Who initiates in your house??

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  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
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    Both, I do a little more than him but thats fine. He used to not initiate very often until I told him he needed too, after that it wasn't a problem.

    Most of the time it just happens and there is no initiation or its mutual initiation.

    We have been together for almost 5 years.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    For us, somewhere close to even, but wifey has an insatiable sex drive. Your relationship will be different.

    But even if she rarely initiated, I would not have a problem. Women often have reactive desire, and want to be pursued. So long as you don't turn each other down it's all good.
  • jpuderbaugh
    jpuderbaugh Posts: 318 Member
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    I'm a newlywed, and I very rarely initiate. Once we get health insurance, I will discuss my low libido with a doctor, but until then, he initiates almost 100% of the time. Since sex isn't important to me, he just lets me know when he wants it, and I take care of him. :wink: It's an odd situation, but we're both satisfied, and that's all that matters.

    omg, you sound like me. my low libido the doc thinks comes from dealing with my mom (cancer patient) and not feeling good about myself. I don't feel sexy and some days don't know what he sees in me. Mine is coming back slowly since my parents moved out though.
  • Amcolecchi
    Amcolecchi Posts: 260 Member
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    I agree! I wish my husband would initiate it more!! Or when he does start it..it's like he just grabs my boobs and expects me to be ready!!...really? lol
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Even though you rarely say no, it may feel to him like he's the only one that really wants it. That can feel a little one sided and selfish to some people. I can't be in a relationship where I am always the initiator. I will lose interest eventually because I will feel like you have little interest, if any at all.

    Additionally, not all guys, but some guys want their women to take charge sometimes. It's sexy.
  • deftanker
    deftanker Posts: 105 Member
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    IMO First of all i dont know how serious he was about leaving you butin the end. So what? You know his concern just do it occasionally. Maybe every 5th time or something just go tear his clothes off and abuse him for a while (call it a workout) and he will be happy. He just wants to feel wanted.




    What the hell else would you be doing for those 2 minutes?
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    My hand.

    Damn Johnny, could that pic get any lower?
  • nray3119
    nray3119 Posts: 100 Member
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    Usually me, but it requires negotiation, usually related to promising to buy her something the next day. I hurts my feelings, and makes me feel pretty cheap and worthless.
    I never thought to ask for things.......

    It was mostly my ex because I worked full time then came home and took care of the kids. Maybe if all I had to do was work I would have had more time to think about other things.
  • lostsanity137
    lostsanity137 Posts: 298 Member
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    Me and my bf have been together about 3 years. I think he initiates a little more than I do. But I get turned down more than he does! lol.
    I always want it at weird times of the day or when he is exhausted from work. :blushing:

    I almost never turn him down.

    Honestly though, we are both usually too tired to do it as much as you during the week. Your guy is lucky. A lot of people don't get it anywhere near as much.

    But, if you think it is a real problem and want him to feel better about the whole issue, then try initiating more. But if he wants to leave you if you don't...well I think that is a bit much and I hate ultimatums. :/ I think you should talk to him about it.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    It is pretty even in our house. One of us will jump the other nearly every day.


    You are awesome!
  • chrystee
    chrystee Posts: 295 Member
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    IMO First of all i dont know how serious he was about leaving you butin the end. So what? You know his concern just do it occasionally. Maybe every 5th time or something just go tear his clothes off and abuse him for a while (call it a workout) and he will be happy. He just wants to feel wanted.




    What the hell else would you be doing for those 2 minutes?

    BWAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHA
  • sel254
    sel254 Posts: 273 Member
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    I'm a widow but we both initiated it as much as each other. We even worked together and I used to try my luck going into his office a lot...A LOT!"!! lol
  • FrostyFour
    FrostyFour Posts: 262
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    It's usually me. He initiates about once a month and we call those "full moon" days... something about a full moon makes him a ravenous hound lol

    These days with 2 kids I usually opt to wait for those days so instead of having decent so-so sex we have mind numbing mental cigarette afterward sex LOL
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I don't initiate. I don't know. I just feel like the man is supposed to do that.

    Get naked.


    Really though, sometimes, I will just whisper in his ear the things I would like him to do to me or me to him, He will come home and I will be cooking dinner in an apron, panties and heels - nothing else, I will buy something really sexy to wear for him and tell him that I got something for him - then model it, when we are laying in bed I will just rub his chest and down his leg and just barely graze "down there" and once it responds, I just start taking care of things......... There are TONS of ways. It is way easier to get them in the mood than us.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    I can see Im in the minority but I am of the mind that is relieves stress for both people sometimes at the same time ; ), is lots of fun and a little bit of a workout if you do it right.. Why wouldn’t I want to try and get as much of it as I can? Id take sex over my favorite desert/food anytime...
  • Amcolecchi
    Amcolecchi Posts: 260 Member
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    How many times a week is everyone doing it?
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
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    Same as you - he initiates. Honestly... I only initiate if he's already guilt-tripped me recently about lack of said initiation.

    I dunno where my sex drive is, it's not that I don't enjoy it, but I never think "yup, it's about time." I could go for months. Probably have. But I RARELY turn down unless there's a legitimate reason (usually, "holy crap dude you're so drunk this won't be fun at all")

    However I do see, from his point of view, how it would be annoying and discouraging!! It's just I'm never randomly aroused. Dunnoooo.
  • thinkscientist
    thinkscientist Posts: 3
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    Tell him it could be worse. I initiate it 99.99% of the time and I get turned down about 90% of the time. I would have probably left by now but I know I would lose half my stuff.

    :laugh:
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    Tell him it could be worse. I initiate it 99.99% of the time and I get turned down about 90% of the time. I would have probably left by now but I know I would lose half my stuff.

    I initiate 100% of the time, and get turned down 100% of the time. You are living the dream...just sayin.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Lack of physical intimacy will kill a relationship for many people. Just sayin. If one person has to always initiate then it is going to feel like the other doesn't really want to. Which then in turn leads to wondering why exactly that is.

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