okay, it's seduction time
Replies
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You look tasty how bout u come to my place and treat me to desert haha0
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Aren't you the tiger on the Frosted Flakes box? Cuz you look "Grrrreat!"0
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Nice shoes, wanna F#$k?0
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Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!0
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Did you know, once you go fat, you never go back? *wink*0
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If I were a enzyme I would be helicase so I could unzip your genes!
Sad i'm such a biology nerd that I like this one LOL0 -
"I guess we'll have to f**k, but not tonight cuz I'm too drunk."
aka how my wife picked me up...0 -
I've got a really FUN way to help you achieve your calorie deficit...0
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If you make dinner, shall I make breakfast
x0 -
Do you need a job? Cause I've got some openings you can fill.0
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Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.0
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Your body must be a Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.0
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Your friend is really cute but you will do.0
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You must be a toilet because I am pooped just thinking about you!0
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Is your body from McDonalds? Cause I'm Lovin It!0
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"Would you like to take a young man's virginity?" was a line once used on me, needless to say, it didn't work!0
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Feel this, this is Girlfriend Material baby lol0
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Would you touch me, so I can tell my friends I was touched by an Angel?0
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Do you believe in love at first sight or shall i walk past you again? x0
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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.0
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Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it down.
This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sensuous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8."0 -
At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.0
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At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.
Stella or Bud? Take yer pick. It's on me.0 -
Let me knock the stuffin off that egg mcmuffin0
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F**k me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?0
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That sounds like Joey on "Friends".0
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This is when Beerrunner will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.
Damn.:devil:0 -
(Need to be in the grocery store for this one) 'scuse me miss? I've been sent here to tell you to leave the freezer section immediately. You're so damn hot you're melting all the stuff!!0
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I didn't know that the Dallas Cowboys were in town....You're their lead cheer leader, right?0
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This is when Beerrunner will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.
Damn.:devil:
Best Onion columnist ever, hands down.0
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