The gym that causes me marriage stress!!

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  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    My boyfriend and I workout together, but we basically ignore the other while we do, unless we're out running pavement together.

    I don't think you're wrong to want to work out by yourself. Everyone needs some time away from their partner, and your gym time is clearly your "you" time. Have you tried explaining that to her? I'm sure she has time devoted to just her. It might be worth your time to find an exercise you guys can do together, so she doesn't feel as sad and scorned, but she also needs to understand that gym time is time to focus on yourself.
  • NatashaC88
    NatashaC88 Posts: 6
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    My husband and I must be an odd couple because we relish our time together building each other up as we do building ourselves up as individuals. If I demand my husbands attention at the gym, during dinner, in bed at night, and all else in between, when does that leave him time to focus on himself? I as a wife don't find it realistic to measure how close we are by how much time we spend at the gym as some other commentators have expressed. We enjoy time together but see the value in each other participating in individual activities that are positive and thus serve to benefit the greater good.

    When I feel confident and in control of my health I am able to bette represent our family in the public eye.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    Ugh, I can't stand women.

    This is why I'm glad my ex no longer comes to our (my kids and I) taekwondo class. He is just like your wife. I can't deal with all that emo crap.
  • 1dce
    1dce Posts: 238 Member
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    She just doesn't understand, knowledge is best in this situation.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    omg, i have NO words!! too damn funny! i tired doing Taebo with my SO but could not because he made this weird face and was doing this bobble head thing that made me laugh, i could not concentrate so we never did that again!! but he understood, no tears no drama! gosh, i feel for ya! we can be some clingy pieces of work sometimes...
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i feel bad for your wife.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    Maybe calmly explain to her that you work best alone, and that she needs to respect that. If she understands that you can't be bothered while working out, perhaps she'll come to a better understanding of why she needs to give you some space.

    Also, i've done zumba, it's very funny, but I can understand how you wouldn't want to do it ... a bit "girly?" I suppose.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    That was such an awesome story.. I would suggest to her to read The New Rules of Lifting for Women. Sorry that's all I got :) but thanks for the entertainment!!
  • CDG1013
    CDG1013 Posts: 106 Member
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    Husbands and wives need to have activities that are their own things. She should respect that lifting is your thing. If she wants to do Zumba as hers, that's fine. But it's not a bad thing, and is actually healthy for a marriage, as long as you do have activities that you share. If going to the gym at the same time is important to her, then the ground rules should be that you each do your own workouts while you are there.
  • nangel4u
    nangel4u Posts: 119
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    LMAO!!!! I think it would be funny as hell to see a man in a ZUMBA class!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!
  • nessagrace22
    nessagrace22 Posts: 430 Member
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    Ugh, I can't stand women.

    This is why I'm glad my ex no longer comes to our (my kids and I) taekwondo class. He is just like your wife. I can't deal with all that emo crap.

    Wow "I can't stand women". Now who's being emo?
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    I have zero advice to offer but just wanted to say you're not a bad man at all. :laugh:

    You sound funny, sweet and pretty damn reasonable.

    And personally I wouldn't be seen dead in Zumba either for all the reasons you listed.
  • cersela
    cersela Posts: 160 Member
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    Okay I'm sorry but I had to laugh a little. I like going to the gym with my husband, but we only talk on the way there or home. I think the only thing I've ever said to him while there was 'Are you ready to leave?' after he was finished stretching.

    I think your wife just wants to be included in something you care about, do some cardio with her until she's comfortable doing her own thing, or suggest that she invite a friend to do zumba with her instead.
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    OMG I just read part 2.... he's actually done it [Zumba]

    Funniest piece of writing ever. :laugh:
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    Ugh, I can't stand women.

    This is why I'm glad my ex no longer comes to our (my kids and I) taekwondo class. He is just like your wife. I can't deal with all that emo crap.

    Wow "I can't stand women". Now who's being emo?

    ^
  • fernanda78
    fernanda78 Posts: 40
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    Look..I think its very normal what ur going through. Here u are...Enjoying and faithfully attending the gym...curiosity has finally hit her. She wants to know what's so good about this gym? Maybe her girlfriends put stuff in her head....who knows! But what I think u should do is set a day out of the week to go with her...of course knowing ur not going to work out but chat. That way she does not feel threatened by the gym. Then just go as usual...by urself other days. Now about the Zumba...my hubby will hang me if I would sign us up...I get it...just set a date night with some salsa dancing! She will be so flattered amazed and swept off her feet..anything prior...FORGOTTEN! That's my advice.... great story!
  • Judysiguaw
    Judysiguaw Posts: 12 Member
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    Ask her to be your spotter while you are lifting, but explain that she can't talk as it is a safety issue.
  • RejoicingL
    RejoicingL Posts: 95 Member
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    Can't you spare some of your workout time, make some extra time to workout with her, encorage her. Maybe that's what she needs. Take a class, workout where she wants to, talk and listen, then you have your lifting time. Give a little and you'll get much more in return. Be glad she wants to be healthy. Be glad you have her in your life, and that she wants to spend time/talk with you. Have fun with her. <3<3<3
  • quixoteQ
    quixoteQ Posts: 484
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    Besides using [ . . . ] heavy drugs [ . . . ].

    I feel like you haven't given this option the thought it deserves.
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
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    I see this all the time at the gym....some poor guy trying to workout and his girlfriend/wife/whatever tagging along, yakking about her day, office or friend gossip, whatever and he looks like he wants someone to literally shoot him on the spot.

    I laugh and laugh some more. because THAT WOULD F'N SUCK!

    Deal Breaker! Absolute DEAL BREAKER!!!

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