If you are an only child please open-quick question

Phoenix1401

I'm a only child and when I was younger yes I did want a sibling that's when I had a imaginary friend when I became a teen I deeply apperciate being an only because of zero drama when I came home I involved myself in many different projects now I'm 21 I love it! People like to ask questions and I tell them especially during dating when the guy ask me. Of course the only child have alot of stereotypes such as "Spoiled" "Stuck up" "Loners" which are totally false! If you raise your only child with good morals and values they will become great! My major is in Childhood Developmen also I'm a nanny and daycare worker I love it! Oh yeah and make you only child work for things! Like if they want a certain toy tell them they would have to do chores and make good grades also try not to be overly protected it'll be hard for him/her to grow int a resposible adult.

TinaDay1114

I'm an only child, and I think whether it's good or bad all depends on your parents, and what your home life was like. I also think the decision to have more children depends on what's good for the family unit as a whole -- 'cause if Mom and Dad are overburdened or unhappy, no one's gonna be happy.

I grew up in a toxic house with 2 parents in a bad marriage. As an only, I became the 3rd "grown up" in that relationship -- NOT a good place for a kid to be. And like runningfromzo, too much of the focus was on ME. I became the comfort for my mom when my Dad made her unhappy, I was the one that got the brunt of the anger and rage when they were upset, and I was the one who felt ultimately responsible for keeping everything stable, keeping everyone "happy." I felt like an adult at age 5.

When things were really bad, I had no sibling to turn to. When your 2 parents are the only immediate family you have in the world, and they're not emotionally GOOD for you, there's nowhere to go.

Luckily I had a grandmother who could be my soft place to fall -- but (unfortunately) grandmas can't live forever. :sad:

I have a cousin who is also an only child, and we have always been close. Having been through the same kind of childhood, we try to be sisters to each other. But there is still a big hole for both of us -- no matter how much we love and support each other, if you weren't actually in the same house, you can't truly understand that pain.

And now that I'm older and my parents are aging, it's only ME who can take care of them. It's a HUGE burden.

Now I have two boys of my own. It took me a LOOOOONG time to even admit that I wanted kids, b/c I was so afraid to cause them pain. But I married a good man, and we work very hard on making a good, safe, loving home for our kids (as much as we can).

We have also tried very hard to impress on both kids how important that sibling relationship is -- they are 4 years apart, but they absolutely ADORE each other, and even talk about living together in our house when they grown up (yeah, they're only 4 and 8, so that's gonna change!) I can't tell you how happy I am that they have each other. For so many reasons...

If you have a loving home, and you really want more kids, by all means HAVE more -- we need more happy, emotionally healthy grown-ups in the world!!

MaritaD

I'm not an only child but thought I'd put in my two cents anyways. I have two siblings, and I can't imagine life without them, it's amazing as a grown up having that bond, it's so special, and being able to know have the bond through our own children and experiencing having nephews, nieces, and them being aunts and uncles to my child. It's really incredible. I don't think being an only child is bad, but if you have the means and resources and desire to have another I'd say go for it!!

Ilovedrinkingtea

I was an only child until I was 8, it was a huge shock when we adopted my sister who was then a baby. xx

WickedGarden

I'm an only child, and I did wish for a sibling.

I hate that all only children are labeled 'spoiled' because I was far from it, I was way too shy to be considered spoiled. I was pretty much ignored by my parent (single parent raising an only child). It was very lonely. No cousins or friends that lived close (my cousins were at least 10 years older then me).

My ex was an only child, and his mother spoiled him to death, he was a nightmare to be around.

I think that as long as you raise your child surrounded by love and support, lots of family/friends, they won't feel the need for siblings. BUT i also do wish I had a sibling so I could've talked to them during the 'tough years'.

marzinator13

I enjoyed it as a kid but now that Im an adult it makes me sad that I will never be a aunt to my blood relatives and I will never have the bond my mom has with her siblings... we see eachother at least once a week

mfp_junkie

We have just one child, an 11 year old. We waited several years after getting married to have our son. In hindsight, he should have been the 2nd child.

Don't get me wrong - he's a great kid, and we love our family the way it is, but I think it would have been beneficial to our son, and to us, to have 2 kids.

If we could go back in time, we would have had two.

LilRedRooster

I'm not an only child, and I love my sister dearly and wouldn't change her for the world, but my daughter will be an only child, and I don't feel badly for it.

I actually pondered for a bit about having a sibling so that she would have that experience, but I kept coming back to the fact that I didn't want another child myself; the only way I would have another is for her benefit, and to me, that seems like the wrong reason for having another child in my life. I did not like the infant stage, and I hated being pregnant. I really didn't want to put myself through all that again, not to mention take on the emotional burden of another child, simply for the idea that it MIGHT be beneficial to the one I already have. I don't know if having a sibling would be great for her, or something she didn't like at all, and that would be a huge sacrifice on my part for an idea that I don't know would come to fruitation.

If you both wouldn't mind another child, and you would actually enjoy the experience or look forward to it, then I don't see anything wrong with having another, no matter the age gap. But you definitely should want the experience for yourself, and not just for the benefit of someone else.

Pamu101

I was sort of an "only child". My brother is 10 years older than me, so even now we don't really talk. I worry the age gap is already too big (this is just my opinion though) but they would end up being nearly 7 years apart. So if they are anything like me and my brother, they wont really feel like "siblings". I love the guy, but he moved out by the time we were able to actually have conversations and now we just see each other on holiday. So, if you are going to have another child, just remember that. The age gap may be too big. This doesn't go for everyone though!

I have a 10 years gap with my sister and we are extremely close

darkenedfalling

I'm an only child are there are good and bad things. People assume you're spoilt but not always. I've had a job since 13 so never asked for money but accepted it when given. My parents were a lot more fussy and worried stupidly about silly little things more I found and were far too overprotective which drove me away. I was a bit weird as a child as I had to play by myself a fair amount but I just say creative but yeah I didn't always do the socially accepted thing or understand mistakes. If you have one make sure they see friends a lot. I'd love an older sibling to look out for me and teach me things etc but sadly not gonna happen as I'm 18

meshashesha2012

in general i preferred it.

just dont buy your kid games that require more than 1 player and NOT play with them. for instance my parents insisted on buying me stuff like twister, badminton set, volleyball set, etc and not playing with me. do you know how hard it is to spin the wheel AND pose on the twister board?? :laugh:

and yeah i tried to play all of these games alone when i didnt have friends over because i wanted desparately to play them. when i got older my mom as like "yeah watching you try an play those things was some of the saddest things i've ever seen" then when i asked if it was so sad why didnt she come and play with me she was like "because it was kind of funny. i wanted to see how long you'd go" :laugh:

nakedsun

I'm an only child but I got lucky and am close with my cousins.

It is tough now as an adult and having two parents going through things but only one kid able to help out.

everytree

Only child checking in and I hated it.

xxTAMxx

I was an only child up until the age of 12 and longed for a brother or sister. I ended up getting both and life would suck without them. My son turning 18 soon is an only child and recently came to me and said "I am never going to be an uncle" This really pulled at the heart strings.

Laura80111

I am an only child It was fine when I was a child and I always had plenty of friends to fill in for lonely times.

As an adult it was NO FUN being the only one to take care of aging parents.:huh: It was difficult being miles away from them and them in need of in home assistance. Finding good care that I KNEW was good for them and people that wouldn't take advantage of them...my hubby was my support through most of it, but even he couldn't drop everything like I had to several times to head out their way to deal with health issues, house issues, doctors, etc.

They both passed in a 14mo period and that was another thing I had to do by my self...it would have been nice to have a brother or sister to help with all that's entailed in aging parents.:flowerforyou:

Dayna154

I am 45 yr old and was raised pretty much as an only child due to my sisters severe handicaps.
In growing up I was indulged a lot by my parents and grandparents. I knew for me things were different in the way siblings interacted as we grew up. I had some VERY close friends but never anything like a sibling.
Now that I am grown and watched my two girls grow up I see how much I missed then and miss now in not having any siblings.. There is nothing like the people you grew up with that know all the family secrets and always knowing no matter what you have that once person to count on.. Did it scar me or traumatize me? No not in any way, but I do find myself envious of people who had siblings both to fight with and love in life...
This is way too deep of a thought to cover in a few words here… Good luck...

chocoholicdiva

There were times I did and there were times I didn't. Sometimes I wanted a brother or sister because it felt lonely on occasion when my friends couldn't come over, and other times I was glad because I got to witness a few sibling rivalries, and some of them got pretty ugly!!! Happy to say, I never did get any sibs, and have plenty of aunts and uncles thanks to both parents. After all, I've got a ton of cousins because of them!!! LOL :laugh:

princessruthiebelle

i was an only child untill i met my dad at 15 and found out i had half siblings, although were not close its nice to know they are there and we keep in contact

i don't feel like i missed out growing up, i was spoiled and loved and don't remember ever wanting siblings especially ( i always wanted an identical twin sister but mum would give me one!!!!! lol)

i didn't have an cousins either, so relied heavily on having friends about to play with, im the youngest in my family by 15 years so its scary to think one day i could be on my own but then again ive always been happy to entertain myself.

, now my best friend is like my sister and my aunt is very close to me also.

there are pros and cons i suppose....i think from a child's perspective there will be times when they wish you had had a brother or sister for them on the other hand if you do there will be times when they wish they were an only child....

sometimes people want for what they haven't got....i was always happy an only child because i didn't know any different id see my friends arguing with there sisters and be thankful i had nobody to pull my hair!!

fmbomzo

It has pros and cons.

Pros: not having to get a consensus to do stuff, not having to share things, not having to wonder where your personal items are or fighting over them, having parents undivided attention, being able to chart your own path because your parents don't have another child to compare you to

Cons: not having another person in the house to confide in or play with, not having any older sibling to warn you about things to come, not having nieces or nephews, having to shoulder the burden of aging parents alone

I balanced it out by having 4 kids of my own :laugh: . They fight but they love each other.

taemegod

Wow I think you have enough replies but I'll add mine for good measure. I am an only child, yes, I'm still somebody's baby at UUHHUM age. But I always wished I had a sibling, still wish I had a sibling. I think a child that would ask for a sibling at say age 6 is the type of kid that would enjoy a sibling. Not just for now but for later in life. I agree sooner rather than later so they will develop a bond rather than just one leaving the house and the other just starting kindergarten. I myself have a daughter who will be six in august. I would love another child but am not in a position to have another, I would have honestly preferred one a lot closer in age cause I feel like I would be starting all over. The only saving grace I have is that she already has an older half sister, from her dad. They are themselves 4 years 4months apart but definetly have a bond and a nice relationship(yes of course the younger is a bit of a pest as she gets older). So yes I would say if your willing go for it. In truth, I felt damaged and lonely by not having a sibling. I craved that closeness and understanding of how i grew up, my beliefs etc.. that really only a sibling could understand. But on the other hand, if you don't she will be fine, not like she will implode or anything. LOL

pregmeg119

I can't believe all of the responses! Thank you, I read each and every one of them. Ultimately, it is our decision and I think I am going to stick with my belief if both of us are "meh" about it then we shouldn't do it. There are definitely pros and cons to having more than one child and I'm terrified I will regret a decision not to have another one but I just feel like our family is just fine with the three of us.

Hopefully, 20 years from now my daughter isn't replying to said question and resenting us for it! :ohwell:

LuckyLeprechaun

I was an only child until age 7. I very much wanted to stay that way. However, the bond I have with my sister is priceless and I am so very grateful that my parents were in charge instead of me

kimberly702

I'm an only child... wouldn't of had it any other way! I have an awesome relationship with my parents now. I did get bored though when I was a child, but we also lived 20 miles out of town.

goldfinger88

I can only speak for me. But as an only child, I can tell you I would have given anything for at least one sibling and preferably more. It's not really a fair position to put a child in and they suffer later in life -- not to mention in childhood. I'm sure there are exceptions, of course.

lessele

I am an only child and although I am over 60 years old I have always wanted a brother or sister. It really got harder after my parents passed away. It was up to me alone when they were ill and then later with regards to their belongings and house etc.

alecta337

I was an only child, but because my parents both have professional careers they hired live in nannys. So I always had someone around to play with me. I really enjoy being an only child, I am super spoiled =] I don't think I would be who I am today if I had had siblings.

I think that I asked for a sibling when I was young, but then I got to the age where I realized that if there was another kid then my time with mom would be even less, so I didn't want one anymore.

Linda916

HATED IT!!! it was especially difficult when each of my parents developed terminal illnesses. suck, suck, sucked! I guess that's why I had three kids. We are a full party wherever we go!

Artemis726

If you feel that you're good with the three of you, then that is perfect! Life would be pretty boring if every family was the same. :flowerforyou:

FWIW- both DH and I were only children. His parents gave him a dog to help (and it did- a little ), and my single mother blurred the lines of being a parent and trying to be a friend, which led to a whole bunch of issues and confusion. Based on our experiences, we decided on a large, traditional sort of family- and have 2 girls and 2 boys. (I had my last at 30- like you I wanted to be a 'younger' mom) Lots of people think we are absolutely crazy to have 4 kids, but what's right for us is right for us.

Good luck!

Aemely

Only child for 12 years. It was great, but I didn't get a lot of practice on sharing... That being said, my parents put me into lots of summer camps, VBS, and other social activities. Without those, I might have been even more socially awkward. Ha!

Anyway, I'm so, so, so glad that I finally got a sibling at age 12. Even though I left my parents' house/state at age 18, I got 6 years with a sibling that are very precious.

centaurfilly

I was an only child (later found out that I have an older brother and sister but still have never met them). In any case, I was also one of those kids that begged my parents for a little brother or sister. I always kind of resented the fact that I didn't have any siblings and even now as an adult I sometimes envy my friends that have sisters, especially if they are close to them. I've swore that when I get around to having kids I will never have just one.

That being said, I've known other only children who were glad they never had to share - but if she's asking you for a younger brother or sister, then odds are that shes' going to be one of those that is going to be kind of bummed that she doesn't have siblings.