Are most men like this to live with??

mischa_12

I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I'm just wondering if I'm being taken advantage of or if all guys are like this?

My boyfriend NEVER washes up his dishes which really annoys me because he has friend eggs and bacon every morning for breakfast. I just think he could at least clean his pans and plates and cups once as a sign of respect rather than leaving than for me. I also have cereal every morning which he knows that I don't use a pan...I just have one bowl.

He also just expects I'm going to make his dinner every night which is a pain for me because I'm a vegetarian and he's not so I have to make separate meals. He often doesn't finish until late so I have to make sure his meal is ready and hot by the time he gets home. I hate to sound like I'm ranting and being selfish but it's getting to the point where I don't want to do it anymore and I resent him for it sometimes. It's things too like making his bed which he just expects I'll do every morning and then it's funny because sometimes I'll leave a couple of crumbs on his couch and he'll say 'You can't eat breakfast on the couch, it has to be at the table...you're too messy' and then I'll look in the sink and there's a bazillion plates and cups there again :I

I'm just wondering if it's me being picky or if there really is a problem here?

ket_the_jet

Yes. Every guy is like that.

Wait, I mean no, not every guy is like that.

So you're dating? Do you communicate?
-wtk

budhandy

some men can be like that but your bf sounds like he is just well lazy imo. If i was you so i would explain to him he better help out more.

Loraah

Stop doing things for him, then when he next comes to make his breakfast he won't have a pan to cook it in my ex was exactly like that

vodkaswigger

Yes, thats why the past 7 years of living on my own have been bliss! You do sort of tend to get used to it tho as it becomes routine but im feeling your misery, try and have a word if its bugging you so much, might not do any good but its worth a try x

GasMasterFlash

I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I'm just wondering if I'm being taken advantage of or if all guys are like this?

Yes and yes. :drinker:

scapez

Your choices:

1. Hope that he changes (he probably won't).
2. Accept things the way they are.
3. Move out and don't resign to being his maid for the rest of your life.

7funnygirl7

Can't live with them and can't live without them!...LOL. Welcome to love and compromise honey! :bigsmile:

tacha00001

It sounds like you are acting as his mother than his girlfriend. If it bothers you, then say something about it. Some men are like children. If you don't put your foot down, he will run all over you.

hpsaucette

Seriously?

Sounds like he's stuck in the stoneage. Unless he's hunting/gathering for you and you've got nothing else to do with your day why on earth is he expecting you to do that for him? what does he do for you?

Who did it before you, his mother?

Talk to him about it. Maybe he thinks he's doing something.

PJ64

If he doesn't know it annoys you, he will keep doing it. Everything you wrote here is what you need to tell him. Diplomatically of course, nobody likes to hear they're a slob (even if it's true).

LiddyBit

I don't think it's useful to essentialize but yes, I think your BF is taking advantage. Not because he is a man but because he is immature. Which is not an exclusively male trait.

susansmoaks

If you haven't told him the things that bother you, then he doesn't know.

SinkTheBismarck

Wait, did I read it right? Are you his girlfriend or his MOTHER? :noway:

DPernet

Sounds like he's replaced his mother with you. Do you wash and iron all his clothes as well?

Communication. You need to tell him what's bothering you. I think a lot of guys will otherwise just assume that you don't mind doing all these things. We're not mind readers and he probably can't smell that you're unhappy about this stuff

suzzann666

not every guy is like that...just most of them!!

AmyM713

I do dishes, cook, clean, laundry for the 4 boys/men in my life. This is sadly how it can be. The oldest of the 4 does occasionally help but sometimes it takes a bit of pressure such as me saying "I'm not the only one that lives in this house yet I seem to do everything" that usually signals to him that I might need a little help.

Talk to your bf and let him know how your feeling see if that helps if it doesn't then stop cleaning up after him and let him do it himself.

marieautumn

if he expects you to do those things for him, what is he doing in return? paying more of the bills? if you are finacially equal i would have a serious talk and tell him you're not a maid, but he can hire one if he chooses. Otherwise, he should grow up and pick up his own mess.

ket_the_jet

Wait, did I read it right? Are you his girlfriend or his MOTHER? :noway:

I didn't expect my mother to wait on me and she wasn't going out of her way to do so either.

But I'm one of those "started doing his own laundry at ten" kinds of kids.
-wtk

TexanThom

NO and No. I do all the dishes, cooking and cleaning. I happen to be out of work right now, and my GF is working. I think that is the only way it should be. When I go back to work we will share the duties.

DeckerDoll

Are you writing this from the kitchen?

And no. I don't do the dishes when my husband is home. I cook, he cleans. He won't let me because he claims I don't rinse them well enough before putting them in the dishwasher. Strategy successful.