Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

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Replies

  • sunnyday789
    sunnyday789 Posts: 309 Member
    I am not a women's libber!!!

    I love being a woman and do not want to be equaled to a man. :) (of course I am from the South... and while some of you may call it backwards, we just call it good raisin') :)



    But do you like having the right to vote?
  • sunnyday789
    sunnyday789 Posts: 309 Member
    guy pays but then again guys shouldnt be setting up expensive first dates with women they arent sure about and not sure if she's into him.

    edited to add : there is no contradiction in believing in women's rights and believing that men and women have different hormones which means what creates and sustains attraction and chemistry between the two are completely different. if i'm going dutch on a first date then i'm immediately placing the guy in the FZ area because it just reminds me of what i do with my friends. once a guy is in my friend zone, there's no coming out..

    a guys who pays for and most importantly PLANS the first date makes a different impression.

    and i've asked guys out on first dates in my youth. but these were guys i had no interest in for anything more than a FWB relationship.

    What have hormones and chemistry to do with who pays? Does that only happen for you when the man pays?
  • ninaquelinda
    ninaquelinda Posts: 136
    Never been on a date before... but if the situation ever came up for me I would immediately offer first. If my date refuses for whatever reason then there's nothing I can do but respect their wishes.
    What are you waiting for? Go ask someone out! :flowerforyou:
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    Never been on a date before... but if the situation ever came up for me I would immediately offer first. If my date refuses for whatever reason then there's nothing I can do but respect their wishes.


    Yay, someone else like me...
  • caddygarcia123
    caddygarcia123 Posts: 122 Member
    Sorry but its not the era where the man pays everything!!! Honestly offer to pay for half up front regardless of who asked who, if the guy says no then let him pay for it. Just because we have womanly parts doesn't entitle us to a free meal. I always offer to pay half the bill regardless and if he pays for all of it then I make him promise to let me get the second date. Has nothing to do with being a complete gentlemen or me taking time outta my day to look pretty for him, we are both either having a great time or a ****ty time. OP next time be more prepared with the cash on you so you wont fork over 50 bucks for a 75 dollar date or you could have asked if they could charge half the ticket on to your debit.
  • ECA67
    ECA67 Posts: 802 Member
    Whoever asks for the date should always pay. When the man insists on paying that just raises his character.
  • talamer
    talamer Posts: 516 Member
    Whoever asks for the date should always pay. When the man insists on paying that just raises his character.
    absolutely agreed! the guy should pay if he is a gentleman and never ask from the girl!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Women wanted equal rights. You got it. Now, fork out the bill for the date
  • 11gordo
    11gordo Posts: 4
    I would have to say it depends on who asked for the date. With this day in age everyone, man or women want their independence. So if women ask to pay there is nothing wrong with it. And if a man wnats to pay there is nothing wrong with that.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I have never dated a guy who asked me to pay for anything, let along a first, second, third, etc. date.

    I like it that way.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I am not a women's libber!!!

    I love being a woman and do not want to be equaled to a man. :) (of course I am from the South... and while some of you may call it backwards, we just call it good raisin') :)

    Think it would be great for him to pay for the first date, but I'm always prepared just in case.

    My problem is not with the going out... it's the staying in.. I like to cook and will do so for my fella. But I've also experienced where I'm buying all the groceries and he's doing a whole lot of eating. Shouldn't he help out with that every once in a while?

    When I dated a guy like that I just never paid when we went out. I didn't expect him to pay for my groceries since he always paid for the dates so it worked out well.
  • rajivdubey
    rajivdubey Posts: 382 Member
    Irrespective of who has asked for a date, the MAN pays!
  • LoveMyLifeAK
    LoveMyLifeAK Posts: 4
    It's 2012!
    What's chivalry?(:

    Nonetheless I would not pay on a date. Never have, never will.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Yes... whoever does the asking and planning should pay. In practice, that is the man. Women don't have to ask men out because they already have enough offers to than they know what to do with, and mostly have to concern themselves with turning men *down*. You can trumpet equality all you want, but you're not going to change the fact that single women are more in demand than single men.

    HOWEVER: you're a chump if you pay a lot, or really anything really, for the *first* date. If she requires a $200 dinner as tribute, rather than the pleasure of your company, you're a fool.
  • jensterx3
    jensterx3 Posts: 21
    I think everything should be 50-50. I'm financially independent; I don't see why he has to pay for me ;) although it is a nice gesture when offered, I usually politely decline.
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
    Whoever asks for the date should always pay. When the man insists on paying that just raises his character.

    This!!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    The politically correct answer is probably "Whoever initiated the date should pay, unless prior arrangements are discussed.'

    In my world and my generation the guy pays. He picks her up at her home. He meets her parents, if applicable. He opens doors. He pays. He returns her to her home and thanks her for the evening. That's the first date in my world. It was the first date of all my daughters as well.
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    I take my babe to Aldi's and let her get whatever she wants with my foodstamp card. I'll take it home and cook for her.
  • acg1305
    acg1305 Posts: 224 Member
    Definitely guy should pay on the first date
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    my favorite responses are "it should be 50/50, but if he offers, let him."

    because the guy will probably always offer. and if they don't the woman thinks less of him (in most cases, i surmise), even though they stated it should be 50/50. like i said, in most cases. there are women who would be fine with paying half, but i think if most are honest - they would be a little let down if the man didn't at least offer to pay the entire bill.
  • MichaeltheMarine
    MichaeltheMarine Posts: 889 Member
    Absolutely!
  • rbn_held
    rbn_held Posts: 690 Member
    Yes I would say on the first few dates the guy should pay. After that it is nice if the woman at least offers sometimes. My boyfriend still pays most of the time but I still offer. Sometimes I will pay the check while he is away from the table that way he doesn't have a choice lol
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Whoever invited the other person out on the date should offer to pay. If I ask a guy out, I'd offer to pay. And I wouldn't be mortified if he let me pay for him---the date was my idea!

    If he asks me out on the date, he should pay. I ALWAYS offer to split the bill (although I know most women probably wouldn't on the first date--just the way I am), but I've never actually had a guy let me pay for my half on our first date.

    The first time I went out with my bf he asked me out, he paid for dinner. I suggested we go to this other place and grab drinks after, so I offered to pay for our drinks (he didn't let me, but I still offered). I think it's rude to invite somebody out on a date and then expect them to pay for you. That's like inviting your friend to to movies and then expecting them to buy your ticket...

    Now that we've been together for 3 1/2 years, my bf and I pretty much always split the bill when we go on dates (unless it's like special occasion, I take him out for his birthday, he's taking me on a date this weekend as part of a Mother's Day present, etc). I figure we both have jobs, we both have money, why should only one of us foot the bill?
  • WelcomeToWonderland
    WelcomeToWonderland Posts: 89

    I was told "You're a backminded foreigner who doesn't think women are capable for doing anything on their own. Maybe in your country women will take that but not in America!". This was said to me after I offered to help this tiny petite girl I knew with lifting up this heavy TV. I woulda done the same for any male too.

    Conclusion: I give up on understanding women

    To which you should have replied "Pardon me, I thought you were a lady..."
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    YES! There is no reason for a guy to not pay on the first date.
  • Skeels
    Skeels Posts: 929 Member
    Yes!!!!!
  • BBiggsjr
    BBiggsjr Posts: 1
    That depends on who did the inviting. If he invites, then he pays. Pretty simple. If you invite, assuming you are female, then you pay or offer to pay. If he is worth his salt, he will pay anyway. It is also wise to settle the question whenever the date is made - such as saying that you expect to go "Dutch" or that you will pay. That way there are no hurt feelings or expectations.
  • Greensherbert
    Greensherbert Posts: 15 Member
    I think if the guy asked then they should pay --
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
    I never expect or assume the man will pay. I always offer to pay for my dinner.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    When I was dating if i asked him out I offer to pay the whole thing, if he asks me out my wallet wouldn't even get unholstered unless he said something. if we agreed to split the bill before hand, I'd go 50/50. From my calculation, on $75 bill if the service was excellent I'd expect to leave a 20% tip bringing the total to $90. When the change came I'd say, "oh, and so the tip should be $15 so do we need to ask for change to get our 5's or do you already have one to give me?"

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