Match Vs eHarmony?

JanieJack

My friend who wants to go online is thinking about eHarmony, as she's convinced that's the best dating site to use in order to find someone to marry (rather than just a one-night-stand as is the rep of others like POF, OKcupid).

I know one couple who met on Match.com and one who met on eHarmony, but hear a lot of horror stories from both. So what do you all think?

BlessedMoon

I started eHarmony and stuck with it for about 3 months. I tried it first because I had the thought that since its based on so many areas of compatability that I might find someone who is more my type. However, after being on eHarmony for 3 months, I found that it didn't really do a good job of matching me with someone I would be compatable with. So after that, I decided to give Match a try. The thing I like about Match is that I have the opportunity to browse on my own, which eHarmony doesn't let you do. eHarmony was also much more expensive than Match. I personally don't think it was worth the cost. To compare the results, I have been on Match for 4 months and had 4 first dates. I was on eHarmony 3 months and had 3 dates with the same guy. All in all, each of the guys I chose to go on a date with were not looking for a one night stand. Not to say that there aren't guys looking for just a fling on there. If you read their profiles, you get a clue as to what they're looking for. I did a pretty good job of discerning who was looking for a relationship and who wasn't. The problem is that you can't really tell if there's chemistry until you actually meet in person. I haven't found what I'm looking for yet, but the looking part has been pretty fun so far. Hope that helps.

hiker282

Why use either when there's MFP for free!

scapez

Why use either when there's MFP for free!

Agreed and it's the BEST way to meet someone, should you be so lucky!

DorothyR87

I am actually married to a man I met on Match.com. We have been together for over 4 years and I am very happy. I tried eharmony when they had the free trial but I didn't like it because I felt it told me who I could talk to and didn't let me decided. I prefer Match for sure.

abnerner

I have been dating a guy I met from POF for 3 years, we aren't all one night stands

dessiepenn

My husband's best friend found his new wife and soon to mother of his first child on eHarmony a few years ago. He is a lawyer and was so busy finishing up law school and tired of meeting girls in bars that he gave it a shot. Now he didn't find his wife on the first try but I believe she was the third one he went on a date with. She is a teacher and was pretty much in the same boat he was. So due to their story I totally say go for it!!

LilacDreamer

My friend who wants to go online is thinking about eHarmony, as she's convinced that's the best dating site to use in order to find someone to marry (rather than just a one-night-stand as is the rep of others like POF, OKcupid).

I know one couple who met on Match.com and one who met on eHarmony, but hear a lot of horror stories from both. So what do you all think?

I met my husband on Okcupid... and we've been together for 4 years... so it's not all about one night stands.

igora_soma

I met my serious bf on OkCupid, but it definitely does take a lot of weeding!!

innerfashionista

I met my husband on OKC. I can't justify spending the money on a site when there's ones for free. If you have in your profile that you're not looking for just relations, and screen your people carefully, there's nothing wrong with a free one. You have to screen people you meet on the paid sites, too. I feel, personally, that it just comes down to communication and making sure you're as transparent as possible.

hannahbanana0480

I have given up on online dating, here or else where. All I got were weirdos. I tried eharmony and hated that I couldn't browse on my own. All the people they "matched" me with were definitely not my type. I have also "chatted" with people here on MFP and was forced to close my account and open this one because of all the creepers I was getting. Online dating is scary, IMHO. I am just going to do it the old fashioned way.

DietingMommy08

I met my boyfriend of 7 years on cpixel (basically a rating site) and i couldnt be happier.

Not everybody is looking for a one night stand. Lol.

littlewhittles

I am actually married to a man I met on Match.com. We have been together for over 4 years and I am very happy. I tried eharmony when they had the free trial but I didn't like it because I felt it told me who I could talk to and didn't let me decided. I prefer Match for sure.

I agree with this. I tried eHarmony and everyone IT paired me with (because that's how it worked) was not who I was in to, and we had opposing interests.

I tried Match about a year later, had a few successful dates, and am actually dating a guy I met on there. We've been together 6 years. I like that you get to pick, and that you get to see pictures. I know a lot of people say looks shouldn't matter, but attraction is attraction and it does.

My 2¢

mrshoneybear1014

I met my husband on Craig's List. Yes, Craig's List. I know that place is known to be just for booty calls but it wasn't like that at all. I mean, sure with most of my responses, but I just weeded those out.

As far as actual sites go, I met my ex on Yahoo Personals and we were together for 3 years. I personally liked Match better than eHarmony because eHarmony chose for me and pretty much came up with 0 matches. I don't think finding love is that black and white.

Good luck!

htmlgirl

I actually met my husband on hotornot. We were both looking for a relationships. He had a paid membership and I just had a free one so we were still able to message each other.

elexichoccyeater

Hi I was on Match for 3 years and trust me there are strange ones on all the sites. I believed there would be more committed men on a site where they had to pay!!! However a couple of years ago I met the man of my dreams on POF!!!!! I think one paid and one free is a great idea... just tell her to really vet them first x If you want me as a friend for internet dating advice, please feel free to add me x As I said I did it for 3 years so I learned quite a bit!!!!

AubriaJordan

I have used both.

Which ever one she picks I recommend not being on it for more than 3 months. The longer you are on it they just start sending you random people to satisfy you and they may be people that have created a profile but then never logged on, free profiles or anything they can so it's a waste of time and money.

Recently, my co-worker met her current boyfriend on her last day of Match and his first day of Match.

jalyner

I married a man I met from eHarmony. I had a great experience with it and met a lot of really neat people. I met (in person) 4 people from the site and dated two of them for a few months, trying to get to know each other. And then I met my husband. I would recommend it to anyone, but I have nothing to compare it to, as I've never been on Match.com. I was on the site for about 8 months.

LilacDreamer

Recently, my co-worker met her current boyfriend on her last day of Match and his first day of Match.

I met my husband on okcupid on the day I was going to delete my profile (after 2 years on the site)

It was his first day on okcupid, and i saw his picture on the section "new to okcupid" and clicked it.

will010574

From a male perspective...Ive tried them both and hate eHarmony. As has been repeatedly stated, you get no choice on eHarmony and the matches they did send my way were anything but. Match is fun but hasnt been real succesful either. I have actually had better conversations, emails etc from MFP (and Im really not using this as a potential dating site)

I have heard great stories from people on all the online sites which is why I tried it, but have had little to no luck. Met alot of great people just nothing that stuck.

If your friend is going to pay for a site though go with Match, it gives you a lot more options.

regina2063

OK. AFTER READING THIS....WHAT ARE THE ONLINE DATING SERVICES NAMES THAT YOU ALL MENTION...

WHAT IS OKC
CPIXEL

AND THE LAST ONE....I NEVER HEARD OF THESE..MAYBE I WILL HAVE SOME LUCK

recriger

Say a web site has 189,000 members. How are you going to choose who you want to contact? "Looks", that is the first part of human interaction. I have heard many people get angry with the dating scene because "He/She wouldn't even talk to me! He/she made their choice on my looks alone." or something similar. Beyond looks, you could spend 2 years looking through all those profiles to find someone you have more than one thing in common with. The advantage to E-Harmony is that they do a lot of the weeding out for you. You get a pool of people that have similar interests. When I say similar I mean that if there are 25 criteria, they will agree on 80 percent or so. Plus you get to set your priority traits. This way a Catholic won't get paired with a Satanist if they don't want to and you won't have to spend 20 minutes reading through a profile just to find that out after all that wasted time.

I know 6 couples, including myself, that met on E-Harmony. It has several advantages IMHO. First is that you don't get to choose the first few contacts. There are pre-selected questions for the first few interactions. That may sound controling, but think of it this way...If you meet someone in a bar and they are Gorgeous, in your eyes, how much can they say that you will agree with on the spot? There are college degrees in persuasion and manipulation. A few short, relatively pointless e-mails can give someone enough information to build a good profile about you. The blind question doesn't allow them to make up an answer that you want to hear. They haven't been able to find out what you want to hear, they have to answer with what they really think. If you don't like the answer you delete them, they don't get the chance to make something up to change your mind. I don't remember if it was 3 or 4 times, but there are several automatic interactions before you are given the option of revealing your contact information.

Plus it takes a while to actually get registered on the site, so that weeds out nearly all of the "Meat counter shoppers". No one I know is going to spend 3 hours getting registered just to look at pics. You are relatively safe in assuming anyone on the site is serious about a serious relationship.

usafbeach

I tried match, okcupid and eharmony.

I met a lot of people on all of them. eHarmony dates I had tended to have the most compatible personalities with me.

Also, I met my wife on eHarmony.

LilacDreamer

Say a web site has 189,000 members. How are you going to choose who you want to contact? "Looks", that is the first part of human interaction. I have heard many people get angry with the dating scene because "He/She wouldn't even talk to me! He/she made their choice on my looks alone." or something similar. Beyond looks, you could spend 2 years looking through all those profiles to find someone you have more than one thing in common with. The advantage to E-Harmony is that they do a lot of the weeding out for you. You get a pool of people that have similar interests. When I say similar I mean that if there are 25 criteria, they will agree on 80 percent or so. Plus you get to set your priority traits. This way a Catholic won't get paired with a Satanist if they don't want to and you won't have to spend 20 minutes reading through a profile just to find that out after all that wasted time.

I know 6 couples, including myself, that met on E-Harmony. It has several advantages IMHO. First is that you don't get to choose the first few contacts. There are pre-selected questions for the first few interactions. That may sound controling, but think of it this way...If you meet someone in a bar and they are Gorgeous, in your eyes, how much can they say that you will agree with on the spot? There are college degrees in persuasion and manipulation. A few short, relatively pointless e-mails can give someone enough information to build a good profile about you. The blind question doesn't allow them to make up an answer that you want to hear. They haven't been able to find out what you want to hear, they have to answer with what they really think. If you don't like the answer you delete them, they don't get the chance to make something up to change your mind. I don't remember if it was 3 or 4 times, but there are several automatic interactions before you are given the option of revealing your contact information.

Plus it takes a while to actually get registered on the site, so that weeds out nearly all of the "Meat counter shoppers". No one I know is going to spend 3 hours getting registered just to look at pics. You are relatively safe in assuming anyone on the site is serious about a serious relationship.

well no, when i met my husband on okcupid, he was listed under "new to okcupid"

"new to okcupid" is basically a streamlined section of okcpuid where they display the profile's and pictures of all the newest signups in your area. that way you can read about the person without clicking anything. And while his picture was funny and creative, his profile was even more amusing, interesting (and random) and that is why i chose to contact him.

Saruman_w

Seems like all these dating sites suck in some way or another. Sorta hard to tell which one's really worth your time.

annalee_1

I have no idea what POF is?!

rawheeler38

My husband and I actually met 6 years ago on myspace--and it was free! Of course that was before facebook became the big thing lol

econut2000

Oh let's see, I've tried match, eharmony, craig's list, yahoo personals....LOL! Of all the online sites, where did I have the most luck? Craig's list of all places! I tried the paid sites for several months: eHarmony didn't match me with a single person I would have been remotely compatible too (for instance, it tried to set me up with a mormon who absolutely didn't want to date anyone who wasn't mormon or had tattoos: clearly I have tattoos and I am an agnostic with Buddhist tendancies!! :laugh: ) Match at least allowed me to browse and I got 1 or 2 dates out of it. I ended up going on quite a few dates (some guys multiple dates) from Craig's List and ended up in a serious relationship for 3 years with someone I met on there. Yes, on Craig's List there are an awful lot of creepers so I had to weed them out, but I'm sure there are creepers on all the sites.

What has worked the absolute best? I stopped looking! I met my fiance through a mutual friend, it wasn't a set up, we all just happened to go out together. We've been together ever since (4 years in May!)

Good luck to your friend!! :flowerforyou:

caroldot

About 4 years ago I tried eHarmony based on the compatability & that they claimed to be christian/religous site. Weeellll....it set me up with my EX - husband!! Lol! :noway: which we got a good laugh about. If you think about it we did have alot in common....same area, same age range, 2 kids but that also told me it really doesn't base on personality. I felt like it was a waste of my time and I happened to meet someone thru a friend while I was on it anyway so never went back. Well now that relationship recently ended so thinking of doing Match. I have several GF's on it and they are at least having fun & meeting new people although they haven't met Mr. Right yet

For a while I had my issues with dating sites but I've come to realize....I work full time, single mom, live in the burbs & always busy with my kids! Unless he shows up on my doorstep, this seems to be the way to go.

MissTattoo

I have no idea what POF is?!

Plenty of Fish. My friend used POF and got a bunch of one night stands. She then went to Match and is currently planning her wedding to the guy she met there. They have been dating for 3 years now.

fluecok

maybe i should jump on board, been so busy i havent dated in a long long long time =/