The gym that causes me marriage stress!!

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  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    When my wife and I used to go to the gym together we'd agree on a time that we'd meet in the lobby to leave. Sometimes we'd see each other and wave during the time we were there doing our things.
  • cfoster629
    cfoster629 Posts: 10
    LOL great post, I love it! Well, your wife just needs to understand. I went through a similar thing with my hubby. I wanted him to work out MY way, but that wasn't his thing, I got upset, cried.... but I got over it, and learned he has to do things his own way. Running / walking isn't his thing, but he loves to ride his bike. So I run and he rides if we want to do something together. Maybe you could find a compromise or make a special time for a "together" workout that you can both do to make her feel better. Good Luck!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Are your wife and my wife related? EXACT SAME almost to the T! When I jog she expects me to jog at her pace so we can talk. If I don't, she pouts (sometimes cries) and stop jogging. One time she threw her shoe at me and it hit my head.

    Could this be classified as Cross Training?

    No, now if it were a wrench on the other hand . . .
  • janiedoe111
    janiedoe111 Posts: 161 Member
    This is awesome and hilarious. Thanks for the morning pick-me-up!
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
    Sorry man, I wish I could be more helpful.

    My boyfriend and I share a tennis club/gym at the moment. Surprisingly his idea. The first couple times we went together, he showed me 'his' routine that he feels has helped with his tennis ability. So, we did it together. Then, we branched off. I need different things than he does.

    We will meet up by a watering hole here and there for a small chat about a certain exercise that killed up today. I sometimes feel a slap on the *kitten* when the gym is dead...Thats about it though.

    Cling monster...I am not.
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 994 Member
    You can always ask her to lift with you. :smile:

    ^^This

    Years ago I tried working out with my husband and we were on different pages. I wasn't into lifting and didn't think I could do it. I went to my cardio classes and lifting classes and he went into kickboxing. Now 2.5 yrs later we are both at Lifetime lifting heavy TOGETHER and its great. He spots me and then once in awhile I will TRY and spot him otherwise he'll ask a guy at the gym to spot him. Then we sometimes workout in the same area or I'll go squat and he'll do curls on the other side of the weight room. We have so much fun together and it is like our 'date' time together at night. I love looking across the gym and seeing my mom lifting heavy and he loves looking across the gym seeing me squat or doing overhead presses.

    I don't think you are a bad guy at all. Maybe a heart to heart is needed. A good sit down at home might help. Sometimes couples just aren't meant to workout together. She needs to not take it so personal.
  • TNGURL
    TNGURL Posts: 89 Member
    BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!!! Ok, first of all.... you're going to look the "*kitten*" in her eye's no matter what... BUT! Be honest and tell her, you are not and will never do Zumba!!!!!! PERIOD!!! You lift weights and will continue to do so. This is not a "date" or social event. STAY STRONG AND STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!!!
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 994 Member
    PS: And I think you score major points for going for walks and that kind of stuff outside of the gym. My husband works outside all year round so when he comes home or on the weekends the last thing he wants to do is go for a nice walk around the neighborhood. That makes me sad sometimes especially when its nice out and I want to walk the dog.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Great story!!! I feel for you, I really do. Wish I had some advice but I don't, as I wouldn't be that chick - I would give you your time to lift. Afterwards, you could always make me a sammich. :flowerforyou:
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
    This is pretty funny.

    We went at it from the other side - i got into lifting, and tried to encourage my husband, to the point where my trainer told me to leave the poor guy alone. But now hubby has the bug too. :D

    Edit to add: But i'd never ask the poor guy to do Zumba. He'd fall on some poor thing and squash her. LOL
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
    4841450_f260.jpg

    these may help
  • TinaLTaylor79
    TinaLTaylor79 Posts: 140 Member
    LOL You are not horrible and you are not doing anything wrong!! (In my opinion) If you do all those other thing with her..Shopping, dinners, lake, walks ect ect..oh Chick Flicks...like she really should not be harping on you or invading your space when it comes to the one thing you want to yourself! She def should have asked before signing you up for Zumba! I would never pull that on my husband!! lol
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    :explode: that's how I feel about curling :grumble:
  • katgirl985
    katgirl985 Posts: 212 Member
    BUT how about making it a date some other way, like getting together for a smoothie afterwards, or something that reconnects you?

    This. Hubby and I go to the gym at the same time but we don't workout together. (I actually hired a personal trainer and although he is MUCH more fit than I am has said that he is essentially too lazy for that kind of workout -- LOL!) But on Sundays after the gym, we go and have a smoothie or grab a sandwich and split it. :-)
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Are your wife and my wife related? EXACT SAME almost to the T! When I jog she expects me to jog at her pace so we can talk. If I don't, she pouts (sometimes cries) and stop jogging. One time she threw her shoe at me and it hit my head.

    Could this be classified as Cross Training?

    No, now if it were a wrench on the other hand . . .

    If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member

    If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

    YES!
  • _HeathBar_
    _HeathBar_ Posts: 902 Member
    Awwww come on, if you do Zumba you could totally look like this d-bag in no time! Wouldn't that be awesome?!?

    zumba_man%5B2%5D.jpg
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    Awwww come on, if you do Zumba you could totally look like this d-bag in no time! Wouldn't that be awesome?!?

    zumba_man%5B2%5D.jpg

    He's so....shiny.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Dude, she just doesn't understand is all. She is just looking for a way to spend time with you, doing what you like to do. I'd suggest to her to either 1) start lifting with you, or 2) find another thing the two of you enjoy doing. I'm the same way, I hate working out in any way with someone talking to me. I'd rather focus on the task at hand.

    Or like other suggested, make the date after the gym. Like in the shower :devil:
  • JBApplebee
    JBApplebee Posts: 481 Member
    WOW! That's all I can say about that. My wife & I go to the gym together from time to time, but I made sure & set some ground rules beforehand. I told her that the gym is the one place in the universe where I have total control of everything. What machine, what weights, what I listen to, how I lift (or run). I told her that if she wanted help in lifting (learning to lift) or if she had questions, I have no problem with that, but if she wanted to chit chat, that wasn't going to happen.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    I think the only reason my husband likes going to the gym with me is to watch my boobs bounce when I'm running.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    definitely don't give up something that is yours. Couples need their own individual things. For example, I have taken up boxing. Three times a week, I leave the house and punch things. Its a hell of a workout and it also enables me to vent some frustration and stress. My wife has said that even if she wanted to, she would never take up boxing now because it is my thing. She has her treadmill time, which she uses to work off her stress and frustrations and we work =)
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    Separate date night and gym time. If she's going to the gym as a time to socialize with you, talk to her about doing a date night instead. She should go to the gym with girlfriends if she wants to socialize there. Some people, who are not of the gym = work mindset don't understand that we need concentration and we're there to get the job done and that is all.

    Beyond that, she seems a bit emotionally off. Is she concerned about your change in physique and that you won't be attracted to her anymore? Or is she always prone to drama in public places? I can't think of any other reason for the behaviour.
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 462 Member
    Teach her how to pick things up and put them down, so you're showing an effort to include her in the gym. NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY should ever be caught dead doing Zumba. I danced all through college and find the concept absolutely absurd!

    zumba.jpg

    i am so stealing this for my facebook! lol
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    Healthy marriages are ones where you do some things together and also have some interests separately. Take her to one of those nice places to eat you like, and explain that you hate Zumba, you don't mind her enjoying it, but she'll have to go alone because you don't enjoy it. (Although I'd like to point out, I doubt she'd want to "chat" during Zumba. LOL :wink: ) Tell her what you do want to do at the gym--including listening to your iPod while you lift, and let her know you'd love her to come with you, but you are going to do this workout your way, and let her know you won't be hurt should she decide not to join you. Maybe offer to work with her on her form after/before you start your own workout? It's not just okay, it's crucial, that married couples have some interests they do not share.

    (I'm with ya on the Zumba, though. Every generation we get a new dance-exercise craze, and Zumba's just the latest. My generation had Jazzercize, and you can't get much dumber than that!)
  • ItsMandeeBitch
    ItsMandeeBitch Posts: 159 Member
    WOWWWWWWWWWWW that is annoying legit. I am annoyed for you lol
  • skckarma
    skckarma Posts: 5
    my wife and I got into it in the gym to, she like to talk while working out i simply cannot. i yelled at her to shut up..( i know i was wrong) since then we have decided to not to work out together anymore
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    Awwww come on, if you do Zumba you could totally look like this d-bag in no time! Wouldn't that be awesome?!?

    zumba_man%5B2%5D.jpg

    I think he's cute. LOTS better looking than most of the people commonly thought of a good looking. I'm not into guys, but I'd sure pick him over say, this guy:

    bradley-cooper-198x300.jpg
  • ezramedic
    ezramedic Posts: 119
    I *love* going to the gym with my husband. It definitely feels like date time to me

    - - -except with some major differences to your experience.

    I ask my husband to train me. I ask him to help me improve my form with weights, to encourage me to be stronger, faster, etc.

    While he is far more experienced with weights and proper form, I know he enjoys me being there, encouraging him.

    And when we do our cardio - we both plug in our iPods and listen to our own music, sneaking glances at each other, being happy to be there together. [Which means our 3yo son is somewhere else, LOL]
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    WOWWWWWWWWWWW that is annoying legit. I am annoyed for you lol

    I'm sorry. I was criticizing the exercises of Zumba and Jazzercize, not the people.
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