Favorite CLEAN jokes?
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As a blonde I really think that I have heard every blonde joke in the book, I can't help but love this one:
A blondes house is on fire so she calls 911. She says "Help! My house is on fire!" and the firefighters say "how do we get there?" and the blonde says "duh... big red truck!"
:laugh:0 -
AWESOME....I'll remember this one :laugh:2 potatoes are walking down the street, how do you know which is the prostitute?
The one with the sticker that says "Idaho"0 -
What do ninjas like to drink?
WAH-TAH!0 -
What happens when you swallow bullets
You grow bangs0 -
I had to google it, told this joke to my dad and fell off the couch laughing.....
Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged.
One Texan turned to the other and said, “That little gal is havin‘ a bad time. I’m agonna go over there and help.”
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his hands and asked “Kin ya swaller?”
Gasping, she shook her head "no."
He asked, “Kin ya breathe?”
Still gasping, she again shook her head “No."
With that he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and licked her backside. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the bit of hamburger that was stuck and began to breathe on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, “Ya know, it’s sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works!”
I legitimately just died laughing at work :laugh:0 -
its a proven fact that cannibals wont eat clowns... do you know why ????
They taste "funny"0 -
I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell... except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.
(steven wright)0 -
How do you make a kleenex dance? PUT A LITTLE BOOGIE IN IT. :laugh:0
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What do you call a lady with one leg?
Lena.
What do you call her when she gets a wooden leg?
Peggy.
What do you call her when someone saws off the tip of her wooden leg?
Eileen
And where does Eileen work?
IHOP
(ok an old groaner!)0 -
What do you call 100 rabbits in a line walking backwards?
A receding hare line0 -
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.” The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.” Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!” “I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.” Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!” There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”0
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick!0 -
Why are pirates always angry?
They just AAARRR!
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*Knock Knock*
"Who's there"
"Daisy"
"Daisy Who??"
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"Daisy me rollinnnn, they hatinnnnnn, tryin to catch me ridin dirtyyyyy"0 -
Bump! I cant wait to read these I need a good laugh!0
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*Knock Knock*
"Who's there"
"Daisy"
"Daisy Who??"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Daisy me rollinnnn, they hatinnnnnn, tryin to catch me ridin dirtyyyyy"
I LOVE THIS!!!! I'M GOING TO USE THIS ALL DAY TODAY!0 -
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station0 -
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left....
- bison!0 -
cute0
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On this cruise ship is a captain with his parrot. Everyday they go and watch a magician give his show to the patrons on the ship. Soon the parrot learns all the magician's tricks and starts giving them away. Telling people stuff like "the dove is hiding behind the flap in his hat" and "he switched it to his other hand" One night they hit a bad storm and the ship sinks. The parrot and magician are stuck stareing at each other floating on a board. After a long silence the parrot finally says "OK, I give up, what did you do with the ship?"0
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