Who initiates in your house??
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if i get it one time a week im thankful.0
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Tell him it could be worse. I initiate it 99.99% of the time and I get turned down about 90% of the time. I would have probably left by now but I know I would lose half my stuff.
had this relationship before. got rid of that one. stuff is replaceable. Years of my life isn't.0 -
Initiating is easy
-Get naked, lay in bed and cover up like nothing and when he slips in bed he's be pleasantly surprised to see you without your pj's! I did this 2 nights ago, but with thigh-high stockings on and nothing else. :devil:
-Make a kiss last, and make it spread from his nouth to his neck to his chest.... and so on...
-Just tell him what you want him to do to you OR what you want to do to him.
Or just sleep naked every night! It IS starting to warm up.. At least here on the west coast.0 -
Sounds like a great method.This may sound really stupid, but I don't want to initiate because I feel like it would be putting him on the spot to get a hard on. I just feel around if we're making out and if he has a boner then it's go time..0 -
How many times a week is everyone doing it?
once. maybe.
Ditto...more like twice a month! Honestly though...we were never rabbits. When child #1 was born, we almost went an entire YEAR (pregnancy included). Yeah...that one hurt....
Trying to get back into doing it more, but with 2 kids and each of us working full time jobs, and kid #1 into sports...we're just flat out TIRED!
Been married 2 years and it's been about a year and a half.....0 -
For those of you saying "he's seriously going to leave you?! That's petty!"
How is feeling undesirable petty? I've struggled with this in my marriage for awhile now. My wife's libido has gone way down the tubes over the last 2 or 3 years...half the time I get turned down or she acts like it's a chore and the other half I have to initiate. She never does. The sex we have is fantastic but getting started is a big hurdle and it has regularly made me feel unwanted, undesired, and self conscious. If that's petty then so be it but I can't blame the guy. Especially if you are aware of the issue.
I'll be realistic...I probably won't leave my wife over it. While it frustrates me like I said it's pretty amazing once we get going. But I can't discredit someone else feeling that way. If they feel bad enough about it to consider leaving then it's obviously important and needs to be addressed.
I'll tell you my side of it.. I feel like I do EVERYTHING at home. My husband eats peanuts, and leaves the peanut dust and shells all over the counter.. I come home and the island counter is a huge mess.. the dogs get into a mess, and I have to clean it.. I get my son ready for bed, bath, story, bed.. I mostly make dinner..
He has a hard time sleeping, so he comes home, sits at his computer and goes to bed early.. so by the time I have "ME" time, its 9pm, and I'm trying to eat my dinner and get to bed by 10ish.. that precious hour is all the time I have to myself.. so a lot of the time, I feel like having my hour. LOL. The rest of the day is stress; work, working out, cleaning up, making dinner, etc..
If he did more of the house stuff, I'd feel like doing it more often, but it feels like another point on my checklist that I have to get done each day.. but I try to make an effort..
So you guys need to look at that.. Is your wife busting her *kitten* with the house, bills, work??
and do the girls who wear panties and heels when their hubby comes home have children?? I couldn't do that, I have a young son..
The one thing I will say for my husband, who I love very much, is that he picks up our son, and enables me to make sure I get my work out every day.. he didn't used to do that.. and he's seen that if I can work out, I am more in the mood.. especially since losing some weight. I have more stamina, and I feel better about myself.
I wear panties and heels when my hubby comes home from is late shift. We have a (almost) 3 yr old daughter. I am a stay at home mom who's in the process of opening up my own business. I cook clean and handle ALL the finances. I bust my *kitten* all day everyday.
Maybe in not other cases but I honestly dont care. I LOVE staying home with my daughter and taking care of my husband in every way possible. He is an amazing man and has done alot for our family so I make sure i do whatever it takes to try and make his life a bit easier.
My sex drive has increased over the years while his stayed the same. Everyones different. and every relationship is different.0 -
He has mentioned lingerie several times. I always feel so stupid and that I have no business wearing it cause I don't look like a VS model but maybe I should just go for it.
I say try it! Guys aren't as critcal about our bodies as we are. If he has expressed an interest, then he must think you are sexy and would look hella sexy wearing something scandalous!
And what a pleasant surprise for him when you do it. He will definitely think you are interested AND he will know you care about what he wants and needs. What better way to show him you desire him back when you bring up a fantasy of his. Toss aside your insecurites, because he won't see those things you see!
My hubby really wanted me to buy one of thise sexy halloween custumes but I couldnt do it because I know I wouldnt look like the picture!
But I've found that most of the time, to your MAN, you do look like the pic! I have some self-esteem issues and my bf makes me feel like a freaking supermodel.. in anything or nothing.0 -
I can assure you I do not look like a VS model in it. I look real. I look like I can take a good roll in the hay. I look sexy in the body I have. You put on something slinky with some heels, *drool* - it makes me feel great. I dont look like "them". sure. but he didn't choose to be with "them", so it really doesnt do any good to compare to someone who's JOB it is to not eat much and work out all day, only to be interrupted now and then by cameras. And even THEY get airbrushed and post-edited to look like that. Don't worry about anyone else. When I am in MY lingerie, I am the sexiest b!tch on Earth, and NOBODY can tell me any different.
Love this! and you are totally right. He's always telling me that I am still one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen so I need to just stop and get over my insecurites! and be the sexiest ***** on earth too! lol or maybe the 2nd sexiest. haha0 -
Tell him it could be worse. I initiate it 99.99% of the time and I get turned down about 90% of the time. I would have probably left by now but I know I would lose half my stuff.
I initiate 100% of the time, and get turned down 100% of the time. You are living the dream...just sayin.
Soooooo sad. I gave my ex everything. I dont need his money. Its about whats best for my kids and me. As of yesterday I am free. YIPPEE0 -
...this thread makes me sad.
especially when you see there are women who have a libido0 -
For those of you saying "he's seriously going to leave you?! That's petty!"
How is feeling undesirable petty? I've struggled with this in my marriage for awhile now. My wife's libido has gone way down the tubes over the last 2 or 3 years...half the time I get turned down or she acts like it's a chore and the other half I have to initiate. She never does. The sex we have is fantastic but getting started is a big hurdle and it has regularly made me feel unwanted, undesired, and self conscious. If that's petty then so be it but I can't blame the guy. Especially if you are aware of the issue.
I'll be realistic...I probably won't leave my wife over it. While it frustrates me like I said it's pretty amazing once we get going. But I can't discredit someone else feeling that way. If they feel bad enough about it to consider leaving then it's obviously important and needs to be addressed.
I'll tell you my side of it.. I feel like I do EVERYTHING at home. My husband eats peanuts, and leaves the peanut dust and shells all over the counter.. I come home and the island counter is a huge mess.. the dogs get into a mess, and I have to clean it.. I get my son ready for bed, bath, story, bed.. I mostly make dinner..
He has a hard time sleeping, so he comes home, sits at his computer and goes to bed early.. so by the time I have "ME" time, its 9pm, and I'm trying to eat my dinner and get to bed by 10ish.. that precious hour is all the time I have to myself.. so a lot of the time, I feel like having my hour. LOL. The rest of the day is stress; work, working out, cleaning up, making dinner, etc..
If he did more of the house stuff, I'd feel like doing it more often, but it feels like another point on my checklist that I have to get done each day.. but I try to make an effort..
So you guys need to look at that.. Is your wife busting her *kitten* with the house, bills, work??
and do the girls who wear panties and heels when their hubby comes home have children?? I couldn't do that, I have a young son..
The one thing I will say for my husband, who I love very much, is that he picks up our son, and enables me to make sure I get my work out every day.. he didn't used to do that.. and he's seen that if I can work out, I am more in the mood.. especially since losing some weight. I have more stamina, and I feel better about myself.
2 things...
The question wasn't about how often you do it...if you're busy doing all those things you have a right to be tired and want alone time. That has nothing to do with initiating.
As for the children arguement...I'm guessing if a woman has children...so does her husband...just a thought. Who said you needed to meet him at the door in panties? I'd be perfectly happy with my wife simply rolling over and kissing on my neck. I don't need some big special initiation every time. I just want to feel like she actually enjoys and WANTS to have sex with me.
I don't think anybody asking that...male or female...is wrong.
Someone mentioned that she surprises the hubby by cooking in just heels and an apron or something..0 -
bump0
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I ALWAYS initiate. I think in 6 years, he's started it maybe twice, lol....I've always joked that I'm the "guy" of the relationship, because I am always ready to go, while he is more likely to plead a headache, or complain of being too tired....
same here. i want it. he doesnt. he always falls asleep on the couch so im not that offended. hes the only person i know that sleeps sitting up on the couch hanging his head down. hes fallen asleep and looks like he is sleeping like one of our cats. we have one child and we get up early and weve been married 13 years so i guess its bound to happen. once a week, like i said, is a great thing for me. id like it much more, but as long as we are together thats what matters. the first part is quoted stupid computer. haha.0 -
If a guy gets turned down enough it is my experience that they will just go find someone who won't turn them down.
But then, do you want someone like that to stay? If you are giving it to him 4-5 times a week it sounds like he/you guys have other issues.0 -
Seems you might want to watch a few episodes of this -- http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/7-days-of-sex0
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For those of you saying "he's seriously going to leave you?! That's petty!"
How is feeling undesirable petty? I've struggled with this in my marriage for awhile now. My wife's libido has gone way down the tubes over the last 2 or 3 years...half the time I get turned down or she acts like it's a chore and the other half I have to initiate. She never does. The sex we have is fantastic but getting started is a big hurdle and it has regularly made me feel unwanted, undesired, and self conscious. If that's petty then so be it but I can't blame the guy. Especially if you are aware of the issue.
I'll be realistic...I probably won't leave my wife over it. While it frustrates me like I said it's pretty amazing once we get going. But I can't discredit someone else feeling that way. If they feel bad enough about it to consider leaving then it's obviously important and needs to be addressed.
I'll tell you my side of it.. I feel like I do EVERYTHING at home. My husband eats peanuts, and leaves the peanut dust and shells all over the counter.. I come home and the island counter is a huge mess.. the dogs get into a mess, and I have to clean it.. I get my son ready for bed, bath, story, bed.. I mostly make dinner..
He has a hard time sleeping, so he comes home, sits at his computer and goes to bed early.. so by the time I have "ME" time, its 9pm, and I'm trying to eat my dinner and get to bed by 10ish.. that precious hour is all the time I have to myself.. so a lot of the time, I feel like having my hour. LOL. The rest of the day is stress; work, working out, cleaning up, making dinner, etc..
If he did more of the house stuff, I'd feel like doing it more often, but it feels like another point on my checklist that I have to get done each day.. but I try to make an effort..
So you guys need to look at that.. Is your wife busting her *kitten* with the house, bills, work??
and do the girls who wear panties and heels when their hubby comes home have children?? I couldn't do that, I have a young son..
The one thing I will say for my husband, who I love very much, is that he picks up our son, and enables me to make sure I get my work out every day.. he didn't used to do that.. and he's seen that if I can work out, I am more in the mood.. especially since losing some weight. I have more stamina, and I feel better about myself.
2 things...
The question wasn't about how often you do it...if you're busy doing all those things you have a right to be tired and want alone time. That has nothing to do with initiating.
As for the children arguement...I'm guessing if a woman has children...so does her husband...just a thought. Who said you needed to meet him at the door in panties? I'd be perfectly happy with my wife simply rolling over and kissing on my neck. I don't need some big special initiation every time. I just want to feel like she actually enjoys and WANTS to have sex with me.
I don't think anybody asking that...male or female...is wrong.
Someone mentioned that she surprises the hubby by cooking in just heels and an apron or something..
Didn't see that...but it's really not necessary.
My wife used to do that...when we were dating and had no kids. Hell I remember the day she bought me an xbox...I walked in and she was laying on the bed butt naked with an xbox on her lap.0 -
Mine complains to his friends that he doesnt get any, but then rejects me when I am all over him like a wet t-shirt.
Men are so confusing some days...0 -
He has mentioned lingerie several times. I always feel so stupid and that I have no business wearing it cause I don't look like a VS model but maybe I should just go for it.
Just go for it. You don't have to look like a VS model. You have look ready and available. I assure you that I don't look like a model- but he loves me and having sex with me, therefore it's not required!0 -
If a guy gets turned down enough it is my experience that they will just go find someone who won't turn them down.
But then, do you want someone like that to stay? If you are giving it to him 4-5 times a week it sounds like he/you guys have other issues.
Even if you never get turned down, being the aggressor 99.99% of the time still has an emotional toll.0 -
...this thread makes me sad.
especially when you see there are women who have a libido
Is that the womans fault if they don't tho? How do you fix that?0
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