Favorite CLEAN jokes?

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  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
  • Lotte34
    Lotte34 Posts: 429 Member
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    One snowman turns to the other and says, "Can you smell carrots?"
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
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    One snowman turns to the other and says, "Can you smell carrots?"

    That's Funny!!!!!
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
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    My grandfather was a very wise man, I remember his last words to me...
    "Oh my goodness, a bus"


    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandmother not screaming and yelling like the other people in the car with her.


    HA! Love it!
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
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    <~~~~Having a difficult time stifling my giggles and snorts while working!
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
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    I saw a man standing beside the road holding a sign that said "Will work for food" so I gave him a coconut.
  • LavaDoll
    LavaDoll Posts: 595 Member
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    When's the best time to go to the dentist?









    Two-Thirty.
  • whiskey9890
    whiskey9890 Posts: 652 Member
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    what do you call a fly with no wings?




    a walk
  • Wen37
    Wen37 Posts: 218 Member
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    2 potatoes are walking down the street, how do you know which is the prostitute?







    The one with the sticker that says "Idaho"

    Love it :))))))))
  • tdmcmains
    tdmcmains Posts: 227 Member
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    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    Lean beef.



    What do you call a how with no legs?

    Ground beef.
  • jagar07
    jagar07 Posts: 330 Member
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    Imagine reading this in an irish accent....lol Why did the Irish men nly put 239 beans in their bean sooup?






    Because if they put in 1 more It would be 2 FARTY :D:D
  • Abells
    Abells Posts: 756 Member
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    A scientist walks into a bar and says to the bartender: 'I'd like a cool glass of H2O please'.

    The guy sat next to him - wanting to appear smart - says: 'I'll have a glass of H20 too'.

    His funeral is on Monday.

    buahahhahha
  • alyson820
    alyson820 Posts: 448 Member
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    wanna hear a joke about cats?

    just kitten!
  • Wen37
    Wen37 Posts: 218 Member
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    Ha ha ha ha..........................................
    Columbia South Carolina Headline News....

    Tornado rips through local cemetary. Thousands dead!
  • johnny_k
    johnny_k Posts: 150 Member
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    Imagine reading this in an irish accent....lol Why did the Irish men nly put 239 beans in their bean sooup?






    Because if they put in 1 more It would be 2 FARTY :D:D
    [/quote
  • Lissakaye81
    Lissakaye81 Posts: 224 Member
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    A little boy is staring at a wall in his churched covered with plaques and pictures to commemorate soldiers. The pastor sees the boy tells him not to be sad, that all the men and women on the wall died bravely in the service. The little boys eyes get real wide and he asks "Was it the 10 am service?"

    What does a dyslexic atheist insomniac do at night?





    wonders if there really is a DOG
  • deabora
    deabora Posts: 20 Member
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    What day does an egg hate most?











    Fryday.
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
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    Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

    LOVE IT!! Favorite one so far!

    JM
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    your mom
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender makes it up, hands it to him, and says, "For you, no charge."

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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