cheating and in-love, mutually exclusive or no?

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  • naddel02
    naddel02 Posts: 12 Member
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    @NYCDutchess i agree with you 100% u can not be in love with someone and cheat, because when you in love you don't want no one else but that person on the side of you, and no matter what that person always on your mind, and no matter what any man/woman try to do or say you can not cheat.
  • f1ctional
    f1ctional Posts: 235
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    Sure you can. Doesn't say much for your commitment and character, though.


    ^^
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I believe it's possible...for one reason.

    I'm 150% positive that my ex still loves me. It's in how she acts (both positives and negatives), the things she says, the things she does. I know her very, very well.

    SHE cheated on me (multiple times actually), left me a year ago, lives with another guy, the list goes on.

    So yes, I believe that a person can cheat and still love the person they cheated on.

    Now, if you ask me if I could?

    Umm, Hell no.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    No, I couldn't cheat on my bf. I know it would hurt him. I love him that much.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    All interesting responses, but lets pose a scenario

    Guy gets in accident and is paralyzed from neck down.

    Wife is fully devoted to him, loves him, prays for him, waits on him hand n foot....

    And she truly, truly loves him....

    But she wants to get physical attention and has a one night stamd, no emotions just physical....

    Isnt that cheating n being IN love?

    It is cheating and I see if you cheat with someone else you don't really love the person you are supposedly IN love with. There are toys to make this needy wife with a paralyzed husband happy :)
  • DestroyTheOpposition
    DestroyTheOpposition Posts: 444 Member
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    Yes you can.
  • guamSUPERgirl90
    guamSUPERgirl90 Posts: 255
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    You are not in love if you cheat on him/her. I speak from experience. The feeling you have for them is not love. Its the next best thing. You simply have so much feelings for this person but yet cheating on them when you know it will hurt them is not love. Love is when you do all you can to keep this person happy. That means being loyal, being able to not give in to selfish acts that you know will only benefit for yourself. Being in love, you want to share your happiness with them and vice versa.

    If your not ready to just be with one person, talk with your other half. See where that goes. Maybe there are certain fantasies you guys can full fill together without the need of going outside the relationship. If that doesn't work, your either not ready to love someone or maybe you should look up being poly-amorous.
  • EmilyTwist1
    EmilyTwist1 Posts: 206 Member
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    I think it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. Ideally, if you love someone and found yourself interested in someone else as well, instead of cheating and betraying your partner's trust, you would talk to them about it. However, our societal norms are for couples NOT to discuss these things (which really isn't healthy), so many people feel like their only options are to suppress their feelings or to cheat. Either one of those can severely damage a relationship.
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
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    for me it comes down to this .. I love you I love you I LOVE YOU.
    if they cheat.. I bolt..
    if they show me signs I DODGE,..

    my first husband and I could talk about anything.. lovers . whatever.. but* we had to end the marriage due to something on his part ..

    my current husband is younger ...I think I give him passes where he shouldn't have any.
    I love him but at the end of the day


    does he love me..........?

    this is when cheating happens I am .. super loyal.

    but I need to know that I am loved .. sex is not important .. I need to know I am the one you want , need cherish .. if that isn't there,.... I am lost .. and I am searching for the one.


    I am still exclusive.
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,292 Member
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    I think if you are truly and completely in love then there is no way or reason you would cheat. I feel that if you cheat, you want to be with the other person more than the one you are with.....so just end it. Why cheat and break someones heart and make a fool out of them. Sure you can love more than one person but I dont think you can be "in love" with more than one person. Staying faithful is a choice and im sure a challenge to many people but nobody said relationships are easy. For better or worse doesnt mean...or until something hotter or more attractive comes along.
    baby u mus be awful young
  • JeepBaja
    JeepBaja Posts: 1,824 Member
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    Either your committed or not. If you are not happy with the person you are with then move on. Yeah, easier said than done, I know.

    Doesn't the change the fact that either you are committed or not. Anything less is fake or not real...
  • EmilyTwist1
    EmilyTwist1 Posts: 206 Member
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    On the issue of "Is it cheating if there's consent?"... This is how I see it. Saying that all non-monogamy is cheating, regardless of consent is like saying all sex is rape, regardless of consent.

    Another way I like to describe it is that cheating means breaking the rules. If the rules of a relationship allow for sex/relationships outside that relationship, then doing so doesn't break the rules and therefore isn't cheating.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I think if you are truly and completely in love then there is no way or reason you would cheat. I feel that if you cheat, you want to be with the other person more than the one you are with.....so just end it. Why cheat and break someones heart and make a fool out of them. Sure you can love more than one person but I dont think you can be "in love" with more than one person. Staying faithful is a choice and im sure a challenge to many people but nobody said relationships are easy. For better or worse doesnt mean...or until something hotter or more attractive comes along.
    baby u mus be awful young

    Lol...I was thinking that too, but it's ironic, because that's how I am in a relationship. Other than the fact that I won't 'just end it'...because if I say I love you...it means I love you...not just until I don't feel like loving you anymore.

    Go figure.
  • lorijh72
    lorijh72 Posts: 118 Member
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    will this help me lose weight?
    LMFAO!!!!! Well it could if you became a cheater and a lot horizontal poka was going on and the name of the activity was , sexercise, then yes, I do believe so, weight loss is possible!
  • roshart
    roshart Posts: 18
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    I think if you really love someone, you can't cheat because you know you will hurt them.

    Maybe you're not "IN LOVE" but you love on some level. Not enough though to be in a committed relationship.



    So true.. if you really love someone you just couldn;t inflict that hurt on them, and why would you jeopardise your relationship for a quick fling?
  • TheFunBun
    TheFunBun Posts: 793 Member
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    I think you can cheat on someone you love if you're a very selfish person. Love coexists with selfishness sometimes.

    I do think if you feel that you can do this kind of thing then you need to re-evaluate what type of person you are. Mutually agreed upon swinging is an entirely different concept.. but sneaking and lying and cheating definitely is born of selfishness.

    I believe in love and in love, but I don't think they're reasons to cheat. Obviously, if you're so involved with your love as to be "in love", it's totally in line with your selfishness to stick around that person and not sleep around. If you're just having the nice warm comfortable love that most of us have you have eyes for others.. and it's your moral compass that keeps you in line.. or lack of.
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
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    If you truly love the person, then I don't think you can cheat on them. I know the thought of being with anyone other than my fiance makes me sick. I also know that people in relationships cheat,and when it gets to the point where you're considering having sex with another person, it's time to have a serious talk with your significant other
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
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    Cheating on someone is a scumbag move, no excuses, period.

    Be a man/woman about it and end the relationship beforehand.
  • ScientistStudy
    ScientistStudy Posts: 249 Member
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    Personally I have a zero-tolerance for cheaters. I could never do that to my boyfriend and if think that if you truly love your partner you wouldn't cheat on them, plain and simple. To me there's no excuse.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
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    *kitten* no. If you love someone you don't want to be with anyone else. You wouldn't want to inflict that pain on your significant other. If you cheat, you do not love, plain and simple.

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