Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

Falling2Grace

You will do fine. My situation is a little different since i dont have to worry about college anymore. But my husband and i managed it! We are now 24. but we had our first baby at 21 (miscarried that one though). Had our second baby (a boy!) at 22 and at 23 we had another boy. Some of the best moms i know are "young" like us! I love it and i wouldn't change it for the world!
And people can bash all they want, and im not generally a vein person, but i think i do a damn good job at rising my two boys, which by the way are only 17 months apart! You already sound like you are going to be such a great mom! Dont let others ruin this special time in your life, even if it happened a bit differently than you envisioned.
If you want another young mom MFP friend, feel free to add me!

Sabresgal63

Hello sweetie..............I am 48 years old and had my first child when I turned 16 and another when I turned 18. My boys are 29 and 32, healthy and happy men. It's hard to raise children at any age, so don't let people talk down to you...........I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe that our lives are already mapped out..........you are supposed to be a mom and kudo's to you for not aborting the baby:bigsmile: That seems to be the biggest form of birth control out there now a days..............very disturbing! Your life and your baby's life will be just fine as long as you have lots of love and hugs

angiemartin78

I was 24 when my daughter was born and we're fine! She is almost 9 and is one of the sweetest and most loving children out there. Did we struggle at times, of course we did, but we pulled through!

I'm not going to tell you that it's going to be easy...Being a mom, while it's the most fulfilling thing you could EVER do, it is also one of the most difficult things. Since kids don't come with instruction manuals, it's going to be a learning process for both you and your baby.

I'm sure your mother will come around. How can she not? Her baby is going to be a mommy soon! The first time she sees that beautiful grandbaby of hers she will melt and be forever wrapped around the childs little finger. Just give her some time to get over the initial shock of you being pregnant.

Good luck to you honey! You WILL be fine!

maddmaddie

I'm 22 and I don't have any kids BUT there are many benefits of having kids earlier in life.

1. When you're 50-60 yrs old your kids will be grown and out of the house.

2. You will be able to see more of your child's life, and perhaps have more time with future grandchildren.

3. You will have more energy at this age to be able to keep up with the kid.


Sooooo glad your boyfriend is supportive, hopefully he can help out financially while you go to school since you're having a hard time finding work. Getting certified in something is a great idea!!! I went to school and got my Certified Nurse's Aid certificate ( took 4 months) and there are a TON of jobs for C.N.A.'s. ($15 hr in Alaska). Good choice going into the medical field, you'll find a job in no time as soon as you get certified. As long as you have a good supportive network, you could even continue with school and get a degree. In fact, I know a few young moms whose going for a masters in nursing while raising a child. They do it with family support. I think in time your family will see you have everything together and having a child is not going to ruin your life. Nothing is impossilbe. :-) Also by continuing with school you will be setting a great example for your kid.


I work with kids and discovered "SuperNanny" is AMAZING. Her technique on making things go smoothly in the household works! I would go buy her book or checkout her website if you ever have questions about your kid. (Supernanny has a masters in child psychology).

Good luck! And Congratulations.

ttaylor68913

I was barely 21 when i had my son.. (he is 4.5) it is hard (but I was alone.... 2 hrs from my family and my boyfriend at the time didnt give a crap and was pretty much useless) but you will be fine. My cousin got married at 19 had her first child a month before her 21st birthday and is pregnant with her second.

Stay strong, your family will probably come around

ksparky911

Two of my best friends are 24 and have 2 children now! Heck, my stepsister is 21, I think, and has 2 children! Life is a struggle making ends meet, but if your boyfriend is willing to help you, and to support his child, then I'm sure you can make it until you can find a job!

And while most people don't want to, there IS assistance out there for mothers. I don't know where you live, but here in my state we have WIC - Women, Infants and Children - it will help you buy food while you're pregnant and/or breastfeeding, or formula and later on food for your child until the child is 5, I believe!

You can do it! Just don't give up, and I'm sure once your parents are over the shock, they will come around!

weefanny81

My mum was 16 when she fell pregnant with me, she married my dad in the October when she was 17 and had me the following March (still 17). 3 years later they gave me a little brother to play with and another year later along came another. We had a great childhood although I know they struggled financially. My mum would be making sure we were always playing and not sitting around watching tv, she would also take us on days out to museums, parks etc, dad wasn't there too much as he had to work long hours. I am now 31 and my mum is 48, my mum is my best friend and we are very close. My parents are still happily married even though both families said it would never work.
Please don't feel bad about falling pregnant, you are not too young and I'm sure you will be a great mother.
Best of luck xx

gmoneycole

I'm disappointed in your family. Sadly they are abandoning you when you need them the most. You will need them to support you through this difficult time so see if you can get them on board to support you. Obviously your situation isn't the best, but we are always being thrown difficult situations in life and need to get through them. I have four children and they are the greatest things in my life. Be strong! I wish you the best.

robinogue

Don't let anyone bash you! I was 16 when I became pregnant, 17 when I had my son. Hard, heck yes but I did it! I'm now 42 and he's 25, he's the best thing I did in my life and I don't regret one minute! Good luck to you, have a healthy baby...

Por2gueseMama

Hi I am so sorry about how you are being treated. I was 19 years old when i found out i was having a baby. I was in such denial because when i found out i was pregnant I was about to leave my sons dad due to our relationship issues we were fighting a lot and we had only been together for 4 months. We werent stable in uor lives, we were living with his mom, i was the only one working making 11.50 an hour 32 hrs a week job, he was on unemployment, struggling to find a job and he had a real bad drug and alcohol habbit. His family was very supportive and happy for me, my friends and co workers thought i was crazy, my dad was so angry with me he yelled at me for 30 mins and would barely talk to me after that. My sister was angry saying i was going no where with life and that i shoudl have waited. But after a while people came around my dad started to call me more often to check up on me, my sister was getting more an dmore excited about being an aunt. And I learned to except the fact that i was having a kid and that it was my responsibility to deal with the consequences of my actions. my relationship with my sons dad didnt get any better it got much much worse. he got a job but his attitude and behavior got worse and worse with time. I felt helpless but had to stick it out for my sons sake. Now I am 21 my son is 18 months old and I am a single mother. my son hasnt even seen his dad since july of last year. Ive been living with my parents and am almost done with school for medical assisting. Things are looking up. My son is a healthy happy little boy and very outgoing. Being a mom is the greatest gift i have ever gotten ive become more mature and responsible i have a leveled head on my shoulders and i have a bright future. You have a supportive boy friend I didnt and eveything turned out fine. You will be great. As for your family they will come around once they see that bundle of joy of yours they will want to be more involved in your life! Good Luck
-Angela

mom_o_saur

I was 22 when I had twins!! They are now 10 and I couldn't be prouder of them. One of them even has special needs, but he is doing great. I have been unemployed and gone back to school while having two kids. My mother is very supportive, but their dad is not involved in their life at all (and for us it's better that way). I am going to be starting my master's this fall. I will be working part time while I go to school and raise my two boys. You can be a great mother who reaches her goals if you choose to be. Don't let anyone stand in your way. "Accidents" happen, but sometimes they are the greatest thing that ever happened to your life. I don't think I would even be alive today if I hadn't had my boys. They gave me a reality check and made me realize that life is worth living. Be strong. You can do what ever you want!!! Good luck!!!

Dmarieforcier

I was pregnant at 17 and had my daughter at 18. I was with her father until I was 23 and then left the relationship. I did just fine on my own. My daughter now is 19. She had my 1st grandson at 17, and now #2 is due in July. She is a great mother. Her husband is in the Air Force. They are making it on their own just fine. You to can make it if you have the right mind set! Your family will come around eventually, dont bug them or beg them. They soon will realize what they have lost or what is missing and see what a wonderful person you have become and realize what they are missing out on! Good luck to you!

LosingJenn

I got married at 19. Had my first child at 23 and had twins at 25. I am now 32 and have 3 healthy, happy kids age 10 and soon to be 8. My kids were not planned and I dropped out of school and did not work. We were poor because my husband was still in school and his job did not pay very well, but we made it through the tough times and now my husband has finished grad school, has a job as a professor, and I went back to school in 2006, finished my Bachelors degree in 2010 and am about to finish a Masters degree. It is doable. it is not easy, but it can be done.

It is hard without family supporting you, but they will come around, if not, then find a group of friends, other young moms, or someone who will support you and help you out because a support system is essential.

Browny43

I had my first son when I was 18. Do I now think I should have waited a little longer? Of course but there isn't any chaning in that. I do not regret any of my decisions. Being a mother is a wonderful experience. So many emotions. Hang in there you'll be great

crimznrose

I had my oldest when I was 19. I dropped out of pre-med and his biological father left me when I was four months along to get engaged to his exgirlfriend who had a kid by another guy. At 19 and pregnant, I managed to work at Papa Johns until pre-term labor put me in bed through the last trimester. I had my 2nd child at 21, a year after I got married to a wonderful man who adopted my first child as his own son.
It's not the end of the world and if you are definitely not ready for motherhood, there are actually loving families out there who are waiting for the right person to come along who would consider adoption. My husband and I had a surprise preganancy a year ago, when he was laid off from his job. After 4 months and no signs of work, we made the tough decision to choose adoption for baby #3 and found an amazing family. The father is an ER doctor, mom is a stay-at-home former chld therapist and they had a 4 yr old boy they had adopted from birth previously. It was everything I wanted to give my daughter but couldn't. The adoptive mom had tried several times to have children and gave up after losing one late in the 2nd trimester. What I was able to give them meant the world to them and gave my daughter the life I could not give her. I keep in contact with the adoptive parents and share our lives, pictures and videos often.

DebbieMc3

I will reply to this as someone, until very recently, thought you shouldn't even get married until you are 30.....

Do I think 23 is too young to have a baby? Simple answer is no. Best answer is..... it depends on the 23 year old in question.
I know nothing about you but am guessing that you are too young to have a baby. You called yourself "very young"

There is always more to the story then meets the eye. Does your family like your boyfriend? How long have you been together? Are you going to be together forever? Can his salary take care of you and a baby? Does he have any other children?.........

If you plan on a big family, you kind of need to start in your 20s. You never know how long it would take to get pregnant.
I, by choice, didn't get married until I was 34. I had my son at 36 years old and sadly lost my daughter when I was 39 years old.
I now only have one child because I waited too long to start.
With that being said, I would not be the mom I am today if I had kids in my 20s.

Your family will get over it but just think, there are other options besides abortion.

Good luck to you!
Debbie

jlange80

I was 19 and going to college when I got pregnant with my first child. I was not married at the time, however, my boyfriend (who later became my husband of now 12 years) was very supportive and we too did not believe abortion was an option. I had about eight months of school left and with about a month of school left was diagnosed with Preeclampsia and put on mostly bed rest with the ability to attend school, no work allowed. Graduated at the end of May and had our healthy daughter on June 29th. As crazy as it all felt at the time, I look back now and think "I'd do it again." Stay strong! No one can steal your dreams....only you can give them up!

ef8275

I found out I was pregnant at 18. I had plans for college and was devastated. I also don't believe in abortion and worked 2 jobs to pay the rent and bills. I didn't have any support from my family or the father. I eventually had to get welfare and signed up for college after he was born. It took alot of determination, but I finished school and have a great job now! Just hang in there! There are great programs for single mothers to get help with college and daycare. You should check into that and employers can't ask if your pregnant and cannot discriminate against you for being pregnant. Things will turn out just perfectly for you I'm sure!

duke1158

You can't worry about what other people are saying and doing right now. It may be hurtful and you may be a little lonely, but this will pass. It can only make you stronger as a person. This is all part of the process of becomming a mother.

I recently had my second child and during my pregnancy I was very stressed out because I was unemployed. During my second month, we had to relocate for my husband's job, so I had to give mine up. I was positive that I would be able to find a job right away ( I'm a nurse). I went on interview after interview and was not hired anywhere. I started showing very quickly and I feel that is the reason that I was not hired.

During this whole process, I was extremely stressed out and it caused a lot of problems with my pregnancy. My baby was also born in distess and not breathing. He is fine now, but it was reallly scary. I'm not telling you this to scar you, I just want you to do well for yourself and your baby.

Please do not stress and stay in school. This is the best thing for yourself and your new little family. Getting a job right now may seem like an important thing, but in the end you will be happy that you finished school. You need to minimize your expenses right now and try to scale back on everything. It's important to have health insurance, so if you havent already, try getting it through your state funded program. Baby's don't actually need that much, so even though it's tempting, try not to spend a whole lot on baby stuff. Also, towards the end of your pregnancy your friends will probably help you out with a shower ( everybody loves babies). If you are set on getting a job and really need the money, my advice to you would be to try to get an early morning paper route. With my first pregnancy, I was still in college and I was able to pay my expenses with my paper route.

I'm sorry that I'm going off on a tangeant, but I can truly understand your situation. Please do not worry or stress, everything will be okay. I think once your family sees what a responsible and loving mother you are, they will come around. Everyone just needs a little time to cope with the change in the times. Please friend me if you need someone to talk to and I hope that my advice is useful to you. Good luck with your pregnancy!

12by311

I found out I was pregnant at 18. I had plans for college and was devastated. I also don't believe in abortion and worked 2 jobs to pay the rent and bills. I didn't have any support from my family or the father. I eventually had to get welfare and signed up for college after he was born. It took alot of determination, but I finished school and have a great job now! Just hang in there! There are great programs for single mothers to get help with college and daycare. You should check into that and employers can't ask if your pregnant and cannot discriminate against you for being pregnant. Things will turn out just perfectly for you I'm sure!

This is how government assitance should be used....to help people to get on their feet (instead of relying on it for years and years and years). Good for you and great job for working so hard to better yourself and your life for you and your child!

jenna_scott

Who says you need to wait until you are in your 30's to have a child? If we listened to our bodies in regard to "breeding" we would be having babies at 13. I had my oldest just a couple of months after turning twenty. It was different with her then with my boys (my fist son was born when she was almost 14 and the second when she was almost 16) Being at both end of the spectrum as far as having children earlier/later in life I can say that each are harder/easier in their own ways. Anyone can be a parent; it takes a lot of work to be a good parent. As far as being young and having a child you have the added benefit of more energy, that and my body sure bounced back easier after having her at twenty then my boys in my mid-thirties. IMHO I do not think that 23 years old is too young to have a baby, but that is just me. I think it depends on your maturity level; some people can be great parents young and others not so much. There is no particular magic age that makes you be a great parent; it is all about how prepared emotionally you are to raise a child, because it will charge your entire life. Nothing I mean nothing is the same after having a child. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck to you.

lori310

You will be fine. I had my son when I was 17. He will turn 26 this year and my daughter will be 23. It was tough at times, but my husband and I have NO regrets. I think there are struggles at any age. It depends on how you deal with them that matters. I work in the medical field, and right now, what you are going to school for is an excellent choice. There are many coding jobs where you can work at home. That may help you out later on. Hang in there and God bless!!

Bookchick887

I was 24. The father said he didn't want a child, so I moved out on my own. Stayed w/ my mom for a few months, found a job. Oh so sad to leave my young son at 6 weeks old in baby daycare. I was a single mom for a year. My son is 28 now. I had all kinds of advice about what to do, but I am very very strong because I went through it.
Most important: surround yourself with SUPPORT. Start right now calling for help. Whether you go to school or whatever you do, you will make it. But when the baby comes, you need more strength than one person has alone.
I am thinking that family will come around when baby is here.

smanning1982

You know what, if your mom and family isn't speaking to you it's their loss. If they choose to continue to not speak to you after your baby is born it's their loss. You can do this! Just trying to better yourself by going to school is not a bad or irresponsible thing and just shows you want the best for you and your child!

I met my now husband when I was 14. I was pregnant at 16. I actually got married 2 weeks before my 17th birthday. We did not have great jobs. We moved into a home when my daughter was 1 month old. We made it. I had another child at age 20, my 3rd child at age 24 and my 4th child at age 27.

I am now 29 years old, we have been happily married over 12 years. My kids are 2,4,8 and 12. I own my own cake business and my husband is a very good insurance agent. We just moved from AZ to FL to pursue our dreams and have tons of family stuff to do. We are pretty good financially, my kids have never gone without what the need or pretty much want.

It's not like your knocked up at 15 with no father for the baby to help. You are NOT too young and you CAN do this! Don't let anyone stop you or make you depressed about your choice to have this baby. Having a baby is truly a miracle. I could never imagine my life without my kids!

Kelogik

Don't feel bad for being 23 and pregnant, some times it happens and the important thing is that you are being responsible about it. Personally, I had my child when I was unwed and 20. I'm not going to lie, it was really hard, but I would not change a minute of it (except for her biological father but that's a different story). You can do it, especially if your boyfriend is being supportive. Also, your family and friends will come around, it just might take them a while. My mother, until the day before I gave birth, pleaded with me to give my child up of adoption but I wouldn't. Not 2 months later she came to me crying and telling me how happy she was that I didn't listen to her.

Keep your head up, everything will work out.

Belinda

vlarr87

23 is a awesome age to have a family! I was 18. far from stable. you need to focus on yourself and that baby. not what others think!

jcpmoore

Well, I didn't have my kids until I was in my 30s. That was by choice, though.

My mom had her first child when she was 22. That was my sister. She had me when she was 24. Both of us came out fine and my mom has a great life. All three of us have professional careers.

My MIL had her first child, my husband, when she was 17. He came out fine and she was a good mother. He went to college and she raised two more kids along with him.

Age has absolutely nothing to do with it. I know teen mothers that are great and older mothers that suck. And vice versa. It's about LOVE. Are you willing to put that parenting duty first? If so, then power to you!

Sorry folks are treating you badly-know that you're doing the right thing having the baby and being responsible. *hugs*

scjackson23

Hi First off CONGRATS!! 23 not so young! I am 23 and have 3kids. I have a 5yr old, 3yr old and a 8month old. I was 17 when I got pregnant and I was alone, no boyfriend. I was depressed and had no idea what I was going to do. Thankfully I did have family support and i am very sorry to hear that you don't have that right now. Let see...after giving birth to my beautiful daughter I continued to go to school. I finished High school at the top of my class and got a scolorship to go to college from my school. I did not end up going to college because I meet someone. We fell madly in love and well even on b.c. I got pregnant yet again. So here I was 19 and 2kids. I felt ashamed of myself..not my kids myself.. My husband was in law school and we were both unemployed. Somehow we made it. He just finished law school took the B.A.R exam and we just bought our first house. I have no idea how but that is the awsome thing about being a parent you do what you got to do and God will provide. A little over a year ago I finially enrolled into school but found out yet again I was pregnant. I was continueing with school and doing great but had complications with my pregnancy and I couldn't finish school. I was put on bed rest for most of my pregnancy. 7months after droping out of school I had another beautiful baby girl. Well I did not finish I know I could have if i didn't have everyhting on my plate.
I know so many girls that have had kids as teenagers and have finished college. It is possible. As far as the money and work issue your boyfriend is working which is good and I would say start budgeting.
Having kids is the best thing that has ever happen to me and I was so young. I am not going to say its easy b/c its not it is hard..emotionally..finacially but your old enough to handle the responsibility it takes if thats what you want.
I wish you the best of luck and don't give up on your dreams. If you want message me/add me.

HeatherHoskins

Congrats on the baby to come. I think your parents are having a hard time with it due to their ideas of what they thought your life was going to be. It will be hard and stressfull having a baby before you are done with school but it can be done. You getting thru school and getting a better job is the best thing you can do for your child's life. Your parents will come around once it gets closer for the baby to come, they are grieving the life that they wanted for you. I know you are worried about not having a job but good mothers do what they have to when push comes to shove. You will figure it out just like every other new mother out there. I was 30 when I had my first child and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. It will all come together. Make sure you and your boyfriend talk about everything, the first year of a baby's life is the most stressfull on the parents. If you two can get thru that, you can get thru anything. Good luck and enjoy the journey!!

ShaunnaM

So I recently just found out that I am pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, and I am for sure willing to own up to my responsiblity. My boyfriend is very supportive as well, although the thing is.. I recently just left my job to go back to school, it is hard finding another job these days otherwise I would've saved money if I knew I'd get pregnant I know no matter what I will strive to be the best mom I can be, I may be very "young" to alot of people, but I would love to hear any stories from young mothers who are holding up strong with their child today, and who HAS MADE IT if there was a struggle along with being pregnant at a "young" age. My mother & family aren't speaking to me as of this day and think I am so stupid and crazy for having a child. Please.. I need the support....


I'm worried about being unemployed.. my bf is working, I am going to a ROP program for school which is about a 6-8 month program for medical assisting / billing & coding, I cannot afford going to another school right now.. I hope I can make it, I know it will be a struggle but I also know it'll be worth it.

I had my 1st kid at age 21. i got pregnant with him at 19. i was married to his bio dad. i left him for cheating and other things. no job, no money, high school was my only education and i didn't graduate. my dad came and got me and my stuff from another state and brought me home. (me an my dad were NOT close so i was touched) i found a job working at krogers the pay sucked but it was a job, i had to walk to work. i did that until i was told to rest due to preterm contractions. so, i got my GED, the night i took the test, was laying in bed, had to pee got up, water broke ! he is the light of my life. for 5 yrs i was a single mom, working 2 jobs at a time sometimes, but i was doing it on my own on my terms. i didn't move in the 1st guy who came along, i had my (protected) fun with them, no contact with my kid, and 1 day, i ran into an old childhood friend(,and ex boyfriend ) we've been together ever since, he adopted my son we have a daughter now also, a wonderful man , husband, father. we rarely argue, we are each others best friends. i've had a lot of ups and downs with my mom, went a year without speaking to each other, i was dying in hospital for almost 3 months i saw her a total of 5 times, but thats another story ! you can do it it will be hard but it is so worth it, makes you stronger good luck hope this helped