The gym that causes me marriage stress!!

Options
1…34689…24

Replies

  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    Options
    My husband and I go to the gym together once a week. He walks for an hour on the treadmill. I warm up 15mins on a bike, then do a 30min PT session with weights. Afterwards I walk for 15mins on the treadmill next to his. We usually don't say much. Then we get coffees on the way home and hang out.

    It's not the actual gym time we spend together, but it sort of feels like it is. Maybe you could find a similar routine that you both benefit from?
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
    Options
    Dude, your wife wants to do stuff with you, I think that's a very good problem to have.
  • brendansmom1
    brendansmom1 Posts: 530 Member
    Options
    Someone may have said this, but what about a compromise? Like one day a week you go to the gym together...maybe do strength training together? Okay, so you don't like Zumba, but what about some of the other machines that you can do "together" like the elliptical or treadmil...or what about a spin class together? Lots of guys spin!!

    I think that would be a fair compromise....one day a week :)

    My BF, God bless him, his totally not into fitness...he thinks cause he does not have to lose weight, he does not need to work out. Ho hum. I wish I had your issue! LOL
  • Expialidojess
    Expialidojess Posts: 588 Member
    Options
    I think she is being a bit ridiculous. My hubby works out all the time without me and I don't care. When we run, if one of us wants to go faster than the other we do and the other just eventually catches up. I like the suggestion of telling her that you want your workouts to be you time but you'd be happy to do something with her afterwards.
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
    Options
    My husband has no desire to interfere with my relationship that I have with my Personal Trainer...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Same here!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
    Options
    Get your woman in line dude. Stand up to that freaking drama queen.
  • shannonperry13
    shannonperry13 Posts: 99
    Options
    yes, i have to agree with you. she sounds a little smothering and annoying. if anyone would act like that to me, i would leave them crying in the locker room, finish my work out, and then leave, leaving them at the gym. you seem like a much more compassionate and kind person than i am. :)
  • Jen32285
    Jen32285 Posts: 281 Member
    Options
    Tell her to find a girlfriend to workout with. I would much rather go alone. I don't like talking while trying to workout.
  • beabelieve
    beabelieve Posts: 112
    Options
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    Please DOnt find solution and update us weekly!!..

    Ive been DYING to get my hubby to do Zumbaaa, not because he needs to BUT because I NEED him tooooo .. I would freaking piss in my pants!:devil:

    I would be the equivalent of that Asian dude on American idol at Zumba. I'd be so bad at it, they put it on youtube, It'd go viral and my life would be ruined as I would be required to do Zumba before the National Anthem at ball games.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Ur so funny!!! Hey Im sorry maybe I should be giving you some advice, but the only advice id give you is GO TO ZUMBA CLASS! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Then do fill me in, id LOVE to hear about it.
  • bkandisjj29
    bkandisjj29 Posts: 172
    Options
    This is not rocket science. She just wants time with you. All you have to do is tell her you want time with her too, just not that time. But be sure to have a suggestion of something you can do together when you say this, and carry through.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Options
    Dude, your wife wants to do stuff with you, I think that's a very good problem to have.


    so true, love this response.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Options
    Someone may have said this, but what about a compromise? Like one day a week you go to the gym together...maybe do strength training together? Okay, so you don't like Zumba, but what about some of the other machines that you can do "together" like the elliptical or treadmil...or what about a spin class together? Lots of guys spin!!

    I think that would be a fair compromise....one day a week :)

    My BF, God bless him, his totally not into fitness...he thinks cause he does not have to lose weight, he does not need to work out. Ho hum. I wish I had your issue! LOL

    I'm way to competitive to honestly work out with someone. When I'm on a treadmill and people are on the treadmill near me, they may not know it but we are racing!
  • lambertj
    lambertj Posts: 675 Member
    Options
    LOL, sorry to laugh at your pain but that is so funny
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    Options
    I could never workout with my husband, not as in a 'let's share the weights and chat the whole time' kind of way. He knows I don't like to be interrupted, even during cardio. When I'm running on the treadmill at home, someone better be dead if I'm interrupted.

    Hell, we don't even ride to work together and we work in the same building. He won't get up early enough to leave at 7am, and I refuse to get up later to leave with him at 8. Don't even get me started on what channel the radio should be on for the ride....:laugh:

    Fortunately, we both agree that this works for us and will be celebrating 15 years in June with a trip to Toronto.

    Sorry for your pain......I wish you luck. :tongue:
  • shadowkitty22
    shadowkitty22 Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    So I can totally see how the suggestion that I'm about to make can completely backfire in your face and take away the "ME" factor of your weight lifting time, but have you considered getting her down on the bench and telling her to lift things and put them back down to just give her an idea of how much you need to concentrate to not hurt yourself and that's why you can't pay attention to her? Of course this could turn into her enjoying weight lifting and wanting to do that with you and then it's no longer a YOU thing. But it sounds more like she needs the social aspect of working out which is what classes and walking/jogging/running groups are great for, weight lifting not so much. I mean my best friend and I would go to the gym together and do our cardio next to each other (headphones in so we're in our own zone) and then lift weights on the machines together as well. But we'd still have our headphones in pretty much ignoring each other for the most part. We'd occasionally pop out an ear bud to tell each other something and then just as quickly pop it back in and move on with our workout.

    But other than that, I think your wife is just being ridiculous about all of this and y'all should probably go back to your happy separate workout lives.
  • katysmelly
    katysmelly Posts: 380 Member
    Options
    I think your wife is out of order on this one. She seems to resent you having time to yourself or something.

    I would hope that you could resolve it by saying "OK, I'm going to lift... you go do whatever and we'll meet up and stretch/do abs together, then go grab (fave healthy take-away) and eat it while watching Big Bang Theory like we always do..." I mean, that should satisfy her need for "date night" but also give you the space to do what you need to do.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    Options
    1) You're hilarious

    2) I think you handled it very well

    3) Zumba isn't that bad (I don't dance either but I love Zumba). Maybe you could offer her a compromise: you will do Zumba with her one time (and explain to her that you'd rather die young, hand-less, and fat than do that but you love her THAT MUCH) if she will let you lift weights in peace.

    I think this is a good suggestion. I know Zumba isn't really for guys but maybe it'd show her your willing to compromise and do something 'workout' related with her. If it's too terrible to endure then maybe set certain days (on your off days) to run/do cardio with her.

    Tough situation. Good Luck!
  • rjo921
    rjo921 Posts: 130
    Options
    I am with you.....when I work out I want to be alone to do my thing. If you want to go with me then fine...but don't expect me to talk to you or hang around. I am there to get my stuff done and that's that. Tell your wife to go find a girlfriend to go play with at the gym.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    Options
    I always worked out with my last long-term partner, but I made sure we discussed our expectations beforehand. We spent our time training for the 5k I did last November, so it was a lot of walking and jogging intervals - all timed to track pace and performance and work on breathing, etc. Some days, I would say, "Look Paul, I feel like my *kitten* is made of lead elephants. I'm going to put my headphones on. k?" He would just smile and nod and know that that was what I needed right then and there. Sometimes, I would tell him to meet me an hour later than normal just to give me some time to myself. I asked him to go to zumba with me a couple of times. He told me no. I wasn't offended.... he's a person and deserves to workout however he chooses. I've never had someone flip their *kitten* on me with regard to working out. If they don't wanna... they don't wanna and it's none of my business. Of course, if they say they want to when they really don't and just say it to appease me then half-*kitten* a workout, I'd be miffed.
  • gtwin
    gtwin Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    Great story!! Although, I would never suggest my boyfriend/husband join me in a Zumba class. One, I think it's the corniest class ever....two, a man should NEVER be caught in a Zumba class. It's a lot like a man drinking a martini or any fruity drink....it's just wrong.

Categories