Having Babies is no Excuse

BondBomb

Ladies ladies...for all of those that were offended by the OP's 'style' there are many pages of women that found it motivating.
I respond well to the 'get off your *kitten* and stop making excuses mentality'. I was using pregnancy and a baby as a reason to stay heavier than I really wanted to be. I am not anymore. And I am starting to look and feel really good.
The OP's post was really targeting those like me...and I wasn't offended.
So if her style of motivation isnt for you..move on.

The way I see it.

OP...Challenge Accepted! <---In my best Barney Stintson voice

coconutbuNZ

But for those that seem to have poor reading comprehensive skills, I think I will state things a little clearer so even those people can understand.

That being said, I did find your above comment a little offensive to our fellow MFPs. Just because they don't agree with you does not mean they have poor reading comprehension skills. They simply have a different opinion than you. These women already feel insulted and your "clarification" post seemed more of a talking down to them then anything.

Sorry, just my two cents.

So, I guess you have no problem with them calling me a bully, mightier than thou, bragging, rude, gloating, preachy, hurtful, cruel. I was kind and even offered one a girl an "olive branch" saying that I understood her frustration! Guess what, she still came back to insult me more.

Again, this is HOW I felt. I even got angry at my husband because he did not have to carry 6 kids in his body, he did not get stretch marks on his tummy, he did not have to lose 60lbs 6 times!! Yes, these were defeating me!! Why should I even bother to work hard if I can never get my pre baby body back? Why work hard when I will still have loose skin and stretch marks on my tummy and it looks like an elderly grandmother's tummy? I had 6 kids! Who does that??? These were my thoughts!!

So to those that do not understand my frustration that I was having, chances are, you never felt like that. AND so, my post comes off to you as preachy. To the other moms that felt the same way...they get it. They understand using that excuse as many moms have stated on here!

And yes, we are on here to get healthier and more fit. But, we still will have our ups and downs while we are on here. Read through the posts seeing that other moms said that they needed to read this!! Goodness, I needed to read this around 2 months ago when I was frustrated with my tummy skin!!! I will need to read this in a few months when I get frustrated again. I will post on my home wall my frustrations, and my MFP girls will help me and inspire me to stay strong....they will slap me back into reality!!!

I am by no means Jillian Michaels and would never compare myself to her...but is she sometimes harsh on the people she trains? Does she yell at them to get through to them...to keep them going?? Sometimes we need it!! I need a kick to say, GIRL, KEEP GOING!!! So what that you are 42 and have 6 kids...BE YOUR BEST!!!

YES MA'M! :laugh:

Cpuff70

Thanks for the nice posts and for the ladies that understand what I was saying. Considering that most of the posts on my thread and the personal letters from FR and PM are from moms that understand what my point was, I think that I stated everything very clearly. And considering that this is the thread that I started, I can write as many paragraphs as I choose.

But for those that seem to have poor reading comprehensive skills, I think I will state things a little clearer so even those people can understand.

IF you are a mom that told yourself that you can not lose the weight because you have had kids. This post is for you. BECAUSE, I told myself this. I told myself that because I just had my 6th kid at age 39, that there was no way that I would ever lose the weight. I had too many kids that destroyed my body and I was older. THOSE WERE MY EXCUSES!! IF you told yourself the same thing....this thread was to speak to you. This thread was to encourage you to not give up.

ALSO, I NEVER SAID THAT YOU WILL HAVE MY RESULTS. I showed pictures to show my improvement and to encourage these same moms to become THEIR best...not to look like me.

IF you are a mom that has never used the excuse that you can not lose weight or get fit because you have kids, then guess what, this post WAS NOT FOR YOU! So move on and stop calling me names and being rude and hateful.

Also, there are moms that are on here and then get discouraged....read the posts and threads and you can see it...we come on here to get strength from each other and to learn from each other. There have been many woman that have posted on here and have sent me PM and FR, they said that my thread inspired them to stick to it and to keep on doing their best.

And yes, the REASON why I was overweight was because I gained 60lbs with my last pregnancy at age 39. BUT, I was no longer going to let that be an EXCUSE to keep this weight on...and even if i could not exercise, I could eat better and eat healthier...that does not take any time or energy.

wait, did you just use kids as an excuse to settle for "ok"?

OK...that was good, I like that!!

Bravo! As a mom of 3 who also made this excuse, I get it & even though I have dropped that mindset & I am on my journey to fabulosity I still thank you for your original post. Congrats on your success, you are an inspiration.

va_va_voom

I just want to say that I got my hair cut on Friday and the stylist (I went to a new one) gasped when I told her that my youngest child was 11 weeks old. She asked me how I managed to look as good as I do with such a young baby at home...and it totally made me think of this thread!

That said, I don't think I look as good as I could/should - even for having an 11 week old baby at home. So, this thread is my inspiration and motivation to keep on keeping on and shed the rest of the pounds! You know...the ones I can't blame on the baby b/c I already lost all my pregnancy weight.

God bless!

jamaicanlady

Ladies ladies...for all of those that were offended by the OP's 'style' there are many pages of women that found it motivating.
I respond well to the 'get off your *kitten* and stop making excuses mentality'. I was using pregnancy and a baby as a reason to stay heavier than I really wanted to be. I am not anymore. And I am starting to look and feel really good.
The OP's post was really targeting those like me...and I wasn't offended.
So if her style of motivation isnt for you..move on.

The way I see it.

OP...Challenge Accepted! <---In my best Barney Stintson voice

THIS ^^^ times 10!

Malaika946

Inspiring post!

Daydreams406

...........

Again, my thread is for moms that used this excuse for keeping on their baby weight or for not being able to get fit again. If you never used this excuse, then this post will mean nothing to you and you won't "get it" Obviously a lot of other moms "got it"!

Then perhaps you should have just stated that in the beginning. Instead of using a blanket statement and assumption.
You sure use a lot of words to "defend" yourself lol. All your "positive" energy just gets lost in them. JMO.

Daydreams406

But for those that seem to have poor reading comprehensive skills, I think I will state things a little clearer so even those people can understand.
...........

Hmmm....oh yes you definitely sound like someone i want to take advice from. Such intolerance to anyone who has a different opinion then your own...wow

IF you are a mom that has never used the excuse that you can not lose weight or get fit because you have kids, then guess what, this post WAS NOT FOR YOU! So move on and stop calling me names and being rude and hateful.

Then you should have just stated THIS in the beginning instead of acting like ALL women blame their children for what is clearly their issue. Maybe you should just admit that you could have reworded your original post better instead of leaving such long rambling replies trying to justify what you wrote.

Also, there are moms that are on here and then get discouraged....read the posts and threads and you can see it...we come on here to get strength from each other and to learn from each other. There have been many woman that have posted on here and have sent me PM and FR, they said that my thread inspired them to stick to it and to keep on doing their best.

I do read them, that is why I read them. Your post however I did not find inspiring (as did some others) I found it offensive. Some of us stated that and why....you are the one that got all bent about the dissenting opinions. You are the one that should let it go.
Instead you practically break your arm patting yourself on the back here, and insulting us by implying that we are less intelligent than yourself, since we could not possibly understand what you wrote.....pot...this is kettle....you're black.

BTW...never called you any names...what are we? 8th graders? What names? Just opening up discussion and you are getting your feelings hurt because we don't agree that your post is inspiring.

libby328

My profile pic was taken about 5 months after my second son was born! That's my tag line "had a baby not an excuse" I will never have my pre baby body back! My hips are wider, stretch marks and all! But I wanted to feel good about my self so I busted tail after he was born.

TinkrBelz

But for those that seem to have poor reading comprehensive skills, I think I will state things a little clearer so even those people can understand.
...........

Hmmm....oh yes you definitely sound like someone i want to take advice from. Such intolerance to anyone who has a different opinion then your own...wow

Then get off of my thread! If you don't want to take my advice, why read and reply? Seems to me like you just want to keep coming back to pick a fight with a stranger...like you have anger issues, so lets attack the mom of 6 that has worked her butt off to lose her baby weight. I bet that gives you some joy!!

IF you are a mom that has never used the excuse that you can not lose weight or get fit because you have kids, then guess what, this post WAS NOT FOR YOU! So move on and stop calling me names and being rude and hateful.

Then you should have just stated THIS in the beginning instead of acting like ALL women blame their children for what is clearly their issue. Maybe you should just admit that you could have reworded your original post better instead of leaving such long rambling replies trying to justify what you wrote.

Guess what...I never said that ALL moms use this excuse....you just jumped to that conclusion....or MAYBE you do use this excuse but you do not want to admit it....just a thought!

Also, there are moms that are on here and then get discouraged....read the posts and threads and you can see it...we come on here to get strength from each other and to learn from each other. There have been many woman that have posted on here and have sent me PM and FR, they said that my thread inspired them to stick to it and to keep on doing their best.

I do read them, that is why I read them. Your post however I did not find inspiring (as did some others) I found it offensive. Some of us stated that and why....you are the one that got all bent about the dissenting opinions. You are the one that should let it go.
Instead you practically break your arm patting yourself on the back here, and insulting us by implying that we are less intelligent than yourself, since we could not possibly understand what you wrote.....pot...this is kettle....you're black.

I had to state this because I had two moms say, that I must be directing this to moms that are not on MFP because since moms are on MFP, they do not deal with this issue....well, yes, there are moms that deal with this issue that are on MFP right now.

So, just curious, when others post their success pictures and tell others what they have done...are they being braggarts or breaking their arms to pat their own back? Or are they doing so because we all enjoy seeing success and this makes us work harder? My guess, is that you get angry and jealous!

BTW...never called you any names...what are we? 8th graders? What names? Just opening up discussion and you are getting your feelings hurt because we don't agree that your post is inspiring.

Ummm...I was called a bully! I guess you missed that post!

What is quite funny, is that this could have been a pleasant thread, where moms posted their before and after pictures. Where moms shared what they did. There are going to be moms that are soft spoken and then there are moms that yell and get excited like they are at a game. We all have different styles, why get so bent? I bet you feel good that you attacked a fellow mom, one that has had 6 kids, one that has either been pregnant or breastfeeding for the past 17 years of her life, a fellow mom that also has hypothyroidism (and....still loses weight despite being hypo!), a mom that replies on other success stories and gets excited for those stories, a mom that helps other moms in my gym with their diet and their exercise, and a mom that helps other moms on MFP.. AND then when you insult that mom, you get angry when she hits back! Wow to you girl.

Now make sure when you post your success story and post pictures, that you say it in a super nice way and do not get excited or you might offend someone...because people are just so darn sensitive these days.

You are getting your feelings hurt about a post that was never intended for you!

TinkrBelz

Ladies ladies...for all of those that were offended by the OP's 'style' there are many pages of women that found it motivating.
I respond well to the 'get off your *kitten* and stop making excuses mentality'. I was using pregnancy and a baby as a reason to stay heavier than I really wanted to be. I am not anymore. And I am starting to look and feel really good.
The OP's post was really targeting those like me...and I wasn't offended.
So if her style of motivation isnt for you..move on.

The way I see it.

OP...Challenge Accepted! <---In my best Barney Stintson voice

THIS ^^^ times 10!

Thanks girl!! I do too!!! I am a competitor and I also respond to "get off your *kitten*" approach! If you lose a ball game, but you played your best...so be it. But, don't make excuses about losing a ball game if you didn't do your best. Fix it and play harder the next game!! Maybe because I have 5 sons, this is just how it is. It might hurt feelings at times, but if it is the truth, then it is what it is!

Honestly, I didn't start seeing results until I got mad and said, THIS IS ENOUGH!!!

My profile pic was taken about 5 months after my second son was born! That's my tag line "had a baby not an excuse" I will never have my pre baby body back! My hips are wider, stretch marks and all! But I wanted to feel good about my self so I busted tail after he was born.

Libby...wow...you look great!!! But be careful with that tag line, you might hurt someone's feelings!

NotGoddess

I've been overweight most of my life. Not huge-about the weight I am now (oh if only I appreciated myself back then instead of beating myself up!!). With each pregnancy, I gained weight. I didn't bounce back-or rather each time I started to I got pregnant again. gah. I don't blame the kids-it was me all the way. It doesn't matter in the end, really.

Now, I've finally got my head on straight and I'm getting fit, losing weight, and of course I bemoan my tummy. The rest of me is starting to look nice but that belly is still there and shows no signs of slimming. My friends say "You look great. Of course you have a bigger belly, you've had 4 kids!" and I just can't help thinking 'Yes, I've had kids. I've never been 'fit' or 'slim' and you know I may never have a flat tummy or anything close to it. But that's no reason not to go for it. Who knows? I might even get there. The worst thing I can do is give up.

OP, I just want to say thank you for posting. Yes, your story is different from mine, so are your genetics, but I hope I can borrow a little of your determination so I keep going.

JenAiMarres

Wow....I am alarmed at some of the latest responses on this thread.... If u are so offended by this post PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP READING IT...OR AT LEAST STOP POSTING ON IT.

Tink, you are an inspiration to so many women...your Zumba students, your mfp friends, and more than likely women u come into casual contact with daily... I can see your positive nature (however NO NONSENSE your approach is) radiating through your posts.

I know when I see a mom that's in great shape I feel inspired not resentful. I have battled with eating and body image issues for years nor have I not always been this fit or thin. I drew inspiration from moms around me...from women who helped empower me. My workouts are not pain free...nor do I think anyone's are...if it was easy we would all weigh 110 lbs...some of us make that CHOICE...and my (and your) choice is clear....fitness and health WILL take a front seat in my life...honestly it makes me a better mother IMO...but that's jut my opinion.

Opinions are like *kitten*...everyone has one.

Keep up the great work tink!! And please continue to inspire me daily!

PrincessMonica05

Tink, you are awesome!! You have amazing results and motivate me daily!! I can't wait to start the BBL work out. I have 5 kids but I don't want to look great for having 5 kids..I want to look great period!! I want to wear a bikini this summer so i am going to work my butt off!! I want to look and feel amazing!! I love my MFP friends because my hubby does not understand.

kikilareggae

Amen! And you look more than just "Ok" now! Good job on getting so fit!

libby328

Ladies ladies...for all of those that were offended by the OP's 'style' there are many pages of women that found it motivating.
I respond well to the 'get off your *kitten* and stop making excuses mentality'. I was using pregnancy and a baby as a reason to stay heavier than I really wanted to be. I am not anymore. And I am starting to look and feel really good.
The OP's post was really targeting those like me...and I wasn't offended.
So if her style of motivation isnt for you..move on.

The way I see it.

OP...Challenge Accepted! <---In my best Barney Stintson voice

THIS ^^^ times 10!

Thanks girl!! I do too!!! I am a competitor and I also respond to "get off your *kitten*" approach! If you lose a ball game, but you played your best...so be it. But, don't make excuses about losing a ball game if you didn't do your best. Fix it and play harder the next game!! Maybe because I have 5 sons, this is just how it is. It might hurt feelings at times, but if it is the truth, then it is what it is!

Honestly, I didn't start seeing results until I got mad and said, THIS IS ENOUGH!!!

My profile pic was taken about 5 months after my second son was born! That's my tag line "had a baby not an excuse" I will never have my pre baby body back! My hips are wider, stretch marks and all! But I wanted to feel good about my self so I busted tail after he was born.

Libby...wow...you look great!!! But be careful with that tag line, you might hurt someone's feelings!

Thanks you look amazing as well! I knew that I had to mentally prepare myself so I started when I was 4 months preggers! I still lived pregnant life. Ate and enjoyed! I waited the 6 weeks after till I started working out! If people want to be offended by my tag thats ok I guess cause it isnt meant towards them. It was what I needed to know for myself to push!

Sh0ewh0re7_BlingItOn

ShoeWhore....You look great!!!!!

Thanks, as do you my dear! Well done

jakilde

You look awesome! I have 4 kids. I had them all at a young age, my last when I was 28. My hubby leaves for work at 4:30 in the morning and gets home at 7 at night. I work weekends to be able to stay home with them during the week, till the last two are in school anyhow. I also babysit a little boy and will also have his soon to be little brother. Going to the gym is impossible for me with our schedules and to be able to afford daycare to go. I get up with my hubby everymorning, like a good wife, and make his lunch and coffee. Well, that left me some time before the kids start their day, so I started running on the treadmill and doing DVD's. No, having babies isn't an excuse. It is just what you want to put into it. Some days it is tough and very unmotivating when the alarm goes off but after it is all done, the feeling is so great and makes it worth it! Great job to you with all those babies:)

ladybg81

AMEN girl! I was always thin until I had my son. I gained 60 pounds. Lost most the first year by breastfeeding alone. Finally last year I kicked my own *kitten* and hubby found me MFP and I lost the rest of the weight plus. I have not been this small since college! Now I am focusing on getting a toned body. You are an inspiration for women everywhere!

Sh0ewh0re7_BlingItOn

Honestly the comment having babies is no excuse is so dam hurtful.

I was in shape before I got pregnant with my first, I worked full time as a landscaper. I had a perfect pregnancy, gained only the exact 25 pounds I was told to gain. I worked out daily, I drank water. I still got stretch marks. Lost the baby weight.

Started trying for the next. Took 2 years and fertility drugs. I reacted badly and puffed up like a balloon on the fertility drugs and gained weight. Once I got pregnant I right away dropped weight then gained the required 25 pounds. I worked out daily for an hour or more, I drank water, I did everything PERFECT. Then I had an emergency c-section. It was horrific.

Now I have stretch marks and a massive uneven unsymmetrical scar. My upper body looks great, my lower body looks great. My abdomen looks like crap and nothing, absolutely nothing except surgery is going to fix the hideous scar.


So yup, I had children. Nothing baring expensive plastic surgery is going to make me pretty and perfect again. Congrats that you did not have to go threw the horror, physical and emotional pain and the life long issues I did . How wonderful for you.

Sorry you had to go through such a hard time with your pregnancies and that you found this comment hurtful. I didn't appreciate it either.

Honestly, I admire and congratulate all the success stories in here but when they start gloating or preaching to others about all their "excuses" or whatever, that I find hard to tolerate. Thank you.

For those that felt my comments were hurtful, maybe you should re-read my post. I said having babies is not an excuse....that means, if you have been telling yourself that you can not lose the weight that you gained from having babies, then you are using your pregnancies as an excuse. I never mentioned fertility issues, c-sections or anything of the sort. I strictly mentioned having babies.

Also, my comments were that we may never get our perfect pre-baby bodies back, but we can work hard and get back the best body that WE can get. I still have stretch marks and loose skin when I bend over (like the other mom said, she won't due planks in just a tank bra and yoga pants...ditto) , but my tummy looks better than it did last year. I could have said, "What the heck, I am 41 years old, I have carried 6 children in my body, I have stretch marks and loose skin, why even try since I can never get back the cute body that was lost." Trust me, I had these thoughts a lot. I even gave away my smaller clothes and bought bigger clothes!!! I get the frustration.

I know for myself, I needed to see pictures of other moms that have had multiple children. Moms that were not already Hollywood actresses or professional athletes, or swimsuit models....I needed to see real moms that were able to get their body back to shape. Maybe not perfect, but the best that it could be. That inspired me to do the same. And as I became healthier and fitter, I knew that I wanted to give other moms hope to see a normal mom doing the best that she can do.

And for those that can not exercise because of busy schedule, you can control your weight from diet. Sure, you may not get those ripped abs or muscular arms, but you will lose that baby weight. When my kids were little, I watched my weight by what I ate. If I got a chance to do a little something in the house, I did...but most of the time, I could not. So, I did not overeat.

I now teach Zumba classes. I got this job after I joined the gym and decided to make myself healthier. I have all ages and all sizes of women in my class. I make sure that my classes are a hard workout, but nothing that would ever hurt any other their knees. I stay after and tell them things that they can eat, I do not want them to starve themselves. I do a lot for my working, stay home, soccer moms in my gym. I truly care about my moms in my class!!!

So, if my post offended you, then you need to look inside yourself and figure out why. My post was meant to inspire other moms that yes, our bodies have changed and they may never be pre-baby perfect....BUT we are moms and we are women and we can accomplish what we choose to accomplish!!! And if you choose that you want to lose your baby weight and you want to get the best body that you can get back....then DO IT!!! And don't get angry at me and say that I am gloating when I have been pregnant 6 times! When I have sacrificed 17 years of my body to pregnancies and breastfeeding for my children. Do you know what sort of schedule I have with 6 kids from the age of 2-17???? Imagine it for a minute, and re-think that I am gloating or preaching!! (Side note) I also nearly lost 3 children because of 1st trimester bleeding....going through ultrasounds weekly to make sure the baby that I was carrying was still alive...afraid that if I moved wrong I would hurt my baby. I bled through 3 pregnancies...so it was no cake walk for me either!

And to the other moms that have posted their success stories and success pictures...High 5 to you girls!! You get it. You decided that you were going to be the best that you can be, and you are inspiring to me and to other moms!!!

Well said! Thanks again for INSPIRING people!