Looking for Feminist Friends

1246715

Replies

  • I've seen a certain amount of hating on certain body types, but it comes as much from women as men IMO.

    do you ever wonder why women hate each other so much? seriously, think about you're saying here. i'm not here to judge or attack you, but really, you've got to think more deeply.

    answer: patriarchal/anti-feminist self-hatred is imposed on girls as soon as we are able to even understand the (socially constructed) concept of gender. if that's too complicated, think of it this way: we are trained to hate each other because society favors men and having women turn against one another is a powerful strategy employed by patriarchal social institutions.

    Lady...you give my whole gender WAY too much credit.

    was starting your response by calling me "lady" intentional irony? or am i giving you too much credit again?

    Actually, it was the most polite term that sprang to mind within a reasonable time frame for an intelligent woman whom I might otherwise respect, if it wasn't for the completely moronic theory she just put forth.

    So yes, you probably gave me a bit too much credit.

    thought so.

    He'd respect you, little lady, if only you weren't such a feminist! Proof that feminism ruins everything.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    word.

    double word.

    okay I guess I wasn't quite ready to leave... I'm trying so hard not to get sucked in though lol
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Then stop treating us all as if we're wrong, just because we're not of your gender, and don't bow down to your belief system.

    Seems pretty easy to me.
  • TiffanyDeanee
    TiffanyDeanee Posts: 158
    My refresh button is getting pissed at me. Now this is one of those times I wish MFP had automatic comment updates.

    Any who, do continue with the debate ladies and gentlemen.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.

    Okay... "Men would much rather...". That's just playing in to patriarchal beauty standards. All bodies are good bodies. Fat, thin, and in between.
    And seriously, blaming stuff on gay men also comes off as kind of homophobic.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    My refresh button is getting pissed at me. Now this is one of those times I wish MFP had automatic comment updates.

    Any who, do continue with the debate ladies and gentlemen.

    Right? :laugh:

    I do wish I'd stop getting sucked into threads in the wee hours of the morning lol
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.

    Please don't be offended (I don't think you will), but I could kiss you for that.

    THAT, is what I believe in as 'feminism'.
  • led6777
    led6777 Posts: 268
    "it" being what?

    Ahh, now begins the 'lets talk in circles until nothing that is said could possibly make sense due to the covoluted nature of my argument!' portion of our program.

    I'll bite though. 'It' being plot and plan against the opposite gender. You know...the one most of us work our entire lives trying to comprehend...much less change.

    my goal is definitely not to talk in circles. quite the opposite, in fact. i just needed clarification because your response was... how should i put it... inarticulate.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.

    Please don't be offended (I don't think you will), but I could kiss you for that.

    THAT, is what I believe in as 'feminism'.

    Great, because I'm here to tell you that's NOT what feminism is.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    I completely agree with you - not that you seem to want to hear it.

    My point is simply that there are a number of groups that are discriminated against in some way or another, and clinging onto a misunderstood and somewhat antiquated term such as feminism is counterproductive. It is (like it or not) associated with bra burning and men bashing.

    Call yourself an equalist, a human, something that promotes equality for all, not just women, and you will have infinitely more respect from me and many others.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.

    Okay... "Men would much rather...". That's just playing in to patriarchal beauty standards. All bodies are good bodies. Fat, thin, and in between.
    And seriously, blaming stuff on gay men also comes off as kind of homophobic.

    SHE'S A LESBIAN!!!

    And second, you're 100% wrong, not ALL bodies are good, unhealthy bodies, when they can be healthy bodies...are bad.

    Just setting you straight...which I'm sure will piss you off to no end.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.

    Please don't be offended (I don't think you will), but I could kiss you for that.

    THAT, is what I believe in as 'feminism'.

    Great, because I'm here to tell you that's NOT what feminism is.

    Exactly, she's WAY too open minded.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    I love men, but I don't think they're that smart :laugh:

    (No offense, y'all)
    No offence taken, we're not that smart!


    If men aren't THAT Smart, then why do women GIVE them Power...So REALLY who's ZOOMING Who?
  • led6777
    led6777 Posts: 268
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

    how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Then stop treating us all as if we're wrong, just because we're not of your gender, and don't bow down to your belief system.

    Seems pretty easy to me.

    who is treating you that way?

    feminism =/= misandry

    i am disgusted by misandry as much as I am by misogyny
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    I completely agree with you - not that you seem to want to hear it.

    My point is simply that there are a number of groups that are discriminated against in some way or another, and clinging onto a misunderstood and somewhat antiquated term such as feminism is counterproductive. It is (like it or not) associated with bra burning and men bashing.

    Call yourself an equalist, a human, something that promotes equality for all, not just women, and you will have infinitely more respect from me and many others.

    I can get behind this ^_^
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I've been a member of MFP since December 2011 and have had a pretty mixed experience. I have made some great friends here, but when I come to the message boards I often get discouraged. I see a lot of jokes about sexual and domestic violence, anti-gay comments, comments objectifying women, etc. It's pretty discouraging.

    I'm looking for some feminist/progressive friends on MFP! I'm always thinking about how to balance my weight loss goals with a feminist rejection of fat hatred and body shaming. It's hard to want a thin body while rejecting patriarchal standards of beauty - it's a daily struggle for me.

    I'd love to find some friends and create a community where we can motivate, follow, and support each other while holding ourselves and each other accountable as feminists!


    I guess I'm a "Feminist", I'm definitely a Lesbian, but I sure don't believe in the BIG Beautiful Movement! Rejecting "patriarchal" standards of beauty is cool if there is such a standard...Men would MUCH rather a woman with "a bit of flesh" rather than a bone, history shows us that. ACTUALLY, Gay men have set the standard for female beauty and style for the last 50 years!!! Remember, it began with Twiggy...Straight men really Love Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell types. But Gay men run the fashion Industry and they were coming into their own relative to power, so they designed for what THEY like, Flat chested, no hip women that look like 14 year old boys>>>hence Twiggy and what we see now!

    So I'm all for progress, but I'm all for Truth, feminist or not.

    Okay... "Men would much rather...". That's just playing in to patriarchal beauty standards. All bodies are good bodies. Fat, thin, and in between.
    And seriously, blaming stuff on gay men also comes off as kind of homophobic.

    SHE'S A LESBIAN!!!

    And second, you're 100% wrong, not ALL bodies are good, unhealthy bodies, when they can be healthy bodies...are bad.

    Just setting you straight...which I'm sure will piss you off to no end.

    You can do homophobic things while still being gay. Just like there's internalized misogyny, there's internalized homophobia.

    Unhealthy bodies are still inherently valuable and good. Should people with chronic illnesses be shamed for their unhealthy bodies too?
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

    how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?

    Maybe they don't do it as well.

    Am I going to have to unfriend you? :/
  • led6777
    led6777 Posts: 268
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

    how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?

    Maybe they don't do it as well.

    lol. this is a joke, right?
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    SHE'S A LESBIAN!!!

    And second, you're 100% wrong, not ALL bodies are good, unhealthy bodies, when they can be healthy bodies...are bad.

    Just setting you straight...which I'm sure will piss you off to no end.

    You can do homophobic things while still being gay. Just like there's internalized misogyny, there's internalized homophobia.

    Unhealthy bodies are still inherently valuable and good. Should people with chronic illnesses be shamed for their unhealthy bodies too?

    Reread what I wrote, then get back to me...because you clearly didn't pay much attention.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member

    how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?
    They do in my office. And I will fight tooth and nail to ensure equal rights and no form of discrimination happens while I'm here.
  • blnorman29
    blnorman29 Posts: 148 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

    Do you have the right to equal pay for equal work? Do you have the right to maternity/paternity leave? Do you have the right to choose how you use your reproductive system? Do you have the right to adopt if your partner is also a woman? Again, the focus of feminism is not on men, it's on a system that is uneven. Patriarchy doesn't just hurt women, it hurts everyone.
  • led6777
    led6777 Posts: 268

    how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?
    They do in my office. And I will fight tooth and nail to ensure equal rights and no form of discrimination happens while I'm here.

    probably because you're not in the USA. consider yourself lucky.
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
    "Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions.. for safety on the streets... for child care, for social welfare...for rape crisis centers, women's refuges, reforms in the law." (If someone says) 'Oh, I'm not a feminist,' (I ask) 'Why? What's your problem?'" - Dale Spender, author of For the Record: The Making & Meaning of Feminist Knowledge, 1985

    Is this quite accurate, though?

    I think this quote adequately describes what feminism has done to American society and the opinion of women who stay at home in this day and age:

    "Of course, much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else's and not your own. " Mrs. Dorothy Patterson

    Simone de Beauvoir, a French Feminist said:

    "No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have the choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.

    And American critic and memoirist Vivian Gornick said:

    Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession... The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn't be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that."

    It seems to me the war feminists have waged is on family. It may have had some use when it first began but what good is it doing now? Statistically, our kids are running amok because there is never anyone home-everyone is out at work. Gang membership is rising, crime is getting worse, drop out rates are rising-and when I show up at my kids' school I hardly ever see other parents there-they are all at work.

    I'm not bashing anyone who legitimately has to work to support their family, I know those circumstances happen-but I personally believe the rise in teenage trouble-and the higher prison population, has a direct correlation to the fact that nobody is at home raising their children...back in the day, our mothers were home, they were there for us-they didn't have to schedule us in between meetings and other commitments-family was sacred. Nowadays the government feels the need to pass more and more laws that should have been left to the parent-but too many parents aren't doing their jobs properly so the government feels it has to step in and parent our children as well. As one of the few SAHMs in my neighborhood it saddens me how many children/teens come to me with their problems because their parents are constantly unavailable. Often, people would rather have a good income, large house, fancy cars and electronic gadgets-and they sacrifice time with family to work long hours and attain those things. I really feel that if more families decided to sacrifice keeping up with the Joneses, make a few budget cuts, and make family a priority again, things would change. It would take time, but it would be a good thing.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member

    how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?
    They do in my office. And I will fight tooth and nail to ensure equal rights and no form of discrimination happens while I'm here.

    One instance of equality does not cancel out the whole system of oppression.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

    I completely agree with you - not that you seem to want to hear it.

    My point is simply that there are a number of groups that are discriminated against in some way or another, and clinging onto a misunderstood and somewhat antiquated term such as feminism is counterproductive. It is (like it or not) associated with bra burning and men bashing.

    Call yourself an equalist, a human, something that promotes equality for all, not just women, and you will have infinitely more respect from me and many others.

    A feminist can also be a humanist &/or an equalist. They all have their own definitions.
    But feminism is distinct because it focuses on the problem of misogyny.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    "Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions.. for safety on the streets... for child care, for social welfare...for rape crisis centers, women's refuges, reforms in the law." (If someone says) 'Oh, I'm not a feminist,' (I ask) 'Why? What's your problem?'" - Dale Spender, author of For the Record: The Making & Meaning of Feminist Knowledge, 1985

    Is this quite accurate, though?

    I think this quote adequately describes what feminism has done to American society and the opinion of women who stay at home in this day and age:

    "Of course, much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else's and not your own. " Mrs. Dorothy Patterson

    Simone de Beauvoir, a French Feminist said:

    "No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have the choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.

    And American critic and memoirist Vivian Gornick said:

    Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession... The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn't be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that."

    It seems to me the war feminists have waged is on family. It may have had some use when it first began but what good is it doing now? Statistically, our kids are running amok because there is never anyone home-everyone is out at work. Gang membership is rising, crime is getting worse, drop out rates are rising-and when I show up at my kids' school I hardly ever see other parents there-they are all at work.

    I'm not bashing anyone who legitimately has to work to support their family, I know those circumstances happen-but I personally believe the rise in teenage trouble-and the higher prison population, has a direct correlation to the fact that nobody is at home raising their children...back in the day, our mothers were home, they were there for us-they didn't have to schedule us in between meetings and other commitments-family was sacred. Nowadays the government feels the need to pass more and more laws that should have been left to the parent-but too many parents aren't doing their jobs properly so the government feels it has to step in and parent our children as well. As one of the few SAHMs in my neighborhood it saddens me how many children/teens come to me with their problems because their parents are constantly unavailable. Often, people would rather have a good income, large house, fancy cars and electronic gadgets-and they sacrifice time with family to work long hours and attain those things. I really feel that if more families decided to sacrifice keeping up with the Joneses, make a few budget cuts, and make family a priority again, things would change. It would take time, but it would be a good thing.

    I believe third-wave feminism focuses on the importance of choice in the matter.
  • Thesis_gut
    Thesis_gut Posts: 56 Member
    bump
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