Fit Men / Un-fit Women
Replies
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When I was very over weight and now what I look for in a man has been the same. Personally i have never made comments such as the OP stated about 6 pack abs or muscles. I am more interested in how well I get along with someone, if they are honest, faithful and fun. I think the single most important thing in a relationship is how well the people treat each other, I have had one too many relationships where we didn't get along lol.
Now it is a little more important to me that the person I am with has a similar lifestyle, I let my bf know when we met that I wasn't interested in constantly eating at restaurants.0 -
Beling a large woman all of my life I have found that while the fit muscular "hottie" guys are amazing eye candy it's not what is important. Yes, my hubby is somewhat muscular, but it's not what attracted me to him. Most women turn up their nose at a guy with a nice body ecept for the "spare tire". You could be the hottest eprson on earth and have no personality at all.0
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Women and men both do this. It is nothing new nor surprising.0
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I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
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I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
LOL...but then you have the 'what consititutes a cute face' question! Chubby cheeks? Chiseled features? Facial hair?
=p0 -
I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?
Sounds like he is just about as confused as I am over it. It does make more sense, if only for the lifestyle choices.I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.
Someone said something last night regarding using this scenario to never have to actually be in a relationship. Low self image breeds depression and anxiety so it could be a cover-up in response to something that is going on within themselves.
***I think after all of the responses, I think I am going to stick with this idea for a while.VVV
Only generalizing to say specifically SOME overweight women, borderline obese, attempt to compensate for something they lack in their own life by thinking that if they were with this person, somehow it would make them more desirable. I equate it to some degree with the hot chick and ugly friends syndrome; she fills her social circle with people she feels are less desirable than her so that she will appear more attractive. Both of these situations produce the same psychological outcome. I am a realist but I don't expect everyone else to be.0 -
I've had plenty of fat women tell me they didnt' want to date me because they deserved more than a fat man. True story. Fat women can date the sporty muscle guys. At least here. I went to the zoo yesterday I saw a good dozen couples that were sporty muscle guys with fat women. I never saw it the other way around once
Again... women are the gate keepers.0 -
I wish men could give birth
Some men wish they could too. I'd have given anything to save my ex from all she went through at the time...plus it's a pretty amazing thing in and of itself.
Wow, I have never heard ANY guy say that! Lol you just won some sort of award. I'm not sure what yet, but you get a trophy ! :bigsmile:
Really??
:noway:
yeah, me neither...my husband slept through my screams the whole time I was in labor, and got pissed when I tried to wake him up0 -
I don't think that is just a female thing. I know a lot of guys who are overweight who only want the little thin girls.
Definitely not a female thing.
I can't tell you the number of personal ads I read with "no fat chicks" or "no one over a size 8" in their shopping list of requirements.
And at the time, I was a teeny tiny little thing, and was no way in hell I'd answer an ad like that. But I'd mentally thank them for being upfront about it, since I liked to avoid shallow d-bags.
Yeah, this was my first thought after reading the initial post, too. I always found it ironic that anyone who would say "no fat chicks" were probably big themselves.
I like muscles too, but nothing outrageous. I do not like men that are too skinny, though, but I realize that's a personal preference...0 -
I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?
Sounds like he is just about as confused as I am over it. It does make more sense, if only for the lifestyle choices.I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.
Someone said something last night regarding using this scenario to never have to actually be in a relationship. Low self image breeds depression and anxiety so it could be a cover-up in response to something that is going on within themselves.
***I think after all of the responses, I think I am going to stick with this idea for a while.VVV
Only generalizing to say specifically SOME overweight women, borderline obese, attempt to compensate for something they lack in their own life by thinking that if they were with this person, somehow it would make them more desirable. I equate it to some degree with the hot chick and ugly friends syndrome; she fills her social circle with people she feels are less desirable than her so that she will appear more attractive. Both of these situations produce the same psychological outcome. I am a realist but I don't expect everyone else to be.
Could you at least admit that this is not a female trait but BOTH genders can be like this?
I know so many guys who are like this it is ridiculous. They are usually either overweight or just not physically attractive but want to date slender attractive women.
Coming from a girl who used to be morbidly obese and could never find a guy, and my standards for looks were never high at all. Guys just didn't want to date me because of my weight.0 -
I wish men could give birth
Some men wish they could too. I'd have given anything to save my ex from all she went through at the time...plus it's a pretty amazing thing in and of itself.
Wow, I have never heard ANY guy say that! Lol you just won some sort of award. I'm not sure what yet, but you get a trophy ! :bigsmile:
Really??
:noway:
yeah, me neither...my husband slept through my screams the whole time I was in labor, and got pissed when I tried to wake him up
And...this was acceptable behavior to you??
And even worse...I'M single?!0 -
That's a fair-enough question but it seems a little one-sided. I've witnessed the exact opposite - Don't know how many times I've heard overweight men criticizing overweight women.
But honestly I think some people just don't have a solid sense of reality, or else they just like to talk big (i.e. "no six-pack, no need to apply")
We all want the most attractive, most full-filling partner we can find. People don't seem to know exactly what that means until they see it, so they default to what other people say "Great personality/sense of humor", "great body/smile/income", etc.0 -
I wish men could give birth
Some men wish they could too. I'd have given anything to save my ex from all she went through at the time...plus it's a pretty amazing thing in and of itself.
Wow, I have never heard ANY guy say that! Lol you just won some sort of award. I'm not sure what yet, but you get a trophy ! :bigsmile:
Really??
:noway:
yeah, me neither...my husband slept through my screams the whole time I was in labor, and got pissed when I tried to wake him up
And...this was acceptable behavior to you??
And even worse...I'M single?!
no, it really wasn't and I seriously didn't expect it. kinda made me lose what little self worth I had left after gaining 40 lbs during the pregnancy
ETA: and i'm sorry you're single! :noway:0 -
I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
LOL...but then you have the 'what consititutes a cute face' question! Chubby cheeks? Chiseled features? Facial hair?
=p
Well, like I said, it's "what I find to be" cute. May not be what some other woman likes. I don't mind bald guys, some women do. That sort of thing. I'm pretty varied in what kind of guys I'm attracted to. They don't all have to match up to some arbitrary dream standard. You know what I mean...0 -
I didn't know this was primarily a women's site...
me neither0 -
I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
LOL...but then you have the 'what consititutes a cute face' question! Chubby cheeks? Chiseled features? Facial hair?
=p
Well, like I said, it's "what I find to be" cute. May not be what some other woman likes. I don't mind bald guys, some women do. That sort of thing. I'm pretty varied in what kind of guys I'm attracted to. They don't all have to match up to some arbitrary dream standard. You know what I mean...
I did know what you mean lol. That was just my not so subtle way of finding out what you thought was attractive.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I have a male friend that is very fit and it is the larger girls that like him.....he asked me why fit females don't hit on him.It does make more sense for 2 fit people to be together, doesn't it?
Sounds like he is just about as confused as I am over it. It does make more sense, if only for the lifestyle choices.I have this argument with my single best friend, she is 26 and a size 24. Any-ways she has her standards way to high, like the muscular sporty and fit guys, and doesn't understand why they don't want to date her? So many guys that are in the category has told her no way, friends only. Then she gets mad, I keep telling her looks are not everything, and she needs to go for average joe. She's never even had a boyfriend, and is doomed to be single forever, because all she is interested in is eye candy, and that eye candy wants nothing to do with a fat chick.
Someone said something last night regarding using this scenario to never have to actually be in a relationship. Low self image breeds depression and anxiety so it could be a cover-up in response to something that is going on within themselves.
***I think after all of the responses, I think I am going to stick with this idea for a while.VVV
Only generalizing to say specifically SOME overweight women, borderline obese, attempt to compensate for something they lack in their own life by thinking that if they were with this person, somehow it would make them more desirable. I equate it to some degree with the hot chick and ugly friends syndrome; she fills her social circle with people she feels are less desirable than her so that she will appear more attractive. Both of these situations produce the same psychological outcome. I am a realist but I don't expect everyone else to be.
Could you at least admit that this is not a female trait but BOTH genders can be like this?
I know so many guys who are like this it is ridiculous. They are usually either overweight or just not physically attractive but want to date slender attractive women.
Coming from a girl who used to be morbidly obese and could never find a guy, and my standards for looks were never high at all. Guys just didn't want to date me because of my weight.
I have, twice. Hey though, like I said, the other side doesn't affect me so I can't visualize it like I can from this side.0 -
i shouldn’t have read it, but i did.
Dear OP:
first you claimed to be “fit" and constantly hit on by fat girls that you're not attracted to” then later changed your story and professed to being an “average guy”.
now, why do fat girls like skinny and fit guys, when they should know that these guys won’t be attracted to them. essentially saying they should give up. is that what you are implying?
ok, first of all. you, sir, are not God’s gift to women. calm your *kitten* down there, Tonto. seriously. I’m quite “sure” *read as “cool story bro”* that you get “hit on all day” by “gross” fat girls and poor, poor you have to just sigh and take it.
you are amazed by fat girls that say “no six pack, no date.” really? i have yet to meet a fat girl, myself included that has the AUDACITY to spew such vile bull****.
seriously?
guy, let me break it down like this:
1) we can’t help who we are attracted to. It’s human nature and innate in us to be attracted to “perfection” or what is the ideal body.
2) show me a picture of yourself, figure out if you’re thin and fit or “average” and then come and talk to me, b/c i call bull**** loud and clear.
3) every chubby guy i’ve ever had a crush on has brushed me aside like a lump of **** b/c he was too busy chasing the thin, pretty girl that was WAY unattainable for him.
4) i see FAR, FAR more fat, ugly guys with thin, beautiful women than i see in reverse. not that fat=ugly, but it does happen that this is what i see. even the fat attractive guys. W
5) YOU, SIR, YOU ARE THE REASON that fat girls that get hit on in earnest by hot guys are turning away because they think it’s a joke, or a cruel group of guys is snickering in the corner. YOU are the epitome of everything that is wrong with how society thinks as a mob mentality these days of “ew, fat girls.”
thin doesn’t automatically=healthy. When i was 210 pounds, i was running *literlly RUNNING up the side of a mountain. not just a “hiking trail” i mean a real honest to God barely traveled by man mountain. and my skinny friends were ditching out on the mile run in HS long before i was.
so.
in closing.
Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.0 -
I have been a fit person before and now I am "unfit".....Unfortunately there are shallow people in this world :grumble: ...........I stay away from them...It gives me a better chance to be with someone who isnt shallow.0
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i shouldn’t have read it, but i did.
Dear OP:
first you claimed to be “fit" and constantly hit on by fat girls that you're not attracted to” then later changed your story and professed to being an “average guy”.
now, why do fat girls like skinny and fit guys, when they should know that these guys won’t be attracted to them. essentially saying they should give up. is that what you are implying?
ok, first of all. you, sir, are not God’s gift to women. calm your *kitten* down there, Tonto. seriously. I’m quite “sure” *read as “cool story bro”* that you get “hit on all day” by “gross” fat girls and poor, poor you have to just sigh and take it.
you are amazed by fat girls that say “no six pack, no date.” really? i have yet to meet a fat girl, myself included that has the AUDACITY to spew such vile bull****.
seriously?
guy, let me break it down like this:
1) we can’t help who we are attracted to. It’s human nature and innate in us to be attracted to “perfection” or what is the ideal body.
2) show me a picture of yourself, figure out if you’re thin and fit or “average” and then come and talk to me, b/c i call bull**** loud and clear.
3) every chubby guy i’ve ever had a crush on has brushed me aside like a lump of **** b/c he was too busy chasing the thin, pretty girl that was WAY unattainable for him.
4) i see FAR, FAR more fat, ugly guys with thin, beautiful women than i see in reverse. not that fat=ugly, but it does happen that this is what i see. even the fat attractive guys. W
5) YOU, SIR, YOU ARE THE REASON that fat girls that get hit on in earnest by hot guys are turning away because they think it’s a joke, or a cruel group of guys is snickering in the corner. YOU are the epitome of everything that is wrong with how society thinks as a mob mentality these days of “ew, fat girls.”
thin doesn’t automatically=healthy. When i was 210 pounds, i was running *literlly RUNNING up the side of a mountain. not just a “hiking trail” i mean a real honest to God barely traveled by man mountain. and my skinny friends were ditching out on the mile run in HS long before i was.
so.
in closing.
Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.
:laugh: :flowerforyou:0 -
Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.
In the very best butthead voice I can muster:
"I love you. huh huh"0 -
I'm afraid you might be losing now...
Sorry, Charlie. :flowerforyou:0 -
Well i don't have time to live a very active lifestyle, I work two jobs, on my feet for both of them, and when i get home guess who has to make sure there is dinner ready, the house is somewhat presentable, and that the laundry is caught up with? Yours, truly. I am TIRED when i get home, the last thing i want to do is go run a 5k or work out for 5 hours....but i do try and force myself to at least take my dog for a 2.5 mile walk a few days a week. If a man is going to instantly judge my lifestyle because im not 120 pounds, i don't want to be with him.
On the otherhand though, I have always been overweight, but have always dated fit/somewhat fit men. Not that it's my preference, just thats who ends up talking to me I guess. I like a guy who has muscles, but with a little fat. I am a very confident big girl, which i think attracts men more than "looks" alone. A lot of skinny women are still so self conscious, and worried about how they look, as are bigger girls....but for me, it's kind of a "take it or leave it, cause I can get someone else who wants it" approach to myself.0 -
I think I love you! :laugh: :flowerforyou:i shouldn’t have read it, but i did.
Dear OP:
first you claimed to be “fit" and constantly hit on by fat girls that you're not attracted to” then later changed your story and professed to being an “average guy”.
now, why do fat girls like skinny and fit guys, when they should know that these guys won’t be attracted to them. essentially saying they should give up. is that what you are implying?
ok, first of all. you, sir, are not God’s gift to women. calm your *kitten* down there, Tonto. seriously. I’m quite “sure” *read as “cool story bro”* that you get “hit on all day” by “gross” fat girls and poor, poor you have to just sigh and take it.
you are amazed by fat girls that say “no six pack, no date.” really? i have yet to meet a fat girl, myself included that has the AUDACITY to spew such vile bull****.
seriously?
guy, let me break it down like this:
1) we can’t help who we are attracted to. It’s human nature and innate in us to be attracted to “perfection” or what is the ideal body.
2) show me a picture of yourself, figure out if you’re thin and fit or “average” and then come and talk to me, b/c i call bull**** loud and clear.
3) every chubby guy i’ve ever had a crush on has brushed me aside like a lump of **** b/c he was too busy chasing the thin, pretty girl that was WAY unattainable for him.
4) i see FAR, FAR more fat, ugly guys with thin, beautiful women than i see in reverse. not that fat=ugly, but it does happen that this is what i see. even the fat attractive guys. W
5) YOU, SIR, YOU ARE THE REASON that fat girls that get hit on in earnest by hot guys are turning away because they think it’s a joke, or a cruel group of guys is snickering in the corner. YOU are the epitome of everything that is wrong with how society thinks as a mob mentality these days of “ew, fat girls.”
thin doesn’t automatically=healthy. When i was 210 pounds, i was running *literlly RUNNING up the side of a mountain. not just a “hiking trail” i mean a real honest to God barely traveled by man mountain. and my skinny friends were ditching out on the mile run in HS long before i was.
so.
in closing.
Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.0 -
I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.
My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.
So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem.
Thats me too, i'm really only shallow when it comes to the face and personality....Because what if i end up having a kid with this man? And i like height, but i have dated a guy who was only 5'8...so even though i have standards id like a man to have, my list really isn't that long.
I think a lot of women or men who have this list of a million qualities they want in a s/o physically are just creating an impossible goal so they will never have to be serious with someone. It could be that they have massive commitment issues, or that they are so insecure themselves that they don't want to let anyone break down their walls and find out "who they really are". If someome truly wanted to find love, they would be excepting of any physic that came there way.0 -
I wish men could give birth
I wish there was a "like" button 0 -
All I know is that if I'm going hiking and a woman can't keep up; there isn't any way she's going to have my babies. It's either balls to the walls healthy for both of us or no deal at all.
I find this whole thread fascinating! But the statement above rung most true with me. I very much want a man's man mate, I don't want someone I can out-perform. And why else do I like fit men? Fit men have muscles, which means they're probably stronger than me, which mens they can man handle me. As an aggressive, bigger girl (who is getting smaller) I am very much attracted to males who can handle my size and my personality. I don't like twigs and I am not a fan of morbidly obese. *shrug*0 -
lol because I like my men manly - and I always been a active fat ^^ with lots of energy (nonetheless fat) not my fault... why should I go for someone who can;t keep up with my lifestyle?
as for the rest I am so with sisierra - man needs to be able to handle me ^^ - amen sister0 -
Ok, so this is something I've been thinking about for a very long time now. And since this is primarily a female site, I feel like it's appropriate to ask here. The question is simple yet the answer escapes me.
Why is it that women, overweight women in general, set their preference in men to be strong and fit?
I've seen comments to the effect of, "No six pack, no date" and my man has to have {insert muscle type here}. I bring this up because over the years, I've noticed women, really the entire population, have become bigger and lazier in keeping fit and taking care of themselves. I see a lot of it here but also when out with friends. Most of my friends are female but I would never ask them this.
If men are doing all that they can do to stay healthy by strength training, cardio, diet and active hobbies, why is it that overweight women without an active lifestyle would think that a man like this would be interested in them?
For the most part, I am one of these men. Having to forgive myself for the recent uptick in weight, I am blessed to have found MFP to bring myself back into the big picture and have had great success. Overweight women have been attracted to me all my life but I find no attraction to them so this affects me regularly. Without going into what I find attractive, hopefully I can finally figure out what's going on here.
Please don't be offended by any of these statements or questions; they are intended for educational purposes only and should not be taken personally.
First of all, how about DON'T DATE OVERWEIGHT WOMEN THEN!!! Sheesh! If you aren't attracted to them then don't date them. It's pretty simple. Is someone holding a gun to your head??? Plus, personally I think your post is WAYYYY OFF!!! Women are much more forgiving of men's looks than the other way around. I see hideous men with the most beautiful women lots more than I have seen good looking men with ugly out-of-shape women. You obviously didn't see the thread about which body types women find most attractive in men. Almost all of the women picked the pictures of the semi-fit to very overweight men over the thinner more muscular men. I don't know what planet you are living on. You are a little too in love with yourself if you ask me, and guess what??? That is NOT attractive no matter how back in shape you've gotten.
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Odd, I thought this thread was locked.0
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