Favorite CLEAN jokes?

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  • amberiam
    amberiam Posts: 55 Member
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    My all time favorite stupid/clean joke...

    What kind of cheese isn't yours?

    Nacho cheese!
  • hisgirl86
    hisgirl86 Posts: 142 Member
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    This is my husbands favorite joke of all time...

    Two camels walking through the desert. One looks at the other and says " I don't care what people say, I'm thirsty!!"
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its
    cruising altitude, the Captain announced:
    'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.
    Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to
    Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth,
    uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and... OH, MY GOD!'

    Silence followed!

    Some moments later the Captain came back on the PA;
    'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to
    you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my
    lap. You should see the front of my pants!'


    One Newfie passenger yelled,
    'lord tunderen jezis, you should see the back of mine!
  • gsheasley
    gsheasley Posts: 1,046 Member
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    Did you hear about the fire at the circus?








    It was intense/in tents
  • gsheasley
    gsheasley Posts: 1,046 Member
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    Why was Peter Plan always flying?









    Because he can Never Land!
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    There was a boy born in the states with no eyelids. Unfortunately, no surgeons knew what to do. They flew him over to Asia to get an emergency surgery. They ended up taking skin from his pecker and using it to create eyelids.

    He'll be okay, he's just a little c*ckeyed.
  • JBApplebee
    JBApplebee Posts: 481 Member
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    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?


    A stick


    What's the name for the sex change operation going from a woman to a man?


    An addadiktome

    The surgery for the other diresction?


    Lopitoffame
  • tracferg
    tracferg Posts: 31 Member
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    2 potatoes are walking down the street, how do you know which is the prostitute?







    The one with the sticker that says "Idaho"

    Love it!
  • AActon28
    AActon28 Posts: 32
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    How do you tell if a chromosome is male or female?

    You pull down its genes.
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
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    Mine:

    Why do gorillas have big nostrils?













    Because they have big fingers!

    :laugh: :laugh:



    JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEM! Stop explaining your jokes! lol They are funny!

    Good one! :laugh:
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
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    Do you know why a divorce is expensive???









    Because it's worth it!
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    Do you know why a divorce is expensive???









    Because it's worth it!

    :drinker: I hear that!
  • ❤lindsay❤dawn❤
    ❤lindsay❤dawn❤ Posts: 443
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    *bumping to read later becasue My Co-Workers think I've gone insane from giggling*
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 466 Member
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    this is not so clean but it cracked me the hell up!


    demotivational-posters-was-it-anal.jpg
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    A family of tomatoes was walking down the street.. the baby tomato was constantly lagging behind at store windows. Daddy tomato was so mad he went back to baby tomato and squished him. and said..

    That'll make you Ketchup (Catch up)

    I laughed when the girl told that in Pulp Fiction
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
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    LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!

    Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.

    A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
    The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
    The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
    One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"
  • reaolliemama
    reaolliemama Posts: 489 Member
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    A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer...

    The bartender throws the string out saying; "We don't serve strings here!"

    The string thinks for a minute, ties itself in a knot and teases it's ends and walks back into the bar and orders a beer.

    The bartender says: "Hey, aren't you that string I just threw out of here?"

    String replies: " Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"
  • camelotss
    camelotss Posts: 55
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    Some of these are so funny :laugh:
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
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    LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!

    Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.

    A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
    The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
    The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
    One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"

    That just killed me, I can't breathe hahahahah :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 466 Member
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    LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!

    Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.

    A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
    The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
    The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
    One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"

    That just killed me, I can't breathe hahahahah :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    *scratches head* I don't get it.

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