If you are an only child please open-quick question

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Replies

  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
    I LOVED being an only child. Never wanted a little brother or sister.

    My fiance has a sister & she made his/our life hell. Same with my ex's brother
    I've actually promised myself that if this relationship doesn't work out, I will NEVER date anyone who has any siblings, because of how much of an issue I've had with extended family D:
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I'll give my opinion since it seems like you need just one more. I was an only child, and I loved it. It had nothing to do with my parents, and I only had one of those anyway. I think if I'd had a sibling or siblings I would have enjoyed that too. You grow up with whatever you have or don't have, and you kinda don't know any differently. Even though I was close to other people, even sisterly - it's not the same as actually having a sister. Whatever you choose, your child will be fine with it.
  • daryls
    daryls Posts: 260
    As a child it was great - I got all the attention and all the presents. Still, it definitely has its benefits. But, if my husband didn't have siblings, I would have totally missed out on being an aunt.

    There are positives and negatives - but I never asked my parents for a sibling :)
  • ErinNichole76
    ErinNichole76 Posts: 52 Member
    I was an only child until I was 6 then my parents adopted 3 older kids, partially at my request. Dad was in the Navy and we just moved across the country. I thought having brothers & a sister would mean I always had friends and people to play barbies with. Unfortunately they grew out of playing with barbies within that first year. And because I was always tagging around with the 'big kids' they got so annoyed with me. Just after my 16th birthday I found myself as an only child again as the older kids had all moved out and basically cut ties with the family.

    Thankfully since I was about 4 I have had the same best friend. Even though we lived across the country for a while during those younger years and we live half way across the country from each other now, we are closer than most sisters I know. We had a nice 30 minute conversation today and were still able to finish each other's sentences.

    I think if your daughter has a few good close friends you can suggest to her that 'friends are the sisters destiny forgot to give you' or 'Friends are the family you pick for yourself' should you decide not to give her a younger sibling.
  • carrotstick2012
    carrotstick2012 Posts: 161
    You just don't know about how an unknown, at this time, sibling is going to work out. They could get on really well or they might just not be the greatest of friends. Even if they get on well they may choose to live on opposite ends of the planet when they are grown. If you are going to have another child you should do it because you want to, not for your child. Sibling relationships do provide growth and development opportunities but they can be got elsewhere as well. My parents had a sibling for me so we could have a relationship as adults - and we live in different countries and have radically different lives with little in common.
  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
    If you are going to have another child you should do it because you want to, not for your child.

    I agree this should be first and foremost!
  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
    I have an older brother and we were really close. However, I only have and will only have 1 child. He is 3. He goes to school and is extremely social (he got the set of genes I missed out on.) Sometimes I feel guilty about him not having a brother or sister, but I really think he will be okay. I feel I can provide a better life (physically, emotionally and financially) to 1 child instead of more. I have ZERO patience and I just can not imagine having more than 1 child. My son is pretty awesome (custom ordered from the man upstairs) so I don't want to temp fate. So, I'm good with it. Plus, if I ever get a wild hair, I just get another dog. No big deal! LOL!
  • GlitterGoldJem
    GlitterGoldJem Posts: 73 Member
    I'm an only child and I freakin loved it. I was never bored, lonely, depressed or felt like I "missed" something or someone. Siblings don't work in my family, my parents both had older brothers that were complete bast*ards so they "stopped the cycle" and only had me. My parents were excellent in my upbringing, I always say they need to write a book. I never played with video games, I had an imagination and used it. I did get mostly everything I wanted but I am by no means spoiled or act like an only child. I'm friendly, loving, caring, love to share, have a ton of friends, etc.

    Being an only child is a great thing in my book! When I get married I'll probably have more than one child but that's just because I love kids. :-)
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
    I am an only child. I wish that I had a brother or sister.
    I feel that many life lessons are learned through sibling relationships.
    As a psych student, I've learned that siblings often process their parental relationships with one another.
    Also, when my parent gets older, I am the only one who will be able to take care of her.

    That being said, I don't regret being an only child. I had a great childhood.
  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
    I was fine with not having a sibling. I now have a step brother and sister and a half sister but they didn't come into the picture till I was 22. I liked growing up alone, but I also like having siblings now.

    7 Years is a good long time between kids though. Don't expect them to be each others best friends.
  • courtxoney
    courtxoney Posts: 59 Member
    when i was younger i always wanted a younger brother.

    but now that i'm older, i definitely like being an only child.
  • farm_mamaX9
    farm_mamaX9 Posts: 67
    You will never regret having another child. You just might regret not having another.

    I've never met an elderly person who regretted having any of their children, but I have met some who regretted not having more.
  • Woodzoo813
    Woodzoo813 Posts: 3 Member
    I grew up with just me and my parents.(adopted) I do know many of my sisters and brothers (birth) on both sides of the family. We are not close like we might have been if we were raised together but I love them dearly. It really helps to have someone even if they are years younger or not real close(emotionally) when the parents (adoped and birth) are elderly or pass away. There is someone to connect to. You are not totally alone in the world.
  • Ange03063
    Ange03063 Posts: 55 Member
    I'm an only child and as of right now, my 3-year-old son is an only child. Speaking as an only chid, there are positives and negatives. On the plus side, I think it forced me to become a more independent person. On the down side, holidays were always the worst because not only was I an only child, but the only child in the family until my cousin was born when I was 12. I didn't have anyone to play with. Also, if I was having a difficult time, I didn't have a brother or sister to confide in.

    I'm not planning on having my son be an only child. Our family just moved from MA to MD and once we're more settled, then I think we're going to try to have another child. It's tough for me to see him playing by himself when we're at home and wish he had a little playmate.
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    I loved being an only child.
    I think back now and just think about how much I would hate if I had a sibling.

    Make me more outgoing since I had to make my own friends.
    I don't get compared to siblings or anything.
    I find that I'm a pretty strong person and I opened up to my parents more then my friends with siblings did (since they just talked to their sibs, where I talked to my mom about things)
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    I have always considered myself to be an only child. I have a half sister from my dad's first marriage. She's never lived with me and we have a fairly big age difference. We were never close when we were younger. She was actually quite cruel to me many times and spread lots of lies about me and my mom. I never considered her to be a sister until now and even then... I'm still not sold on it.

    So as someone who never grew up without a sibling, I don't think I'd have it any other way. It forced me to be independent, creative and strong. I think it really helped shape me for the adult I am today.
  • HeinzPrincess
    HeinzPrincess Posts: 92
    Lonely only! I begged for a sibling. People always say they are surprised I am an only child because I share well ;)
  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
    Growing up, I was perfectly happy being an Only and never wanted a sibling. I enjoyed being spoiled and remember having nightmares that my parents decided to have another baby.

    However, my Mom died when I was 21 and I've never felt so lonely. I would give anything to have a sibling to lean on, to have someone know exactly what the pain feels like of losing a parent, which is why I have two kids.
  • stomachflu
    stomachflu Posts: 134 Member
    My mother was an only child, My father has a sister that he hasn't spoken to in over 40 years. I am an only child. Never regretted it.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    maybe you should base your decision on what you can actually take care and afford instead of what child #1 may or may not want?

    i liked being an only child but there were times i would have liked a sibling. my parents did the smart thing and just got me a dog

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