Marriage Advice

KickassAugust

Check out Boobs together!
Smack em' if they let a fine rack walk by without telling you!
At least once a year slather them up with honey, and see what comes next.
Never bring a third person into your marriage... but insist on a 5th!
Talk about Money! Don't live on credit!
Don't let the little stuff bug you, like if you don't want them squeezing the toothpaste from the top - get your own damn toothpaste.
Remember that actually being married is completely different than getting married.

If you do all of this and then ACTUALLY CHECK OUT BOOBS together I'll give ya a 50/50 chance!

Also, as soon as you decide to have kids. You decide there will be someone else on earth your spouse loves more than you!

Good Luck!

WildFlower7

Sex...outside...on the trampoline...

Who said we bought it just for the kids? :drinker:

Sounds like a broken wiener waiting to happen. :laugh:

LMAO!!! Sex in many places work.

If you don't want him now, you wont want him later. Kids do change every thing. If they are living together now, nothing will really change right away. They will change over time though. So just brace for it. Have fun.

Sex, in the parking lot, in the backseat of your car after date nite. That's a real winner.

SPNLuver83

Never go to bed angry.

Josie_lifting_cats

Kick his butt once a day whether he needs it or not

Amen. :-)

LoViNlIFe0225

6) But yourself aside sometimes...its okay to put him and his needs first sometimes...even if this means doing something you don't like.

Like anal.

I think that's exactly what they meant. Notice how they used "but" -- oh so close to "butt" -- instead of "put"?

LOL!!! TYPO! But whatever floats your boat! :laugh:

AlsDonkBoxSquat

you can never go wrong with:

bacon
sex
bj's

and when you put all 3 together he won't even notice that new really expensive ____ that you bought.

va_va_voom

Men and women speak entirely different languages. Learn to communicate with your spouse in his language and vice versa.

LoViNlIFe0225

3) Never let your babies sleep in bed with you...they'll never stop and that should be a sacred place between you and your husband

THEY NEVER LEAVE YOUR BED, IF YOU DON'T MAKE THEM LEAVE ... That statement is false in my case. Share my bed with all my kids and oddly, I still went on to have more..;. This is very true for a lot of people. When kids are involved, do what you feel is best.

I don't have kids so I wouldn't know...I think that was some advice that she was given and followed cause the only time we were allowed to sleep in bed with her was when my dad was deployed. I do know a lot of my friends whose 5 and 6 year olds sleep with them and their spouse and they say its completely ruined their sex life...but I never looked at it from the perspective that they were not trying hard enough to "MAKE THEM LEAVE."

auroranflash

Give him a hug and a kiss when you see him after work, every day. Then, take a few moments to ask how his day went, and then listen with genuine curiosity. Hopefully he will do the same.

This is more appreciated than you know.

kimnsc

Remember, he is your master and you are his slave. Whatever he asks, you do. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. He better come home to a warm meal, silent children and you standing naked at the door. No exceptions.

Good luck.

I'm seriously hoping that was tongue in cheek....

I'm sure he'd prefer something else in cheek...

I'm sure he would but if my treated me as a slave, well that is moot because I wouldn't have chosen that weak of a man. If that is the life you live I feel sorry for you.

Mrsfullwood

What's his is yours and what's yours is...yours! :laugh:

EmCarroll1990

Remember, he is your master and you are his slave. Whatever he asks, you do. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. He better come home to a warm meal, silent children and you standing naked at the door. No exceptions.

Good luck.

I'm seriously hoping that was tongue in cheek....

I'm sure he'd prefer something else in cheek...

I'm sure he would but if my treated me as a slave, well that is moot because I wouldn't have chosen that weak of a man. If that is the life you live I feel sorry for you.

Geeze girl, take a joke. If your life is this serious, I feel sorry for you.

Kristy_Elizabeth

6) But yourself aside sometimes...its okay to put him and his needs first sometimes...even if this means doing something you don't like.

Like anal.

Or other things. Like oral.

Oh no ladies, better yet, like them both!!! FTW!

MamaKeeks

if you get a dog, it might eat its own poop.

If you have kids, they'll poop in the tub.

And c'mon... let's be honest... they also might eat their own poop

Hey - the woman needs to know what she might be getting herself into!!! lol

GasMasterFlash

I'm sure he would but if my treated me as a slave, well that is moot because I wouldn't have chosen that weak of a man. If that is the life you live I feel sorry for you.

If you cannot recognize a joke, I feel sorry for you. :flowerforyou:

saxmaniac

Never go more than 2 days without sex, even when you don't feel like it. Aim for daily, or more.

Never deny your spouse sex.

Everything else will fall in place if you're both laid like tile

andivaclavicek

Don't stop "doing the deed".

hypersensitiveb

Pray with your husband, for your husband, tell God every time your mad at your husband ( do not tell any every one else) , and later if the time comes pray all together with your husband and kids some times too.

zippo32

Figure out what love language you/ your spouse are and give this to each other occasionally.

andivaclavicek

if you get a dog, it might eat its own poop.

If you have kids, they'll poop in the tub.

And c'mon... let's be honest... they also might eat their own poop

Hey - the woman needs to know what she might be getting herself into!!! lol

They also might "paint" with their poop. Invest in a carpet cleaner. :ohwell:

mattelfaige

communicatin, dont judge, and dont go to bed angry at each other; and never stop learning about the other.
(watch movie called Fire proof). make sure to have lots of date nights

juliecat1

Don't do it!

Drag out this engagement and those ab pics as long as you can
:P

Good luck my dear!

leaso75581

I'll start.

Boys have wee wees and girls have hoohahs. I recommend getting a magazine that explains all this in better detail. :drinker:

too funny!!

leaso75581

Don't stop "doing the deed".

good advice!!

Greeneyz64

Kids change EVERYTHING! Accept it.....

Don't forget to catch up every once in a while. Sit down an have a meal together at least twice a week. You will be surprised on how fast life takes over.

Be honest with each other about EVERYTHING (especially money matters). But even then the answer to "Do I look fat in these jeans" is always NO.

Hahaha...Great Advice! :flowerforyou:

saxmaniac

(watch movie called Fire proof)

That movie is a pile of crap. Courting other men happens before marriage, not during.

Treat her well, but if your wife starts courting another man while you're married - sack up and kick her out.

MassiveDelta

All of these comments are great. There is good advice and bad advice given here. Trying to determining which is which is the same as how your marriage will be.

If you do nothing else at least take some of this advice good or bad

Choose Wisely!

GdeVries

Don't do it.

agree - there really is no point.

k8blujay2

if you get a dog, it might eat its own poop.

If you have kids, they'll poop in the tub.

Truth!

MassiveDelta

Never go to bed angry.

bad advice ...going to bed angry makes for great sex