and alcohol is DUUUUMB), I called him out on it, and he caved. There WAS pressure from the club to keep up the power numbers, so he gave in to a shady personal trainer's suggestion that he just use "until I get my head on straight." I told him he was a different person both on and off the field and that it wasn't worth five extra jacks a season to end up alone, walking down the road hitchhiking like the Hulk. Of course, he flew off the handle and ended up getting in a fight with a random guy who looked at him funny. Soon thereafter, he and my friend broke up, and the team sent him back to A ball to get his act together. Where he is now, I don't know, but it's obviously not the Show or we'd see his name somewhere.

2. A guy I dated thought about it seriously, as he was under a great deal of pressure from the club, too. I listened to him weigh the pros and cons out loud over and over, weighing in only when he asked me at first. However, when he started to lean toward sticking a needle in his butt, I stepped in more forcefully. Another teammate knew what he was considering as well and ended up involving a trainer whose ability to keep things confidential is still commendable to this day. He ended up not doing it, but he's still playing AA ball for the same team he was five years ago, but he's happy with it. He's doing what he loves to do.

3. My cousin started taking anabolics to keep his edge in college ball, and he was RIPPED UP for a while. He didn't go overboard in how big he got, but you could tell he had something working for him. Now, years after he's finished playing, he still goes to the gym and works out hard, but he looks like a giant ball of dough that someone hasn't quite worked into anything. The moment he stopped using, no matter how much he still trained, he simply fell apart. Seeing him now is like seeing a deflated balloon still trying to float. You may say, "Yeah, but who cares when you're older and not playing anymore?" Uh, well, he's only 26, and he has the body of a 55-year-old man who never spent much time in a gym. It's sad, really.

The moral here is that, while the "edge" seems obvious to some guys, it isn't worth it to others. I guess all of this is to say that any way you look at it, steroids, prohormones, and a number of other PEDs are dangerous and can be detrimental rather than helpful. I wouldn't go out of my way to date someone who does any of this stuff because I'm attracted to athletes, not Atlas. The "look" that goes with these drugs is both overblown and short-lived. Yes, women are attracted to muscles, but most of us are NOT Snooki and are, therefore, not looking for you to be shiny, bulging, and veiny. What we like is health, and health does not include drugs that make you look like the Situation (who has an odd body). Plus, there is a distinct look that comes out of steroid use that is absolutely NOT attractive; it's the weirdly barrel-shaped belly, arms so big you can't scratch your own ear, and weirdly disproportionate and tiny legs.

Don't fool yourselves, guys, we want you to look like you hit a gym or a trail regularly, but we don't want you to be useless. There is such a difference between a healthy, athletic guy who's in shape and can hang with us on a good run, walk the links with us on a nice day, or "accidentally" tackle us in a pick up flag football game and a guy who's a steroid-using powerlifting juicehead who would run out of energy by the end of the block or couldn't play on your beer league softball team with you because he can't swing a bat all the way around due to too much random muscle mass. While I don't have research to back up this claim, I think it's safe to say that the majority of women probably don't want to deal with you all 'roided out, whether it's because you're mean, vain, or pathetic. We want you to be able to keep up and be fun to be around, and it sure as hell doesn't hurt if you've got a nice, hard fought six-pack to go with that smile.

Anomalia

I have been in a relationship with a man who did steroids. Everything else aside roid rage is no joke and I would never date anything who took steroids again.

Nopedotjpeg

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to his name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

Nopedotjpeg

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to their name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

I wanted to be in special forces, I read a lot of books on them. SO part of my beliefs comes from that. So in reply to your comment, "Do whatever it takes to win."

In that mentality it would mean that if I killed my competition off, it would be acceptable.
There has to be a line. This is a sport, not armed combat.

Nopedotjpeg

woops double post

Nopedotjpeg

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to their name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

I wanted to be in special forces, I read a lot of books on them. SO part of my beliefs comes from that. So in reply to your comment, "Do whatever it takes to win."

In that mentality it would mean that if I killed my competition off, it would be acceptable.
There has to be a line. This is a sport, not armed combat.

I was thinking earlier about the usage in sports. People say, "the people who don't take steroids in sports are the most committed they work hard." It actually takes bigger commitment to juice, work being equal, the difference is all the negative cogitations around steroid use.

I already showed pictures of when i used, i was like 19yrs old maybe 20, i used a lot, yet i was nothing special. People think if you use it, you'd turn in to mr.olympia. Not true, still takes hard work and dedication.

I've admitted they still need to work hard. However, I've yet to see how they have to work harder for the same results. Furthermore, steroid use is illegal in bodybuilding and sports, but it always seems like they're making a new work-around of passing a urinalysis.

mes1119

I wouldn't.

My boyfriend took creatine for awhile and it made him act really touchy and angry. I couldn't handle that so I can only imagine how awful steroids would be on behavior.

SqautsAndOats

My boyfriend took creatine for awhile and it made him act really touchy and angry. I couldn't handle that so I can only imagine how awful steroids would be on behavior.

wow world class ignorance right here. Creatine has 100% absolutely no effect on behavior, it is not a hormonal drug. Your body finds creatine in red meat, its 100% natural, you can't OD on creatine, your body only absorbs so much and then urinates any extra out, no damage what so ever to the liver, or any other organs for that matter.

Look up: PLACEBO EFFECT

Please avoid posting ignorant comments like this ever again, it is not beneficial to the MFP community.

SqautsAndOats

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to his name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

If they were to take steroids out of pro sports and Olympics, there would never ever be a new record. The athletes who are on the number one level are already at their genetic limit of performance, and are using steroids to surpass that human limit.

Sunscreenandsweat

I wouldn't date anyone that I know uses steroids. I'm not into huge muscular guys and I would be way too nervous about their temper because I know steroids affect your anger and other emotions.

Laces_0ut

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to his name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

If they were to take steroids out of pro sports and Olympics, there would never ever be a new record. The athletes who are on the number one level are already at their genetic limit of performance, and are using steroids to surpass that human limit.

new records would happen once we start manipulating the genes themselves.

ninerbuff

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to his name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

If they were to take steroids out of pro sports and Olympics, there would never ever be a new record. The athletes who are on the number one level are already at their genetic limit of performance, and are using steroids to surpass that human limit.

new records would happen once we start manipulating the genes themselves.

It ain't far off. GENE DOPING is just around the corner. If people here think steroids are bad, wonder what their take would be on gene doping.

A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

1Timothy4v8

I just want to say I am in no way attracted to a guy with balloon muscles AT ALL!!! I just can't help but wonder how they wip there bottoms lol,

but I will say if my hubby had done steroids before I met him I wouldn't care about the past we all make are mistake,

bt my first impression of men when I hear steroids is small balls, sooo that my play a fector in what a woman will decide

Laces_0ut

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to his name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

If they were to take steroids out of pro sports and Olympics, there would never ever be a new record. The athletes who are on the number one level are already at their genetic limit of performance, and are using steroids to surpass that human limit.

new records would happen once we start manipulating the genes themselves.

It ain't far off. GENE DOPING is just around the corner. If people here think steroids are bad, wonder what their take would be on gene doping.

A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

yep the athletes of 20 to 50 years in the future will make today's athletes look like children.

Rhea30

THIS IS AN OPEN DISCUSSION.

Okay let's face it, women love muscles and are immediately attracted to a strong looking male - sociobiological theory and whatnot. That said, the temptation of anabolic steroids or prohormones or anything of the sort is pretty strong amongst men, whether they admit it or not. I, for one, have FLEETINGLY (I stress fleetingly here) thought about it. I'd never ever do it though, as I've come to the simple conclusion that I would not be happy with myself if I did (not even going into the illegality of it - not worth it). I could never be proud of my accomplishments, although I do agree it takes massive amounts of work as well. I simply could not respect myself for going that route. I'm young enough where I can still reach my genetic limit by the time I'm in my lower/mid-30s, and I'm more than fine with that.

QUESTION FOR THE WOMEN: Would you ever date/marry a man who has used/uses steroids or prohormones? Would you be able to respect them? Because after the first impressions of physical attraction, a conscious effort has to be made to overcome that, once knowing he shoots himself in the butt with steroids lol. Would that be morally a dealbreaker for you? Granted, this may be a morality issue, as I'm sure lots of people here use recreational drugs and whatnot and steroids can be arguably defended as safer than prescription pill poppers looking to get high.

QUESTION FOR THE MEN: Have you thought about using, or have used (if you're man enough to admit it lol)? And do you respect the guys who do use them?

OH and I'm not talking about Ronnie Coleman/Phil Heath/Freakishly big people. I mean people who are jacked but would make it hard to determine if they've used or not.

DISCUSS.

I love muscles but wouldn't date a guy who did steroids (If I was a single lol). I much rather the guy care about his health. Too many negatives are attached with steroids.

fteale

Ok, I have only read the OP, and none of the replies, but I wanted to speak my first impression, rather than react to a whole load of other opinions.

I disagree entirely with the first basic premise than women like muscles. I do not and never have found big beefy guys remotely attractive, I find it a total turn off. I wouldn't want to date a man who wasted time in the gym lifting lumps of metal rather than spending time at home with his family when he wasn't at work, and I certainly wouldn't be attracted to someone who was vain enough to inject themselves with hormones to get the body beautiful.

I like men who read, who can mend anything, who will change the sheets on the beds and put the bins out and who wants, more than anything else, to spend time with me. That is attractive in a man. Not bulgy lumps of meat. I have no objection to anyone doing sports, but taking the time to get that muscly, and even worse, taking things to get bigger than you are naturally going to is just way to vain for me. So while yes, taking steroids would be a deal breaker for me, I wouldn't be there in the first place, because it is so extremely unlikely I would ever be with the kind of man who cared that much about appearances.

SqautsAndOats

I love women but I would never date a woman who: had any surgery even just having her tonsils or wisdom teeth removed, wears make-up, wears high heels, wears contacts, wears perfume. You're cheeks aren't really that rosy, your eye lashes aren't really that long/black, you aren't really that tall, you can't really see that well, you don't really smell like flowers, that is just cheating your true self.

This is all I can think of when people say steroid users are vain, or cheating, blah blah blah

paigemarie93

You do know that Christian Bale dropped all that weight for a movie roll right?
He gained all his weight back afterwards, plus he looked like that before he dropped the weight.
So, crappy example!

Nopedotjpeg

I've yet to hear anyone address the ethical part of it within sports. I don't discount hard work people put into it their sport/craft. However, where is the line drawn with what is okay to aid an athlete? I admire the hell out of Konstantinovs (world class powerlifter), but if I found out he was using steroids in order to aid his training, as the corny ad campaign says, it would kind of put an asterisk next to his name. It makes it hard to aspire to be like someone when you know this.

I've even read on other sites where people ask "Where does the natural competitor come into play?" and the response tends to be "They don't." That's the biggest issue I take with steroid use. That if you want to truly compete in strength sports, the mentality is that you have to use steroids to do so.

If they were to take steroids out of pro sports and Olympics, there would never ever be a new record. The athletes who are on the number one level are already at their genetic limit of performance, and are using steroids to surpass that human limit.

I disagree. If world record holders were not taking steroids then the one with a higher limitation/threshold would win out and beat the new record.