Home school vs public school?

KimmyEB

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

Exactly.

Also, no one was saying that every single public school teacher on the planet is horrible, doesn't do their job well, etc. Just because someone disagrees with the system, doesn't mean they disagree with everyone a part of it. I hate McDonald's, but I don't hate every single McDonald's employee on the planet.

countrymom1

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

Exactly.

Also, no one was saying that every single public school teacher on the planet is horrible, doesn't do their job well, etc. Just because someone disagrees with the system, doesn't mean they disagree with everyone a part of it. I hate McDonald's, but I don't hate every single McDonald's employee on the planet.

^^This.^^ I have some friends that teach in the public school system and I know they engage their students and don't just sit there reading a textbook. I also have a friend that put her children back in public school for a couple of years and was very pleased with what they were doing. She volunteered all the time, so that she was actively participating in their education. Again, going back to my very first comment ... parents have to be actively involved, whether it is public, private, or home school. I do feel, though, that oftentimes public school teachers' hands are tied in what material they can present, how they present it, etc. For example, the debate over creation vs. evolution. One will hardly find a public school classroom where both sides are allowed to be presented. Also, there is SO much pressure to be a Recognized school or Exemplary school, that teaching during the time prior to testing has to be extremely structured and focused. I have a friend who was an elementary school teacher and she said that the standardized testing they had to give their students was a joke and was not truly assessing what had been learned, not just memorized, .... learned.

cowgirlslikeus86

:bigsmile: I was homeschooled. Started first grade when I was 4 and graduated when I was 15. There is nothing socially awkward about me! and I am smart to boot!

CrazyTrackLady

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

countrymom1

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

First of all, "an overly involved helicopter parent" seems strange to me. How can a parent be "overly" involved in their child's education? I took my son out of public school because they were reading a book in class that was full of bad language and taking the Lord's name in vain. I tried to work with the teacher, by getting the book ahead of time, reading it myself, and marking out the language. However, I then found out that she was letting the audio version play while the children followed along in their book, thereby negating my efforts. I just found this whole situation to be ridiculous because had he stepped out into the hall and said one of those words in the hearing of a teacher, principal, aide, whoever, he would have been disciplined. So, it's okay to use that language when reading a book for class, but not at other times. Absurd. I had always thought about home schooling, but when this happened, I started researching it more and liked what I was finding out. So, I took both my children out and we started home schooling.

impyimpyaj

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

You should be proud of your profession! And I do understand your frustration with some parents. But just as you want parents to understand that you are a trained professional and you have a lot of knowledge about education, you also need to realize that parents also want that same respect. And sometimes, if a parent believes that homeschooling is best for her child, it's ok for a professional teacher to step back and respect that decision. Because as a teacher, I'm sure you realize that not all children are alike. Some really do have different needs, and sometimes those needs aren't being met by the school district, not because the teachers are bad, but because sometimes the bureaucracy and the regulations prevent teachers from doing everything they'd like to do. And sometimes a child's anxiety gets in the way of his education, so it might be best for that child to not be in that school environment, at least for a while. And sometimes the parents just really want to take charge of the child's education, and that's ok. The important thing should be what's best for the individual child, without getting bent out of shape because we feel slighted that a parent thinks they know better than the teacher. It doesn't always have to be a pissing contest between teachers and parents. Sometimes it is, and the parents set it up that way. But it doesn't have to be about that. It SHOULD be about the child, always. And if that means homeschooling, that's not a slight on teachers everywhere. It just means that for this child, this family, in this situation, homeschooling makes more sense than public school. Period.

CrazyTrackLady

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

You should be proud of your profession! And I do understand your frustration with some parents. But just as you want parents to understand that you are a trained professional and you have a lot of knowledge about education, you also need to realize that parents also want that same respect. And sometimes, if a parent believes that homeschooling is best for her child, it's ok for a professional teacher to step back and respect that decision. Because as a teacher, I'm sure you realize that not all children are alike. Some really do have different needs, and sometimes those needs aren't being met by the school district, not because the teachers are bad, but because sometimes the bureaucracy and the regulations prevent teachers from doing everything they'd like to do. And sometimes a child's anxiety gets in the way of his education, so it might be best for that child to not be in that school environment, at least for a while. And sometimes the parents just really want to take charge of the child's education, and that's ok. The important thing should be what's best for the individual child, without getting bent out of shape because we feel slighted that a parent thinks they know better than the teacher. It doesn't always have to be a pissing contest between teachers and parents. Sometimes it is, and the parents set it up that way. But it doesn't have to be about that. It SHOULD be about the child, always. And if that means homeschooling, that's not a slight on teachers everywhere. It just means that for this child, this family, in this situation, homeschooling makes more sense than public school. Period.

You are absolutely correct, which is why I get so angry when broad brush generalizations are made about education - be it home school or institutionalized. The CHILD is the focus here, always has been and always will be, in my eyes. Whether it's your child or mine, it is all about what is in THEIR best interest.

CrazyTrackLady

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

First of all, "an overly involved helicopter parent" seems strange to me. How can a parent be "overly" involved in their child's education? I took my son out of public school because they were reading a book in class that was full of bad language and taking the Lord's name in vain. I tried to work with the teacher, by getting the book ahead of time, reading it myself, and marking out the language. However, I then found out that she was letting the audio version play while the children followed along in their book, thereby negating my efforts. I just found this whole situation to be ridiculous because had he stepped out into the hall and said one of those words in the hearing of a teacher, principal, aide, whoever, he would have been disciplined. So, it's okay to use that language when reading a book for class, but not at other times. Absurd. I had always thought about home schooling, but when this happened, I started researching it more and liked what I was finding out. So, I took both my children out and we started home schooling.

I'm not a fan of some of the books being read today in schools, for that very reason. However, how would you feel if your child wanted to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn? Are we talking book banning here, or just a better system of making sure the words in the book are grade level appropriate. (My 7th graders are reading Malcom X, which contains the "n" word. While it is NEVER appropriate to say that word in public, it is appropriate in the context of this book we are reading). I caution my students about the language first, then as we read, if they wish to say the word when they get to it, they are allowed. If they are uncomfortable with it, they substitute it with a word of their own, and we just move on, then always talk about how certain words were commonplace in certain time periods, and that what was okay then isn't acceptable today.

Parents are 'overly involved' in many ways: demand to question a teacher's credentials (had that happen to me this year) call to question me about a grade I gave their child (had that happen to me), yell at teachers for "disrespecting their child" (read: applying appropriate discipline) (had that happen to me this year), demand to come into the classroom to watch a teacher teach (had that happen to another teacher at my school), etc. Parents need to stay OUT of the classroom decisions and let the teachers handle it. I don't go over to my students' houses and demand their parents raise their child better. That's crossing a boundary, and I expect the same time of treatment in return.

countrymom1

"For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades".

Just an FYI - some of us "institutionalized setting" teachers DO THIS VERY THING - we offer engaging, real life lessons that take an existing concept and explore it in great depth and detail, which makes the student come away with a new appreciation and fascination in the topic. We inspire curiosity, and creativity, and problem solving. We constantly allow our students to question, to explore, to gasp! even debate a topic until all possible outcomes are explored -- leaving the students to come to their OWN conclusions. And guess what? I hardly have opened a textbook in any of the subjects I teach ALL YEAR LONG. Or, have I given children worksheets to do instead of actual teaching.

How about some of you stop generalizing and start accepting the fact that SOME of us out there are doing a damn fine job of getting and keeping children engaged and educated, even if they are "sitting in an institutionalized setting" all day?

And if you don't believe me, you're welcome to come talk to the dad of one of my students - the dad who was a Nobel Prize finalist in science, who has come to my classroom to present to the students, a well respected pathologist and veterinarian, who told me: "You're teaching science exactly the way you should be - these kids are given plenty of amazing opportunities to learn!"

And in a SCHOOL setting - imagine that, huh?

BTW, did you read this part of the speech:

"This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is."

She acknowledged a teacher that allowed her to go beyond the text and question it. I think the point that a lot of the home schoolers on here are trying to get at is that it is not the teachers. There are absolutely superb teachers in the public school system. I can remember teachers from my school days that made an impact on my life. Our discontent is with the SYSTEM, not the teachers, the SYSTEM.

countrymom1

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

First of all, "an overly involved helicopter parent" seems strange to me. How can a parent be "overly" involved in their child's education? I took my son out of public school because they were reading a book in class that was full of bad language and taking the Lord's name in vain. I tried to work with the teacher, by getting the book ahead of time, reading it myself, and marking out the language. However, I then found out that she was letting the audio version play while the children followed along in their book, thereby negating my efforts. I just found this whole situation to be ridiculous because had he stepped out into the hall and said one of those words in the hearing of a teacher, principal, aide, whoever, he would have been disciplined. So, it's okay to use that language when reading a book for class, but not at other times. Absurd. I had always thought about home schooling, but when this happened, I started researching it more and liked what I was finding out. So, I took both my children out and we started home schooling.

I'm not a fan of some of the books being read today in schools, for that very reason. However, how would you feel if your child wanted to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn? Are we talking book banning here, or just a better system of making sure the words in the book are grade level appropriate. (My 7th graders are reading Malcom X, which contains the "n" word. While it is NEVER appropriate to say that word in public, it is appropriate in the context of this book we are reading). I caution my students about the language first, then as we read, if they wish to say the word when they get to it, they are allowed. If they are uncomfortable with it, they substitute it with a word of their own, and we just move on, then always talk about how certain words were commonplace in certain time periods, and that what was okay then isn't acceptable today.

It sounds like you are a great teacher. I think that is a great way of handling it. I don't know that it was handled in that way in my son's class. The experience I had with my son's class just piqued my curiosity about home schooling and we decided as a family, kids included, that this was the direction we wanted to go.

impyimpyaj

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

You should be proud of your profession! And I do understand your frustration with some parents. But just as you want parents to understand that you are a trained professional and you have a lot of knowledge about education, you also need to realize that parents also want that same respect. And sometimes, if a parent believes that homeschooling is best for her child, it's ok for a professional teacher to step back and respect that decision. Because as a teacher, I'm sure you realize that not all children are alike. Some really do have different needs, and sometimes those needs aren't being met by the school district, not because the teachers are bad, but because sometimes the bureaucracy and the regulations prevent teachers from doing everything they'd like to do. And sometimes a child's anxiety gets in the way of his education, so it might be best for that child to not be in that school environment, at least for a while. And sometimes the parents just really want to take charge of the child's education, and that's ok. The important thing should be what's best for the individual child, without getting bent out of shape because we feel slighted that a parent thinks they know better than the teacher. It doesn't always have to be a pissing contest between teachers and parents. Sometimes it is, and the parents set it up that way. But it doesn't have to be about that. It SHOULD be about the child, always. And if that means homeschooling, that's not a slight on teachers everywhere. It just means that for this child, this family, in this situation, homeschooling makes more sense than public school. Period.

You are absolutely correct, which is why I get so angry when broad brush generalizations are made about education - be it home school or institutionalized. The CHILD is the focus here, always has been and always will be, in my eyes. Whether it's your child or mine, it is all about what is in THEIR best interest.

Which is exactly why I don't understand the sweeping generalizations of homeschooling and unschooling, namely that homeschooled kids will grow up with no social skills and a one-dimensional education. I think that's just as bad as saying that all public schools are awful. You can't get upset about one stereotype while perpetuating another. I mean, I guess you can, but it doesn't make much sense, IMO.

My public school experience was a poor one. I think I would have been better off homeschooled than to go to that school. THAT school. Not just ANY school. So even though my personal experience was difficult, I'm working toward my teaching certification, and plan to work in a public school. Because I do believe in public schools, when they're working. But they don't always work. My daughter had a HORRIBLE time with social anxiety this year in kindergarten, to the point that she was having a breakdown every day after school. Luckily, she had an awesome teacher and principal who worked with her and helped her overcome it, and now she's thriving in school. But if she'd had a teacher who wasn't willing to work with her, I would have had to take her out of that school, because allowing her to feel that every day with no help would have been damaging. There are SO many awesome teachers out there, and there are so many awesome schools and districts. But not everyone is so blessed to have wonderful teachers and administration helping them out. And even if they do, public schooling is still not right for every child.

CrazyTrackLady

"For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades".

Just an FYI - some of us "institutionalized setting" teachers DO THIS VERY THING - we offer engaging, real life lessons that take an existing concept and explore it in great depth and detail, which makes the student come away with a new appreciation and fascination in the topic. We inspire curiosity, and creativity, and problem solving. We constantly allow our students to question, to explore, to gasp! even debate a topic until all possible outcomes are explored -- leaving the students to come to their OWN conclusions. And guess what? I hardly have opened a textbook in any of the subjects I teach ALL YEAR LONG. Or, have I given children worksheets to do instead of actual teaching.

How about some of you stop generalizing and start accepting the fact that SOME of us out there are doing a damn fine job of getting and keeping children engaged and educated, even if they are "sitting in an institutionalized setting" all day?

And if you don't believe me, you're welcome to come talk to the dad of one of my students - the dad who was a Nobel Prize finalist in science, who has come to my classroom to present to the students, a well respected pathologist and veterinarian, who told me: "You're teaching science exactly the way you should be - these kids are given plenty of amazing opportunities to learn!"

And in a SCHOOL setting - imagine that, huh?

BTW, did you read this part of the speech:

"This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is."

She acknowledged a teacher that allowed her to go beyond the text and question it. I think the point that a lot of the home schoolers on here are trying to get at is that it is not the teachers. There are absolutely superb teachers in the public school system. I can remember teachers from my school days that made an impact on my life. Our discontent is with the SYSTEM, not the teachers, the SYSTEM.

The system is flawed, I agree. And there are far too many horrible teachers out there entrusted to "educate" children. Fortunately for my students, I'm not one of them.

countrymom1

Not talking book-banning by the way, just considering what is age-appropriate and best for my family.

bjhadden

Both have incredible and equal opportunities. BUT to say that an informally trained- in- education parent cannot successfully educate a child is ridiculous. The public school systems continue to fail as children are "conformed" to a standard that doesn't work. Many become lost in paperwork and achieving scores as a school becomes more important than developing the individual child's strengths and weaknesses. Do schools fail? Yes. Do some parents do a cruddy job homeschooling? Yes. While there are VAST opportunities given in public schools , even an under educated parent can successfully teach their children with the huge amount of resources available. There are many methods to homeschooling such as text book and workbook approaches, unit studies, Charlotte Mason approach, and some excellent online schools(in which the parent simply has to ensure the child does his/her study time). For that matter , many public schools now offer "homeschooling" online. If your sister struggles with anxiety..homeschooling may be the right thing. She can be introduced into small groups of homeschoolers slowly to see if the anxiety continues. If she "grows out of it"..there is nothing preventing her from returning to public school.

This.

Marla64

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

You should be proud of your profession! And I do understand your frustration with some parents. But just as you want parents to understand that you are a trained professional and you have a lot of knowledge about education, you also need to realize that parents also want that same respect. And sometimes, if a parent believes that homeschooling is best for her child, it's ok for a professional teacher to step back and respect that decision. Because as a teacher, I'm sure you realize that not all children are alike. Some really do have different needs, and sometimes those needs aren't being met by the school district, not because the teachers are bad, but because sometimes the bureaucracy and the regulations prevent teachers from doing everything they'd like to do. And sometimes a child's anxiety gets in the way of his education, so it might be best for that child to not be in that school environment, at least for a while. And sometimes the parents just really want to take charge of the child's education, and that's ok. The important thing should be what's best for the individual child, without getting bent out of shape because we feel slighted that a parent thinks they know better than the teacher. It doesn't always have to be a pissing contest between teachers and parents. Sometimes it is, and the parents set it up that way. But it doesn't have to be about that. It SHOULD be about the child, always. And if that means homeschooling, that's not a slight on teachers everywhere. It just means that for this child, this family, in this situation, homeschooling makes more sense than public school. Period.

You are absolutely correct, which is why I get so angry when broad brush generalizations are made about education - be it home school or institutionalized. The CHILD is the focus here, always has been and always will be, in my eyes. Whether it's your child or mine, it is all about what is in THEIR best interest.

I'm sorry, but I have to jump in here-- weren't you the artist holding the broad brush not too many pages back, generalizing about how impossible it will be for the children of homeschoolers to get in to college. Weren't you the one painting with the broad brush, telling us to be prepared to care for them because they wouldn't be able to get a job?

I sure thought that was you. And now here you sit whining that you feel somebody is painting educators with a negative broad brush? :noway: Wow.

To the mom above who mentioned the reading list.....I homeschool the younger kids, and send the older ones to public high school. I'm very involved in their English department.-- they know me quite well-- better than they'd like, I'm sure.

The books they put on their summer reading list, "to instill a love of reading in your children," are modern day, psycho-babble crap full of foul language. I've never let my kids read them, and have forbidden them to read certain assignments handed them by the teacher for the same reason.

I've told the teachers (who, I know, are getting the material from the Board of Ed-- don't worry, not painting here...just sayin') that they can either give my children a decent book to read, or flunk them from the project. I really didn't care, but my kid wasn't gonna read that crap.

This year, for the first time, one teacher got a chip on her shoulder and flunked him. Go for it-- flunk away, lady. But, my son will not be reading your crap. Period.

mkallie

I was homeschooled, in private school, and in public school. I don't think there's anything wrong with homeschool (actually, if you're smart you can finish it a lot faster), but I wonder whether this might exacerbate her underlying problem. People aren't going to go away because she stays away from them. Sooner or later she will need to learn to interact with them. That being said, schoolmates can be mean and catty and maybe having to deal with them isn't the best situation. I would say that homeschool without adequate socialization makes the socialization worse when you finally have to do it (i.e., in college). But like others have suggested, if there is a homeschool network or some kind of organized activity that she can be a part of it might be good/beneficial for her to focus on her studies and not have to deal with bullying from other kids.

erinkeely4

I was homeschooled, along with my two sisters! It was amazing for me, and I loved it.

As long as she participates in some social activities I wouldn't worry about a lack of socialization or ability to work in groups. I was in ballet, gymnastics, martial arts, orchestra and other activities at various times and I always socialized well.

Homeschooling doesn't make you socially awkward -- the reason so many people associate social awkwardness with homeschooling is because a lot of parents homeschool their kids BECAUSE they can't handle the social experience in school... but that's a whole other thing. I think the social experience in school is horrible for most people, and not worth participating in unless you enjoy it.

SCVSarah

I don't have any personal experience with home school, but I know a few people who were home schooled that are completely well adjusted. I wanted to comment on this thread because my sister went to public HS and was extremely shy and somewhat socially awkward. Unfortunately, this meant that she got bullied to the point of suicide attempts and other major ongoing issues. I think it is important to be socialized; however this can be done in other ways (clubs, etc). I wish my sister had other options rather than public school because I think it may have helped her adapt to life in a positive way.

Ssicaaa

I was in public school up until my Junior year. I am very, very shy, closed in and socially awkward. After I got into homeschooling, my social anxieties increased, and symptoms of depression have surfaced. The lack of human interaction is not good for someone like your sister. Homeschooling would be good for her if she regularly keeps in touch with friends outside of school.

Femmekid

My boyfriend was home schooled and he is very shy, has social anxiety, and is socially awkward. I don't think I'd ever want to raise my kids in home school. I went to public school.

vicki81868

I don't think it would terribly difficult to find socially awkward kids in a public school. In fact there are a couple on my street and several more in my church. Why is there never a statement that we should end public school because there are socially awkward people there?

xHelloQuincyx

this of course may never happen to your sister, just wanna share a story of someone close to me. they allowed their daughter to do homeschool because of similar reasons, and she had an eating disorder. staying home made things 100x worse. she dosnt leave her room, no longer attends social events, and then deleted her facebook (only contact toward outside world and past friends). if she would have recieved proper help i believe her conditions would have improved. its now 3 years later and she has been keeping her weight at 86 lbs, which is just a few lbs high enough that she cant be placed in inpatient by her parents. she always gets out of doing any sort of homeschooling, so she has the mindset of an 8 year old in a 16 year olds body... scratch that she looks like an 8 year old too. these severed ties will not have a chance to be mended, nor does she know how to. her sister was my best friend since we were about 5 years old, i always ended up protecting her. she was so shy she cried during all of her speeches in speech class... but she made it through.

around the age of 8 my sister refused to talk to anyone exept me. she wouldnt order her own food, she wouldnt talk to the lifegaurd at the pool etc. this lasted for a long time. the tried to put her on druges etc. nothing worked. shes heading off to college next year and has turned into the most amazing girl ever. so open to everything and anyone. believe it or not, its because she found god. she thrived in church etc. that gave her the 'crutch' she needed to become who she is today. without a push she could have easily been confined to the house working with mom everyday and not talking to anyone.

i was a very awkward girl, fat, geeky and poor. always in hand me down boys clothing. didnt have many friends etc. going into highschool i realized i can control this, i wouldnt put up with it any more. i made friends with those who had simmilar intrests, almost had to force myself to talk to them. but it paid off. anyone who tried to bully me, i just laughed in their face. the cockyness/ no one can hurt me skin was all that had to show to make me feel that way on the inside. i figured this out on my own. no one is gonna hold your hand along the way in adulthood, you have to force yourself to adjust. everyone stoped messing with me, and i was still fine with not being 'popular'. at least i had a few friends i actully liked. even got a boyfriend, tho i was to shy to talk to him or be alone with him for a bout a year. my confidence eventully increased and i just decided i dont wanna be this shy girl sitting in the corner anymore. on the other hand i did online school my last year of highschool due to horrible drama that was going on at my school. one of the best desisions i ever made. read back, I MADE. i didnt read anything about if your sister wanted to do this or not. i am glad that i got to experience some of the hs reality though, or i would have always wondered what it would have been like if i would have went.

i did IQ academy by the way. could webcam with teachers/ see classes or just talk on a mic. the educational value was awesome (not like i cared as a senior though haha.) got a free lap top to use and free books. had to do charity work, prep for college etc. all for free. it was great. and i would say the teachers cared MORE for me then at my public school. the quality of learning and assignments were much better then public too. however a lot of my public school credits didnt transfer to IQ so i had to retake a few classes. i would also make sure what ever college your sister wants to attend will consider the homeschool/ cyber school a valid hs. (mine was accredited ect)

first day of college i was nerve wrecked. yet forced myself to walk up to a girl i saw in my first class and ask if i could eat lunch by her. i remember being out of breath and couldnt even look her in the eyes. now we talk just like good friends. i could have just sat there by myself, but i knew i didnt want that. i didnt wanna be that person

farm_mamaX9

My boyfriend was home schooled and he is very shy, has social anxiety, and is socially awkward. I don't think I'd ever want to raise my kids in home school. I went to public school.

My husband was public schooled and he is very shy, has social anxiety and is socially awkward. I don't think I'll ever raise my children in public school. I, too, went to public school.

Could it be that there just happens to be shy, socially awkward, anxious people in all facets of life? That home schooling nor public schooling is the cause? Pretty sure that answer is YES!

kstrunk1

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

As a fellow educator, I 100% agree.

Marla64

I don't think it would terribly difficult to find socially awkward kids in a public school. In fact there are a couple on my street and several more in my church. Why is there never a statement that we should end public school because there are socially awkward people there?

LIKE!

Marla64

My boyfriend was home schooled and he is very shy, has social anxiety, and is socially awkward. I don't think I'd ever want to raise my kids in home school. I went to public school.

My husband was public schooled and he is very shy, has social anxiety and is socially awkward. I don't think I'll ever raise my children in public school. I, too, went to public school.

Could it be that there just happens to be shy, socially awkward, anxious people in all facets of life? That home schooling nor public schooling is the cause? Pretty sure that answer is YES!

LIKE!!

KimmyEB

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

You should be proud of your profession! And I do understand your frustration with some parents. But just as you want parents to understand that you are a trained professional and you have a lot of knowledge about education, you also need to realize that parents also want that same respect. And sometimes, if a parent believes that homeschooling is best for her child, it's ok for a professional teacher to step back and respect that decision. Because as a teacher, I'm sure you realize that not all children are alike. Some really do have different needs, and sometimes those needs aren't being met by the school district, not because the teachers are bad, but because sometimes the bureaucracy and the regulations prevent teachers from doing everything they'd like to do. And sometimes a child's anxiety gets in the way of his education, so it might be best for that child to not be in that school environment, at least for a while. And sometimes the parents just really want to take charge of the child's education, and that's ok. The important thing should be what's best for the individual child, without getting bent out of shape because we feel slighted that a parent thinks they know better than the teacher. It doesn't always have to be a pissing contest between teachers and parents. Sometimes it is, and the parents set it up that way. But it doesn't have to be about that. It SHOULD be about the child, always. And if that means homeschooling, that's not a slight on teachers everywhere. It just means that for this child, this family, in this situation, homeschooling makes more sense than public school. Period.

You are absolutely correct, which is why I get so angry when broad brush generalizations are made about education - be it home school or institutionalized. The CHILD is the focus here, always has been and always will be, in my eyes. Whether it's your child or mine, it is all about what is in THEIR best interest.

I'm sorry, but I have to jump in here-- weren't you the artist holding the broad brush not too many pages back, generalizing about how impossible it will be for the children of homeschoolers to get in to college. Weren't you the one painting with the broad brush, telling us to be prepared to care for them because they wouldn't be able to get a job?

I sure thought that was you. And now here you sit whining that you feel somebody is painting educators with a negative broad brush? :noway: Wow.

To the mom above who mentioned the reading list.....I homeschool the younger kids, and send the older ones to public high school. I'm very involved in their English department.-- they know me quite well-- better than they'd like, I'm sure.

The books they put on their summer reading list, "to instill a love of reading in your children," are modern day, psycho-babble crap full of foul language. I've never let my kids read them, and have forbidden them to read certain assignments handed them by the teacher for the same reason.

I've told the teachers (who, I know, are getting the material from the Board of Ed-- don't worry, not painting here...just sayin') that they can either give my children a decent book to read, or flunk them from the project. I really didn't care, but my kid wasn't gonna read that crap.

This year, for the first time, one teacher got a chip on her shoulder and flunked him. Go for it-- flunk away, lady. But, my son will not be reading your crap. Period.

I'm 100% curious--what books did you find to be "crap?" I honestly never found any of the books I read in middle and high school to be challenging enough...and since I was reading Stephen King and Terry Goodkind before I was a teenager, I can't say that anything in "Of Mice and Men" or "Lord of the Flies" was really at all shocking.

Marla64

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

As a fellow educator, I 100% agree.

What a shock.

As a fellow educator, I disagree.

However, I'm a home educator, so that obviously doesn't count.

Marla64

I do'nt think anybody said that formal schooling was horrible. Just that homeschooling is also a valid option.

I disagree - many people on here have said that formal school was "horrible, and the worst experience of my life", painting a broad brush of discontent all over this thread. It gives the impression that there are NO good teachers out there, teachers hate kids, don't deal with bullies, want to snoop into childrens' lives, etc.

I'm just here to put in a good word for the profession. I am very proud to be a teacher, and I hold my head up high every day, despite overly involved helicopter parents who demand their children be placed on some undeserving pedestal, demand lessons that are "fun and engaging" every day, demand we discipline them (or don't discipline them as harshly because little Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was asked to do chores -- the HORROR!) because "they won't listen to me", expect us to make ZERO mistakes, complain to the principal at the drop of a hat, etc. etc. etc.

And when said parents don't get their demands met, they blame the teachers for not doing their jobs and yank them out of school because "only I know what's good for my child". Of course those of us who have trained for years to learn all sorts of valuable information about the raising and educating of children (many of us parents ourselves) KNOW NOTHING.

You should be proud of your profession! And I do understand your frustration with some parents. But just as you want parents to understand that you are a trained professional and you have a lot of knowledge about education, you also need to realize that parents also want that same respect. And sometimes, if a parent believes that homeschooling is best for her child, it's ok for a professional teacher to step back and respect that decision. Because as a teacher, I'm sure you realize that not all children are alike. Some really do have different needs, and sometimes those needs aren't being met by the school district, not because the teachers are bad, but because sometimes the bureaucracy and the regulations prevent teachers from doing everything they'd like to do. And sometimes a child's anxiety gets in the way of his education, so it might be best for that child to not be in that school environment, at least for a while. And sometimes the parents just really want to take charge of the child's education, and that's ok. The important thing should be what's best for the individual child, without getting bent out of shape because we feel slighted that a parent thinks they know better than the teacher. It doesn't always have to be a pissing contest between teachers and parents. Sometimes it is, and the parents set it up that way. But it doesn't have to be about that. It SHOULD be about the child, always. And if that means homeschooling, that's not a slight on teachers everywhere. It just means that for this child, this family, in this situation, homeschooling makes more sense than public school. Period.

You are absolutely correct, which is why I get so angry when broad brush generalizations are made about education - be it home school or institutionalized. The CHILD is the focus here, always has been and always will be, in my eyes. Whether it's your child or mine, it is all about what is in THEIR best interest.

I'm sorry, but I have to jump in here-- weren't you the artist holding the broad brush not too many pages back, generalizing about how impossible it will be for the children of homeschoolers to get in to college. Weren't you the one painting with the broad brush, telling us to be prepared to care for them because they wouldn't be able to get a job?

I sure thought that was you. And now here you sit whining that you feel somebody is painting educators with a negative broad brush? :noway: Wow.

To the mom above who mentioned the reading list.....I homeschool the younger kids, and send the older ones to public high school. I'm very involved in their English department.-- they know me quite well-- better than they'd like, I'm sure.

The books they put on their summer reading list, "to instill a love of reading in your children," are modern day, psycho-babble crap full of foul language. I've never let my kids read them, and have forbidden them to read certain assignments handed them by the teacher for the same reason.

I've told the teachers (who, I know, are getting the material from the Board of Ed-- don't worry, not painting here...just sayin') that they can either give my children a decent book to read, or flunk them from the project. I really didn't care, but my kid wasn't gonna read that crap.

This year, for the first time, one teacher got a chip on her shoulder and flunked him. Go for it-- flunk away, lady. But, my son will not be reading your crap. Period.

I'm 100% curious--what books did you find to be "crap?" I honestly never found any of the books I read in middle and high school to be challenging enough...and since I was reading Stephen King and Terry Goodkind before I was a teenager, I can't say that anything in "Of Mice and Men" or "Lord of the Flies" was really at all shocking.

Fat Kid Rules The World-- a classic....puh.

What I saw and how I Lied-- another classic -- just to name two.

You know, I'd have killed for Of Mice and Men or Lord of the Flies on their summer reading list. The only list of "good, classics" is found on the AP lists, for 12th grade AP students only. Since 2005, however, when my eldest entered the high school, I forbade them from reading except from the classics. Every year since then, their English teacher accepted the book project and gave them a grade.

This year, my 9th grade student turned in a project on Little Women, on the 12th grade AP list and got a grade. My 11th grade son turned in a project from the 12th grade list, and the teacher flunked him. I appealed to the head of the English department who upheld her decision.

"No student may read out of their grade level." Um, okay, but you're penalizing the pursuit of excellence. How can you in good faith, as an "educator" discourage students to go above and beyond the call of duty??? It fell on deaf ears.

He was given an opportunity, however, to read another book and turn in another project, and we had him removed from the shrew's class. I'll continue to have my kids read classics and turn in projects. Flunk them at will, ladies and gentlemen-- I really don't care. You're not going to peddle your crap to this lady's kids.

KimmyEB

Fat Kid Rules The World-- a classic....puh.

What I saw and how I Lied-- another classic -- just to name two.

Just read synopsis' of those books...I don't understand what's wrong with them? Did you read them yourself? Is it because they aren't literary classics? (I see they're both pretty "new" books) Like I said...they're your kids, obviously you can teach them what they want...I'm just trying to understand the mindset of banning those books from their minds, for lack of better terminology.