"You don't need to lose any more weight!"

VanessaGS

I have a lot of people tell me that I shouldn't lose anymore weight. I've always struggled with not being toned though. I've been as small as 105, but I know that was unhealthy weight due to depression and crying alot from a bad break up. Eating right...MFP says I'll be around 125. That seems right considering my height. It's not that I'm trying to lose weight I just want to look more toned. I'll admit though some people that are too skinny don't look good, but there are some that can pull it off. We are getting older and we're not always going to be high school skinny, but that doesn't mean we can't have a great body. Look at J. Lo...she's not stick thin but still beautiful in her 40's. That's the kind of body I want to go for. Hope this helps.

MehiraDeOro

Yes, I usually get the "you look fine, stop worrying about it."

Excuse me? This one sentence is what made me gain 50 pounds out of high school! This idea that it's ok if you gain a pound or two here or there and not do anything to take it back off is what got me at unhealthy weight to begin with!

Some of these people I have to explain that I'm not starving myself in any way (I love food!), also I still eat bad foods--on a regular basis too! I just eat less and smaller portions of the bad food. Hell I even upped my calories because I was concerned that I was losing weight to fast (I was worried I was losing muscle mass and not fat). My goal weight is also realistic for my height, 5'3" goal: 140lbs, my doctor even said so.

One person in particular made a post on facebook (yay fb drama) about my weight loss--indirectly of course but I knew it was about me because she posted her status 15 minutes after mine. She said things like, "don't worry about diets, just worry about being healthy." Ummm what? How is eating healthy and and exercising "not healthy"?

kplasse8

Hi, I'm brand new today. I weigh 155 and am 5'6" and I want to get to 130. Why? Because I want to be healthy. I want to be in the middle of my recommended BMI. I work in Healthcare and the people who stay in that range have the least amount of chronic problems and are on the least amount of medications. I'm 45 and the weight is piling on steadily now. So if people ask, I just say I want to get healthy and carry that on into old age. And if they can't respect that, then that is their problem:)

kishamichelle686

I get that a lot too. The people at work have seen me go from a size 18 to 6 in a matter of months. I just smile and keep moving I know my goal weight and why I am trying to achieve it. For me its health reason so.... SO with 15pds left I just keep moving

BWThomson

I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.

Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...

SERIOUSLY? Wow. My husband, also 6 ft, got up around 185 a few years ago and decided to skip dessert for a while and drop all the extra weight (*sigh* don't get me started on Some People and their lucky genes...). He got down to about 160, and Hubba Hubba baby! 160 looks good on a six-footer, especially if you've got nice shoulders like my tennis-player guy!

Go for it, dude! Good luck to you!

All depends on your body type. I'm 6'1" and 205 right now with a 33" waist, but a LBM of around 175. My goal is 190-195 and I'll still be overweight on the BMI chart!

SarLem81

I've gotten that quite a few times. I usually tell people that I'm doing this for me and not anyone else. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. They usually still don't entirely get it, but it confuses them enough to shut their trap.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I started getting this, so I decided to put on weight instead, most of it muscle.

jmapes9

Honestly, if I say that to a female, it's usually because I think they already look great. Which also usually means I'm attracted to them.

imreadii2011

I take it as a compliment. It's not that serious to get upset about it!!! lol

jwhit31

My husband wanted me to quit losing weight 13 pounds ago. I compromised with him. I stopped at the end of February ONLY because he agree to helped me lift weights. Best decision ever!!! I think things are coming along nicely.

BWThomson

I will try that again. I am 5'11 and i was almost 250lbs with a 40 inch waist. I am now just under 200 with a 32 inch waist and i would like to end up somewhere between 180-190 which will still have me above my BMI and i am feeling good now but like it has been said before i don't look fit naked. I have had to buy new clothes although i tried to put it off until i got to my goal weight but a belt can only do so much.

I have heard people say that i don't need to lose anymore, however when i graduated high school 25 years ago i was less than 130 lbs and no one commented about being too thin then. i believe like everyone else has said that everyone has a point that they feel comfortable with their weight and that is where you stop trying to lose but i think you need to keep working on the toning or what is to stop you from going back up.

thats my two cents anyway

allisonrozsa

I think it comes with perception. If you've been overweight a while, then the image people have in their heads is the larger you. Once you've gotten significantly smaller than you were, it the minds-eye it's SO much smaller than it may actually be as so feels like you are just disappearing. It's all a matter of perception. My sister lost about 25lbs (she was a size 12) and is now a size 6. In my mind, I thought she was much smaller than her pant size actually says. It's all a matter of perception.

jennylynn84

Oh dear, I said that to a friend before. I truly thought/think she looks amazing exactly the way she is. After reading this I'll make sure I never say that again. Being so overweight, if someone told me that I'd jump up and down from happiness!

And I promise the first few times you hear it you will. But when people start flat-out accusing you of being sick and making implications (or actually saying - grrrr) that it's "just easy for you to lose weight" like you haven't been sweating and struggling, you'll start to see the unfortunate side of it.

As for when people are really genuine (like you were) generally I can tell. Its the back-handed insults (you look like you've had cancer!) or obvious jealousy undertone that makes me want to scream.

lauralizzy829

mainly because in the US, take a quick look around at a public place. As a society, we are so overweight that fat is the norm. Once you get healthy, people don't know how to react because you are a minority now.

My aunt sat me down a couple of weeks ago and had an intervention-style conversation with me... and I still have about 15-20 lbs to go.

I do agree with you that people are used to seeing overweight people, and not fit people. I also think that many people don't realize what overweight is. They think that a weight is normal when it is in fact overweight.

For the original poster, I have a very loving bf and he doesn't discourage me from losing weight, but everytime I bring up diet or exercise, he tells me that he thinks I'm perfect the way I am. Which of course gets my all blushy
I respond with that I'm not trying to lose weight (even tho I am) but trying to run a half marathon and eventually the terrifying Tough Mudder, which I also am. I have to diet and exercise to reach those goals. He seems to understand that easier. For some people, losing pounds is hard for them to get where as working towards a different goal (like marathon) seems more commendable.

kailysimpson

Does any one else get this? It's so irritating. I think people are trying to be nice when they say it, but how do you respond? In my profile pic (taken today) I'm 156. I was 110 (5'3") previously, and that's where I want to be. When I tell people that (when they ask) they say "you shouldn't lose that much more" or "you look fine now" or "you'll be too skinny". Do you get this and how do you handle it?

People tel my sister in law this b/c she obsessively diets but she is CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY telling people that she's on a diet, that she's fat, that she wants to lose X amount more weight, that she hates her body, that she's SO hungry b/c she hasn't eaten etc. So everyone tells her to knock it off b/c she's SEEKING ATTENTION. She's like 130lbs at 5 foot8ish (I dunno exactly but she's taller than me at 5'7) so she's certainly not "fat" but the constant prodding of people to TELL her that prompts the "you don't need to lose any more weight" comments.

_SpeshK_

I think they are just trying to be nice.

LCFulmer

I'm in the same boat. I tell them I think I look good with clothes on, I want to look good with my clothes off. They are two different kinds of "looking good". That shuts them right up.

I'm agree with you.... I want that flat tummy, not just look flat with cloths on but to actually be flat.

sevsmom

I attend a large church. About 3,000 + people. A small group (about 20 adults) meets in my home mid week. There is a growing number of folks that I'm friends with at my church who have made healthy lifestyle changes in the last couple years. 3 weeks ago, one woman who comes to my house told me "Fat people are going to stop coming to our church. You all make us feel bad about ourselves." Say WHAT??!!

I didn't know what to say. She followed it up with, "If you lose any more weight, you're gonna look anorexic."

At 5'5" and 134 lb, I'm hardly anorexic.

I think people just want to steal your joy or at least throw you off your stride when they see you making such a noticeable positive change in your life. You know if you are being healthy or not. IF you are, stick to it no matter what other people say!!

LisaDunn01

Just smile and say, "Thank you so much for the compliment!" That's all you have to do. They can have their viewpoints and reality, and you can have yours without having to get offended or argue with them.

ElectricMayhem

Does any one else get this? It's so irritating. I think people are trying to be nice when they say it, but how do you respond? In my profile pic (taken today) I'm 156. I was 110 (5'3") previously, and that's where I want to be. When I tell people that (when they ask) they say "you shouldn't lose that much more" or "you look fine now" or "you'll be too skinny". Do you get this and how do you handle it?

People tel my sister in law this b/c she obsessively diets but she is CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY telling people that she's on a diet, that she's fat, that she wants to lose X amount more weight, that she hates her body, that she's SO hungry b/c she hasn't eaten etc. So everyone tells her to knock it off b/c she's SEEKING ATTENTION. She's like 130lbs at 5 foot8ish (I dunno exactly but she's taller than me at 5'7) so she's certainly not "fat" but the constant prodding of people to TELL her that prompts the "you don't need to lose any more weight" comments.

THESE kind of people drive me berserk!!!! Fishing for compliments is a HUGE pet peeve of mine :grumble: On a side note, i would LOVE for someone to tell me i'm losing too much weight- haha!!