Favorite CLEAN jokes?

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  • Pengi81
    Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
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    A hunter has been in the woods for over and hour, with no luck

    He decides to slump off home, dejected, when he suddenly comes across a gorgeous, buxom naked blonde sat on a log in the clearing. "Well hey there big boy" she called out.

    Liking what he sees he replies "ooh, are you game?"

    "You bet I am, handsome!"

    BANG...

    (my favourite joke ever!)
  • sjeagle30
    sjeagle30 Posts: 292 Member
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    2 peanuts were walking down a dark alley........one was assulted :tongue:
  • tobafa
    tobafa Posts: 344 Member
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    A blind man mistakenly walks into an all female bar. He walks up to the counter, orders a drink and asks loudly "anybody wanna hear a blonde joke?" The large woman seated next to him says "buddy, I gotta warn you. I'm a professional power lifter and I'm a blonde. The bartender is blonde and has a baseball bat behind the counter. The woman to your right just got out of prison for nearly beating a guy like you to death and she's a blonde. My other friend here? She's a heavy weight MMA fighter, also a blonde. The woman standing behind you drives trucks for a living and rides bucking bulls for fun. She's a blonde. You sure you wanna tell that blonde joke?" The man thinks for a moment then says "thanks for the warning. I'd hate to have to explain it five times..."

    bud um bum.. :D
  • janenightingale
    janenightingale Posts: 55 Member
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    What's the difference between pink and purple?












    Grip
  • tobafa
    tobafa Posts: 344 Member
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    What's the difference between pink and purple?

    This one I like. :D












    Grip
  • Pengi81
    Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
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    I've just remembered one of my other fave jokes!

    What should a Scottish person do if they find a trumpet growing in their garden?

    They should root it out! (or when said in Scottish accent "Root it oot" ergo "Rootytoot!")
  • maryduggins
    maryduggins Posts: 219 Member
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    What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?










    Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup!!!:bigsmile:
  • mandrox1
    mandrox1 Posts: 33
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    What do you call a Pig with no legs?



    A GROUNDHOG! hahahhahaha (yes I'm a dork)
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    If you're Asian when you walk into the bathroom, and you're African when you walk out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?








    European!
  • maryduggins
    maryduggins Posts: 219 Member
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    If you're Asian when you walk into the bathroom, and you're African when you walk out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?








    European!


    aaaaaaaahahahahahaha that's good(;
  • Spruillie03
    Spruillie03 Posts: 155 Member
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    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    To.
    To who?
    To WHOM! Learn your grammar!


    The past, the present and the future walk into a bar....... it was tense.


    What do you call a dog with no legs?
    It doesn't matter. He's not going to come anyway.

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