Fit Men / Un-fit Women
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So Like I said no women should ever trust their husbands, boyfriends or any male's opinion of them because we will be white knights and lie to them? And if their not going to openly express that they think fat women are unattractive on this site why don't they just not post at all on that type of subject? People come to this site for help and honest opinions etc. by lying to them it doesnt help them at all.
No, real men when asked for their honest opinion are taught to be honest and if they dont have anything nice to say to keep their mouth shut in order not to lie or risk offending a women. Men who lie, to me lack character and are just spineless jellyfish.
Chris I agree 100% that some guys are attracted to heavier women (nothing wrong with that) and some guys are scared to to hurt a womens feelings, but why do they waste everyone's time including the OP's and post something that isnt true? Why not just not post at all? But in the last thread that I posted in for example regarding this subject it was one other guy and myself that stated that we were not attracted to heavier women and 100 or so other guys posting that they love heavier women. But at the same time their eye candy or celeb. crushes are always fit women. I think its because the women of MFP have more balls and are not afraid to be honest about their likes and dislikes.
So am I, but I doubt we will get an answer.Ok, If both sexes are naturally attracted to fit members of the opposite sex, how comes there is so many men on MFP. that state they prefer larger women? Even though every time they post a pic of their celeb crush or what they consider to be their eye candy etc. its always a fit women and never and larger women. At first I thought that they were trying to be White Knights but now i'm not so sure. Is it because men are afraid to say how they truely feel? I mean I know women on MFP are blunt and say exactly what they like and dislike.
I am very curious about this!
I think it IS that they are scared to say how they feel. Particularly when it comes to women's feelings, which we've all been taught (even the biggest *kitten* among us) to care for and protect.
That is not to say that they aren't somewhat telling the truth, and for some, I'm 100% sure they're attracted to heavier women...but look at it like this. When I'm asked or butt my nose into one of those threads...I'm ALWAYS honest (to me, lying to save feelings is just hurting them more, later). I say that I'm not normally 'attracted' to heavier women. This doesn't mean that certain heavier women couldn't catch my attention, even to the point where there would be real physical attraction. It means that if I was handed a picture and said yes or no...unless the girl was incredibly pretty and I could see some personality in the photo, I'd probably say no. That stupid 'When did this...become more attractive than THIS?!' picture that's posted up, with four thin women and four heavier women below...well, my preferance is the top left. Like...pretty close to my ideal.
Does this mean I couldn't meet, like, love, marry, and absolutely adore a heavier woman? Nope, it doesn't. And I'd love her body just as much as the thinner womans. But the attraction would HAVE to be there at the start, no matter what her weight. Thinner women just have it easier in that regard, where I'm concerned.
And the point of this long winded post is...90% of guys wouldn't tell you that...for fear of being insensitive. Wheras I feel it's insensitive to lie.
I think that answer is simple. Support. Most of those men know what it's like to be ignored, overlooked, put down, or otherwise belittled for their weight. They don't want anyone (particularly women) who doesn't deserve it to suffer through that. It's not being a white knight really...in my opinion, it's just empathizing.
As to the second part...I don't think it's just the women of MFP. Women in general are allowed to like anything they want without fear of hurting feelings or crushing hopes. We're expected to take it like...well, men.
Also what your saying is, No wife or girlfriend ect. should ever trust their man's opinion of them because real men are taught to lie?
No, I think what Chris is saying is that men will happily express what they like, but theyre not going to openly express that they think fat women are unattractive on this site, because there are a lot of overweight women on this site, and that would just hurt a lot of people. So not that they are lying, just not talking about their "dislikes" like they would their "likes".
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So Like I said no women should ever trust their husbands, boyfriends or any male's opinion of them because we will be white knights and lie to them? And if their not going to openly express that they think fat women are unattractive on this site why don't they just not post at all on that type of subject? People come to this site for help and honest opinions etc. by lying to them it doesnt help them at all.
No, real men when asked for their honest opinion are taught to be honest and if they dont have anything nice to say to keep their mouth shut in order not to lie or risk offending a women. Men who lie, to me lack character and are just spineless jellyfish.
Chris I agree 100% that some guys are attracted to heavier women (nothing wrong with that) and some guys are scared to to hurt a womens feelings, but why do they waste everyone's time including the OP's and post something that isnt true? Why not just not post at all? But in the last thread that I posted in for example regarding this subject it was one other guy and myself that stated that we were not attracted to heavier women and 100 or so other guys posting that they love heavier women. But at the same time their eye candy or celeb. crushes are always fit women. I think its because the women of MFP have more balls and are not afraid to be honest about their likes and dislikes.
So am I, but I doubt we will get an answer.Ok, If both sexes are naturally attracted to fit members of the opposite sex, how comes there is so many men on MFP. that state they prefer larger women? Even though every time they post a pic of their celeb crush or what they consider to be their eye candy etc. its always a fit women and never and larger women. At first I thought that they were trying to be White Knights but now i'm not so sure. Is it because men are afraid to say how they truely feel? I mean I know women on MFP are blunt and say exactly what they like and dislike.
I am very curious about this!
I think it IS that they are scared to say how they feel. Particularly when it comes to women's feelings, which we've all been taught (even the biggest *kitten* among us) to care for and protect.
That is not to say that they aren't somewhat telling the truth, and for some, I'm 100% sure they're attracted to heavier women...but look at it like this. When I'm asked or butt my nose into one of those threads...I'm ALWAYS honest (to me, lying to save feelings is just hurting them more, later). I say that I'm not normally 'attracted' to heavier women. This doesn't mean that certain heavier women couldn't catch my attention, even to the point where there would be real physical attraction. It means that if I was handed a picture and said yes or no...unless the girl was incredibly pretty and I could see some personality in the photo, I'd probably say no. That stupid 'When did this...become more attractive than THIS?!' picture that's posted up, with four thin women and four heavier women below...well, my preferance is the top left. Like...pretty close to my ideal.
Does this mean I couldn't meet, like, love, marry, and absolutely adore a heavier woman? Nope, it doesn't. And I'd love her body just as much as the thinner womans. But the attraction would HAVE to be there at the start, no matter what her weight. Thinner women just have it easier in that regard, where I'm concerned.
And the point of this long winded post is...90% of guys wouldn't tell you that...for fear of being insensitive. Wheras I feel it's insensitive to lie.
I think that answer is simple. Support. Most of those men know what it's like to be ignored, overlooked, put down, or otherwise belittled for their weight. They don't want anyone (particularly women) who doesn't deserve it to suffer through that. It's not being a white knight really...in my opinion, it's just empathizing.
As to the second part...I don't think it's just the women of MFP. Women in general are allowed to like anything they want without fear of hurting feelings or crushing hopes. We're expected to take it like...well, men.
Also what your saying is, No wife or girlfriend ect. should ever trust their man's opinion of them because real men are taught to lie?
No, I think what Chris is saying is that men will happily express what they like, but theyre not going to openly express that they think fat women are unattractive on this site, because there are a lot of overweight women on this site, and that would just hurt a lot of people. So not that they are lying, just not talking about their "dislikes" like they would their "likes".
I guess I would have to see the kind of thing you are referring to. I mean if a woman asks am I attractive? Then she deserves whatever polite, honest answer she gets. But wouldn't a husband or boyfriend FIND their wife or girlfriend attractive
AlReady? I think I'm just confused about the context you are referring to because I don't know what kind of posts you are talking about.
Lying is bad. Honesty is good. Avoidance or yes, not posting at all, is sometimes a proper course of action.0 -
I wish men could give birth
The human race would die out.0 -
I think you're going far beyond what I meant...or just missed my point. I said MOST men on this site know what it means to be overweight. To be excluded, belittled, put down...etc. This is regardless of their current level of fitness. This could cause them to be more empathetic to other overweight people...thus 'softening' the reality with a lie. That empathy could also have made them truly feel that looks aren't relevant. Also...embarrassment could have caused them to be more comfortable around heavier women...and now that they've lost weight...when it comes down to it...that comfort remains. And then you have men who are just naturally attracted to heavier women.
Lots of reasons there...and I'm sure there's many others I missed.0 -
I wish men could give birth
The human race would die out.
You give us far too little credit
. 0 -
Chris I understand that, It was less than a year ago that I was obese and weighed 287 lbs last Feb.. Also in my mind I still consider myself as being fat ( its hard to put into words) So sombody that puts down a fat person is also insulting me aswell. What I am saying is instead of lying, give them constructive advice, or just not post anything.I think you're going far beyond what I meant...or just missed my point. I said MOST men on this site know what it means to be overweight. To be excluded, belittled, put down...etc. This is regardless of their current level of fitness. This could cause them to be more empathetic to other overweight people...thus 'softening' the reality with a lie. That empathy could also have made them truly feel that looks aren't relevant. Also...embarrassment could have caused them to be more comfortable around heavier women...and now that they've lost weight...when it comes down to it...that comfort remains. And then you have men who are just naturally attracted to heavier women.
Lots of reasons there...and I'm sure there's many others I missed.0 -
:bigsmile:I wish men could give birth
The human race would die out.
You give us far too little credit.0 -
I think you're going far beyond what I meant...or just missed my point. I said MOST men on this site know what it means to be overweight. To be excluded, belittled, put down...etc. This is regardless of their current level of fitness. This could cause them to be more empathetic to other overweight people...thus 'softening' the reality with a lie. That empathy could also have made them truly feel that looks aren't relevant. Also...embarrassment could have caused them to be more comfortable around heavier women...and now that they've lost weight...when it comes down to it...that comfort remains. And then you have men who are just naturally attracted to heavier women.
Lots of reasons there...and I'm sure there's many others I missed.
You miss the fact that many fat dudes prefer skinny women. Look at TV do you ever see a fat woman with a "hot" husband? No it is always the other way or she has a fat husband herself.0 -
Chris I understand that, It was less than a year ago that I was obese and weighed 287 lbs last Feb.. Also in my mind I still consider myself as being fat ( its hard to put into words) So sombody that puts down a fat person is also insulting me aswell. What I am saying is instead of lying, give them constructive advice, or just not post anything.I think you're going far beyond what I meant...or just missed my point. I said MOST men on this site know what it means to be overweight. To be excluded, belittled, put down...etc. This is regardless of their current level of fitness. This could cause them to be more empathetic to other overweight people...thus 'softening' the reality with a lie. That empathy could also have made them truly feel that looks aren't relevant. Also...embarrassment could have caused them to be more comfortable around heavier women...and now that they've lost weight...when it comes down to it...that comfort remains. And then you have men who are just naturally attracted to heavier women.
Lots of reasons there...and I'm sure there's many others I missed.
Oh I agree completely. As I mentioned...I'm always honest about that.0 -
I think you're going far beyond what I meant...or just missed my point. I said MOST men on this site know what it means to be overweight. To be excluded, belittled, put down...etc. This is regardless of their current level of fitness. This could cause them to be more empathetic to other overweight people...thus 'softening' the reality with a lie. That empathy could also have made them truly feel that looks aren't relevant. Also...embarrassment could have caused them to be more comfortable around heavier women...and now that they've lost weight...when it comes down to it...that comfort remains. And then you have men who are just naturally attracted to heavier women.
Lots of reasons there...and I'm sure there's many others I missed.
You miss the fact that many fat dudes prefer skinny women. Look at TV do you ever see a fat woman with a "hot" husband? No it is always the other way or she has a fat husband herself.
We're talking on mfp specifically. Otherwise...I agree with you.0 -
I wish men could give birth
The human race would die out.
You give us far too little credit.
Every man I've ever known acts like he's going to die if he gets the flu or a cold. I can't imagine a man going through childbirth.
Oh and to be fair, the human race would probably die out if left to me too. I can't see myself going through childbirth either.0 -
I think this is a pig headed notion... Seriously did I just read that lol?0
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Definitely goes both ways!!! I know a lot of un-fit dudes (and *kitten*, jerks, sexist pigs, etc.) who just want a thin little model with perfect skin and no brain. I wonder why they're single? lol :P
AND I know plenty of un-fit ladies who are needy, clingy, demanding, b!tchy, unreasonable, etc, who want a big muscle-y man to put up with them and all their crap and buy them things all the time. I wonder why THEY'RE single.
Basically some people just don't have a clear perception of reality.
Whatever, they'll all probably wise up when they're ready. All in their own time. *shrug*0 -
I think it's a preference not a necessity as generally women can afford to be more selective.0
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Some women probably look for a man like that for motivation. I didn't look for a guy with big muscles, but the guy I fell in love with just happened to have them. I weighed 115 when we got together, then gained up to 130. Then one day it hit me - he works hard to look good for me, so why shouldn't I do it for him? That's when I found MFP and I've lost 8 pounds, bit my goal is to be toned and fit. He's my motivation, so I believe most women look for a man like that to use him as motivation.0
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I wish men could give birth
The human race would die out.
You give us far too little credit.
Every man I've ever known acts like he's going to die if he gets the flu or a cold. I can't imagine a man going through childbirth.
Oh and to be fair, the human race would probably die out if left to me too. I can't see myself going through childbirth either.
HAHAH That's a 'man cold.'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE 0 -
I've been attracted to and dated all body "types". Nice eyes, a beautiful smile and kind personality go a long way. I would not exclude someone due to the lack of X, but rather include them due to my attraction to whatever it is they can offer.0
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I personally dont care what a guy looks like, what matters the most is the personality, ive dated skinny guys, and ripped guys, in the end it boils down to personality over all! (imo) also, i was skinnier when i was married, looked dam good, lol! but as the years went on women tend to get comfy and with taking care of the house, working, taking care of the baby women (at least my friends and i) put ourselves on the back burner and tend to take care of everyone else but ourselves. So personally thats why im here, i have to take care of myself so i can be better for my hubby and my daughter. I grew up very conservative and its been ingrained in me that the women takes care of the house and the family before her needs.0
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For the most part, I am one of these men. Having to forgive myself for the recent uptick in weight, I am blessed to have found MFP to bring myself back into the big picture and have had great success. Overweight women have been attracted to me all my life but I find no attraction to them so this affects me regularly. Without going into what I find attractive, hopefully I can finally figure out what's going on here.
I think you answered your own question right here. You are attracted to who you are attracted to, regardless of what you look like. If I was 100lbs, or 700lbs, I would assume that who I am attracted to does not change.....see what I mean?0 -
It all depends on the company you keep. I'm fat and I'm a woman and I don't hit on anyone because I'm too fat for sex. Very rarely it happens but if someone hit's on me they are usually thin or athletic. My friends are mostly male. I find them very picky about women they make fun of every little imperfection. They seem to think they deserve pin up models for wives. And they easily find girlfriends that fit their "needs" I think woman aren't as picky they go for personality and stuff like that instead of just appearance. I have seen some shallow women but they are usually the types that look and act like they should be on the cast of Jersey Shore. uggh0
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It all depends on the company you keep. I'm fat and I'm a woman and I don't hit on anyone because I'm too fat for sex. Very rarely it happens but if someone hit's on me they are usually thin or athletic. My friends are mostly male. I find them very picky about women they make fun of every little imperfection. They seem to think they deserve pin up models for wives. And they easily find girlfriends that fit their "needs" I think woman aren't as picky they go for personality and stuff like that instead of just appearance. I have seen some shallow women but they are usually the types that look and act like they should be on the cast of Jersey Shore. uggh
How can one be too fat for sex??0 -
I personally have always been a Chubby chaser, but Chubby guys never liked me.
Thin guys found me attractive oddly and none of my exes were ever fat, even though I was.
I am currently with my Fiance who bounces back from 125-130lbs and I (was) hitting almost 240 when we were going out.
I don't know what he found attractive in me, but I appreciated him not only basing his feelings for me on just physical appearance.
I am currently trying to be fit now and thankfully with his support I've lost 50lbs (44lbs on MFP)0 -
I think there is a logical reason for this phenomenom (sp). Women are often busy with having and taking care of kids, working themselves, running the household and what not. Finding time to workout isn't so easy especially is their mate is working like crazy to support them. Also, many people can't afford great quality food. I say all that to say why women are heavy or overweight comes with a lot of reasons.
This is wrong for a few reasons, i know the us is broken home Capitol of the world and all but i dont think this guy is perusing housewives. ALSO (heres the rant) HEALTHY FOOD IS NOT MORE EXPESIVE THAN BAD FOR YOU FOOD!!!! How much does a bunch of bananas cost as opposed to a giant bag of chips, and thats just an example. My very close childhood friend does all that coupon clipping and sale shops but she still ends up paying 3x as much ad i do because of all that processed crap she piles into her cart then sits in her pantry/freezer forever, while i shop produce, meat, dairy 95% i dont EVER buy anything just because its on sale and i feed my family of four on less than $100 a week!!!!
And to answer the original question i will say that i have always been athletic but never got along with athletes ( we yend to have a superiority complex) so i have aleays been attracted to tall skinny slacker types i know how awful for me, but, with that said ive found bigger girls really like my skinny dudes (i mean incapable of building muscle) anthropology says natural selection, we look for mates who comlimpent our faults. Big women eant skinny/ fit dudes so they can have skinny/fit children thats all there is to it, even if we dont realize it. Survival of the fittest plays a big role in our desires, sometimes reality sneaks in and *****smacks us back and we settle for a better match. Get over yourself guy and be happy ppl want you at all, a lil grace can go a long way! Also a little extra weight on a woman is indicative of a fertile woman, also there are those of us who get fixated on a type for whatever reason during youth. For me, my uncle is a tall skinny man who always treated me like a lil princess, truly the nicest man to me ever, maybe has a little to do with my preference, as far as the slacker thing goes i grew up in the 90's and i love me a musician for some reason those things comingled in such a way in my psyche tobriut me to my present preferences! To sum iy up, to each their own0 -
*grabs popcorn*-Ty0
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I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?0
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Just curious but whose to say that a fit women needs to be with a fit man or vis versa?0
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I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.0
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I don't think that is just a female thing. I know a lot of guys who are overweight who only want the little thin girls.
Definitely not a female thing.
I can't tell you the number of personal ads I read with "no fat chicks" or "no one over a size 8" in their shopping list of requirements.
And at the time, I was a teeny tiny little thing, and was no way in hell I'd answer an ad like that. But I'd mentally thank them for being upfront about it, since I liked to avoid shallow d-bags.0 -
I have been a big girl most of my life, trying to be as fit as I possible could. Fit men came to me or was attracted to me. I was never attracted to them, personality first. I usually hate men. But I am a very active bigger girl. I was 18 about 175 at the time adn they flocked to me, only if I let them. I was actually uptight about who I wanted to be with, not for their body type but for a brilliant mind. Hey and its vice versa for men, fat men wanting great outstanding looking women. The man I am wiht now was thin as a stick, I had to make him bigger, too much bone for me. Now he is an bit over average, but he loves me adn I him. I guess I can say more if we click to be together, nothing with looks. I can pass any hottie any time. WHy? CUs hotties too me are lil snubbies and think they are too good for anybody. Dealt with that all my life, been wrong sometimes, but oh well. I believe into getting to actually KNOW someone.0
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I don't think that is just a female thing. I know a lot of guys who are overweight who only want the little thin girls.
Definitely not a female thing.
I can't tell you the number of personal ads I read with "no fat chicks" or "no one over a size 8" in their shopping list of requirements.
And at the time, I was a teeny tiny little thing, and was no way in hell I'd answer an ad like that. But I'd mentally thank them for being upfront about it, since I liked to avoid shallow d-bags.
I agree with this post. I cant stand shallow men or women.0
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