Marriage Advice
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Marriage is not a 50-50 partnership. It is a 100-100 commitment. Give your all all of the time. When your spouse is slacking they need your love more than ever to get them back on the right track. Never lose the tenderness or the passion. Keep a date night. Compromise- ALWAYS. Allow cool down time (don't get mad when your partner walks away. Some people need to take a corner and then come back with a more level headed view. This is different than "running away" from the situation at hand). Last but not least, say I love you A LOT.0
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Something that helped us is learning how the other person "fights." I become silent or very concise with my words. At some point I need to walk away. My husband is a talk talk talker and when I would walk away he would follow. This made it worse for each of us. One day while in great moods we discussed (not planned) our differences in this.
He had eventually learned I needed to have space to discover the true reason I'm really upset. I learned that his anger isn't funny and not to push his buttons to see how much more enraged he could become.
Also, Respect Each Other. Date Each Other.
we are going on year 15
Even our son knows his Dad and I have to have date nights. 0 -
Talk about everything and anything - don't go too long without talking to each other. Talk about what is troubling you as well as what makes you happy. *NEVER* go to bed on an argument, and don't drag others into your troubles. Accept that there will be bad times as well as good - if you can't deal with bad times, then don't do it. Oh, and sex is not the be-all and end-all of marriage - communication is! (Married 12 years to my wonderful man).0
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It's not like in the movies, you will eventually want to run him over with your car. Then he'll forget your birthday and say "You aren't the type of girl that should wear leggings" or some other insensitive comment. Wait, is Kort a guy? Sounds like it, either way feelings will be hurt, you'll wish you hadn't gotten married some days and you will really come to despise some of the weird "quirks" about your partner.
But, if you can get over these things and be patient, you'll find that that person you married is probably not that bad and you're just as difficult to deal with.0 -
Quote: Remember marriage is not a contest—never keep a score. The two of you together are on the same team to win.
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/136313/worlds_longest_married_couple_has
and IF you feel the NEED to *compete* try OUTSERVING each other....
you mowed the lawn? Oh yeah, watch this, I'll do the dishes before YOU get to them....
(yes I'm serious.....it works for us......married 31 yrs)0 -
Well let ME give her some advice since I'm an expert in the sense that I was engaged after only 8 months and married 8 months after that and separated 22 months after that and divorced 26 months after that....... (please note the sarcasm in this sentance)
Ahem....be 100% sure you want to marry this person before you do it. If you have even an INKLING that it's not what you want or that it won't work, don't do it, or at least wait a little longer. If you ARE 100% sure, then CONGRATULATIONS!! Hope you two have a very happy live together!
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Respect, Communication, Consideration, and Understanding that you don't come together to come together as one but 2 individuals who are wanting to share and become partners in everything life has to offer will get you a long long way...
Also, his happiness does not rely on you and your happiness does not rely on him but sharing your own happiness without reserve will enhance his and him sharing his without reserve will enhance yours...
Best to you!!!0 -
***TALK*** to each other. About *everything*; all of your thoughts, be they: happy, worried, fearful, delighted, jealous, money, or dreams.0
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Check his texts daily.0
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Don't be afraid to communicate (and even compromise) about things like money. I also suggest having a joint account (at least for the bills that you each put a percentage in).0
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Be honest and open, also lots of sex :drinker:0
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These replies are far too serious, people.
Please, more trolling.
^^My thoughts put into words :laugh:0 -
So many bad things are said about marriage, but there are good ones - I have a great marriage.
It will be difficult at first(at least mine was!), stick it out, eventually you will learn what makes each other tick and it
will all be worth it.0 -
Treat him like a King & he'll make you his Queen.
Be creative when saying "I love you" - write it on a fogged up bathroom mirror or on a little note to put in his lunch for work.
The one we always hear: "Don't go to bed angry" - It's so true though
Don't sweat the small stuff (it's all small stuff) If he leaves his socks on the floor after work, don't make it into a huge deal.
Do things together, but allow time for solitude & with friends.
COMMUNICATION!!!
COMMUNICATION!!!
COMMUNICATION!!!
Congratulations on the engagement & Good Luck!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Make sure you are marrying your best friend! My wife and I are best friends first, parents second then husband and wife. Been marrie for 33 years now,.0
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Check his texts daily.
And his internet history (seriously... *this* has gotten me tons of hugs and kisses </sarc>)0 -
Pick and choose your arguments. Don't go out of your way to prove, I told you so. Always share laughs together and reflect on your time together. Communicate, communicate, communicate, don't assume that each other should know what you want. You can't blame the other for not knowing something if you didn't make sure to communicate it, even the smallest of things.
Most of all, enjoy each other's company. You never know what tomorrow may bring and it would be a shame if your time together was cut short and all you had was regret about fretting about the little things when you should have been making the best of your time with each other.0 -
If your husband suggests having only one e-mail between the two of you, run far and fast.
If your husband refuses to share open access to his email, run far and fast.
More seriously though...if you love him enough to marry him...remember that. People stumble and slip, and sometimes you want to strangle them...but you've made a promise.
Promises, are best...when they're kept.0 -
These replies are far too serious, people.
Please, more trolling.
OK, since this is from the OP, I'll dip into the sarcasm file:
After the wedding, introduce him as your FIRST husband.0 -
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A wedding is like a funeral, but with musicians. ;-)0
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Love him and respect him but do not be a doormat!0
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Check his texts daily.
And his internet history (seriously... *this* has gotten me tons of hugs and kisses </sarc>)
No really, I'd recommend the internet history too. Knowing about his fascination with "hot teenage porn" probably would've opened my eyes a little before I married him...0 -
Sit N Spin often,0
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:flowerforyou:0
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Check his texts daily.
And his internet history (seriously... *this* has gotten me tons of hugs and kisses </sarc>)
No really, I'd recommend the internet history too. Knowing about his fascination with "hot teenage porn" probably would've opened my eyes a little before I married him...
Any man worth being with, won't care if you check his texts, email, or internet history...lol.
Seriously.0 -
And here is much advice from smarter people than I:
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts”
-Jeff Foxworthy
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
-Groucho Marx
“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.” -H.V. Prochnow
“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson
"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.” -Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
-Rodney Dangerfield
“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.” -Minnie Pearl
"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman."
-Maryon Pearson
“They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.” -H.L. Mencken
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield
“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken
“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen
“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
-Lawrence Housman
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith
“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?” -Barbra Streisand
“My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.” -Armistead Maupin
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." -Erma Bombeck
“I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.” -Lewis Grizzard
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran0 -
Dont bother.0
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Check his texts daily.
And his internet history (seriously... *this* has gotten me tons of hugs and kisses </sarc>)
No really, I'd recommend the internet history too. Knowing about his fascination with "hot teenage porn" probably would've opened my eyes a little before I married him...
Well, that is true... but seeing that he was looking for furnished apartments and not knowing why (he was looking for a friend looking to move), while you are already in the middle of another fight, doesn't exactly put good thoughts into your head...0 -
Never call your spouse idiot, moron, stupid, etc.........remember that person chose you, so he/she must be pretty smart!0
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