If you are an only child please open-quick question

donnarichards83

I'm an only child and always wanted a brother or sister for company and I think in later life as a friend....I never knew my Dad so my family is now my mum, nan, one uncle and 2 cousins. I would love a big family!

Alamangelalam

I am an only child and I knew I didn't want that for my own child. It does get lonely, it also makes you stronger in some ways. I didn't want the memories our family makes to belong to only one person. Mine are 2 1/2 years apart so I can't comment on any age gap issues - and I've heard both sides as I'm sure you have too - but the trips we take, the movies / events / concerts /, the little every day things - at least when they're older and my husband and I have passed on, there's 2 people who can say to each other "hey remember the time we did ..." or "remember how momma / daddy did . . . ". Regardless of the gap having two people to help you spark memories no one else in the world would know - and the love that comes from that is priceless. Just my opinion.

keiraev

I am not an only child I have a brother who is very close in age and although I love him, we fought like cat and dog when we were children!

Some really good friends of mine are only children and they are some of the most well balanced people I know in life so I think it all depends on how you bring up your child/children and not how many you have.

I am 33 and have no kids (yet!) but I don't think we will be able to afford more than one, and the chances of me having another one after the one we haven't had yet are getting slimmer by the year, so I think I will be happy even if we just have an only child...

binariiangel

I always wanted a sibling, and I finally got a little brother when I was 13. I now have 2 sisters, and 4 brothers, as well as a step brother, and a brother-in-law. I still love all my siblings, and its nice having a sibling.

sisierra

I definitely am not an only child, but I am the baby. My sister is three years older than me and my brothers are 9 and 10 years older than me. I love my sister more than anything in this world, and I'm super glad I have her. I mean I have friends and everything, but no one can compare to my big sis. As for my brothers, we're pretty close. But that gap has made a difference in our relationship. I feel as we grow older we get somewhat closer, but it won't hold a candle to the relationship i have with my sis

Allie_71

I loved being an only child. I got a lot of attention, love, and didn't have to baby sit or share my toys. Or pretend to lose at scrabble, or monopoly. No one broke my stuff. Or called me fathead or took up all the bed.

No, wait, I have a sister, scratch that. :P

Heh. Both have its merits. I always had a playmate, a confidant, and someone who looked up to me. And now, a good friend.

We scrapped like wet angry cats though, growing up

kristen6022

I LOVE being an only child. I never once, even younger, felt I was missing something. It made me a very independent, strong woman. Only have another if you want another. Don't feel you are damaging your daughter if you don't.

I have several other only children friends (we tend to stick together) and they say the same things. One even had to deal with a dying father last year. Even though hard, his mom and him were the only ones that had to make decisions. Less fighting, less stress.

I learned to play well on my own and had several friends growing up that had 3-4 siblings. If I got bored I went to their house. Usually within 2-3 hours I was on the phone crying to come home! LOL

NoAdditives

Quick Poll please!

My fiancee and I are undecided if we want to have another little one, our daughter is months away from turning 6 and keeps asking for a baby sister.

**Question: As an only child, did you prefer it just being you and your parent(s) or would you have liked to have a sibling?**

Disclosure: The results of your opinions are not a binding contract as to whether or not I get knocked up again

Thank you in advance for your help!

I have always hated being an only child. I may have enjoyed it a little when I was a selfish teenager because it meant I got a lot of stuff and didn't have to share. But, I have always wanted a sibling. I was always very lonely as a kid. I haven't known too many other only children, I was always very jealous of my friends who had little sisters.

I have three kids and I love that they have siblings. I have two girls, 3 1/2 years (Audrey) and 3 1/2 months (Vivienne), and one boy, 2 years tomorrow (Harrison). Audrey and Harrison are best friends and have been since he could crawl and sit up. They both adore Vivienne. I know they will always be best friends, mainly because of the small age gaps. I also love that they can go play with each other and I get a little bit of peace and quiet. Mostly, I love that they will never be alone. They will always have each other.

The only thing about having kids with such a big age gap is that they may not be close friends until much later in life. My husband is 4 1/2 years older than his sister and they didn't become friends until they were both adults. While they were growing up they had nothing in common, they never played with each other.

MelanieL1984

I was not an only child. I had one sister that was 2 years younger than me! I loved it. Having someone to goof off with someone to be home alone w/ during the summers when we were old enough. Building forts in the living room w/ blankets and chairs. Knowing that no one will share the same experiences growing up as you and your sibling.

I have 4 children now. I LOVE it. I love the interaction. I love the different personalities. I love everything about it. I refused to have only one child. One of the reasons I have refused to do so is because of my experiences as a nurse. I have seen too many times that when something happens to a parent (health-wise) and say the other one has passed away. Everything is left on that child to manage. The decisions, etc. They don't have much to turn to for help or support. Some family and friends would be there, but NO ONE can share the connection like a sibling. I'm sorry for bringing that scenario up, but I am being realistic.

My daughter and son are 5 years apart. I love it. She is like a little momma! If you were worried about the age gap... have 2 close together : )

kelif5959

I have been both a sibling AND an only child. My sister died when I was 12 and even though we fought a lot as we got older (she was 5 years older) I would prefer that over being an only child! At least I have the memories! Good luck with your decision!

lilRicki

Not an only child, and please don't be offended, but IME only children have a problem with being entitled. I just got out of a 3 year realtionship with one. a 29 year old man, didn't know how to stand on his own two feet without his mommy and daddy helping him and they "SHOULD DAMN IT!"

I have 1 son, and his sense of entitlement is outstanding. Everything should be done for him while he sits and plays his video games. I don't want another child however, one is enough for me (and even then he's my step-son). If you want another child, go ahead...I'm 8 years younger than my oldest sister, and although she is my "mother" figure, she still takes care of me even though I'm 31 years old. Age difference doesn't really matter, they're both still in the house, and at least you can get a little help when you're trying to take care of the baby.

_Christine_

I liked being an only child until I got older. I wish I had the connection I see in my sister in laws. I wish I could have someone to lean on now that my parents are retired. And no doubt I'll be wishing for help when big decisions have to be made.
I have 3 children and seeing them play makes me wish I had had that. But I make friends easily, that might be one of the benefits to being an only. We find and hang on to others better than most.


*Whole lot of wishing up there. LOL!

jazziesaj11

I agree with with a couple people above said, it's kinda two sided. I have two half brothers, one that is 9 years older than me and one that is 7 years younger than me. I never became close to either of them due to the age gap in fact, I don't honestly have many memories of being close to them ever. My older brother was out of school by the time I was started middle school, and is now marries with 2 kids. Our most recent conversation was over the phone 6 months ago, " Hello? oh yeah I'm fine, you? Oh okay, here's mom." LOL As for my younger brother... Haven't spoken to him in years. On one hand I loved that I had all the attention to myself, didn't have to share anything and the house was pretty much quiet (I'm an introvert). On the other hand I often wonder how different things would have been with the huge crazy family and siblings to share things with. All in all though, I'm actually really happy that (for the most part) I was an only child. I think that's a huge reason for my creativity and studious side, my mom and I are super close, and I like the person I became today. However, each person/kid are different, just depends on the personality I guess. But really.... If you want another kid, just go for it. ;D I doubt it would do any harm more than good. Good luck either way!

_HeyMommy_

I, like a couple of others, grew up basically as an only child since my sister is 13 yrs older.
We didnt really have a suoer close relationship since she moved out and got married when i was like 7..
so i really dont remember much sibling time. But now.. we couldnt be any closer, she is one of my best friends
and even though we live a state and a half away.. we talk almost everyday. I guess i got the best of both worlds.

My son was suppose to be an only child... as you can see from my pic, god had other plans. :0)

HeidiMightyRawr

When I was around your daughters age, and slightly older, I REALLY wanted a sibling. As I got older though I quite liked being an only child, no sibling to annoy me when I just wanted peace, more time with my parents etc etc I liked doing my own thing as well, so a new baby brother or sister would've ruined that.
That said, if I was younger when they came along I probably would've adapted, as children do. I don't think anybody (or many people) resent that their parents gave them a sibling, even if they don't always get on.

Also, when I was 8/9 years old, my mum and I lived with my aunt and 2 cousins (when my parents split) for a year. After that I used to stay round my friends house after school everyday for like 2 years (they had 4 kids) so I've had the experience of living with other children for a short while. I wouldn't say all I remembered were bad times, there were many times I'd get annoyed and what to be by myself, but then I enjoyed a lot of times too.

Secret_Agent_007

I was an only child and I was bored to death every time it wasn't nice enough outside for the other kids to wanna come out and play. That was a deciding factor in having two kids for me.

Having said that, by the time your new born is old enough to play the older one won't want to bother.

SirBen81

I am an only child. I can say that being an only child made me learn how to find ways to amuse myself when I was a child, since I never had a brother or sister to play. The downside of this is that when I became older I didn't see much use for having friends because I could have just as much fun alone as I could with other people. Therefore I didn't really have any desire to meet new people, and it wasn't because I was shy, I just didn't see any reason to. So that made me a little anti-social. Still am today, but I don't recognize that as being a bad thing like most people do, it just makes me different.

Qarol

I was sort of an "only child". My brother is 10 years older than me, so even now we don't really talk.

This somewhat for me. I was 9 when my brother was born. So I spent half my life as an only child. He annoyed me for years when he was a young child. But then in his teens, we got closer. He got a totally different childhood than I did. My parents divorced when I was 19. Then my mom remarried and moved to England. He was just a kid. It really changed him, I think. He's a lot more guarded and reserved than he used to be. We're still close. And we're getting that closeness back that we once had. But it's slow.

elynnuh

I'm an only child and growing up, I preferred it that way. Now that I'm living on my own and starting my own family, I kind of wish I had a sibling or two. I think of when my parents will be dead and gone and I won't have anyone, my family is very small. I struggle with the decision to have another child so my daughter will have a sibling as well.

sassyshook

that is a hard question becuase people who are only children have no clue whats it like to have siblings. I love my brother and would not want to grow up without a sibling. Of course My child is an only child and I have found that he looks to me to be a playmate and doesn't understand sometimes why I have to clean house or something instead of play. I wish I could give him siblings but, I guess thats not whats in store for me because he is now 10 and no siblings for him still. I say have another child.

gwenmf

I would have loved having a sibling. Even now, caring for my elderly mom it would be nice to have someone to help. Everything is up to only me. Surprise 75 birthday party - my planning, my cost. Keeping her entertained - she lives with me. I don't MIND any of that but it's better shared I think. Also, I'm always envious with others talking about stories they share from growing up together. I had to play boardgames by my self!!! lol Pets can only help SO much....When I got married I wanted at least 2 - and that's what I got. And I like that they have each other - to talk to, to be there for, to share things. They are grown and married but they still are close and still help each other thru life issues just by listening and having someone to talk with. Hope that helps!

galegetsthin

I didn't mind being an only child. I had a lot of friends and cousins that kinda substituted. My mother was an only child, so was I and so is my daughter...... it is kinda a family trait for us! I work very hard to not let her be spoiled and understand value of earning what you have. I make a LOT of time for social interaction and have her in a couple of activites as well.

I will say though, that as my parents are aging, I am growing concern over how to handle them on my own.........

k2quiere

I was an only child for 13 years. I wanted a sibling until about age 10, and then when my sisters were born, I felt more like they were my children rather than playmates.

kibby12

Loved, loved, loved it.

I was, by far, the most imaginative kid in my class. The wacky tv shows my parents raised me on (Get Smart, Dark Shadows -- even the movie IT, which was my stupid mistake to sneak in & watch!) I turned into really fun playground games for our little group. I devoured books when I got bored. Made my own radio show with the tape recorder they bought me.

Schnuddelbuddel

Quick Poll please!

My fiancee and I are undecided if we want to have another little one, our daughter is months away from turning 6 and keeps asking for a baby sister.

**Question: As an only child, did you prefer it just being you and your parent(s) or would you have liked to have a sibling?**

Disclosure: The results of your opinions are not a binding contract as to whether or not I get knocked up again

Thank you in advance for your help!

Being an only child sucks. I am one.

Now, don't get me wrong, it was fun at times - undivided attention and whatnot, but what has to be considered and many don't seem to consider, is the other end of the spectrum as well as having siblings to run amok with. (and seriously, as much as my friends gave out about their siblings, I still am jealous of the closeness they all have!!!)

I dread the day when my parents will die. I suppose everyone does, but I won't have anyone to be there with me. Yes, I have my husband and my own 4 kids, but that's not the same. It'll all be up to me. Arrangements and whatnot. I really, truly wish I wasn't an only child.

Being an only child, for me, was and is another kind of loneliness.

just my tuppenceworth. In the end, what matters is what you decide yourselves and you need to make a decision you can be happy with

iwantahealthierme13

I was sorta an only child (from 12 on) my brother is 12 years older than me, I loved it

Also, there's no guarantee you'll have another girl will your daughter be just as happy with a brother?

carolann_22

My best friend is an only child, and I think the very hardest thing for her was when she lost her mother and father in the same year - then she was all alone. She said she really wished she had a sibling to get through that loss with.

Tiff587

My brother and I have a 9 year age gap, we are best friends!
It was wonderful growing up with someone who would always be there for me, we have supported each other through ups and downs and I even moved in with him during a rough time. There is hardly a week we don't catch up. I think everyone is different and I was lucky, but I am so pleased to have him.

WarriorMom2012

I'm an only child and I always wished I had siblings. My upbringing was rough and it would have been nice to have allies. Now, my mother is sick and I'm the only one she has. It would be nice to have someone to share this with.

I had 3 kids because I never wanted my child to grow up alone and feel the way I did.

Sp1nGoddess

I'm not an only kid but I have an only kid.. I wanted 2 but I was not in a good place in my marriage at the time and it was not meant to be.

My son wishes he had a brother - he's 10 now.

I have friends whose sons are further apart and they currently fight all the time, but as they get older I'm sure they will be closer.

Having an only means we get to do more because we have more money. But we also have to set up 'play dates' etc. My son has lot's of friends and sleep overs etc.