Fit Men / Un-fit Women
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When I was very over weight and now what I look for in a man has been the same. Personally i have never made comments such as the OP stated about 6 pack abs or muscles. I am more interested in how well I get along with someone, if they are honest, faithful and fun. I think the single most important thing in a relationship is how well the people treat each other, I have had one too many relationships where we didn't get along lol.
Now it is a little more important to me that the person I am with has a similar lifestyle, I let my bf know when we met that I wasn't interested in constantly eating at restaurants.0 -
Beling a large woman all of my life I have found that while the fit muscular "hottie" guys are amazing eye candy it's not what is important. Yes, my hubby is somewhat muscular, but it's not what attracted me to him. Most women turn up their nose at a guy with a nice body ecept for the "spare tire". You could be the hottest eprson on earth and have no personality at all.0
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Women and men both do this. It is nothing new nor surprising.0
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I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
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I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
LOL...but then you have the 'what consititutes a cute face' question! Chubby cheeks? Chiseled features? Facial hair?
=p0 -
I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?
Sounds like he is just about as confused as I am over it. It does make more sense, if only for the lifestyle choices.I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.
Someone said something last night regarding using this scenario to never have to actually be in a relationship. Low self image breeds depression and anxiety so it could be a cover-up in response to something that is going on within themselves.
***I think after all of the responses, I think I am going to stick with this idea for a while.VVV
Only generalizing to say specifically SOME overweight women, borderline obese, attempt to compensate for something they lack in their own life by thinking that if they were with this person, somehow it would make them more desirable. I equate it to some degree with the hot chick and ugly friends syndrome; she fills her social circle with people she feels are less desirable than her so that she will appear more attractive. Both of these situations produce the same psychological outcome. I am a realist but I don't expect everyone else to be.0 -
I've had plenty of fat women tell me they didnt' want to date me because they deserved more than a fat man. True story. Fat women can date the sporty muscle guys. At least here. I went to the zoo yesterday I saw a good dozen couples that were sporty muscle guys with fat women. I never saw it the other way around once
Again... women are the gate keepers.0 -
I wish men could give birth
Some men wish they could too. I'd have given anything to save my ex from all she went through at the time...plus it's a pretty amazing thing in and of itself.
Wow, I have never heard ANY guy say that! Lol you just won some sort of award. I'm not sure what yet, but you get a trophy ! :bigsmile:
Really??
:noway:
yeah, me neither...my husband slept through my screams the whole time I was in labor, and got pissed when I tried to wake him up0 -
I don't think that is just a female thing. I know a lot of guys who are overweight who only want the little thin girls.
Definitely not a female thing.
I can't tell you the number of personal ads I read with "no fat chicks" or "no one over a size 8" in their shopping list of requirements.
And at the time, I was a teeny tiny little thing, and was no way in hell I'd answer an ad like that. But I'd mentally thank them for being upfront about it, since I liked to avoid shallow d-bags.
Yeah, this was my first thought after reading the initial post, too. I always found it ironic that anyone who would say "no fat chicks" were probably big themselves.
I like muscles too, but nothing outrageous. I do not like men that are too skinny, though, but I realize that's a personal preference...0 -
I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?
Sounds like he is just about as confused as I am over it. It does make more sense, if only for the lifestyle choices.I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.
Someone said something last night regarding using this scenario to never have to actually be in a relationship. Low self image breeds depression and anxiety so it could be a cover-up in response to something that is going on within themselves.
***I think after all of the responses, I think I am going to stick with this idea for a while.VVV
Only generalizing to say specifically SOME overweight women, borderline obese, attempt to compensate for something they lack in their own life by thinking that if they were with this person, somehow it would make them more desirable. I equate it to some degree with the hot chick and ugly friends syndrome; she fills her social circle with people she feels are less desirable than her so that she will appear more attractive. Both of these situations produce the same psychological outcome. I am a realist but I don't expect everyone else to be.
Could you at least admit that this is not a female trait but BOTH genders can be like this?
I know so many guys who are like this it is ridiculous. They are usually either overweight or just not physically attractive but want to date slender attractive women.
Coming from a girl who used to be morbidly obese and could never find a guy, and my standards for looks were never high at all. Guys just didn't want to date me because of my weight.0 -
I wish men could give birth
Some men wish they could too. I'd have given anything to save my ex from all she went through at the time...plus it's a pretty amazing thing in and of itself.
Wow, I have never heard ANY guy say that! Lol you just won some sort of award. I'm not sure what yet, but you get a trophy ! :bigsmile:
Really??
:noway:
yeah, me neither...my husband slept through my screams the whole time I was in labor, and got pissed when I tried to wake him up
And...this was acceptable behavior to you??
And even worse...I'M single?!0 -
That's a fair-enough question but it seems a little one-sided. I've witnessed the exact opposite - Don't know how many times I've heard overweight men criticizing overweight women.
But honestly I think some people just don't have a solid sense of reality, or else they just like to talk big (i.e. "no six-pack, no need to apply")
We all want the most attractive, most full-filling partner we can find. People don't seem to know exactly what that means until they see it, so they default to what other people say "Great personality/sense of humor", "great body/smile/income", etc.0 -
I wish men could give birth
Some men wish they could too. I'd have given anything to save my ex from all she went through at the time...plus it's a pretty amazing thing in and of itself.
Wow, I have never heard ANY guy say that! Lol you just won some sort of award. I'm not sure what yet, but you get a trophy ! :bigsmile:
Really??
:noway:
yeah, me neither...my husband slept through my screams the whole time I was in labor, and got pissed when I tried to wake him up
And...this was acceptable behavior to you??
And even worse...I'M single?!
no, it really wasn't and I seriously didn't expect it. kinda made me lose what little self worth I had left after gaining 40 lbs during the pregnancy
ETA: and i'm sorry you're single! :noway:0 -
I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
LOL...but then you have the 'what consititutes a cute face' question! Chubby cheeks? Chiseled features? Facial hair?
=p
Well, like I said, it's "what I find to be" cute. May not be what some other woman likes. I don't mind bald guys, some women do. That sort of thing. I'm pretty varied in what kind of guys I'm attracted to. They don't all have to match up to some arbitrary dream standard. You know what I mean...0 -
I didn't know this was primarily a women's site...
me neither0 -
I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
LOL...but then you have the 'what consititutes a cute face' question! Chubby cheeks? Chiseled features? Facial hair?
=p
Well, like I said, it's "what I find to be" cute. May not be what some other woman likes. I don't mind bald guys, some women do. That sort of thing. I'm pretty varied in what kind of guys I'm attracted to. They don't all have to match up to some arbitrary dream standard. You know what I mean...
I did know what you mean lol. That was just my not so subtle way of finding out what you thought was attractive.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?
Sounds like he is just about as confused as I am over it. It does make more sense, if only for the lifestyle choices.I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.
Someone said something last night regarding using this scenario to never have to actually be in a relationship. Low self image breeds depression and anxiety so it could be a cover-up in response to something that is going on within themselves.
***I think after all of the responses, I think I am going to stick with this idea for a while.VVV
Only generalizing to say specifically SOME overweight women, borderline obese, attempt to compensate for something they lack in their own life by thinking that if they were with this person, somehow it would make them more desirable. I equate it to some degree with the hot chick and ugly friends syndrome; she fills her social circle with people she feels are less desirable than her so that she will appear more attractive. Both of these situations produce the same psychological outcome. I am a realist but I don't expect everyone else to be.
Could you at least admit that this is not a female trait but BOTH genders can be like this?
I know so many guys who are like this it is ridiculous. They are usually either overweight or just not physically attractive but want to date slender attractive women.
Coming from a girl who used to be morbidly obese and could never find a guy, and my standards for looks were never high at all. Guys just didn't want to date me because of my weight.
I have, twice. Hey though, like I said, the other side doesn't affect me so I can't visualize it like I can from this side.0 -
i shouldn’t have read it, but i did.
Dear OP:
first you claimed to be “fit" and constantly hit on by fat girls that you're not attracted to” then later changed your story and professed to being an “average guy”.
now, why do fat girls like skinny and fit guys, when they should know that these guys won’t be attracted to them. essentially saying they should give up. is that what you are implying?
ok, first of all. you, sir, are not God’s gift to women. calm your *kitten* down there, Tonto. seriously. I’m quite “sure” *read as “cool story bro”* that you get “hit on all day” by “gross” fat girls and poor, poor you have to just sigh and take it.
you are amazed by fat girls that say “no six pack, no date.” really? i have yet to meet a fat girl, myself included that has the AUDACITY to spew such vile bull****.
seriously?
guy, let me break it down like this:
1) we can’t help who we are attracted to. It’s human nature and innate in us to be attracted to “perfection” or what is the ideal body.
2) show me a picture of yourself, figure out if you’re thin and fit or “average” and then come and talk to me, b/c i call bull**** loud and clear.
3) every chubby guy i’ve ever had a crush on has brushed me aside like a lump of **** b/c he was too busy chasing the thin, pretty girl that was WAY unattainable for him.
4) i see FAR, FAR more fat, ugly guys with thin, beautiful women than i see in reverse. not that fat=ugly, but it does happen that this is what i see. even the fat attractive guys. W
5) YOU, SIR, YOU ARE THE REASON that fat girls that get hit on in earnest by hot guys are turning away because they think it’s a joke, or a cruel group of guys is snickering in the corner. YOU are the epitome of everything that is wrong with how society thinks as a mob mentality these days of “ew, fat girls.”
thin doesn’t automatically=healthy. When i was 210 pounds, i was running *literlly RUNNING up the side of a mountain. not just a “hiking trail” i mean a real honest to God barely traveled by man mountain. and my skinny friends were ditching out on the mile run in HS long before i was.
so.
in closing.
Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.0 -
I have been a fit person before and now I am "unfit".....Unfortunately there are shallow people in this world :grumble: ...........I stay away from them...It gives me a better chance to be with someone who isnt shallow.0
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i shouldn’t have read it, but i did.
Dear OP:
first you claimed to be “fit" and constantly hit on by fat girls that you're not attracted to” then later changed your story and professed to being an “average guy”.
now, why do fat girls like skinny and fit guys, when they should know that these guys won’t be attracted to them. essentially saying they should give up. is that what you are implying?
ok, first of all. you, sir, are not God’s gift to women. calm your *kitten* down there, Tonto. seriously. I’m quite “sure” *read as “cool story bro”* that you get “hit on all day” by “gross” fat girls and poor, poor you have to just sigh and take it.
you are amazed by fat girls that say “no six pack, no date.” really? i have yet to meet a fat girl, myself included that has the AUDACITY to spew such vile bull****.
seriously?
guy, let me break it down like this:
1) we can’t help who we are attracted to. It’s human nature and innate in us to be attracted to “perfection” or what is the ideal body.
2) show me a picture of yourself, figure out if you’re thin and fit or “average” and then come and talk to me, b/c i call bull**** loud and clear.
3) every chubby guy i’ve ever had a crush on has brushed me aside like a lump of **** b/c he was too busy chasing the thin, pretty girl that was WAY unattainable for him.
4) i see FAR, FAR more fat, ugly guys with thin, beautiful women than i see in reverse. not that fat=ugly, but it does happen that this is what i see. even the fat attractive guys. W
5) YOU, SIR, YOU ARE THE REASON that fat girls that get hit on in earnest by hot guys are turning away because they think it’s a joke, or a cruel group of guys is snickering in the corner. YOU are the epitome of everything that is wrong with how society thinks as a mob mentality these days of “ew, fat girls.”
thin doesn’t automatically=healthy. When i was 210 pounds, i was running *literlly RUNNING up the side of a mountain. not just a “hiking trail” i mean a real honest to God barely traveled by man mountain. and my skinny friends were ditching out on the mile run in HS long before i was.
so.
in closing.
Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.
:laugh: :flowerforyou:0
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