Are most men like this to live with??

Perfectdiamonds1

LOL. Ok, while reading the for few sentences, I'm thinking to myself "why is she still there". I know I am older than you are, but honey are you planning on marrying him. Dont be the mother please. As for me, cause I know everyone can put up with different things from men, but I would not have let it got this far. I would have left a long while ago. Love yourself and dont let him use you like a garden tool.

ElizabethRoad

He also just expects I'm going to make his dinner every night which is a pain for me because I'm a vegetarian and he's not so I have to make separate meals.

No you don't.

He often doesn't finish until late so I have to make sure his meal is ready and hot by the time he gets home.

No you don't.

he'll say 'You can't eat breakfast on the couch, it has to be at the table...you're too messy' and then I'll look in the sink and there's a bazillion plates and cups there again :I

Who put him in charge? Why are you doing all these things for him? Of course he's going to take advantage of you if you keep letting him.

daffodilsoup

He's smart. He's setting up the relationship the right way early on.

That's part of why you have a girlfriend. If they don't do that stuff, what's the point?

Also, OP - if you are the one making dinner, then you don't have to cook separate meals. If BF Doesn't like what you're making, kindly point him in the direction of the peanut butter & jelly.

Sp1nGoddess

You have to start training him immediately! Reward him for good behavior, accept or discuss the bad.

Perfectdiamonds1

Also, men know how to behave, it just what we let them get away with. Thank you.

amysj303

making his bed??? do you have separate beds??

stop babying him..hes a grown man...set the record straight NOW or he will expect you to do this FOREVER!!!!

We actually do have separate beds which I find quite weird! I never thought at the age of 26 that my bf and I would sleep in different beds. We have an arrangement happening where he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor. He expects me to make his bed which I resent a bit I must say when I have to make it and then make my own small single mattress...
The thing is we're not financially equal, I don't pay rent at the moment because I've moved here from overseas and I'm looking for full time work (which im looking forward to to get me out of the house and meeting people).

Is this true? This sounds crazy to me. Why are your sleeping on the floor?!

Lula16

NO! NOT every guy is like that! I have a great husband who cleans up after himself. If I make dinner, he takes care of dishes. he does his own laundry and helps out around the house. I dont take advantage of him. He knows that between us, we have 5 kids (2 from my previous marriage and 3 are his from previous marriage) so he knows there is always work to do.

I say talk it over with him and tell him what you expect from him so you can come to an agreement somewhere in the middle before you start resenting him. good luck!

Vince_1964

To answer your original question, No, not all guys are like this. If you haven't communicated these issues wiht him, you need to. If you have, and he chooses not to do what you're asking, then don;t expect to be able to change him.

pudadough

This is a study in why I'll never shack up with anyone. He has the benefits of a wife without the bother of commitment.

But then, I'd never deal with that crap from a husband either. He wants dinner, he makes it. He makes a mess, he cleans it up. i'll do the same. Period, end of discussion.

Tell him to get with the program or take a hike.

_TWLOHA_

Sounds about right. Have you talked to him about it? You don't have to be naggy or *****y to him just nicely say you'd appreciate it if he would clean up after him self. Are you a stay at home girl friend or do you work. Personally I believe if your a stay at home it's your job to keep the house nice. If you both work then he can help you around the house. If you really don't like cleaning up after him then just don't do it. Let the mess pile up until he does something. You don't have to cook him dinner every night, i'm sure he is capable of cooking him self. I like to cook so I always do the cooking here.

stacygayle

I would tell him the things that bother you. It won't make him do anything though so if you don't want to live like that, move out now. My husband is the same way. He thinks that because he works more hours and makes more money than I do, that the house is all up to me. funny thing was, I used to work more and make more money and he still expected me to do it all. It's a man thing, so if you don't stop it now, it will always be that way.

grimm1974

I find it a bit crazy that so many are quick with the 'dump him' opinion. If you haven't discussed it yet then do so. He likely grew up in a household where his mother did all those duties. He probably sees that as the norm. Unless you discuss it, he will continue to do so. Maybe he is the type who is willing to change and maybe he isn't. No one on here knows better than you. But no, not all his are like that.

gwduker

No ALL guys, at least not THIS guy. I'm not a neat freak but there is no reason for dishes to be sitting around. Put them in the dishwasher, or just wash them. Same with clothes, in the drawers or in the hamper, NOT the floor, couch, or kitchen table.

I am on my third marriage, and have had other long term relationships. I have the same deal now as I did with all my other exes, whoever cooks doesn't do dishes. I like to cook more than I like to do dishes, so I cook as often as I can, BUT, I am a neat cook. I clean as I go, not just leaving crap lay around making a mess.

I have ALWAYS helped with the laundry. My first wife would ***** at me I didn't fold her clothes right. Hence being an ex.

The way I look at it, the less house work there is, the more time there is for play....if ya know what I mean!!

LilGiselle21

Talk and figure it out. My bf has OCD so after we moved in together it was hell. My favorite line now is if you don't like you take care of it. Make sure you clean up after yourself at least so he cant complain. My bf did expect me to do everything even with 3 kids and we both worked full time. He actually left one time for a month because he was "fed up with my filthy ness" I can do this by myself he would come by occasionally to visit the kids And saw in those 4 weeks that I can handle my mess and the kids it's was cleaning up after him that I wouldn't get things done. Hence he came back and helps out around the house.

Ravenesque_

you are his gf, not a doormat.

Don't let him take you for granted!!!

mtaylor33557

Did he just leave the dishes to pile up in the sink before you moved in?

If so, he's probably just messy and a little lazy. If not, then he's probably taking advantage of you and trying to see what he can get away with.


Also, does he "demand" that you make his dinner, or do you just do it? If you just took over and started doing it, he may think you actually like to do that.. just let him know how you feel.

infamousmk

Moving in together is rough. You're going to have to establish routines together and figure out what works for both of you. This is where that whole 'communication' thing comes in.

MissMaggie3

Happily, no, they are not all like that. My partner is actually better than me at clearing up - your situation would drive me crazy. I agree with all the people who advise communication though - resentment can fester and end up damaging you.

LuckyLeprechaun

he has his comfy new double mattress and I have a single mattress on the floor.

WHOA.

Hold the presses.

I was trying to be nice and tell you to communicate with him, but this is INSANITY.

Get out. NOW.

batgirl8809

NO not all men are like this. My husband always (happily) helps out with cooking and cleaning. Be his partner not his mother! He is definitely taking advantage.