Who initiates in your house??
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It is pretty even in our house. One of us will jump the other nearly every day.
Oh, to be young again! LOL.
He is 42, sir.0 -
I've read this entire thread, and I'm 100% sure my husband is getting lucky today.
Not if he turns you down.
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I'll tell you my side of it.. I feel like I do EVERYTHING at home. My husband eats peanuts, and leaves the peanut dust and shells all over the counter.. I come home and the island counter is a huge mess.. the dogs get into a mess, and I have to clean it.. I get my son ready for bed, bath, story, bed.. I mostly make dinner..
He has a hard time sleeping, so he comes home, sits at his computer and goes to bed early.. so by the time I have "ME" time, its 9pm, and I'm trying to eat my dinner and get to bed by 10ish.. that precious hour is all the time I have to myself.. so a lot of the time, I feel like having my hour. LOL. The rest of the day is stress; work, working out, cleaning up, making dinner, etc..
If he did more of the house stuff, I'd feel like doing it more often, but it feels like another point on my checklist that I have to get done each day.. but I try to make an effort..
So you guys need to look at that.. Is your wife busting her *kitten* with the house, bills, work??
and do the girls who wear panties and heels when their hubby comes home have children?? I couldn't do that, I have a young son..
The one thing I will say for my husband, who I love very much, is that he picks up our son, and enables me to make sure I get my work out every day.. he didn't used to do that.. and he's seen that if I can work out, I am more in the mood.. especially since losing some weight. I have more stamina, and I feel better about myself.
Well, it sounds like you have all your excuses wrapped up with a nice little bow, doesn't it? Complaining is not likely to get help around the house. Take some of your "you" time and make it "us" time. Or, god forbid, go to bed a little later every now and then.
And yes, I have a 6 year old daughter. I just make sure that I am prepared for the nights where she goes to sleepovers, or will not be home due to gymnastics until later. Plus, the heels and panties thing was not the ONLY thing mentioned, and I bet your kid has a bedtime, right? After he goes down, YOU go down.
Perhaps he would be a bit more social toward you and helpful around the house if he felt like there was a reason to give a half a s#it! You would be AMAZED at how much more cooperative a man who doesn't feel cast aside so that you can live YOUR life.
Put a bowl on the counter for the peanuts and ask him to use that. Get rid of the dogs if they negatively affect your relationship with your husband. Yes, I love my dogs, but if it was that much of a drain for me to take care of them that I pick them over intimacy, someone else will love them too.
If a person wants something bad enough, they will find a way. The only thing standing between anyone and their goal is the bulls#it story they keep telling themselves as to why they can't achieve it.
There is a lot of truth to what she said. Why should he do those things if you are not giving anything in return?
I know.. but when you do try harder, and nothing changes.. then?
But I will put forth more effort! It is definitely difficult for me.. I know why, and I try to move past it.
So much more mental for women.0 -
When I met my wife, she was a dovorced mother of two little girls. In order to supplement her income, she hosted lingerie parties. She always made sure her display inventory was in her size.
When she initiates, she will usually get up from the couch and start up the stairs. About halfway up, she will stop, look over her shoulder at me and ask, "What color would you like tonight, Michael?' I tell her and she heads up the stairs. That's my prompt to go behind the bar and pour her a glass of wine.
I enjoy seeing her come back down the stairs and revealing her selection from the high heels and moving upwards.0 -
no one0
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I've read this entire thread, and I'm 100% sure my husband is getting lucky today.
Not if he turns you down.
He won't. :bigsmile:
.......I hope not, anyway...0 -
...this thread makes me sad.
especially when you see there are women who have a libido
No kidding. What really sucks is the woman I was with just before I met my wife wanted it all the time. And when my wife and I met, we did it almost every day of the week and sometimes 2 and 3 times in a day. And I always take the time to make sure she gets everything she wants unless she tells me she just wants it fast and furious. But once we got married she tells me sex is not important. WTF? And I am the one who gets the girls every day, makes them dinner, and we split house work 50/50. I used to think there was no excuse to cheat on your wife. Used to think. I haven't done it, don't think I would. But I no longer think guys are scum for cheating.
That stinks - you got the bad end of the deal! Especially since you clean! Sex is important - as a connection for couples, gets your blood going, increases your happiness, makes you feel good. Basic human connections are not to be overlooked.0 -
I'll tell you my side of it.. I feel like I do EVERYTHING at home. My husband eats peanuts, and leaves the peanut dust and shells all over the counter.. I come home and the island counter is a huge mess.. the dogs get into a mess, and I have to clean it.. I get my son ready for bed, bath, story, bed.. I mostly make dinner..
He has a hard time sleeping, so he comes home, sits at his computer and goes to bed early.. so by the time I have "ME" time, its 9pm, and I'm trying to eat my dinner and get to bed by 10ish.. that precious hour is all the time I have to myself.. so a lot of the time, I feel like having my hour. LOL. The rest of the day is stress; work, working out, cleaning up, making dinner, etc..
If he did more of the house stuff, I'd feel like doing it more often, but it feels like another point on my checklist that I have to get done each day.. but I try to make an effort..
So you guys need to look at that.. Is your wife busting her *kitten* with the house, bills, work??
and do the girls who wear panties and heels when their hubby comes home have children?? I couldn't do that, I have a young son..
The one thing I will say for my husband, who I love very much, is that he picks up our son, and enables me to make sure I get my work out every day.. he didn't used to do that.. and he's seen that if I can work out, I am more in the mood.. especially since losing some weight. I have more stamina, and I feel better about myself.
Well, it sounds like you have all your excuses wrapped up with a nice little bow, doesn't it? Complaining is not likely to get help around the house. Take some of your "you" time and make it "us" time. Or, god forbid, go to bed a little later every now and then.
And yes, I have a 6 year old daughter. I just make sure that I am prepared for the nights where she goes to sleepovers, or will not be home due to gymnastics until later. Plus, the heels and panties thing was not the ONLY thing mentioned, and I bet your kid has a bedtime, right? After he goes down, YOU go down.
Perhaps he would be a bit more social toward you and helpful around the house if he felt like there was a reason to give a half a s#it! You would be AMAZED at how much more cooperative a man who doesn't feel cast aside so that you can live YOUR life.
Put a bowl on the counter for the peanuts and ask him to use that. Get rid of the dogs if they negatively affect your relationship with your husband. Yes, I love my dogs, but if it was that much of a drain for me to take care of them that I pick them over intimacy, someone else will love them too.
If a person wants something bad enough, they will find a way. The only thing standing between anyone and their goal is the bulls#it story they keep telling themselves as to why they can't achieve it.
There is a lot of truth to what she said. Why should he do those things if you are not giving anything in return?
Well each case is different, but I think more often than not its just an excuse for not satisfying your partner's needs. I think the biology is the driving force, but then they have to rationalize why they don't want to get intimate with their partner so they come up with reasons such as being too busy, too tired, then blaming their spouse for not doing their share of duties.
I know that I'm a busy guy, yet I always make time for intimacy because its important to me. My wife has a low libido but understands how I feel about the whole thing and doesn't make excuses.0 -
He has mentioned lingerie several times. I always feel so stupid and that I have no business wearing it cause I don't look like a VS model but maybe I should just go for it.
Bronzer, heels, and low lighting! They sell a great spray bronzer at VS!0 -
I've read this entire thread, and I'm 100% sure my husband is getting lucky today.
My boyfriend is too! I'm thinking of putting on the school girl skirt for him!0 -
50 shades of grey!!!! READ IT!!!0
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You and me both. I haven't gotten laid since January 1st. I'm flippin dying here.
Mmmm.....
Dammit, I need a man :laugh:
LOL brilliant.
Oh yea...I feel your pain. Ugh.0 -
I can't understand why any man would leave their wife of 16 years over something as trivial as that! I mean, I understand, he just wants to feel wanted. Maybe he thinks that because you never initiate it that when you say "yes" you are really just going through the motions for the sake of him.
To answer the question though, my bf is nearly always the initiator too. I am like you, while I'm quite happy to say yes most of the time, and can get in the mood easily, I also have no problem going without for quite a while (a lot longer than he can go without) If he didn't start anything for a few weeks, then yes I'd probably initiate something, but I can't see that happening anytime soon! :laugh:0 -
I second the 50 shades of grey suggestion. Awesome!!!! And, 50 shades darker, and 50 shades freed. Should be considered porn. lol...0
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I generally just tell him what I want and he finds that sexy, life is to short to hint around. Obviously people get married because of an attraction to one another. My finacee' works 12-14 hour days and I know he is tired and ready to go to bed at 7 or 8 at night when I am not so I get creative. I climb in the shower with him or we go for a drive to the lake. You have to keep that spark going just like if you were dating. We have been together for 3 years and I still get excited and butterflies when I see him.0
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50 shades of grey!!!! READ IT!!!
A couple other options - Something Blue, Something Borrowed(short story collections), the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, the Black Dagger Brotherhood (vampires) and lots more!0 -
. But like I said--I don't hardly ever tell him no and we are together probably 4 or 5 times a week. What is the norm in your relationship?
Oh my god! Three or four times a WEEK? I've only been with my fiance three years and we 're lucky if it's once a week! I have basically no libido and don't think about sex at all, and he stopped wanting to initiate it all the time, so now we just don't do it much. Is that strange?
Very Strange!!!!0 -
Being Single is definitely NOT the answer......this thread makes me sad.
especially when you see there are women who have a libido
Is that the womans fault if they don't tho? How do you fix that?
Stay single.0 -
I've noticed many of the women who think its ridiculous that someone would leave over that...are also the women saying they never initiate.
Food for thought....or fu**ing.0 -
50 shades of grey!!!! READ IT!!!
I haven't read it...but reading something erotic might help. Sex, for women, is so much more mental than men. I know a good sex scene can get my blood up :blushing:
Something that's worked for me in the past as well is sending texts about what I'd like my partner to do to me. It got us BOTH in the mood...especially if you do it in the middle of the day when neither of you can *ahem* handle the issue. Builds tension and makes for GREAT sex later.0
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