Match Vs eHarmony?

recriger

Say a web site has 189,000 members. How are you going to choose who you want to contact? "Looks", that is the first part of human interaction. I have heard many people get angry with the dating scene because "He/She wouldn't even talk to me! He/she made their choice on my looks alone." or something similar. Beyond looks, you could spend 2 years looking through all those profiles to find someone you have more than one thing in common with. The advantage to E-Harmony is that they do a lot of the weeding out for you. You get a pool of people that have similar interests. When I say similar I mean that if there are 25 criteria, they will agree on 80 percent or so. Plus you get to set your priority traits. This way a Catholic won't get paired with a Satanist if they don't want to and you won't have to spend 20 minutes reading through a profile just to find that out after all that wasted time.

I know 6 couples, including myself, that met on E-Harmony. It has several advantages IMHO. First is that you don't get to choose the first few contacts. There are pre-selected questions for the first few interactions. That may sound controling, but think of it this way...If you meet someone in a bar and they are Gorgeous, in your eyes, how much can they say that you will agree with on the spot? There are college degrees in persuasion and manipulation. A few short, relatively pointless e-mails can give someone enough information to build a good profile about you. The blind question doesn't allow them to make up an answer that you want to hear. They haven't been able to find out what you want to hear, they have to answer with what they really think. If you don't like the answer you delete them, they don't get the chance to make something up to change your mind. I don't remember if it was 3 or 4 times, but there are several automatic interactions before you are given the option of revealing your contact information.

Plus it takes a while to actually get registered on the site, so that weeds out nearly all of the "Meat counter shoppers". No one I know is going to spend 3 hours getting registered just to look at pics. You are relatively safe in assuming anyone on the site is serious about a serious relationship.

usafbeach

I tried match, okcupid and eharmony.

I met a lot of people on all of them. eHarmony dates I had tended to have the most compatible personalities with me.

Also, I met my wife on eHarmony.

LilacDreamer

Say a web site has 189,000 members. How are you going to choose who you want to contact? "Looks", that is the first part of human interaction. I have heard many people get angry with the dating scene because "He/She wouldn't even talk to me! He/she made their choice on my looks alone." or something similar. Beyond looks, you could spend 2 years looking through all those profiles to find someone you have more than one thing in common with. The advantage to E-Harmony is that they do a lot of the weeding out for you. You get a pool of people that have similar interests. When I say similar I mean that if there are 25 criteria, they will agree on 80 percent or so. Plus you get to set your priority traits. This way a Catholic won't get paired with a Satanist if they don't want to and you won't have to spend 20 minutes reading through a profile just to find that out after all that wasted time.

I know 6 couples, including myself, that met on E-Harmony. It has several advantages IMHO. First is that you don't get to choose the first few contacts. There are pre-selected questions for the first few interactions. That may sound controling, but think of it this way...If you meet someone in a bar and they are Gorgeous, in your eyes, how much can they say that you will agree with on the spot? There are college degrees in persuasion and manipulation. A few short, relatively pointless e-mails can give someone enough information to build a good profile about you. The blind question doesn't allow them to make up an answer that you want to hear. They haven't been able to find out what you want to hear, they have to answer with what they really think. If you don't like the answer you delete them, they don't get the chance to make something up to change your mind. I don't remember if it was 3 or 4 times, but there are several automatic interactions before you are given the option of revealing your contact information.

Plus it takes a while to actually get registered on the site, so that weeds out nearly all of the "Meat counter shoppers". No one I know is going to spend 3 hours getting registered just to look at pics. You are relatively safe in assuming anyone on the site is serious about a serious relationship.

well no, when i met my husband on okcupid, he was listed under "new to okcupid"

"new to okcupid" is basically a streamlined section of okcpuid where they display the profile's and pictures of all the newest signups in your area. that way you can read about the person without clicking anything. And while his picture was funny and creative, his profile was even more amusing, interesting (and random) and that is why i chose to contact him.

Saruman_w

Seems like all these dating sites suck in some way or another. Sorta hard to tell which one's really worth your time.

annalee_1

I have no idea what POF is?!

rawheeler38

My husband and I actually met 6 years ago on myspace--and it was free! Of course that was before facebook became the big thing lol

econut2000

Oh let's see, I've tried match, eharmony, craig's list, yahoo personals....LOL! Of all the online sites, where did I have the most luck? Craig's list of all places! I tried the paid sites for several months: eHarmony didn't match me with a single person I would have been remotely compatible too (for instance, it tried to set me up with a mormon who absolutely didn't want to date anyone who wasn't mormon or had tattoos: clearly I have tattoos and I am an agnostic with Buddhist tendancies!! :laugh: ) Match at least allowed me to browse and I got 1 or 2 dates out of it. I ended up going on quite a few dates (some guys multiple dates) from Craig's List and ended up in a serious relationship for 3 years with someone I met on there. Yes, on Craig's List there are an awful lot of creepers so I had to weed them out, but I'm sure there are creepers on all the sites.

What has worked the absolute best? I stopped looking! I met my fiance through a mutual friend, it wasn't a set up, we all just happened to go out together. We've been together ever since (4 years in May!)

Good luck to your friend!! :flowerforyou:

caroldot

About 4 years ago I tried eHarmony based on the compatability & that they claimed to be christian/religous site. Weeellll....it set me up with my EX - husband!! Lol! :noway: which we got a good laugh about. If you think about it we did have alot in common....same area, same age range, 2 kids but that also told me it really doesn't base on personality. I felt like it was a waste of my time and I happened to meet someone thru a friend while I was on it anyway so never went back. Well now that relationship recently ended so thinking of doing Match. I have several GF's on it and they are at least having fun & meeting new people although they haven't met Mr. Right yet

For a while I had my issues with dating sites but I've come to realize....I work full time, single mom, live in the burbs & always busy with my kids! Unless he shows up on my doorstep, this seems to be the way to go.

MissTattoo

I have no idea what POF is?!

Plenty of Fish. My friend used POF and got a bunch of one night stands. She then went to Match and is currently planning her wedding to the guy she met there. They have been dating for 3 years now.

fluecok

maybe i should jump on board, been so busy i havent dated in a long long long time =/

JanieJack

thanks everyone, for your inputs

JanieJack

Update...last night my friend created an eHarmony account, and for grins I created one too (didn't pay). She immediately got a slew of seemingly possible matches. I got a bunch of old guys whose profiles tell me clearly why they're still single. She's gonna go ahead and pay for it. My social schedule is thinner than I'd like, but still full enough that I'm not gonna bother. We'll see what happens.

Miss2Mrs2013

I think there are horror stories in all online dating sites to be honest. Its all about how you go about "finding the one" thats important. I was quite strict with how I did it - they had to have a full, well written profile, had to have a photo etc etc. Dont get me wrong, over the years I have met some people that were not right for me at all, but they were at least who they said they were and werent "horror stories" - they were just not a match.

I have used both match and eharmony. I didnt meet anyone from eharmony. A week into match, I started talking to my now fiance! :-)

TNTwedell

Getting married to the man I met on Match.com, 3 yrs ago :blushing:
- was on for one month & thats all i needed. Our first date was 12hrs long & I knew that night that I was done

I did Eharmony at the same time, for the same one month - didnt like it. didnt meet anyone. seemed to "out of my control", I didnt like waiting for my "matches"

its super weird - the whole process. and i was VERY against it at first - but, I cant really argue with the results

kerriBB37

I met my fiance on Match.com 2.5 years ago.. I was only on it for one day before he messaged me so I don't have anything but amazing things to say about my experience My friends made me sign up and same with him. We both are very outgoing and were super suprised how "normal" we were.. such is that negative stereotype of online dating!! We ended up talking and texting for a few days before we met up. We had our first date at the airport because I had a trip planned. He insisted on meeting me up there before I flew out.. We communicated ALL day every day while I was gone and he picked me up from the airport when I got back into town. He told me he loved me after 3 days. Honestly I could not imaging my life without him. We are getting married this November
I'll try and post a clip I saved from the Match.com website we are practically famous LOL!!!!

kerriBB37

found it!!
*edit - it is too big

clydethecat

i signed up for eharmony on jan 1, 2006, was matched to my husband in the beginning of feb, we talked a bit, then met the first of march. we've been married for 4 years.

i think it was just meant to be. we were so closely matched, he thought the answers i was sending back to him were actually his friends screwing with him. he was very pleasantly surprised, when we first talked on the phone, that i was a real woman

i think it could have been any site, we still would have found each other.

TNTwedell

found it!!
*edit - it is too big

NO WAY! LOVE IT

Shash27

I met my fiance on Chemistry.com (sister site of Match). I didn't like the restrictions of eHarmony. We've been together for 4 years and will be married this August.

He wasn't the first guy I met..tell you friend to stick with it :-)

DS67ATX

Its so hard to meet women.Ive been single for almost 16 months now and still looking for that special woman.I have done the date service before but its gets old telling someone your life history.I think when it happens it will happen.I enjoy being single but Im looking at the same time.