If you are an only child please open-quick question

FITnFIRM4LIFE

Only child and I had only 1 child. Sure there were times you wanted them, but we always want what we dont have.
I was perfectly happy and my son seemed to be fine as well. we just kept him busy sports, friends and family

I turned out great....This response is being transmitted from a federal prison...just kidding:-) All good being an only child:-)

EBaca140

i enjoyed being an only child-I wasn't spoiled-we were too poor for that!!-but looking back I know that if my mum would have had another child we wouldn't have been able to do a lot of the things we did manage to do together...i did ask for a baby sister from time to time but I got over it.
The age gap may or may not be an issue for your kiddos- I have 18, 16, 5, and 3 and the older two ADORE the younger two-don't much like each other though!!
Best of luck to you whatever you decide

NICOLED73

*** One other downside, is that I will NEVER know what its like to have a real niece or nephew of my own, which makes me a bit sad!

ohhh noo i didn't think of that!!

Exactly. My sis died before she had children. She was only married for 6 weeks. I have 3 children and they do not have any cousins on my side of the family, nor do I have my own nieces or nephews. Family get togethers on my side are small.

Terrymichelle

I am so glad you asked this question. I am in a similar situation. I have my son who is 6 and is ALWAYS asking for brother or sister(he wants a brother haha) We feel awful because we aren't ready to have another. When we do decide to have another they will be around 8 or 9 years apart. I think its kind of like having two seperate families but I feel like they will be close throughout their time together but as adults will be great siblings. At least thats what we are hoping for. You can also have two in a row to try and prevent the other one(possibliy) from feeling like they are an only child once the older one leaves the nest. I hope this helps!

butjuli

I see a lot of arguments saying that they grew up independent due to being an only child. While this is true, I don't think that having siblings makes you necessarily less independent. I have two brothers, one 5 years older, and one two years younger. I've always been extremely independent, and took my own roads. I can't remember many times I called up my brother and asked for some life advice (besides taxes, he's good at them ;-) ). I think the age gap made us not as close, but I know I can depend on him if I really needed it. My younger brother and I have always been extremely close. We fought like cats and dogs as kids, and we fight like cats and dogs now. But at the end of the day, he is my favorite kid in the whole world, and I would do anything for him. I can't imagine not having grown up with siblings. I'm in my older brother's wedding this Summer, and after that I'm looking forward to being an aunt someday!! =]

DanielleRN8

Thanks That's why I am starting to panic, I was actually preparing to get rid of all of our daughters old clothes and such and the commitment of not having these baby necessities scares me. Although, fiancee and I are both undecided and I feel like if we aren't 100% all about it, it's not a good idea.

I feel the same way as you. My husband and I had our little boy 17 months ago and are on the fence about having another one. I've talked to some people about it and some say "what if you don't have another one and he has the burden of taking care of you guys by himself when y'all are old?" This came from some friends who just found out their mother has breast cancer and they are glad they have each other (sisters) to lean on. I was raised in a very large family and I loved that I always had someone to play with. Then I went into foster care to a family who only had one boy and he was ecstatic to have a sibling finally! We are five years apart but we are still pretty close to this day. It is a tough decision but I have to agree, you and your hubby need to be absolutely sure. Which is where me and my husband are stuck... Good luck to both of us!

WENDYGOETSCH

I'm an only child, and as a child I always asked for a brother or sister. But once I started getting older, I appreciated being an only child. It's one of those things, that you always want what you don't have. My friends always thought it would be sooo lucky to be an only child, while I dreamed about wanting a sibling. I now apperciate not having any siblings and your child will too if you choose not to have any more children.

CheleLynn44

I was not an only child but we have o ky one daughter. She just turned 13 and we love our life with her. I can say there are times when she still asks for a sibling (nit gonna happen). I know we have raised a very intelligent, caring, loving child who knows she is very lucky.

We made the decision to only have one child it wasn't made for us and over the years I have had comments made, and funny looks when people ask why only one?? But me and my husband know it was the right decision for our family.

There are very few times that my daughter doesn't gave something to do, she us always being invited places. And hearing from other parents what a joy she us to have over makes us smile.

I did worry ALOT about her being spoiled growing up and I have to say she probably is, by us and her grandparents. But she is not a spoiled brat by any means. She knows she is lucky and she is very caring and loves to share. She has her chores that she has to do and does not get an allowance for doing them. We believe she does her chores because she is part of the family and we all have our chores to do which makes our household run smoothly.

Whatever you decide it will be right for your family!!

DonM46

I'm an only child; married an only child; we have an only child.
Growing up, there were plenty of neighbor kids to play with. There was no competition for parental affection, no sibling competition in sports or academics. {I was valedictorian of my HS class.} There were no fights about what TV shows to watch.
Our son got the undivided attention of the grandparents (and ours as parents).
Of course, it's less expensive to raise ONE child, if that's a consideration.
The 'down side' came around when my parents and my wife's parents passed away. We had ALL the responsibility of our parents' affairs. That might be a plus, however, because there were no arguments about what to do or how to do it, and there were no sibling fights about who inherited what.
Now, it's just the three of us, so family reunions can be held in a closet. My wife and I have prepaid our funerals and have our wills current to make it easy on our son.
I wouldn't change a thing.

KPaden1221

i am an only child and i loved/hated it.. i never had anyone to play with and then I didn't play with kids in school bc i was so used to playing alone i talked to myself alot and still to this day i find i like doing stuff alone more so than with people.. also and this is kinda the morbid side of it.. when my parents get older and need someone to take care of them, i'm gonna have to do it on my own with no help.. (not saying that i wouldn't do what is needed bc i will do whatever it takes) other than the hubs.. but also my mom had several miscarriages before and after me so that is also hard for me.. when i was 4 she lost a little boy (he was born and lived a few days and I knew him) so i miss my brother..

R2dragonVSG

I have a unique view on this subject for you, I was raised both with a sister then without her, she passed away when I was ten, so having seen both sides of the fence and now I have four wonderful children of my own I'm all about children are Gods blessing shared with us on earth. Keep in mind I have a 16 yr old boy, 14 yr old boy, 5 yr old boy, and my angel my 3 yr old girl.

seebeachrun

I have the benefit of being both an only child and the eldest child. My baby sister was born the year before I graduated high school. There are 17 years between our ages and we have no siblings in between us. Currently, I am 28 and she is 11.

Growing up I really appreciated being an only child. I don't remember feeling lonely at all. I had a close bond to both of my parents, especially my mom, and it continues to this day. I talk to both of my parents at least once per week. I was able to try every sport and after school activity from Girl Scouts to softball to bowling to teen court. I never had to share time with my parents with another sibling and all of my accomplishments were grandly celebrated.

As an adult I miss the potential bond I could have had with a sibling. It does sadden me to think that when my parents die I won't have any other close family members to spend holidays with. You cannot guarantee that your kids will get along as children much less adults but it would be nice to have a sister closer to my age that I could call up and laugh about something silly my mom did (like dye her hair red!) It also would be nice to have a sibling to share the responsibility of taking care of my parents when they are older; again, you cannot guarantee that a sibling will have money or want to help out.

As my sister gets older we share a special bond that is closer to a cool, younger aunt and niece than sisters. We had a recent phone conversation where our mom was in the background yelling at my sister about packing for vacation. My mom and my sister disagree on outfits to pack for vacation and both of them stubborn as mules so they argue back and forth constantly. I asked my sister if she knew the secret to getting mom to stop yelling. She said she didn't. I told her to stop arguing and agree with the outfits mom picked out for the vacation. Then when mom has calmed down and goes to pack her own bag, I told my sister to pick three or four outfits and stuff them in the bottom of her bag. She laughed.

So long as having another child isn't going to cause major financial trouble and you make sure to celebrate both children's accomplishments and special qualities equally, I don't see the downside to having more than one child. Not to say having an only child is a bad idea because I don't know that I could personally handle more than one child.

ambrwaves27

I am glad I was an only child as I am very independent. I have two girls now and it is REALLY hard to relate to the sibling rilvary. Last night it was because one wanted a fan on and the other didnt. They have seperate rooms. seriously. errrr

evelyngrice

I love being an only child.

I find I have a really good relationship with my Mum because all her attention was on me, we know everything about each other and I was her main focus

*This is just personal experience.

Kell_Smurthwaite

I'm not an only child, but I hope you don' t mind me answering too. There's a 4 year gap between me and my sister and although we were kind of indifferent to eac hother as kids, and then hated each other as teens, once I moved out to college, we started getting on a lot better and she's now my best friend (ans she says the same of me). I wouldn't be without her. M ylittle boy is 3 1/2 now and we'd love to give him a sibling, but we've been trying for just over 2 years with no luck so far. He adores babies and several of his friends have little brothers or sisters now, and he'd like one of his own (or so he says!). We still hope to comply with his wishes, but in the meantime, he has our undivided attention. He still mixes well with other children, is independent, imaginative and bright as a button.

galegetsthin

Not an only child, and please don't be offended, but IME only children have a problem with being entitled. I just got out of a 3 year realtionship with one. a 29 year old man, didn't know how to stand on his own two feet without his mommy and daddy helping him and they "SHOULD DAMN IT!"

That depends totally on the parents though. I was taught that I needed to do it on my own. I have never asked for help and dont think I would take it if offered.

Alex_is_Hawks

My wife and I have prepaid our funerals and have our wills current to make it easy on our son.
I wouldn't change a thing.

This is something else that I find is a plus for being an only child.

Being the oldest of 5 siblings, while my parents were very affluent, they still had FIVE kids to put through school etc...sometimes I worry if they will be cushioned enough should they need long term care, nursing homes, are their final affairs in order? Will we all argue about who does what when they pass? and who gets what? yes...yes we will...i can say that already.

however as a parent of an only child, I can already tell you that my estate will very generously afford my daughter a life of ease, even if I do end up in long term care. my final expenses are covered and I will be financially able to put her through the school of her choice, buy her a car and give her a great start in life.

so that i'm pretty proud of and I know I couldn't have done that had I had more than one child.

L

AlbaAngel25

i have one child and i love it, but im debating on having one more or not ! will be stalking this thread

MaryBowen27

I have an older brother, and personally I couldn't imagine being an only child. One of old friends is an only child and she ended up spoiled, selfish and dependent. However, of course theres the whole nature versus nuture issue.

I think if you do have a single child, you just have to inherency work harder for them to understand sharing, selflessness, etc.

Celeigh12

It was good as a child - no sharing, all the attention on me, etc. but now that I'm older it's harder. My mom died a year ago and I really wished I had someone to share that burden with besides my dad.