Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

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  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,350 Member
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    If you make twice his income, do you still expect him to pay?

    And that's a very good point, too. If I make quite a bit more than the person I'm dining with, then I offer to pay - male or female.

    Yes, but we already knew you were awesome! ;-)
  • VeganInTraining
    VeganInTraining Posts: 1,321 Member
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    He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

    run for the hills!
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,350 Member
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    He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

    The dude lacks manners!
  • wonderwomanwannaB
    wonderwomanwannaB Posts: 111
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    I always am prepared to pay for myself on a date (from the first one to the 100th one) However, if he offers to pay the whole bill I graciously accept his offer.
  • Hraggle
    Hraggle Posts: 2
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    It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

    This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

    How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

    This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

    Yep. You just bought yourself a $50 lesson. Live and learn. Move on and don't look in your rear view mirror.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Just imo, he should OFFER to pay, and a girl should offer to go dutch.
    If he insists more than twice, I let him pay. No need to cut the guy's balls off if he's trying to be nice.
  • Jon_Rod
    Jon_Rod Posts: 158
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    I think the guy pays on the first date. After that, there should be a little back and forth, if you're going out a lot and that kind of thing. I was with someone for a while that never ever paid, ever. And, it really got to me after a while. I never said anything, which is totally my fault. But, I guess I didn't know how to bring it up. Just was weird.


    I Agree : )
  • Stardiva37
    Stardiva37 Posts: 169 Member
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    yes..i would leave the tip
  • travisseger
    travisseger Posts: 271 Member
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    I always paid for the first dates and all of the ones after that. Not saying it's right or wrong, it's just the way I was raised. I've been married 16 years this week and still feel a little weird when my wife beats me to getting out the debit card at a bar or restaurant...even though it's all coming out of the same bank account.
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    I think it's outdated notions of gender roles that says the guy has to pay. So if he "HAS TO" pay, then you might also "HAVE TO" to do some traditional female gender role stuff...

    IMHO, this is all so outdated it's ridiculous. When I'm asked out, I assume it's for us to hang out and do stuff together. I'm always prepared to pay my own fare/food/gas. If he pays, then I take it as a sign that he likes me or wants this to be more than just hanging out. Of course, if I like him, that makes me happy. If i'm not sure how i feel about him, it's makes me wary.

    My current partner, our first "hang out" was snowboarding. I drove. We each paid our own way. Later he kept inviting me and I didn't have the funds so I said no. He offered to pay for me and DOH! I didn't get that he actually wanted to DATE me! haha! I thought he was just being nice, so I kept saying no.

    Then months later I insisted we hang out again. He set aside an entire weekend to hang out with me. Only after we had agreed to spend the weekend together doing awesome things, I found out it was his birhtday that weekend...so our first real date was Two days, and I paid for EVERYTHING because it was his birhtday.

    And i think we have basically been inseperable since! :)
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    I'd say split it...
    this is what i would do...unless i asked the girl out i guess?
  • Darlingir
    Darlingir Posts: 437
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    Maybe I'm old fashioned but yes, if he did the asking...and even if he didn't

    (and yes, I believe in gender roles) hate me if you want
  • TheAncientMariner
    TheAncientMariner Posts: 444 Member
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    Sure... I'll offer, but I won't insist.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

    This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

    How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

    This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

    How is it sexist if he asked her out on the date? Its not like you just go on a date to get a free lunch. He's expecting her to make time out of her day to spend it with him whom she doesn't even know that well. The least he can do is pick up the check. I'm sure if she was just hungry she can always go to the supermarket.

    I guess some girls just don't get asked out often. It's kind of sad you think a date is just a meal.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

    This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

    How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

    This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

    I like you :)
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
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    The man should pay for every date unless the partner says otherwise!
  • ktrn0312
    ktrn0312 Posts: 723 Member
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    I am old fashion where I believe the man should pay & do the pursing. Once a relationship is established then we can go dutch or the woman pay for dates or activities.
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
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    It's sexist to expect the man to pay just because he's a man. If it's the first date or the 30th, it doesn't matter. He's no more obligated to pay the whole bill than you are.

    This is just ingrained sexism, and I'm actually kind of surprised that women still expect this behavior. Considering it was born from a time where women weren't allowed to carry their own money, I see no reason to perpetuate it. And the claims that "gentlemen pay for the meal" is just shaming men into acting in a way that perpetuates and encourages sexism (against BOTH genders).

    How about stop being so entitled, and just split the bill. We're equal.

    This whole thread is just a terrible disappointment.

    I just think that regardless of gender, whoever invites the other should be the one paying. Think about it, if a guy asks you out on a date and gets to decide where you go, shouldn't he be responsible for the bill? What if you're interested in him and want to get to know him better but don't necessarily want to pay for a $30 entree to do it? Same goes for girls. If the girl asks, she should never expect the guy to pay for himself, much less cover the entire bill. I'm all for equality, but I still think whoever does the asking out should expect to pay.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

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