Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

Trail_Addict

If you make twice his income, do you still expect him to pay?

And that's a very good point, too. If I make quite a bit more than the person I'm dining with, then I offer to pay - male or female.

Yes, but we already knew you were awesome! ;-)

VeganInTraining

He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

run for the hills!

Trail_Addict

He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

The dude lacks manners!

wonderwomanwannaB

I always am prepared to pay for myself on a date (from the first one to the 100th one) However, if he offers to pay the whole bill I graciously accept his offer.

Hraggle

It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

sjtreely

He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

Yep. You just bought yourself a $50 lesson. Live and learn. Move on and don't look in your rear view mirror.

determinedbutlazy

Just imo, he should OFFER to pay, and a girl should offer to go dutch.
If he insists more than twice, I let him pay. No need to cut the guy's balls off if he's trying to be nice.

Jon_Rod

I think the guy pays on the first date. After that, there should be a little back and forth, if you're going out a lot and that kind of thing. I was with someone for a while that never ever paid, ever. And, it really got to me after a while. I never said anything, which is totally my fault. But, I guess I didn't know how to bring it up. Just was weird.

I Agree : )

Stardiva37

yes..i would leave the tip

travisseger

I always paid for the first dates and all of the ones after that. Not saying it's right or wrong, it's just the way I was raised. I've been married 16 years this week and still feel a little weird when my wife beats me to getting out the debit card at a bar or restaurant...even though it's all coming out of the same bank account.

EpiGaiaRepens

I think it's outdated notions of gender roles that says the guy has to pay. So if he "HAS TO" pay, then you might also "HAVE TO" to do some traditional female gender role stuff...

IMHO, this is all so outdated it's ridiculous. When I'm asked out, I assume it's for us to hang out and do stuff together. I'm always prepared to pay my own fare/food/gas. If he pays, then I take it as a sign that he likes me or wants this to be more than just hanging out. Of course, if I like him, that makes me happy. If i'm not sure how i feel about him, it's makes me wary.

My current partner, our first "hang out" was snowboarding. I drove. We each paid our own way. Later he kept inviting me and I didn't have the funds so I said no. He offered to pay for me and DOH! I didn't get that he actually wanted to DATE me! haha! I thought he was just being nice, so I kept saying no.

Then months later I insisted we hang out again. He set aside an entire weekend to hang out with me. Only after we had agreed to spend the weekend together doing awesome things, I found out it was his birhtday that weekend...so our first real date was Two days, and I paid for EVERYTHING because it was his birhtday.

And i think we have basically been inseperable since!

warmachinejt

I'd say split it...

this is what i would do...unless i asked the girl out i guess?

Darlingir

Maybe I'm old fashioned but yes, if he did the asking...and even if he didn't

(and yes, I believe in gender roles) hate me if you want

TheAncientMariner

Sure... I'll offer, but I won't insist.

victoria4321

It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

How is it sexist if he asked her out on the date? Its not like you just go on a date to get a free lunch. He's expecting her to make time out of her day to spend it with him whom she doesn't even know that well. The least he can do is pick up the check. I'm sure if she was just hungry she can always go to the supermarket.

I guess some girls just don't get asked out often. It's kind of sad you think a date is just a meal.

j4nash

It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

I like you

DrBorkBork

The man should pay for every date unless the partner says otherwise!

ktrn0312

I am old fashion where I believe the man should pay & do the pursing. Once a relationship is established then we can go dutch or the woman pay for dates or activities.

femmi1120

It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

I just think that regardless of gender, whoever invites the other should be the one paying. Think about it, if a guy asks you out on a date and gets to decide where you go, shouldn't he be responsible for the bill? What if you're interested in him and want to get to know him better but don't necessarily want to pay for a $30 entree to do it? Same goes for girls. If the girl asks, she should never expect the guy to pay for himself, much less cover the entire bill. I'm all for equality, but I still think whoever does the asking out should expect to pay.

j4nash

To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

ShannanLaNae

What s incredible is that this is even a question, if your a dude with short arms and deep pockets u can do starbucks you can go to the park and do a picnic lunch, Hell in the OP s case the guy spent 25 bucks that could have been a date at a pizzeria. It ain't what you got but what you do with it. The real problem is that too many women accept this ridiculous behavior from guys asking them out.

SO TRUE DAVE...

taunto

It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

How is it sexist if he asked her out on the date? Its not like you just go on a date to get a free lunch. He's expecting her to make time out of her day to spend it with him whom she doesn't even know that well. The least he can do is pick up the check. I'm sure if she was just hungry she can always go to the supermarket.

I guess some girls just don't get asked out often. It's kind of sad you think a date is just a meal.

Wow. Seriously...WOW!!

I am at a loss of words. Thank god the girls I ask out don't think they're doing me a favor by going out with me

I don't even know why I'm surprised by a statement like this

edit: I always pay and I will insist on paying atleast 2 twice with all sincerity after which I will agree to go dutch. But please, don't do me a favor by going out with me when I ask you out. I know you think you're a gods gift to all men (and probably in your mind to most women too) but save this mortal from any embarrassment and just reject me.

femmi1120

To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

Seeing as how I only go for super shy nerdy guys, I tend to always be the one asking out (:

ScatteredThoughts

How is it sexist if he asked her out on the date? Its not like you just go on a date to get a free lunch. He's expecting her to make time out of her day to spend it with him whom she doesn't even know that well. The least he can do is pick up the check. I'm sure if she was just hungry she can always go to the supermarket.

I guess some girls just don't get asked out often. It's kind of sad you think a date is just a meal.

And the guy knows her all that well? He is not taking time out of his day? Yes, a date is not just about a meal. It's hopefully about two people enjoying each other's company.

taunto

Simple rule: If the guy pays, you gotta put out. Sorry ladies, I don't make the rules. I merely enforce it

Cooriander

I prefer that the guy pays for the first date, especially if he invited me on a date - I am old-fashioned. I don't like the idea that who is paying for the first date should be dependent on income. That being said, I prefer to pay for my part when the date is not working out. Weird, huh?

victoria4321

It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

How is it sexist if he asked her out on the date? Its not like you just go on a date to get a free lunch. He's expecting her to make time out of her day to spend it with him whom she doesn't even know that well. The least he can do is pick up the check. I'm sure if she was just hungry she can always go to the supermarket.

I guess some girls just don't get asked out often. It's kind of sad you think a date is just a meal.

Wow. Seriously...WOW!!

I am at a loss of words. Thank god the girls I ask out don't think they're doing me a favor by going out with me

I don't even know why I'm surprised by a statement like this

edit: I always pay and I will insist on paying atleast 2 twice with all sincerity after which I will agree to go dutch. But please, don't do me a favor by going out with me when I ask you out. I know you think you're a gods gift to all men (and probably in your mind to most women too) but save this mortal from any embarrassment and just reject me.

I'm not sure why you're surprised either. When I go out on a dinner date I have to spend time getting ready, planning an outfit, doing my hair etc etc. If we're just going to the dive bar down the block then it doesn't really matter, but thats more of a hang out and not even a date.

I never said I think a date is doing the guy a favor but you can't possibly expect a girl to go all out for a stranger then be annoyed that she expects you to pay.

fatboypup

a guy should pay on every date until he's married then its her turn

hanahlai

Just wanting to know everyone's view on who should pay on a frist date. I know equal right and all that but if I guy does not pay for me on the first date I just assume he is a tight a*rse and he not getting a second date.

Sunday night, first date, dinner came to $75 I gave him $50 and he took it and did not offer any change, hmm nice!

Gack!!!
Yes, I am not old-fashioned in most ways, but I think the guy should pay for dates. Especially, if he is the one asking for it!

hesn92

I am not old fashioned at all. I don't think the guy should pay just because he's a man. I think whoever does the asking out should be the one to pay.