Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

BAMFMeredith

I was told "You're a backminded foreigner who doesn't think women are capable for doing anything on their own. Maybe in your country women will take that but not in America!". This was said to me after I offered to help this tiny petite girl I knew with lifting up this heavy TV. I woulda done the same for any male too.

Conclusion: I give up on understanding women

To which you should have replied "Pardon me, I thought you were a lady..."

That woman clearly had some kind of independent woman complex...I would be offended if somebody DIDN'T offer to help me lift some huge TV or something lol

JennaM222

If he is IN to the girl, yes. Like, he is the one who asked her out, chased her, etc.

If it is a blind date type deal, or something like that and you do not plan on taking her out again...I think the tab should be split.

kayleesays

Split. If I don't know him, he doesn't owe me any favors and shouldn't feel obligated to pay.

However, everyone should always offer.

lelaspeaks

If he asked the girl out, then yes, absolutely.

ninaquelinda

I take my babe to Aldi's and let her get whatever she wants with my foodstamp card. I'll take it home and cook for her.

And if that goes well do you upgrade to Giant Eagle for the second date? :laugh:

Mom0fTwo

yep they should, my boyfriend (now husband ) always paid in the beginning. When we got a little more comfortable together I would pay every once in a while so that I wouldn't feel like I was taking advantage.Even now after 7 years, he will say "I got this" and wink at me ( it is funny cause we have a joint account)

Maude_Lewbowski

IMHO, if you have to ask you shouldn't be going on the date in the first place.

mikeyboy

If I asked the girl out, then I would pay. If she asked me out, the I would offer to pay, or at least pay half.

XXXMinnieXXX

i'd offer to pay half, but if he wanted to pay i would let him. I certainly would not expect him to though! Equal rights and all that... it's what we always ask for, then some people don't like it, when that's what we get imo. x

MsMuniz

whoever asked the other on a date should pay.

Sbernardo7711

YES!! No question about it! If you have been dating someone for awhile then you can take turns but the first few dates he better pay!

juicy011

First off it's rude to take your money and not offer any back.IMO It would be nice if the guy paid to show he cares, but if not the bill should be split !!

morganhccstudent724

Did not read all the responses.

This is what my mother would say:

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

Roadie2000

I always offer to pay. Although I also generally offer to pay if I'm just getting drinks with friends too, that's just the way I am. But I'll get a little bitter if we hang out a few times and they never once offer to help pay or at least pick up the tip.

If I'm looking to be in a relationship with someone I want to feel like we are a team. If someone feels entitled to get free food just because they are a female then I'll assume they expect special treatment all the time.

Some women EXPECT men to have manners and to treat them a certain way, yet they have no manners themselves. Kind of disrespectful.

jackpotclown

IMHO, if you have to ask you shouldn't be going on the date in the first place.

This^^

LorinaLynn

I always offered to pay my share, but I wasn't going to twist the dude's arm if he insisted on paying, unless the date was HORRIBLE and I knew I never wanted to see him again.

I usually would leave the tip at least, or buy a round of drinks, or rent a movie... something. I didn't like feeling like I owe anyone anything.

kokaneesailor

Yes.

ScatteredThoughts

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

Because your time is that much more important than his?

JennaM222

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

Because your time is that much more important than his?

YES

Morgans mom knows best!

vade43113

Did not read all the responses.

This is what my mother would say:

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

He is also paying with his time...

clotho

I think that whoever did the asking should pay. After all they likely chose the location (and therefore cost) of the date. After the first date the bill should be split in some equitable way. If one person clearly has significant more financial resources it is good for that person to pay more as dates continue.

kristelpoole

Sounds like a loser and it sounds like you already know that.

My boyfriend paid for our first date and then the next 20 or so, too. Now he also pays the mortgage and the bills. I buy all the groceries, added him to my gym membership and will try to slip in and pay occasionally when he's not looking - either for coffee or for a fancy $200 dinner. It's my way of saying thank you.

But it didn't start that way and my boyfriend and I agree on the standard. He's a gentleman. I've lived with him for over a year and he still opens my car door for me 99% of the time. He's proud to provide for me. I'm proud to cook him dinner almost every night.

But everyone is different. And it works for us because we have the same views on our roles. And we're not stupid either - if we can't afford a nice dinner, we'll do something at home or on the cheap. Not trying to make him go broke to wine and dine me - that's pompous. Anyway, guess it's a balance and this guy is not the one for you. Next time, keep your $50 and offer to tip if that's what you believe in.

ETA: I'd pay for the whole thing before I paid for myself via split checks. Unless I was put off by the guy.

tripitena

Speaking for myself, oh ya. It's a cinche it was he who made the invitation so he should pay. If I invite, I expect to pay.

victoria4321

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

Because your time is that much more important than his?

Yup. most women spend more time turning down dates than actually going on them. Men seem to ask everyone out for some reason. I dont go on a date with every single guy so the ones I do go out with I do expect them to value the time i'm giving them.

Roadie2000

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

Because your time is that much more important than his?

YES

Morgans mom knows best!

Another great reason we shouldn't look to our parents for dating advice. Times are different now, women can vote and everything.

jnhu72

I say each should pay for their own meal, you don't even know if you have a connection yet, so I don't think it's fair to expect him to pay.

Smuterella

He should offer and then we should split the bill.

Roadie2000

No...he pays. You are paying with your time.

Because your time is that much more important than his?

Yup. most women spend more time turning down dates than actually going on them. Men seem to ask everyone out for some reason. I dont go on a date with every single guy so the ones I do go out with I do expect them to value the time i'm giving them.

So in order for us to "value" our time together we have to put a price tag on it?

victoria4321

I say each should pay for their own meal, you don't even know if you have a connection yet, so I don't think it's fair to expect him to pay.

If theres no connection yet, why would you even go? Thats why you talk on the phone a bit first and get to know someone. You'll get some sort of connection through conversation.

cydonian

Depends on who asked who out. I'm certainly not going to ask a guy to a $75 per meal restaurant and then make him pay. However, if he invites me to said expensive restaurant, the same goes. The person who set up the plans pays. I even do that with my friends if I invite them to get mexican. I pay, because I invited them.