If you are an only child please open-quick question

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  • hagamivida
    hagamivida Posts: 129
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    Would have liked someone else, but I got more than enough attention. I was quite pleased as an only child and I think I'd have been equally pleased with a sibling.
  • joauri
    joauri Posts: 10 Member
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    I am an only child. I am very grateful to be an only child. My parents were able to put extra effort (and money) into my education and upbringing that I feel would not have been there had they had another child. When I was young, I wanted a sibling to play with desperately.

    However, now I have two daughters almost three years apart and they fight like crazy. There will be days where they do nothing but play together and others they can't get far enough away from each other. It is strange.
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
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    I think it is a travesty for children to not have any siblings.

    As a child it is important to learn to love others and share, and siblings are a great opportunity for this. As you age, having siblings can open up the possibility that your own children will have their own family (cousin's, etc) as well.

    There are so many important reasons for a child to have siblings, I could go on and on. The only reason against it is: so the one kid can have more stuff, and the parents don't have to work as hard.

    Family is one of the great joys in life; the more the merrier (within reason, DUGGARS).
  • jenniebean1680
    jenniebean1680 Posts: 351 Member
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    when I was growing up, I always wanted a sibling. Now I'm happy as an only.

    The thing is, because I spent so much time just w/ my parents and their friends, it meant I didn't really identify with many other kids my age until late highschool. No real loss to me right now, but I did feel very "other" back then. But if you and the fiance have friends or family w/ kids that should help w/ that.

    In response to the post about benefiting from advice from a sibling in our adult years, I agree, however, having just lost my Mom last June, having the estate stuff fall only on my shoulders was, in some ways, a blessing. No arguing about who gets what, no waiting for sibling to sign some document or other, etc. That said, my father is a real piece of work, emotional trainwreck, etc... So to have someone to share that burden with would be nice.

    I think there are perks and drawbacks to both!
  • amymt10
    amymt10 Posts: 271 Member
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    I'm not an only child but I can the age gap between siblings doesnt always matter. My youngest brother and I are 9 yrs apart. He followed me everywhere when he was little and I loved it. When he was a teenager we didnt do much together but now that he is 26 and I'm 35 the age gap doesnt matter, we get along great and hang out. I actually have less in common w/my other brother and he is 14mos younger than me, him and I dont speak. We just dont get along!
  • chcoley
    chcoley Posts: 63 Member
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    I'm an only child and so is my husband. We both agree we would have liked to have a sibling (which is why we have three little girls!).
  • sphenisciforme
    sphenisciforme Posts: 25
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    I'm another only child. My parents moved house a lot, so I didn't get to have any friends for more than a couple of years at a time either. My parents were always busy with their business, so school summer holidays were when I got to spend 6 straight weeks with no-one to talk to: I hated it and always wanted a sibling. I have 3 children - there was no way I was going to inflict being an only child on any child of mine.
  • fitacct
    fitacct Posts: 241 Member
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    I am an only child and I had an only child. When I was young, I had lots of friends and relatives my age to play with yet I longed for a sibling. This was true even as I got older as I saw my friends and family form close bonds with their brothers and sisters. Then again, I wasn't caught up in sibling rivalry and all the drama that brings. I guess it is like a double-edged sword. I do enjoy my alone time but feel, and have always felt, like something was missing. I always said I would never have an only child and, yet, I did...not by choice, but circumstance. My "child", who is an adult now, is a loner and because of having an extremely small extended family here, I feel he has missed out on the joys a larger family and siblings would have provided.
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    I'm a true only child. My mom was an only child as well, and my dad had one sibling.

    I have never once regretted not having a sibling, or wished that my parents had another child. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say that I preferred being an only child - but it simply was what it was, and my childhood was great. I did make friends with another only child when I was 5, and we're still very close to this day.

    I will say my folks made sure I joined a lot of things to get friends my own age, and you would never call me shy. I am also closer to my parents then most people I know, but I'm not sure if that's a product of being an only child or a testament to how awesome my parents are (the latter is certainly true).

    I will say - fiscally - I got to do a lot more things, stay in college a lot longer with the aide of parents, go on trips overseas - study abroad - all of that - because I was an only child. My parents were free to spend the money on me - which was pretty awesome. If you called that spoiled - maybe it is - by spoiling a child on experiences that made me more culturally aware of my world was pretty great. I did NOT get all the toys I wanted - no spoilage there - but if I wanted to travel or try something new - the backing was there.
  • saturnine15
    saturnine15 Posts: 140
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    I am an only child. I can say that being an only child made me learn how to find ways to amuse myself when I was a child, since I never had a brother or sister to play. The downside of this is that when I became older I didn't see much use for having friends because I could have just as much fun alone as I could with other people. Therefore I didn't really have any desire to meet new people, and it wasn't because I was shy, I just didn't see any reason to. So that made me a little anti-social. Still am today, but I don't recognize that as being a bad thing like most people do, it just makes me different.

    Like I said before, I do have a significantly younger brother, but I definitely have the above qualities. I don't dislike other people- I just sometimes forget that people want and NEED friends to be around them regularly. The needing part doesn't register in my brain at all. I do have friends, but I usually met them through significant others and generally have infrequent contact. I have never had a lifelong best friend (I moved a lot growing up). This was something that was actually hard for me to understand when I met my husband. He has three brothers and best friends he NEEDS to see. That sort of thing just didn't compute for a while. Only children, or people who spent most of their childhood without siblings are usually the only ones who understand this sentiment.
  • marathonmom72
    marathonmom72 Posts: 191 Member
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    I always wanted a sibling, as a child. Now that I am an adult, I envy the relationship my husband has with his siblings and wish that was something I could have experienced. The other thing I am realizing, as an adult, is that once my parents are gone, I will be the only one.
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
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    I wanted a sibling so bad, and still do. I hate that I will never know what it's like to have a sibling.
  • ljones673
    ljones673 Posts: 1
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    I am the mother of an only child, and I can honestly say that I wish I had provided my daughter with a sibling. There are so many things that you come to realize as they grow older. She STILL asks for a brother/sister even though I know the age gap is tremendous, and the scariest part for me right now is if anything happens to me, she will be alone. No sibling to help her through the tough times. I pray that I am well until she marries and has kids of her own, but it's still an unknown and therefore scary. I recommend at least one more. :)
  • afres251
    afres251 Posts: 4
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    I'm not an only child (I'm the oldest of four), but I loved having siblings, even if they did drive me crazy half the time. I especially like it much more as an adult. I love being an aunt to my siblings kids, and I wouldn't have had that had I been an only child. Also, I've read a lot of responses on here about concern over large gap between kids, but in my case that wasn't a problem at all. My youngest brother is 9 years younger than me, and honestly, he's the one I'm closest with, both as children and now as adults. Of course, every person is different, but I wouldn't trade my siblings for the world, especially the youngest one. ;)
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    My kids are 7 years apart and they have a great relationship. It was challenging when my daughter was an infant, because my son would want to go to arcades and places that infants don't really care for. Once she got older, my son got a kick out of helping her learn how to read, play games, paint, draw, etc....

    It was a HUGE adjustment for him because he never had to share my attention, I just made sure to spend time with just HIM. Heck, I still do that - I'll take an afternoon and spend it with just my son or my daughter. They both enjoy that time with just mom.

    He's taught her everything he knows about Pokemon, DragonBall Z, video games, soccer, etc...so he's turned her into a little Anime nerd. HA! Which is really neat.

    They are VERY close considering the age gap. My son graduates from HS next year, so my daughter will be devastated when he moves out. I've reassured her that she can call her brother whenever she needs to talk to him once he moves out.
  • CynGoddess
    CynGoddess Posts: 188 Member
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    I liked it. had no problem. I can see the reasoning behind both sides, but for me I liked being an only child.
  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member
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    Quick Poll please!

    My fiancee and I are undecided if we want to have another little one, our daughter is months away from turning 6 and keeps asking for a baby sister.

    **Question: As an only child, did you prefer it just being you and your parent(s) or would you have liked to have a sibling?**

    Disclosure: The results of your opinions are not a binding contract as to whether or not I get knocked up again ;)

    Thank you in advance for your help!

    Technically I am not an only child as I have a half brother and half sister, but I didn't grow up with them so I feel like an only child lol.

    Anyway, I would have liked to have had a sibling and I begged for one all the time when I was a kid. I plan on having atleast 2 maybe 3 kids because of that.
  • deejaycee114
    deejaycee114 Posts: 139 Member
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    i'm so glad you posted this topic and i'm glad others have replied to your question.

    i have a 3-year-old who will be 4 in june. i have cousins with kids close to his age, but we hardly ever get together for play dates. when we do though, i see how happy and excited my son is to play with them. at the park as well, he's happy to be around other kids. he'll be starting school in august, so i can't wait for that. in the meantime, it's just me, him, and my mom at home. i would love to have another baby, but i feel i'm "too old" to have another one - i'll be 36 in october. then there's also the financial aspect of it - diapers, diapers, diapers!! :tongue:
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
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    Having siblings doesn't guarantee someone will not have an outrageous sense of entitlement (the biggest, the-world-owes-me-stuff *kitten* I know is my husband's cousin who is 1 of 4 kids), that they will be friends (my bff despises her brother and doesn't speak to him) or that they'll have help with elderly parents (I've seen it all fall to one person because the siblings don't have the time/money/whatever to help). If you WANT more kids, have more kids, if you don't, don't.
  • reactor25
    reactor25 Posts: 146 Member
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    I am an only child and I knew I didn't want that for my own child. It does get lonely, it also makes you stronger in some ways. I didn't want the memories our family makes to belong to only one person. Mine are 2 1/2 years apart so I can't comment on any age gap issues - and I've heard both sides as I'm sure you have too - but the trips we take, the movies / events / concerts /, the little every day things - at least when they're older and my husband and I have passed on, there's 2 people who can say to each other "hey remember the time we did ..." or "remember how momma / daddy did . . . ". Regardless of the gap having two people to help you spark memories no one else in the world would know - and the love that comes from that is priceless. Just my opinion.

    This^ I am not an only child, but I think it's the childhood memories you share that make a difference when you get older. You could possibly know your sibling longer than anyone else in your lifetime, no one else shares the journey with you that long :)

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