Match Vs eHarmony?

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Replies

  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/02/12/hookinguprealities/the-most-attractive-women-have-the-least-casual-sex/

    Overweight women report approximately 10% more partners than normal-weight women whereas obese women report approximately 10% fewer partners.

    I am overweight & have only had one sexual partner this year ...dammit time to rethink my life :noway:

    It's only the 20th day. You're doing just fine.
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
    I just gave up and workout now.

    This exactly.
  • creativerick
    creativerick Posts: 270 Member
    I'm way late to this thread, but the correct answer here is to use all of them, but do so in a way that uses their own systems to your advantage. Join Match, fill out your profile, all of the happy stuff. Give it 90 days. If, after 90 days, you haven't found what you are looking for close that and move on to another one. The reason for this is that you always want to be the new kid in school. When you first join your profile is matched with every possible candidate. You truly are the center of attention. After 90 days you're in the pool. Being in the pool means that you and 5 kajillion other men / women are all waiting for someone new to join. Someone that you haven't already rejected. You don't want to be in the pool. Being in the pool means that you are competing with everyone else in the pool for a handful of new people. Get out of the pool. Close the account. Go somewhere else for 90 days. If you land in the pool there, you can always go back to the first place where you will be new again.

    BRB making 'new' POF profile as we speak. Will post results.


    PM me if you want to see.
  • scrapalooza
    scrapalooza Posts: 335 Member
    Glad there was no Internet when I was dating.

    I like the old fashioned way. Getting to know people through the everyday course of my life. Not typing in some parameters of what I am looking for and then getting contacted by a bunch of people that are filling out the qualities that they think people are looking for.

    Turn your computer off, look up from your cell phone and get out there. When you meet someone while you are doing the things you enjoy insure that you will meet someone that has at least one thing in common with you. Take some time. Get to know them.

    I know that it is old-fashined and doesn't move along as quickly as you might want, but there's something to be said for slowly learning about someone before you start texting, sexting, instagraming and changing your FB status.

    That would be great, but in my case, I am almost 47, have a 12 yr. old daughter, I work at home (childcare) & I homeschool my daughter. I will not go to bars. So...... how do I meet men? LOL help
  • keef1972
    keef1972 Posts: 411 Member
    Why not Plenty of Fish.....??
    At leasts it's free....??
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    I think it depends on your age and your geographical area.

    I really liked Eharmony - and met my boyfriend there. I liked that they selected your matches and sent you about 6 a day. I never went overwhelmed by the endless pages of profiles to look at. While I obviously didn't connect with everyone I found the people to be serious about meeting, all the dates went well, and I never felt creaped out.

    I found match to be an utter waste of my money. In my area it was basically a paid POF site. I got 2 emails and 1 date in 3 months. I really disliked it and wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

    Good luck.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Glad there was no Internet when I was dating.

    I like the old fashioned way. Getting to know people through the everyday course of my life. Not typing in some parameters of what I am looking for and then getting contacted by a bunch of people that are filling out the qualities that they think people are looking for.

    Turn your computer off, look up from your cell phone and get out there. When you meet someone while you are doing the things you enjoy insure that you will meet someone that has at least one thing in common with you. Take some time. Get to know them.

    I know that it is old-fashined and doesn't move along as quickly as you might want, but there's something to be said for slowly learning about someone before you start texting, sexting, instagraming and changing your FB status.

    That would be great, but in my case, I am almost 47, have a 12 yr. old daughter, I work at home (childcare) & I homeschool my daughter. I will not go to bars. So...... how do I meet men? LOL help

    I'm a big advocate of everyday life and will help you as much as possible.

    Meetup groups would be one more that could be beneficial, the Meetup demographic skews older.

    Fitness classes, the grocery store, retail stores, coffee shops, the bookstore.

    There are always friends of friends.

    There are many venues, but the one thing you'll notice if you are single and don't online date is that quantity is lower if you are not going to bars. Going to bars is a quantity play. However, better quality is out there outside of the bars, and hopefully the critical mass is there with the types of venues I suggested. You may need to spend more time away from your child, but at 12 years old, less attention is necessary than an under 10.
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    Online dating is like online pornography: it's a great way to kill time, occasionally leads to a happy ending... and if you're paying for it, you're doing it wrong.

    I've been doing OkCupid for a little over a year. Gotten a handful of dates out of it and one short-lived relationship with an opiate addict. Not too shabby.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    It's completely superficial. There is no way that we'd treat each other in the flesh like we do online. My online experience has left me believing that I'm too ugly to deserve to even look at a woman - social phobia is rising to the surface - and that I have NOTHING to offer them. I feel like one of the 'Untermensch.'
    Spinster at 39! :/
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    gym ;)
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm married and I met my husband in college, so that was a good environment to meet (although the college I went to was 70% female). I still get asked out often. Gym, yoga, dance class, places where there will be like interests, stores, art events, local dance performances and theater shows, go for local stuff where community comes together to support art in the community. Or at least that's the kind of stuff I do.

    Maybe I think this is easier because the pressure is off and I'm not trying to meet anyone. Probably I would find it much more challenging if I actually had to go on the dates.

    Online dating may work, but I think there is a lot of potential for bad matches, and people that just want to order up a partner from the internet. Even online you may even have better luck in groups of people that have similiar interests. In real life people are attracted to you on all levels, you have that immediate chemistry and interaction, using all your senses, and three dimensional interaction.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    gym ;)

    I live in the gym, trying to convince myself that a good body will help. At my age it won't.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    gym ;)

    I live in the gym, trying to convince myself that a good body will help. At my age it won't.

    My then-husband was almost 42, and met his 27 year old girlfriend at the gym. 39 isn't exactly ancient.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    gym ;)

    I live in the gym, trying to convince myself that a good body will help. At my age it won't.

    My then-husband was almost 42, and met his 27 year old girlfriend at the gym. 39 isn't exactly ancient.

    Wow! I'm going to frame this post! Not ancient! :happy:
    Although if your husband cheated on someone like yourself, let alone with somebody from the gym, then he's a ****!
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    39 isn't exactly ancient.
    Oh c'mon I got my cane and rocking chair ready for nothing.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    One thing that is VERY convenient about online dating is being able to turn away perfectly nice people who don't have your standards, interests, lifestyle, etc. For me...as an agnostic & childfree by choice college graduate in a small Midwestern city, I met dozens of sweet, funny, attractive guys in my everyday life. 90% or more of those guys were religious and either already had or wanted children. For my husband (who is also agnostic & CFBC) it was the same thing. Actually as a result he wound up in casual LDRs for many years with women outside of our geographic area. It sucked in my younger years to meet someone "cool" and then have to end it early on when he started talking about his daughter, or our future son, or how important Jesus is...
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    39 isn't exactly ancient.
    Oh c'mon I got my cane and rocking chair ready for nothing.

    I know, my Metemucil and AARP card are ready to roll.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    39 isn't even close to being ancient. I've seen women who look incredible at 50 and others who look horrible at 30. (I'm sure the same could be said for men, I just don't look at men in that light)

    Aging gracefully is important. Eat right, limit your alcohol intake, wear sunscreen, don't smoke, dress nice, and just take care of yourself. Also, don't let online dating diminish your confidence.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    39 isn't even close to being ancient. I've seen women who look incredible at 50 and others who look horrible at 30. (I'm sure the same could be said for men, I just don't look at men in that light)

    Aging gracefully is important. Eat right, limit your alcohol intake, wear sunscreen, don't smoke, dress nice, and just take care of yourself. Also, don't let online dating diminish your confidence.

    I eat clean, train hard (see profile photos), dress well, drink rarely, never smoked, no sun in England haha and online dating has scared me off women for life - you saw the photo of my only potential suitors!!!!
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    39 isn't even close to being ancient. I've seen women who look incredible at 50 and others who look horrible at 30. (I'm sure the same could be said for men, I just don't look at men in that light)

    Aging gracefully is important. Eat right, limit your alcohol intake, wear sunscreen, don't smoke, dress nice, and just take care of yourself. Also, don't let online dating diminish your confidence.

    I eat clean, train hard (see profile photos), dress well, drink rarely, never smoked, no sun in England haha and online dating has scared me off women for life - you saw the photo of my only potential suitors!!!!

    Online dating is bizarro world. My results were nearly identical to yours when I did it.

    I found that it's much easier to meet people in a gym class as oppose to just going to a gym. I use to go to YouFit, a typical $20/month chain gym. It was 90% men lifting weights and old women walking the treadmill. The place did the job, but was depressing.

    I just joined a different gym that has only HIIT classes. The demographic is close to 80% women. They're in excellent shape, friendly, and always chatty after class. I've met more women in 1 week there than in 3 years at my previous gym.

    Just something to think about.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    39 isn't even close to being ancient. I've seen women who look incredible at 50 and others who look horrible at 30. (I'm sure the same could be said for men, I just don't look at men in that light)

    Aging gracefully is important. Eat right, limit your alcohol intake, wear sunscreen, don't smoke, dress nice, and just take care of yourself. Also, don't let online dating diminish your confidence.

    I eat clean, train hard (see profile photos), dress well, drink rarely, never smoked, no sun in England haha and online dating has scared me off women for life - you saw the photo of my only potential suitors!!!!

    Online dating is bizarro world. My results were nearly identical to yours when I did it.

    I found that it's much easier to meet people in a gym class as oppose to just going to a gym. I use to go to YouFit, a typical $20/month chain gym. It was 90% men lifting weights and old women walking the treadmill. The place did the job, but was depressing.

    I just joined a different gym that has only HIIT classes. The demographic is close to 80% women. They're in excellent shape, friendly, and always chatty after class. I've met more women in 1 week there than in 3 years at my previous gym.

    Just something to think about.

    I love my gym, as it's a glorified garage full of compound lift equipment. But, it's all burly doormen. Women are terrified of setting foot in there, most men are too haha!

    My job is all men, my entire life is pretty much devoid of the chance to meet anybody. I'm starting yoga soon to stretch me out between lifts as I get older. That might open some doors for me, not that I'm going just to try and meet women, mind.

    Yeah, when online dating leaves you with nothing but Mama June Shannon lookalikes, celibacy is a better option. Sheesh, though!
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Online dating is bizarro world. My results were nearly identical to yours when I did it.

    I found that it's much easier to meet people in a gym class as oppose to just going to a gym. I use to go to YouFit, a typical $20/month chain gym. It was 90% men lifting weights and old women walking the treadmill. The place did the job, but was depressing.

    I just joined a different gym that has only HIIT classes. The demographic is close to 80% women. They're in excellent shape, friendly, and always chatty after class. I've met more women in 1 week there than in 3 years at my previous gym.

    Just something to think about.

    For sure.

    Fitness classes, regardless of the class, have great ratios. I like the HIIT style workouts, and in my experience, those classes have been typically 60-70% women. Try getting that ratio at a bar.

    I've done yoga a couple times, so my sample size on yoga is small. I didn't particularly like yoga, but the prevailing wisdom on yoga would be that the ratios would be somewhat similar to what I mentioned above.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

    Not the first time this has happened.

    Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

    Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

    Not the first time this has happened.

    Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

    Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

    I have no idea why fellas do this, it ruins the anticipation, surely? We never did this in my day, mind you it would have gone soft by the time the polaroid had developed! :laugh:
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    You're younger than the guy I got a pic from this morning. I don't understand out of nowhere pics. Establish a relationship, THEN sending pics is fine.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    You're younger than the guy I got a pic from this morning. I don't understand out of nowhere pics. Establish a relationship, THEN sending pics is fine.

    Yeah! No pics until after you've seen each other in the flesh at least.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

    Not the first time this has happened.

    Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

    Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

    Is it a selling point? Are you going to get together with him b/c he sent it?
  • lobster888
    lobster888 Posts: 861 Member
    I met my husband on match and have been very happily married for 3 years !
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

    Not the first time this has happened.

    Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

    Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

    Because he's just looking to hook up. It doesn't matter if it's with you, a 400 pound woman, a midget, or whoever. He's just looking to get laid.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    Can't we get to know each other first?
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