Attitudes of people with different levels of fitness and wei

donna_glasgow

well I'm not "bigger" any more (i only have 21lbs to go) and I still blame the pill injection for my weight gain (and I always will) ....

sorry but when your athletic and go swimming 3-4 times a week and walk everywhere and the only change you make is to get birth control and you balloon from an 8- an 18 in 3-6 months it has to be the reason ................. Im sure a few will disagree im also sure there will be hundreds of women who do agree ........................ when I asked my doc he said it can affect weight but its not very common .. well Im one in a million haha ...........

Hambone23

I don't think fat people would be on this site trying to lose weight if they were in denial.

ASondel

I think people are so sensitive about the F-word (FAT) and push PC on everyone because they don't want to admit they are fat and actually do something about it. The term for this mass of cells we on MFP are trying to get rid of are called...wait for it.... FAT CELLS!!! Who knew?!?!? lol. I was fat when I started, still am, but am working toward my goal, trying to rid my body of the viscious cycle that is FAT. My biggest problem is that I don't eat enough... I was in a car accident resulting in a severe brain injury and a coma and one thing my brain "forgot" what to do, was tell my stomach that I'm hungry & need to eat. It doesn't even growl. I'm lucky to even get 1000 calories per day, which in return, my body holds onto those 800-1000 calories and I gain weight. IT SUCKS!!!! I have in the past, gone without eating for 3 days before I remembered, due to my memory loss.Therefore, Because I don't eat much, my stomach has shrunk, leaving me unable to eat much in one sitting. For example, even breakfast makes me feel full all day long! Any ideas? :grumble:

mfpcopine

Doesn't age play a factor into metabolism? Also gender? My bf eats about 10xs more than I do and is skinny! He also sweats while he's not even doing anything. Meaning that he is burning calories! While it takes me almost 30 min into an intense workout to break a sweat. I am overweight the only excuse I have is because I EAT too much!

Yes age definitely is a factor. So is sex, because more muscle tends to burn more calories. So, probably, is individual physiology.

You still have to do whatever you have to do to stay trim.


I agree with the person who said sweating is not necessarily an indicator of the ability to burn calories, although you should be working out hard enough to perspire. You just have to gather data about yourself and see how you do. Get a heart rate monitor as someone suggested. Get a scale that provides a fat percentage estimator. Get a blood pressure cuff. Take your measurements monthly.

If you want to keep it simple as I do, focus on logging your food calories. Calorie reduction is most of weight loss. I wouldn't worry about trying to figure out the calorie burn from exercise. Just do the exercise and be realistic about how much you need. Pay attention to your data. Are you losing weight? Or fat? Is your BP improving? Your resting heart rate?

mousepaws22

Hmm, agree and disagree. First, I don't like the word fat, even though I am fat, but I don't like the word skinny either. I wouldn't call someone fat and I wouldn't call someone skinny, as I think they both have negative connotations and I think it's rude.

I'm overweight through a combination of being lazy (I never learnt how to cook and I don't enjoy exercise) and comfort eating. I have a stressful and upsetting family life and have always eaten to make myself feel better. I don't really understand comfort eating but I've still always done adn don't know how I will break the cycle.

But, I do think there is something in the metabolism, genetics argument for some people. I put on weight very easily and quickly, and I lose weight with great difficulty. In 10 months I have lost 27 pounds. At the start of this year I started working with a trainer who changed my diet and exercise routine. I haven't lost any weight. I'm confused, she's confused, my Doctor is confused. I've been tested for medical reasons as to why I can't lose weight twice and they can't find anything, my Doctor actually said I have a very slow metabolism. My trainer has also told me that she does think that genetics play a part. I'm not trying to make excuses because I know that I don't eat 100% perfectly all of the time, and I know that I could do more exercise but I don't do well with being restricted and I find it hard to motivate myself to exercise as I don't enjoy it. That's my choice at the end of the day but I eat better and do more exercise then a lot of people I know. When I was being more strict with my diet and exercise last month than I have been this month, I still didn't lose any weight.

Yes, there probably are a lot of people who do make excuses but I do think that these things do affect some poeple. There's only one person in my family who doesn't struggle with his weight and he takes after his father rather than his mother (my aunt).

donna_glasgow

I think people are so sensitive about the F-word (FAT) and push PC on everyone because they don't want to admit they are fat and actually do something about it. The term for this mass of cells we on MFP are trying to get rid of are called...wait for it.... FAT CELLS!!! Who knew?!?!? lol. I was fat when I started, still am, but am working toward my goal, trying to rid my body of the viscious cycle that is FAT. My biggest problem is that I don't eat enough... I was in a car accident resulting in a severe brain injury and a coma and one thing my brain "forgot" what to do, was tell my stomach that I'm hungry & need to eat. It doesn't even growl. I'm lucky to even get 1000 calories per day, which in return, my body holds onto those 800-1000 calories and I gain weight. IT SUCKS!!!! I have in the past, gone without eating for 3 days before I remembered, due to my memory loss.Therefore, Because I don't eat much, my stomach has shrunk, leaving me unable to eat much in one sitting. For example, even breakfast makes me feel full all day long! Any ideas? :grumble:

you could try making yourself up a tub of nuts dried fruits n seeds at the start of each day and sit it on your table to pick at during the day, that way your not having to think about cooking ... These foods are good for you and high in cals for a little food.

I recently started this (after someone suggested it to me on this site) as I was having problems reaching 1200 cals (I also feel full very quickly) ... hope this helps

mfpcopine

I once took a medication that caused me to gain weight. It clearly had a metabolic effect. I was processing food differently and I had no energy to exercise, which the doctor suggested. It was an elective drug, so after doing some research on the web that included discussion by other doctors saying that their patients were depressed by the weight gain side effect, I told my doctor that I was going off it. One of the best decisions I've ever made.

I would be obese if I'd stayed on that drug. Whenever I take a new drug, I always look at the SEs.

None of the overweight people I know are in that condition because of medication. The people I know eat/ate too much, or they eat/ate the wrong things. After a certain point, it doesn't seem to take much to maintain the overweight.

lsapphire

Have you tried making a schedule (with posted reminders) to eat 2-3 hundred well balanced calories several times a day. Your stomach will adjust with time to accomodate the change.

madamepsychosis

I think most people I've met on this site are very matter of fact and know their bad eating and exercise habits are what have caused them to become overweight. That said, I do see the 'you're skinny, you can't possibly know how hard this is' argument thrown around on here a lot, which really pisses me off. I've never had 100lbs to lose and have never professed to, but the assumption that someone who is thinner doesn't have to work hard annoys me. Not only because I'm sure there are a lot of people who were obese and are now reaching their goals, but also because I know how hard I work and don't want anyone telling me otherwise. We all have different goals, but we're all in this together and I think undermining someone's efforts because they're bigger is just as bad as undermining someone for being smaller.

That said, I have met a lot of people outside of MFP who are very quick to come out with excuses as to why they are the size they are. 'It's my metabolism.', 'It's my thyroid.', 'My whole family is big.', 'I don't have time to work out or cook healthy food.' etc etc. I don't have much weight to lose, but I've got to the point where people have started to notice I have. Most people are very supportive and complimentary, but there are one or two people who, when they ask how I've done it, seem to immediately switch off when I tell them I just ate better and got a gym membership. It's like they don't want to hear that it's a hard graft and want me to tell them about some magic pill or fad diet that makes you lose 10lbs in a week.

LaylaSparkles

I really like this Thread it has a lot of truth to it and it shows how different our cultures can be at times. In England most people tell it like it is....or that is my experience anyway. I was married to an englishman and am now dating another one even though I am from Canada. North America has a hard time taking responsibility for our obesity epidemic.

FAT is fat, no matter how you wrap it up in pretty words and until someone accepts that and looks at what changes need to be made in their lives they will stay FAT.

Thanks everyone for their informative posts here. I often feel the same way.

grinch031

Why do people continue to deny the truth about dieting?

http://newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/Dieting-Does-Not-Work-UCLA-Researchers-7832.aspx

The cause and treatment of obesity are two different things. It makes no sense that people overeat because of psychological or moral defects. It does make sense that people are genetically predisposed to gaining weight while eating food that is completely unnatural to them.

The idea that behavior changes are an effective treatment for obesity are wrong. The majority of dieters will eventually fail because their bodily hormones are much more powerful than their willpower. I'll admit, this treatment is all we got, but it is not going to help everybody.

Art63

I'm American and you can say "fat" anytime you want. No offense taken here. The person who started this thread makes good points. I have not spent much time on the forums but it makes sense what he said. People who succeed in losing weight obviously know what works.

If you'll pardon a little rambling here's a story from my college days that illustrates the author's point. Our psychology professor was doing research on the perceptions of weight. He had his students fill out questionnaires. At that time I was thin and had always been thin. Questions such as "Do you eat when you are bored, do you eat when you are depressed, do you eat as a reward, etc?" seemed ridiculous to me. Of course I don't eat when I'm bored, depressed, or as a reward. I eat when I'm hungry or because dinner is served. NOW, years later when I did get fat I thought back to those questions and would answer them totally different. My answers would all be yes instead of no.

So, yes, there probably is a correlation between what we write and how successful we've been at losing weight. Good observation.

libby328

I think people are so sensitive about the F-word (FAT) and push PC on everyone because they don't want to admit they are fat and actually do something about it. The term for this mass of cells we on MFP are trying to get rid of are called...wait for it.... FAT CELLS!!! Who knew?!?!? lol. I was fat when I started, still am, but am working toward my goal, trying to rid my body of the viscious cycle that is FAT. My biggest problem is that I don't eat enough... I was in a car accident resulting in a severe brain injury and a coma and one thing my brain "forgot" what to do, was tell my stomach that I'm hungry & need to eat. It doesn't even growl. I'm lucky to even get 1000 calories per day, which in return, my body holds onto those 800-1000 calories and I gain weight. IT SUCKS!!!! I have in the past, gone without eating for 3 days before I remembered, due to my memory loss.Therefore, Because I don't eat much, my stomach has shrunk, leaving me unable to eat much in one sitting. For example, even breakfast makes me feel full all day long! Any ideas? :grumble:

Without having brain damage I am the same way about "forgetting to eat" but not to the extreme of 3 days its more like I never have breakfast , I eat a small lunch and have to force myself to eat dinner! I did suffer from anorexia from ages 14- 24 and still struggle everyday! I have a friend who is over weight (not obese) just heavy, I was talking to her about getting in shape and although she went to the gym 6 days a week all she did was walk on the treadmill. No jogging, weight lifting or even watching her diet! My dad and his whole family say they are diabetic because of genes... Well bs cause my dad has 5 kids and every single one of us knowing what diabetes does made the choice to be healthier . I think fit people are more no nonsense because they know being in shape is a lifestyle not a quick fix!

purplep41n

Ok as an overweight/FAT person being told just eat less and exercise more is not helpful. We have a total mess going on in our heads and losing weight is much much more than the physical aspect.

We have probably got to this point due to levels of unhappiness that we can't even comprehend anymore ourselves. Just like those that get too thin and anorexic. Something has gone wrong in our heads to make us like this.

And we don't want to admit to it! But now I am in a position to say:

I HURT MYSELF WITH FOOD

and I now want to stop FOREVER.

On the other hand:

I do think a lot of us have messed up our bodies with quick weight loss schemes.

I noticed something interesting (not good interesting I'll add) when I went to the US last year. I lost a lot of weight before I went and in the first week there I continued with keeping myself active and kept to my diet. However I was having American diet food rather than English diet food which was so much sweeter I noted thus I rarely finished foods and drinks. Some days I only ate small amounts or packets of beef jerky because all you could get was junk food in Disney World. Either way I followed Slimming World in the first week. I put on 7 pounds!

Yes, we are less active nowadays. However there is a lot of weird food in our diets now which I think mess with our brains and bodies which do not help.

chrishgt4

I don't think fat people would be on this site trying to lose weight if they were in denial.

That's the thing though - they are - they are trying to lose weight but are going to struggle as long as they try to blame external sources.

It takes a change in mentality - I know the OP knows all about it, and ask anyone on here who has seriously made a change - they will tell you straight that they thought it was because of x, y and z that they weren't losing weight, then as soon as they got their head around it they realised it was them all along.

The metabolism argument makes me laugh as well. Sure, there probably are exceptions out there, and it slows as you get older also. But not be the degrees some people like to believe.

Also, the heavier you are, the higher your metabolism actually will be, since it is not only muscle that metabolises energy, but fat as well. Also the muscles are having to work harder to carry the extra weight around.

StarvingDiva

I actually am not in denial about my weight and I have never been called fat to my face, I'm sure that if someone did call me fat to my face it would really hurt my feelings because I know it's true and it's just rude, I'm not a big PC person, but I'm also not into hurting peoples feelings for no reason, people who are fat know they are fat even if you think they are in denial.

One thing I know about my life is it is a journey and it's a process, I have mental blocks about things that I have to work through. I just recently wrote on my blog about the Vogue article of the woman who put her 7 year old on a diet and berated her for things she ate (despite her mom was the one buying it). Anyhow, this brought up how watching my mom diet and talk bad about herself, shaped my idea about food and shape, I hid food until I was 28 years old and it was an arduous process to get out of it. Some may think how hard can it be, but if it's nothing you've experienced, I am here to tell you it was hard. I lived alone and still hid food. I don't anymore, but it was hard to break the habit.

I also have a mental block on a size 12. I don't know why, but when I get down there, I start to self sabotage. This is another journey where I am going to have to hunker down and however long it takes me to break through it I will.

Maybe I am a weak person, but I recognize my issues with food and I am working my *kitten* off to get through them. I don't care how long it takes me. I work out 6 days a week and write down everything I eat, even if it's bad, even if I go over calories. I refuse to blind myself to it.

So while I don't blame it on metabolism and I do have a syndrome that makes me insulin resistant (although not diabetic) so it is harder, I DO have issues that I recognize and am actively working through to get what I want.

And while you may see someone on the street that you deem "fat" doesn't mean you know ANYTHING about the struggles they are going through, mentally, or physically, so I really try not to prejudge people by looks alone.

lkcuts

I was adopted at 5 months old. I always have been big boned and I have always loved to eat. My adoptive parents were not health nuts, but they did tell me when I had ate more than I needed by telling me "Thats enough jelly, or no you can't have seconds" etc.. I walked everywhere, but still in teenage years was about 30 pounds over weight. thank God I am tall (5'9). when I left home my eating habits changed and over the years I have gained up to 270 but never went below 188. I finally met my blood sisters and they, being raised on a farm are short and as round as they are tall.My whole family is big. It started making sense to me why I struggled so much.
The point being,we were raised in different households and we ALL had weight problems. So I tend to believe there IS a "fat gene" that is in our DNA . That being said, thats how God made me and I had to accept that I cannot eat like thinner people who do not have a weight problem. NO EXCUSES...of my family was big and just give up,but taking the bull by the horns.
I could not figure out for a long time why, once I lost the weight, I always gained it back. I kept thinking once you get it off it should automatically stay off, that I would no longer get fat again. Years of struggleing,trying different diets ,killling myself at the gym etc. I have finally found my answer through this MFP site.
I was never taught about nutrition and how much I need to eat etc. I useally just starved myself and over time its made its toll.
back at my almost highest weight, I have started using portions and being able to monitor it through this site, has helped me stay within my limits without denying myself.
I came to the realization, by seeing someone in a motor chair, in the store one day. She was younger than me. She had knee problems and could not walk..I looked at her..she was very obese. I knew, right then if I didn't do something about my weight i was going to be there . I already am experiencing knee, back and joint problems as I get older. I find if I can get through the pain on the elipitical ,my circulation has been better, I have some pain, but not as intense as I get stronger. I DO believe its a mind set..you have to get mad and DO IT!! Thanks to this site I am on my way. Thank you MFP!!!:flowerforyou:

mfpcopine

I agree that metabolism is often thrown around as the sole cause of obesity / being overweight.


I think its simply coming down to the fact that those that are fit or have reach their ideal weight / body shape have put in the effort to understand the concepts that underlie weight loss: nutrition and exercise.

It often probably takes a while for someone who's never considered these concepts to actually to consider that they play a role in why they are where they are, and possibly even longer to sit through and go down the learning pathway that others who have lost weight have done before them.


... also be prepared for potential flare-ups with this post

Some people don't know what they don't know. I was talking to an obese member of my family who was criticizing me for supposedly being "obsessive." (Yes, I do have to pay attention, given m age, size, height, and sex).

I asked: What do you think my ordinary daily calorie maximum is?

The response was 2,000.

In fact, it's more like 1,000 to 1,200 if I'm sedentary.


Incidentally, there are serious medical reasons why it's in my interest to maintain my weight. People in my family have had Type 2 Diabetes, Stroke, Vascular Dementia, all conditions that are associated with being overweight. A doctor once told me that even if I were genetically predisposed to get Diabetes, it would never be a negative for me to be trim. Being overweight puts more stress on your body.

chrishgt4

I think most people I've met on this site are very matter of fact and know their bad eating and exercise habits are what have caused them to become overweight. That said, I do see the 'you're skinny, you can't possibly know how hard this is' argument thrown around on here a lot, which really pisses me off. I've never had 100lbs to lose and have never professed to, but the assumption that someone who is thinner doesn't have to work hard annoys me. Not only because I'm sure there are a lot of people who were obese and are now reaching their goals, but also because I know how hard I work and don't want anyone telling me otherwise. We all have different goals, but we're all in this together and I think undermining someone's efforts because they're bigger is just as bad as undermining someone for being smaller.

That said, I have met a lot of people outside of MFP who are very quick to come out with excuses as to why they are the size they are. 'It's my metabolism.', 'It's my thyroid.', 'My whole family is big.', 'I don't have time to work out or cook healthy food.' etc etc. I don't have much weight to lose, but I've got to the point where people have started to notice I have. Most people are very supportive and complimentary, but there are one or two people who, when they ask how I've done it, seem to immediately switch off when I tell them I just ate better and got a gym membership. It's like they don't want to hear that it's a hard graft and want me to tell them about some magic pill or fad diet that makes you lose 10lbs in a week.

This last line is so spot on - I have friends who keep coming back to me asking for advice and act all interested but really they are waiting for that magic secret that I'm going to spill that will mean they can get fit in a week.

No, sorry, it is a long hard road - just like it was a long road that led you there it will be a long one back. But it's worth it...

original_cake_face

I notice that fitter / correct weight people seem to have a more no-nonsense approach - to get fit you exercise , lots , and eat less because you are overweight because you eat too much.

Overweight people seem to be constantly in denial and bringing up health and metabolism issues that are, whilst unfortunate in those they affect, rarely the true reason that is eating too much. The word 'fat' on here almost seems to be a massive insult

First, let's not make blanket statements. I'm 300lbs. I know how I got here: I sat on my *kitten*, and wanted to eat myself to death because I was depressed. Did I gain weight because my daddy abused me and my mommy never hugged me? Is it their fault? No. It's mine for letting myself slide like that. I certainly don't think my many mental health issues did me any good in terms of weight gain, but I own up to it. I know what I need to do, and I'm doing it. I'm not fit by any means, but I exercise every other day and eat well. We're all here for a reason. Some people still make excuses and lie on their diaries and fudge numbers because they aren't ready to lose the weight yet. Some people (such as myself) log every miserable binge calorie, and then push on to do better the next day. No crying. No whining. No excuses. Just doing what I need to do.

Interestingly enough I'm English and find American posters on here (in a country with more obesity) very quickly flare up at the use of the fat word. As do the larger posters (I admit I am judging this from profile pictures) you wont see a toned person defending metabolism as a major cause of obesity - even if they once weighed 20 stone

The problem with the word "fat" is it's often what we were taunted with in school.. or, hell, even as an adult walking through the grocery store. It can be a derogatory word, depending on tone. It's very hard to tell tone through text.