"You don't need to lose any more weight!"

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  • Polly758
    Polly758 Posts: 623 Member
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    It's because people think that slender people are just that way naturally-- that belief excuses them from doing the work to get slender themselves. So when they see someone else doing the work, they get guilty, and then annoyed. Example:

    I just had a body fat analysis done at work at the employee benefits fair today, just out of curiosity. So I'm looking at the little form they give me with the ranges for males and females and I was really surprised that males can have such lower percentages! I walk over to a coworker's desk to chat about it and she gets ALL DEFENSIVE. First of all that my body fat is in the healthy range, she got annoyed about that, but I didn't go there to brag, she asked. Second that males have more muscles and they burn more fat and they are just skinny skin bones, and she was severely annoyed about how unfair it all is. I was trying to say that well yeah, I forgot about that, how males have more testosterone so they tend to have more muscles naturally, which changes the percentage of fat, and metabolism is based on a lot of different factors, but she really was not listening. It is just all so unfair to her.

    My point is, some people really have talked themselves out of a healthy lifestyle because of things that are supposedly out of their control. My coworker seems to tell herself, "I'm female, I'm 50, it's literally impossible, NOT FAIR, oh well at least everyone else is a little chubby like me." And then someone like me comes along, yeah I'm younger, but I also put effort into my fitness, and her view of reality is challenged! She starts to hear things that sound a lot like "it's your own fault you're fat" and she has to insist that it's all out of her control, it's so easy for everyone else to be slender and healthy but she's special and different and it's not her fault. Then she sees other people putting in the effort that she KNOWS FULL WELL she should, but she has other priorities. And fine, that's her choice, but my efforts are my choices too.

    If she really wanted it, she would put in the effort, and then it's only a matter of time. That's why I'm slender and fit, because I put in effort-- as much effort as necessary! And if the amount of work you're willing to do isn't enough to give you the results you want, then either 1. change your efforts or 2. change your goals. Otherwise you'll be stuck in this perpetual cycle of not doing enough work and complaining that it's not working.

    I'm not trying to be a blaming blamer of fat people, I am only talking about people who are not trying hard enough because of their own excuses.
  • enaves1986
    enaves1986 Posts: 46 Member
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    I get it all the time, I just ignore it. Most of " You don't need to loose any more weight" comments or you'll be to skinny comes from the guys I play ice hockey with. Just do what feels right for you.
  • Jeneanhh
    Jeneanhh Posts: 16 Member
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    I get that a lot. About 3 years ago I went from 210 to 103 then I gain 75 of it back now when I tell people I want to get back down to about 105-110 they say are you sure thats not to skinny, or you look fine now. I think your right when you said they just say that to be nice. I guess i have never had anyone tell me "hay your to fat" but that doesn't make it okay when they are just trying to make me feel better by saying you don't need to loose any weight.
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
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    I'm 5'9 and my goal weight has always been 145. Everytime I tell people that they tell me I'll be way too thin, and look sickly, and that I look fine now. I'm 204 lbs as of this morning, and if they think that looks fine then ick lol. I've learned to just sit back and think to myself, it's not like I want to be 145 skinny fat, I want to be 145 with muscle (dream of mine is to compete in a fitness competition) So when they ask, I just say I'm going until I feel good, which that is true too.
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
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    It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight :)

    I concur.:grumble:
  • rockette7
    rockette7 Posts: 18
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    I haven't really told anyone what I'm doing, as I'm not looking to lose much weight and I figure they won't really notice. But people often feel the need to comment on my eating habits. If I don't finish a meal my co-workers all leap on it. Our cafe serves up MASSIVE portions, but obviously, leaving a couple of mouthfuls is very strange. I mean, the food is there, why would let a little thing like being full stop me eating it? Very strange.
  • indiepops
    indiepops Posts: 96
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    the thing with this is some people are too skinny and its genuine concern, then theres peeps like us who are just on the plump side and what to shift that 10 lbs. people are too polite and think we're looking for compliments when we arent, the problem is when we get down to our goals, they will say the same thing lol x
  • j77r68
    j77r68 Posts: 271 Member
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    i don't think it's worth a headache for you. i think it's one of those times where you just smile say thank you and move on. other than close friends and fam noone else needs to know or understand your goals . i'm sure they mean well but it's not worth a half hour discussion when they usually can not be swayed to see your point of view.
  • mbeis
    mbeis Posts: 19 Member
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    this drives me insane. i could go on forever about this but for the sake of not aggravating myself, i will just say that-- however annoying-- take it as a compliment and move on. my quote for this week in all aspects of my life applies here, too: "i don't get bitter, i just get better" =)
  • jessww
    jessww Posts: 10
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    all the time. My one friend even told me he was slightly frightened at the fact that i wanted to lose weight. But I think its because he can't handle change well.

    But to be honest, I'm not doing it for anyone in particular except for myself. I want to be happy with myself and healthy. I want to live a long and strong life. I'm not trying to look like those models in the magazine at all! haha yes they are gorgeous but its not realistic for me.
  • pfradd
    pfradd Posts: 34 Member
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    Everday from my wife, getting to skinny working out to much, ect.I won't stop till I am happy!
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
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    So annoying! Has anyone noticed that the people who make these comments are big people?
    I think they feel threatened if we become skinnier, prettier, healthier, happier, you name it, so they try to put a stop to it.
    If you haven't reached your goal, keep going! As long as you're being healthy about it I see no reason to stop. Drown out the negativity with the positive changes you're making in your life.


    "Good things come to those who wait."
    EFF that! Good things come to those who work their @$$es off and NEVER give up!
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
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    Yeah, but I just think they're trying to be complimentary (at 5'6", 172 lbs I obviously still need to lose quite a bit), so I just let it go. The only person it bothers me from is my mom. She genuinely thinks I look good and don't need to lose any more weight. She thinks SHE absolutely needs to lose 10 more lbs, despite the fact that doing so would put her almost into the underweight category and her doctor has told her she does NOT need to lose any more weight. I'm a little concerned about the way she sees herself.
  • GauchoMark
    GauchoMark Posts: 1,804 Member
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    SabrinaJL - Love the shirt!
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
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    I will try that again. I am 5'11 and i was almost 250lbs with a 40 inch waist. I am now just under 200 with a 32 inch waist and i would like to end up somewhere between 180-190 which will still have me above my BMI and i am feeling good now but like it has been said before i don't look fit naked. I have had to buy new clothes although i tried to put it off until i got to my goal weight but a belt can only do so much.

    I have heard people say that i don't need to lose anymore, however when i graduated high school 25 years ago i was less than 130 lbs and no one commented about being too thin then. i believe like everyone else has said that everyone has a point that they feel comfortable with their weight and that is where you stop trying to lose but i think you need to keep working on the toning or what is to stop you from going back up.

    thats my two cents anyway

    I figured you meant you were a serious weightlifter; supposedly they show as "obese" on the charts when in fact they are very fit.

    And the high-school skinny of guys whose bones have outgrown all the rest of them... well, frankly, they look better once they fill in a bit. My guy was still high-school growth spurt skinny, six feet and 129 pounds, when we married, but he looks a LOT better at about thirty pounds over that. And in fact he would be underweight at 129, and is on the low end of "normal" at 160.
  • iwantahealthierme13
    iwantahealthierme13 Posts: 337 Member
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    I told my aunt I wanted to get down to 130. I am 5'5" and haven't been 130 in my adult life. I am 187 now. She was like... "that's too much! you have a large frame!"

    I told her about the wrist measuring trick to find out what build you are and that I'm medium frame but muscular from athletics in my teens.Then she measured her own wrist and that got her to stop because she has a medium frame too but weighs much more than me.

    You need something to say back when someone says something.

    The people who say something like that are jealous and trying to stop you because they don't think it's possible
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
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    You have to remember also, we are living in a time where there is an OBESITY epidemic.

    That meaning, of course we look "fine" or dont need to lose more because look at what we are being compared to? Obese, unfit, unhealthy, dying at young ages, people.

    There are now children, sadly, who weigh as much as i do if not more.


    Listen to your body, if your body tells you it is unhealthy, if youre tired and aching and sickly its time for a change. ive seen plenty, PLENTY of thin people who are not fit in the least bit and could most definitely never out run me.
    I may be heavier but my endurance and strength is blossoming and im becoming lean and fit.

    People who make these comments are not always the "fat" ones.
    I have had a lot of skinny friends make comments as well. I've always been the "fat friend" what will happen when i can stroll on the beach in my bikini?

    Jealousy is running rampid these days.
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
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    SabrinaJL - Love the shirt!

    Thanks. About year ago I saw it and it cracked me up. That biggest size they had was (L) and it didn't fit, but I got it anyway, hoping it would eventually . My husband is not as excited about it finally fitting as I am. lol
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    I'm 5 foot 6 and 160 pounds and I know I need to lose at least another 15 to 20 pounds, and I have had several people tell me i don't need to lose any more and that I look great. While I may look better than I did when I started, I DO still have more to lose. I don't know if they are just trying to be nice or what...
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
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    ive seen plenty, PLENTY of thin people who are not fit in the least bit and could most definitely never out run me.

    That is my 18 year old daughter. She's 5'0", 108 lbs but lives off pop-tarts, ramen, coke and candy. Gets absolutely NO exercise and freely admits I'm way fitter than she is. I asked her, "Aren't you embarrassed that your fat, old mom can outrun you?" She said, "Oh, totally, but not enough to do anything about it." :huh:

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