Are most men like this to live with??
Replies
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lol wtfI don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
you realise this, combined with everything youve said, makes it sound as though he bought you online right?
either that or you dont realise that the only thing crappy here is that he doesnt sleep next to you and live-in girlfriends with no job are considered housewives. If you dont have a job and he is paying for your living expenses, you better happily clean his dishes and make his bed. The man is supporting you. Say thank you.
AMEN!0 -
making his bed??? do you have separate beds??
stop babying him..hes a grown man...set the record straight NOW or he will expect you to do this FOREVER!!!!
We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor. He expects me to make his bed which I resent a bit I must say when I have to make it and then make my own small single mattress...
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
you're sleeping on the floor?? wth?? i'm outta here.....0 -
I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I'm just wondering if I'm being taken advantage of or if all guys are like this?
My boyfriend NEVER washes up his dishes which really annoys me because he has friend eggs and bacon every morning for breakfast. I just think he could at least clean his pans and plates and cups once as a sign of respect rather than leaving than for me. I also have cereal every morning which he knows that I don't use a pan...I just have one bowl.
He also just expects I'm going to make his dinner every night which is a pain for me because I'm a vegetarian and he's not so I have to make separate meals. He often doesn't finish until late so I have to make sure his meal is ready and hot by the time he gets home. I hate to sound like I'm ranting and being selfish but it's getting to the point where I don't want to do it anymore and I resent him for it sometimes. It's things too like making his bed which he just expects I'll do every morning and then it's funny because sometimes I'll leave a couple of crumbs on his couch and he'll say 'You can't eat breakfast on the couch, it has to be at the table...you're too messy' and then I'll look in the sink and there's a bazillion plates and cups there again :I
I'm just wondering if it's me being picky or if there really is a problem here?
My boyfriend did this when we first moved in because his mother allowed this **** when he lived at home. He learned real quick when I refused to do it and would leave him stuff where ever he left it for about a week. He now washs the pots and puts his stuff in the dish washer, its also his job to take out the trash and he does the laundry. I clean the house and cook pretty much every night so I expect him to clean up, I'm not a maid. So just make sure to stand your ground and let him know that it is your home too and if he wants to treat you like a maid it better come with a pay check. I don't resent him for the crap, I resent his mother for allowing a grown man to do it. Only thing he still does that drives me crazy is he doesn't push in the chair at the dining room table when he's done. lol0 -
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
So, how "not financially equal" are you? If you don't have a job you're set up for that 1950s dynamic. Why shouldn't you be doing the dishes, etc.?0 -
Sounds like you're not happy. Maybe you let him treat you this way because you feel like you are beholden to him for keeping a roof over your head while you look for work. This is not a good situation. I hope you can get work and get out ASAP. It doesn't sound like it's headed in the right direction. Sleeping on the floor? Come on. My husband and I shared a twin bed for awhile. Not a lot of room, but you make it work if you care for your partner. There's plenty of room in your boyfriend's double bed. You don't even sleep in it and he expects you to make it? What a creep.0
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What is this thread were:
Are all BLACK people like this?
Are all GAYS like this?
Are all ______ like this?
The commenters probably would not be so cavalier in their negative generalizations.
The OP's topic does say "Are most men...."0 -
making his bed??? do you have separate beds??
stop babying him..hes a grown man...set the record straight NOW or he will expect you to do this FOREVER!!!!
We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor. He expects me to make his bed which I resent a bit I must say when I have to make it and then make my own small single mattress...
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
you're sleeping on the floor?? wth?? i'm outta here.....
JUST read this, wtf? Does he think you're a mail order bride??? I wouldn't allow this one bit, no offense0 -
lol wtfI don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
you realise this, combined with everything youve said, makes it sound as though he bought you online right?
either that or you dont realise that the only thing crappy here is that he doesnt sleep next to you and live-in girlfriends with no job are considered housewives. If you dont have a job and he is paying for your living expenses, you better happily clean his dishes and make his bed. The man is supporting you. Say thank you.
Just saw your post. Could not have and didn't say it better myself.0 -
when did you turn from his girlfriend into his mother? :noway:0
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I hate man bashing threads with an all-consuming passion.
Men. Are. Awesome.
Guess what - I suck at keeping the dishes and laundry and other chores done. I'm a girl.
Penises don't make someone a slob. Being a slob makes someone a slob.
Men - YOU ROCK! I love that you're logical and solution-based. I love when you make me feel safe. I love the way you smell. I love the way you look. I love when you fix things for me or show me how to fix them. I love that you put up with my emotional roller coasters.
Men. Are. Awesome.
/endrant
this post plus your default pic make me think you seriously want a man in your life.
LOL!!!! My thoughts exactly!!!!0 -
No argument there, but have you considered that I just happen to have a sense of humor?this post plus your default pic make me think you seriously want a man in your life.
And I repeat... men are awesome.0 -
I've only just recently moved in with my boyfriend as well, but from what I can tell about yours, that is not healthy or normal. He needs to help out at least SOME, and not just expect you to do everything without question. If I were you, I would drop him like it's hot.0
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My wife and I have an agreement on cooking/cleaning. Whoever cooks DOESN"T do the dishes. It works out well for both. Either you're tied up prepping or washing, but not both. Same thing with cleaning. We have two bathrooms, I am responsible for one, she's responsible for one, they get roughly equal use so it's not like one has a really easy one a and the other a difficult one.
JM0 -
Sounds like my brother and dad. Do they cook? No - they expect food every single evening, ready and piping hot. Does my brother do dishes? Uh no, he would be puzzled if I placed a container of Dish Soap infront of him to name. Does my dad cook? No, he microwaves eggs or does toast if no meals there for him.
So far, from my experience alot of guys are like that, but my vantage point is limited ATM so who knows what's out there, maybe considerate men who cook, sometimes clean and use ONE cup for a drink, not 6 littered throughout the house.
Lol, but be to fair not everyone is like that. I know of people's BF's and husbands who do just what you do for your current BF, and vic versa. I say speak up.
As for family.. Speaking up does nothing. We're all cut-throat. haha0 -
We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor.
Um...speechless now.0 -
you need to let him know that you are not his maid, and if he wants you to act like one, he needs to pay you for it! let him know your services don't come free!0
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Men are great.0
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WAIT, so the OP is living rent free with no job.
i change my vote. yeah you should be pulling your fair share by cooking and cleaning.0 -
You do all the cooking, cleaning and even make his bed? You sleep on a mattress on the floor when he sleeps in a DOUBLE bed?
You are not his girlfriend you are his live in maid/prostitute (assuming you have sex, do you get to use the bed for that?), except he only pays you in room and board.0 -
My husband is NOTHING like that but then again my husband is NOTHING like most men I know LOL! He cooks, cleans, is a neat freak, never leaves up the toilet seat, does laundry, does yardwork, etc. Your man probably won't change so you may as well start loooking elsewhere now or learn to live with it. I've been married almost 22 years. And what's with the separate beds?! I'm baffled!0
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This
lol wtfI don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
you realise this, combined with everything youve said, makes it sound as though he bought you online right?
either that or you dont realise that the only thing crappy here is that he doesnt sleep next to you and live-in girlfriends with no job are considered housewives. If you dont have a job and he is paying for your living expenses, you better happily clean his dishes and make his bed. The man is supporting you. Say thank you.0 -
So you have no job and are fully supported but don't want to do any housework? What the hell do you want to do all day? Sit on the couch and watch TV?
Get back in the kitchen and make that man some dinner.0 -
making his bed??? do you have separate beds??
stop babying him..hes a grown man...set the record straight NOW or he will expect you to do this FOREVER!!!!
We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor. He expects me to make his bed which I resent a bit I must say when I have to make it and then make my own small single mattress...
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
:noway: WHAT?!?!? Absurdity to say the least! Who cares how much money you do or do not make? You are a human being! You are not a dog that needs to be sleeping in a little special bed on the floor! Demand respect! If he can't deliver, move on!
I thought I was finish, :laugh: but did I read that correctly, you are making HIS bed. Lets be real, is this your boyfriend or just a roommate before anyone can advise. Sound like a roommate issue to me.0 -
As opposed to these 2 chest poppers which tells us men how sophisticated you are?I hate man bashing threads with an all-consuming passion.
Men. Are. Awesome.
Guess what - I suck at keeping the dishes and laundry and other chores done. I'm a girl.
Penises don't make someone a slob. Being a slob makes someone a slob.
Men - YOU ROCK! I love that you're logical and solution-based. I love when you make me feel safe. I love the way you smell. I love the way you look. I love when you fix things for me or show me how to fix them. I love that you put up with my emotional roller coasters.
Men. Are. Awesome.
/endrant
this post plus your default pic make me think you seriously want a man in your life.
chest poppers? after spending 6k, i dont need to pop my chest, thanks though. And that is quite a bit different than cramming a phallus shaped fruit down my throat and calling it a default.0 -
Preferably a sammichSo you have no job and are fully supported but don't want to do any housework? What the hell do you want to do all day? Sit on the couch and watch TV?
Get back in the kitchen and make that man some dinner.0 -
Is this thread a joke? Has to be, no?
"I sleep on a mattress on the floor." SERIOUSLY?!?! This can't be real.0 -
making his bed??? do you have separate beds??
stop babying him..hes a grown man...set the record straight NOW or he will expect you to do this FOREVER!!!!
We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor. He expects me to make his bed which I resent a bit I must say when I have to make it and then make my own small single mattress...
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
since you do not work and he is providing the residence, it does make sense that you would be taking care of the apartment and doing the cleaning since he is paying for everything. but it should not be like that once you do become financially stable, and the housework should be shared. unless you guys plan on doing something like that, where he will pay the bills and you do everything for the apartment.
talk with him about it, and discuss what your payment is right now for the residence. if it is doing what you are doing now simply as your payment because you are unemployed then that makes sense. make sure he knows that it is not something that will be done forever if you plan on being together that long, and that you do expect to be splitting things down the middle. if he takes care of fixing things and the cars and paying the bills, then it would seem fare that you clean and cook. but definitely make sure there is an understanding, and that you are both on the same page.0 -
Honey !! i have one word for you "RUN"!!! if he expects you to do all of this and you're not even married, i wouldn't be suprised when you are, he'll ask for a foot massage after you're done with those dishes. :noway:0
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making his bed??? do you have separate beds??
stop babying him..hes a grown man...set the record straight NOW or he will expect you to do this FOREVER!!!!
We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor. He expects me to make his bed which I resent a bit I must say when I have to make it and then make my own small single mattress...
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).
Are you a mail order bride? ¬_¬0 -
Well, this thread has sure taken a different course. At least all of you have a sense of humor! And I have seen the video (thank you very much...you're awesome).
Seriously though...hehe...ask him to sit down with you and express yourself and your unhappiness with the situation and provide a solution. For example...ask him if he can either alternate doing the dishes, do them with you, or do his own.
Meals are a separate issue since you both eat differently. He might not be aware or feel comfortable with how to make a complete meal and balanced meal for you....I'm being polite here.
It's sounds like an immaturity issue here. Men who LOVE WOMEN do for women and same in reverse. We try and make the other person happy by doing things we know will help. If he just isn't paying attention then just let him know he would be a great help if he did this for you, with you, or for himself. Tell him it would make you happy and feel like he cared.
If you don't get a positive response....then you have decisions to make. What you'll tolerate and for how long.
Best of Luck. The best relationships are ones that compliment each other, give each other room to grow,and share the responsibilities and burdens. That's my opinion. Life's to short for more stress. Your significan't other should make you laugh.0
This discussion has been closed.
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