The gym that causes me marriage stress!!
Options
Replies
-
Are your wife and my wife related? EXACT SAME almost to the T! When I jog she expects me to jog at her pace so we can talk. If I don't, she pouts (sometimes cries) and stop jogging. One time she threw her shoe at me and it hit my head.
Holy crap, dude. :huh:
Thankfully the female friends I have do NOT act like these women.. It's embarrassing to our gender.
Seriously. BRIDEZILLA!0 -
I all else fails get her to have a go at lifting and see if let her see for herself that you don't feel too talkative whilst your doing it! zara0
-
OMG, That is awful! I am married, too, love hubby but we're on two different levels and my gym time is my time, I would sneak to gym if I had to avoid taking him because he would try to tell me how to do what I am already doing well when this is not his thing LOL! #Too funny!! Thanks for the good laugh!
Exactly!0 -
I think this took the price for the most times I've laughed out loud while reading a post. :laugh:
My husband is in total support of me doing my workouts without him, whether it's strength or cardio. He is content to go on the every other day family walk and he's hit hero status because of that support.
Now my kids are a totally different story. They are the ones who want to workout with me which simply translates in to they are the ones who want to seriously get in my way, distract me and cause me to want to get a punching bag addition in our home gym. "Mom, what are you listening to now - Mom, how fast are you running - Mom, how many times have you lifted that thing - Mom, you are really sweating" and my absolute favorite "Mom, you chubby parts are squeezing out when you move like that". :explode:
So now I only workout in the morning before they are up or after they've gone to school. I LOVE my children fiercly and God blesses me with their existence daily but oh dear Lord - they are not safe with me when we are in the home gym together! :noway:0 -
Are your wife and my wife related? EXACT SAME almost to the T! When I jog she expects me to jog at her pace so we can talk. If I don't, she pouts (sometimes cries) and stop jogging. One time she threw her shoe at me and it hit my head.
Holy crap, dude. :huh:
Thankfully the female friends I have do NOT act like these women.. It's embarrassing to our gender.
If a woman posted that her husband did that, we'd all be appalled.
Women should be held to the same standards as men. When men demand women curtail their activities to suit them and pout if they don't get their way, they're called "controlling" or "emotionally abusive."0 -
Meanwhile, I'm trying to talk my fiance into going to the gym with me so we can lift heavy weights together...0
-
I explained to her this is my thing, I don't mind doing some cardio together on off days but when I lift I don't want anyone or anything to be bothering me.
Your answer is in your post. Tell her lifting time is your time, cardio time can be together time. You should also tell her you don't feel comfortable doing zumba for cardio (tell her it makes you self conscious).
She's going to likely be mad when you tell her (this is my assumption from breaking into tears at the gym). That's ok - let her be mad. Then a few days later, you invite her to the gym on a cardio only day. Tell her you meant what you said in that you would like to share cardio with her, but that lifting takes concentration and focus, and you just can't have her hot butt around while you're doing it our you'll get distracted and drop your weights and injure yourself. Then laugh, hug, and go hang out on neighboring ellipticals.0 -
My husband and I for the most part work out / lift together.... If we don't, it's not big deal.. But I do look at it as time we get to spend together and get in shape at the same time...
It works for us, but maybe not so much for others...0 -
I feel for ya bro, as my wife and I have gone through some of this before as well. What made my situation different was that she'd make me feel guilty for going when she couldn't (I work til 3, she works til 5) stating that it "made her look bad". Of course there were days where I'd go ahead and wait for her only to see her not motivated to go, which would jeopardize my work out schedule. I finally decided one day that her perception of herself does not take precedence over my health, so I started going again without her. Since then she still doesn't go, but has started doing things for herself at home...on her time....because time seems to be the biggest issue (yes it's a 24 hour gym, but she doesn't want to occupy her whole night with workouts) . So we bought a Wii and both play the sports/fitness games. Also bought her a weighted hula hoop and keep some dumbbells around along with an exercise ball.
What I found really annoying wasn't the fact that she wanted to go with me. What bothered me was that it vicariously put me in charge of her fitness program. Since I didn't know what else to do, I had her lifting in with my workout. Either way best of luck to you \m/0 -
[
Are your wife and my wife related? EXACT SAME almost to the T! When I jog she expects me to jog at her pace so we can talk. If I don't, she pouts (sometimes cries) and stop jogging. One time she threw her shoe at me and it hit my head.
1 - Holy *kitten* balls!!!
2 - If you are exercising and you can have a full on uninterrupted conversation you are doing it wrong.0 -
I feel bad since I found that really funny! :laugh: I really feel for you though.
I'd suggest a proper sit down chat with her, saying that you like your time at the gym, as "me" time. You like to lift weights, and zumba just doesn't cut it. Reassure her lots that you love spending time with her, just not so much at the gym. Find some other things to do together. Maybe you 2 could go gym together, go your separate ways while in there, meet up after a go for lunch or shopping or something? She obviously just wants to spend time with you, which is sweet, but I understand it can be annoying if it's all the time.
I go to the gym with my bf sometimes, but we have the same sort of goals and do the same lifts etc so it's not like I'm trying to drag him to zumba or anything! We tend to go gym, do our own thing with the weights, and spot each other when needed. It works this way round and we like going together. I don't spend ages trying to chat with him though.0 -
She obviously wants to spend time with you and thinks this is the way to do it. Is there any way you could do your thing, she could do hers, and you could meet together after for a cool-down period? Maybe a few laps around a track? Let her know that lifting is really important to you but if you try to lift and talk at the same time you could lose your concentration and get hurt. Then pick some sort of activity you can both enjoy and suggest doing that a few times a week.
BTW, the crying is the most manipulative, pathetic thing she could have done. I don't cry (especially in a public space) if I don't get what I want. I find it childish and demeaning. Grow up and talk like an adult.
I don't cry either. I think I've cried twice since I've been with my bf (7 months). He's a crier hehe ^_^ Sometimes I let him know he's throwing a tantrum. But most of the time he's just being sensitive/emotional. Some people are super sensitive and it's not intentionally manipulative.
She does cry a lot, I don't think she was being manipulative. I told her she's just full of lots of hormones once thinking that would be a good comment to help make her feel better.. Let me tell you.. I'm smooooth with the ladies.. :-(
O M G you NEVER tell a woman that she is hormonal, EVER!0 -
She is a grown women and should understand where he is coming from. Not to be mean or anything, but she seems pathetic and clingy. I meet my boyfriend at the gym and we both go the same days after work, but he does his thing and I do mine. We chat in between sets to see how each other is doing, but other than that we don't bother each other. This is something she needs to learn and it sounds like she refuses to let go.0
-
Keep going with your argument, and just explain it in different ways. She's explained why she's upset with you, and you've just got to explain to her that lifting is YOUR thing, and you need to do it for yourself and yourself alone.
My husband and I go on hikes together, swim together and we have biked together as well- but there is NO WAY I want him to do yoga with me (something he's pretty happy about).
Why does he have to explain to her different ways. She should understand the first time he tells her. She is not a child that you need to repeat and remind. They are both adults and once you have talking it shouldn't be explained again and again.0 -
I held back all urge to explain to her I'd rather cut off my hand, be fat, and die young than having to workout with her or do Zumba.
BEST.QUOTE.EVER.
As everyone else is saying, suggesting you do something together on your off day(s) is a great idea. I also liked the comment from someone that said maybe catch a smootie afterwards.
Seriously though - GOOD LUCK
Keep us posted. 0 -
My husband and I go to the gym together once a week. He walks for an hour on the treadmill. I warm up 15mins on a bike, then do a 30min PT session with weights. Afterwards I walk for 15mins on the treadmill next to his. We usually don't say much. Then we get coffees on the way home and hang out.
It's not the actual gym time we spend together, but it sort of feels like it is. Maybe you could find a similar routine that you both benefit from?
THIS^^
See if you guys can go to the gym together and each do your thing and meet up afterward for some kind of beverage or supper. Or see if there is some other non-Zumba class you'd both be willing to try...maybe something new to BOTH of you...0 -
Could you just tell her you can't talk and lift, Zumba, or any other exercise at the same time and wouldn't be much of a partner?
How about go when she's at work, still sleeping, etc.0 -
Are your wife and my wife related? EXACT SAME almost to the T! When I jog she expects me to jog at her pace so we can talk. If I don't, she pouts (sometimes cries) and stop jogging. One time she threw her shoe at me and it hit my head.
Ugh. I read this and thought that you should be arrested ... for marrying a 12-year old.0 -
I think you're missing the forest for the trees. It's not really about the gym. She's feeling threatened and looking for a way to get back what she had. Whether she's threatened because she thinks you aren't paying enough attention to her, or if she is genuinely worried about your relationship is something you will only learn from having a sit-down with her. I would guess that your journey has changed a lot about the way you live, which changes the way she lives You aren't the same guy who wants to veg on the couch and stuff your face (assuming that is what led to your need to make such an amazing change). She is unsure now of what the new relationship should be. Your focus is different, your goals are different and she doesn't really know where she fits in. She wants to keep you and keep up with you. She isn't going about it in the best way. We usually don't when we are insecure and afraid. Stick to your guns about your workout, but spend some time finding out what is at the core of this sudden desire to spend every minute with you.0
-
What married woman, who even REMOTELY knows her husband ( or any man for that matter) , would sign him up for Zumba classes ??????????????
Give me a break ! She may as well have signed up you up for a Manicure and a wax.....
Someone earlier suggested setting her up with a personal trainer and buying her that New rules for women weightlifting book.... maybe once she starts lifting on her own ( and she can still do Zumba if she likes) she will get the concept that working out means being "plugged in" and in the zone....
With any luck she will see the light and not want you to be bothering her when she is lifting hehe... best of luck.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 400 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 988 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions