Match Vs eHarmony?

spoiledpuppies

I can't speak for eHarmony, but I met my husband on Match (and my friend met her husband on Match, and my boss met his wife on Match...)

When I moved to a new state, it was really just a great way to get out and meet people, and I found some friends though it too! (Note, that in the area I lived, it was really common for people to be on it. So it may not have had the stigma or pressure it may have elsewhere--also can't speak to that since I've been with my husband since moving, and he probably wouldn't appreciate me trying it out here!)

summertime_girl

So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

Not the first time this has happened.

Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

Is it a selling point? Are you going to get together with him b/c he sent it?

No. I was, but lost interest completely.

Sinisterly

So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

Not the first time this has happened.

Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

Is it a selling point? Are you going to get together with him b/c he sent it?

No. I was, but lost interest completely.

-hug-
Sorry to hear that, girl. You're gorgeous, you'll find someone <3333

PghPensFan69

So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

Not the first time this has happened.

Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

Is it a selling point? Are you going to get together with him b/c he sent it?

No. I was, but lost interest completely.

fyi My policy for sending **** pics is FULL TWO WEEKS.

summertime_girl

I'm not opposed (at all) if there is a relationship. Random and/or unsolicited is weird.

DMZ_1

So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

Not the first time this has happened.

Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

Is it a selling point? Are you going to get together with him b/c he sent it?

No. I was, but lost interest completely.

I'm sorry to hear that things happened as they did. Never fun to have a promising prospect underwhelm.

DMZ_1

So, online dating. Ugh. Anyway, random text conversations, very benign, no flirting, getting to know someone. A text or two a day for about a week. Bam, this morning, nude photo.

Not the first time this has happened.

Why do guys feel this is acceptable before there's even any hint sexual relationship? Unsolicited **** pics are a bad idea. (Even though he has a rocking body, and probably thinks it's a strong selling point).

Why guys, why? Can't we get to know each other first?

Because he's just looking to hook up. It doesn't matter if it's with you, a 400 pound woman, a midget, or whoever. He's just looking to get laid.

If that's the mindset, that sounds like a pure quantity play to me, which I don't necessarily understand.

moya_rargh

I'm not opposed (at all) if there is a relationship. Random and/or unsolicited is weird.

Try a video from a platonic friend, pleasuring herself, meant for her boyfriend, same first name as me. Yeah, it was awkward...

kiwigal41

almost all relationships end, no matter where you met them......love is an illusion.....it's all crap......

eric_sg61

almost all relationships end, no matter where you met them......love is an illusion.....it's all crap......

life is an illusion

summertime_girl

I'm not opposed (at all) if there is a relationship. Random and/or unsolicited is weird.

Try a video from a platonic friend, pleasuring herself, meant for her boyfriend, same first name as me. Yeah, it was awkward...

I hope you both can laugh about it now!

Sinisterly

I'm not opposed (at all) if there is a relationship. Random and/or unsolicited is weird.

LOL. Sorry haha..
I laughed a bit at the "random" part.
Only had that happen once, dude is now blocked.

summertime_girl

Does it actually work on any girls? I totally get that it's a hazard of online dating. I could wallpaper a room with all the photos I've gotten since signing up for online dating. But just have to know if any guy has EVER scored by sending photo like that before anything has been established? Like in the history of ever?

It would be like going on a date with the creepy flasher that keeps opening his trenchcoat downtown. I know anatomically what you've got going on down there. If we date, presumably I'll see it eventually. But you don't need to flash it first!

Sinisterly

Does it actually work on any girls? I totally get that it's a hazard of online dating. I could wallpaper a room with all the photos I've gotten since signing up for online dating. But just have to know if any guy has EVER scored by sending photo like that before anything has been established? Like in the history of ever?

It would be like going on a date with the creepy flasher that keeps opening his trenchcoat downtown. I know anatomically what you've got going on down there. If we date, presumably I'll see it eventually. But you don't need to flash it first!

Not sure. Maybe if they're already in too deep, I guess.

jsimler1

I met my husband on POF...my dad met his new wife on POF...my husband's best friend met his wife on POF...all sites have the possibility of one night stands...you just have to weed the losers out of the mix.

Marcolter

Whatever happened to mail order brides? That really worked good.

ajaxe432

Been on Match and Eharmony....Match I met some good peeps and harmony was okay. The last one stalked me for a bit and showed up at random times. That was the last time I tried either. I have fitnesspal now;)

Sinisterly

Whatever happened to mail order brides? That really worked good.

:noway: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

cgarand

I met my bf in a basement. (He played bass in a band with my brother...) I guess it doesn't matter where you meet if you are meant for each other.

Sinisterly

I met my bf in a basement. (He played bass in a band with my brother...) I guess it doesn't matter where you meet if you are meant for each other.

KINKY!!!!

eric_sg61

Does it actually work on any girls? I totally get that it's a hazard of online dating. I could wallpaper a room with all the photos I've gotten since signing up for online dating. But just have to know if any guy has EVER scored by sending photo like that before anything has been established? Like in the history of ever?

It would be like going on a date with the creepy flasher that keeps opening his trenchcoat downtown. I know anatomically what you've got going on down there. If we date, presumably I'll see it eventually. But you don't need to flash it first!

I would guess that it would of had to work at one point. or they wouldn't do it. Maybe they just wanna show off their mad photography and photoshop skillz.

asimmons221

Does it actually work on any girls? I totally get that it's a hazard of online dating. I could wallpaper a room with all the photos I've gotten since signing up for online dating. But just have to know if any guy has EVER scored by sending photo like that before anything has been established? Like in the history of ever?

It would be like going on a date with the creepy flasher that keeps opening his trenchcoat downtown. I know anatomically what you've got going on down there. If we date, presumably I'll see it eventually. But you don't need to flash it first!

Not sure. Maybe if they're already in too deep, I guess.

I'd imagine it has have had to worked once before, some where... showing a **** pic is my usual ice breaker for random strangers.

Sinisterly

Does it actually work on any girls? I totally get that it's a hazard of online dating. I could wallpaper a room with all the photos I've gotten since signing up for online dating. But just have to know if any guy has EVER scored by sending photo like that before anything has been established? Like in the history of ever?

It would be like going on a date with the creepy flasher that keeps opening his trenchcoat downtown. I know anatomically what you've got going on down there. If we date, presumably I'll see it eventually. But you don't need to flash it first!

Not sure. Maybe if they're already in too deep, I guess.

I'd imagine it has have had to worked once before, some where... showing a **** pic is my usual ice breaker for random strangers.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-insert awkward laughter-

elwing

Hubby and I met on geek 2 geek (gk2gk.com). We've been married for almost 6 years and our daughter is turning 3 tomorrow. Just be open to all of your options. Some will have great matches and some won't.

dawningr

I don't think online dating is any better/worse than meeting someone in a bar/grocery store/etc. They're just all in one place

KarenGMT

I met my husband in 2000 on another dating site (now out of business, apparently). I did go on quite a few dates with other men before I met him, though. If memory serves, not one of them was looking for a one-night stand. That being said, that was 14 years ago when Internet match-up sites were new and actually a bit frowned upon.

I think it's a great way to meet people. While I don't have a preference for either one of the two sites you mention, I am aware of scams being awfully prevalent on most dating sites these days. Whichever way your friend decides to go, please tell her to be extremely cautious, both when meeting a man (or woman--not judging!) in person or getting to know them through emails, texts, and phone calls.

MM_1982

It's completely superficial. There is no way that we'd treat each other in the flesh like we do online. My online experience has left me believing that I'm too ugly to deserve to even look at a woman - social phobia is rising to the surface - and that I have NOTHING to offer them. I feel like one of the 'Untermensch.'
Spinster at 39!

Read this article.
Apply what you've learned from reading said article.
Get back to us.

http://www.returnofkings.com/5927/how-to-get-laid-on-plenty-of-fish

moya_rargh

It's completely superficial. There is no way that we'd treat each other in the flesh like we do online. My online experience has left me believing that I'm too ugly to deserve to even look at a woman - social phobia is rising to the surface - and that I have NOTHING to offer them. I feel like one of the 'Untermensch.'
Spinster at 39!

Read this article.
Apply what you've learned from reading said article.
Get back to us.

http://www.returnofkings.com/5927/how-to-get-laid-on-plenty-of-fish

Thanks. I've read that article before. It's not for me because:

1. I'm not looking to just 'get laid'

2. My honesty is one of my few virtues. I'm not going to resort to lying about myself just to fit in with the general ebb/flow of that Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle of a site.

3. You can see from my photos on here what I look like or what 'league' (God, I hate that term, along with the whole ethos behind it) I would be sorted into.
You've also seen the ID parade of Mama June Shannon lookalikes that I'm reduced to believing I should date.
Do I REALLY want to succeed on a site where having a muscular physique comparable to a lot of men ten years my junior (sorry folks, I am allowed to be proud of my work in the gym, doesn't mean I think I'm better than anybody) still places me into the uglier than ugly bracket?

Google brings up so many stories like mine regarding that site. For the sake of my self worth and self respect, I won't be returning. The whole tone of that article is a world I want no place in.

Whatever happened to the days of two people looking at each other and treating each other as human beings rather than a list of criteria or sexual junkfood?

moya_rargh

I know that I have cripplingly low self esteem and that I need to work on myself and realise my own worth - something which I currently believe I don't have - before I start attempting to date again.

My lack of self-esteem and fear of approaching women is stuck in the following cycle:

I hate me > Therefore > They hate me > Therefore > I hate me > Therefore > They hate me > Therefore > etc.

The online thing isn't for me. It feels too contrived. I'm old fashioned in that I like to get to know people naturally rather than hoping that I (or they) 'match the advert' which in turns sets people up for disappointment. But you can't meet people in real life in your 40s!

BinaryPulsar

A couple responses to things I've read.

1) It is probably easier for a lot of people to meet a good partner if they live in or near a city that they can go to.

2) I'm not really buying this rating system. That's for people that see their partner as a status symbol or they are just looking for one night stands. The personal tastes of men are more varied. And plenty of men care about the person as a whole and how they will work in a relationship. Good looks are fine, but they do eventually change, and you need something deeper than that to actually sustain the relationship. Of course it's not either or. A person can be attractive physically and in personality. And again what personality a guy finds attractive is going to vary.

3) While I personally would not prefer online dating, I do know many people that have had great success with meeting people online. It is nice that it opens up the dating pool for a person that may be living in an area in which it is harder to meet someone of similiar interests.