Are most men like this to live with??

LuckyLeprechaun

This is true for all of the people, not just him. He will treat you however you allow him to treat you.

If you keep doing his dishes for him, he will keep expecting it. If you keep making sure his hot dinner is waiting for him when he gets off work, he will keep expecting it. There's nothing wrong unless you don't want to keep on in the manner you have been.

If you want things to change, you have to take action.

You need to sit down together and discuss these things and come to an agreement that makes both of you happy. Otherwise, one day you're going to get fed up and leave, and he will be left wondering what happened, and why you turned into such a meanie all of a sudden (that's how it will look from his side of things if you never speak up)

hennyben

Ummm NO they are not all like that to live with.

I'm kind of wondering why you would think that this is what it is like once a woman moves in with a man....

Anyway, tell him you're not his servant.

Sabresgal63

Tell him that you are not his mommy or his maid and he should put his big boy pants on and join the grown up world. You should only be doing those things for him because "you" want to, not because he expects it from you.................that crap happened too many moons ago..............oh, unless he would like to pay you for it:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

AZKristi

Well, if it was just the dishes I would be inclined to say that he's just sloppy and probably would have left them there to be cleaned later even if you weren't around to pick up after him. But, you also said he expects you to prepare his meals (even though you don't eat the same foods) and that it has to be ready to go when he comes home. So, it sounds like his expectations are a little off from yours. Just sit down and have a conversation about what he expects and what your are willing to do. Are you working and paying a portion of the rent? If so, he should definitely be helping out with the cooking/cleaning. If not, perhaps this is how he sees your contribution to the household. Ultimately you just need to talk and figure out if you can accommodate each other.

19kat55

Sounds like he wants a mother instead of a GF. He can only do this to you if you let him. My advice, nip it in the bud and let him know you will not allow him to take advantage of your good nature!

fox5659

No. Every man is not like that and your question is childish.

You are being a doormat and he is absolutely taking advantage of you. If you were my kid I would definitely smack you in the back of the head and tell you to wake up.

JeepBaja

It's a tradeoff... there are things I don't like to do such as dishes and cleaning the bathroom, even though I do. Often the better half has to say so because I just don't think about it but I'd say it is 75/25 on who does these two chores.

On the flip side, I do things that the better half doesn't like to do such as laundry, anything in the house that needs repair and I hate anything gardening and such but she loves everything about it as long as she doesn't have to do any of it herself so we compromise and just pay someone to do the work...

She won't put gas in her own car or wash it either! Man, are most women like this to live with????

jilltaylor86

It sounds like your bf is kind of a jerk, honestly. I do the dishes, laundry, cooking in my household but my boyfriend also does his fair share of chores and also doesn't mind helping out with his own dirty dishes. Just tell him how you feel, and if it doesn't work, stop doing anything for him. Let him wash his own dishes and tell him you'll eat where you want since you do the cleaning anways.

Glowbee

Let him go. Find someone who respects you and has the same ideas of cleanliness and self worth that you do. He's a waste of your time.. relationships are about mutual understandings in day to day decisions. Find someone who you communicate well with, and treats you like a best friend. LIfe is too short for anything less. I'm sorry and good luck

beccci91

I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I'm just wondering if I'm being taken advantage of or if all guys are like this?

My boyfriend NEVER washes up his dishes which really annoys me because he has friend eggs and bacon every morning for breakfast. I just think he could at least clean his pans and plates and cups once as a sign of respect rather than leaving than for me. I also have cereal every morning which he knows that I don't use a pan...I just have one bowl.

He also just expects I'm going to make his dinner every night which is a pain for me because I'm a vegetarian and he's not so I have to make separate meals. He often doesn't finish until late so I have to make sure his meal is ready and hot by the time he gets home. I hate to sound like I'm ranting and being selfish but it's getting to the point where I don't want to do it anymore and I resent him for it sometimes. It's things too like making his bed which he just expects I'll do every morning and then it's funny because sometimes I'll leave a couple of crumbs on his couch and he'll say 'You can't eat breakfast on the couch, it has to be at the table...you're too messy' and then I'll look in the sink and there's a bazillion plates and cups there again :I

I'm just wondering if it's me being picky or if there really is a problem here?

Has he moved right out of home? Did his mum do everything for him? Even if he hasn't just moved out of his parents his mum could still have done everything for him.

I have lived with my boyfriend for 3 years and he hasn't ever been like that thankfully. I suggest talking CALMLY about it with him and setting up a chores rota.

sculley

I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I'm just wondering if I'm being taken advantage of or if all guys are like this?

My boyfriend NEVER washes up his dishes which really annoys me because he has friend eggs and bacon every morning for breakfast. I just think he could at least clean his pans and plates and cups once as a sign of respect rather than leaving than for me. I also have cereal every morning which he knows that I don't use a pan...I just have one bowl.

He also just expects I'm going to make his dinner every night which is a pain for me because I'm a vegetarian and he's not so I have to make separate meals. He often doesn't finish until late so I have to make sure his meal is ready and hot by the time he gets home. I hate to sound like I'm ranting and being selfish but it's getting to the point where I don't want to do it anymore and I resent him for it sometimes. It's things too like making his bed which he just expects I'll do every morning and then it's funny because sometimes I'll leave a couple of crumbs on his couch and he'll say 'You can't eat breakfast on the couch, it has to be at the table...you're too messy' and then I'll look in the sink and there's a bazillion plates and cups there again :I

I'm just wondering if it's me being picky or if there really is a problem here?

Most guys are like this in my opinion. Have you tried to talk to him about that, I would resent my husband too if he told me about the crumbs I left but then leaves a mess for me.

daffodilsoup

Before you moved in, did you discuss who would have what responsibilities, what was expected of each person, etc?

If not, now would be a good time to have that talk.

bethgames

Oh honey. Stop now. Just stop. Dont do it. Would you do it for a roommate? Dont mother your SO. He can and will care for himself. If he is too messy for you, then tell him he has to pick up after himself. If he wont, then either live with it or find someone neater. Mine tried to be like this for a LONG time. We argued and whatnot. Then he became disabled, and now he has to be the stay at home dad while I earn the big bucks.....he sure is learning now. He even wishes he had tried harder all those years. And he sees why I could not and would ot be his nanny. He sure doesnt want to be mine. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

mrmanmeat

Your choices:

1. Hope that he changes (he probably won't).
2. Accept things the way they are.
3. Move out and don't resign to being his maid for the rest of your life.

You forgot the most logical response: Talk to him.

Meaganandcheese

Have you talked about your frustrations?

Everyone brings their own set of expectations into living together. It's really easy to assume that your partner knows what you're thinking or that those things bother you, but unless you sit down and really hash it out, it's impossible for those expectations to be met. Who's to say you're not doing something that's making him crazy too?

VanessaGS

Me and my boyfriend live separate, but when he got his own home he expected me to do the dishes and the laundry and the cleaning. I didn't even live there, but now out of the kindness of my heart I do those things for him. I guess it's just a new routine you have to get used to. The only difference is now he appreciates it and now he helps me out. He'll often start his own laundry and he'll clean the rooms in good detail. It's just something everyone has to get used to. Just keep open communication with him and tell him that he needs to help you transition because you are his girlfriend and not his maid. Trust me you will fight in the beginning until it becomes more routine for both of ya'll.

ron2282

Have you told him that acting like that bothers you? Unless you have, he more than likely has no idea so he’ll continue to do so unless you tell him it upsets you.

If my husband acted like that he’d be out on his a**. So to answer your question….no.

taunto

Its a mix answer. I'm a single guy who've been living on his own for a very very long time. My house is never "girl clean". At most it would be "guy clean". If you don't know what that means then allow me to elaborate. Things might be put in order. Floor is vacumed. The furniture is dusted but there are these corners and little tiny things that you can easily tell looking at that a guy lived here alone. We (or atleast most of us) can't help it. We cannot keep the place cleaned like a woman can't no matter how hard we try and some of us DO try to keep it clean because we know it'll keep you happy but we almost always fail.

HOWEVER, the cooking thing is a no go in my opinion. You either cook together or take turns on cooking. Don't know how to cook? Well start learning from the other or helping her out. No excuse to not give a helping hand.

GrnEydGrl86

I love being a domestic goddess!!!!! :drinker:

beccci91

Let him go. Find someone who respects you and has the same ideas of cleanliness and self worth that you do. He's a waste of your time.. relationships are about mutual understandings in day to day decisions. Find someone who you communicate well with, and treats you like a best friend. LIfe is too short for anything less. I'm sorry and good luck

SERIOUSLY?? Breaking up over a couple of dirty dishes? For christ sake, get a grip!!