Looking for Feminist Friends

Mctree20

Different people ask for different types of friends on these boards all the time, why is this different? Progressive/liberals, conservatives, Christians, atheists, Muslims, sports fans, parents, moms, dads etc. They’re not asking for you (general you) or anyone else to berate them or troll the crap out of their thread because their title threatens you.

All of this trolling is beyond silly. If you guys are that threatened by feminism I suggest you get a hobby.

QFT, Live and let live.

numberscolors

I am not sure why ALL Women don't call themselves feminists.

Me too:) even my husband calls himself a feminist...

exactly!

same here! i feel sad for women (and men) who feel that identifying as a feminist is somehow negative. my quality of life is much greater as a direct result of the feminist household i was raised in and for the feminists before me who helped pave the way.

iceqieen

I'm not bashing anyone who legitimately has to work to support their family, I know those circumstances happen-but I personally believe the rise in teenage trouble-and the higher prison population, has a direct correlation to the fact that nobody is at home raising their children...back in the day, our mothers were home, they were there for us-they didn't have to schedule us in between meetings and other commitments-family was sacred. Nowadays the government feels the need to pass more and more laws that should have been left to the parent-but too many parents aren't doing their jobs properly so the government feels it has to step in and parent our children as well. As one of the few SAHMs in my neighborhood it saddens me how many children/teens come to me with their problems because their parents are constantly unavailable. Often, people would rather have a good income, large house, fancy cars and electronic gadgets-and they sacrifice time with family to work long hours and attain those things. I really feel that if more families decided to sacrifice keeping up with the Joneses, make a few budget cuts, and make family a priority again, things would change. It would take time, but it would be a good thing.

blame capitalism and industrialism for this, not feminism

focus4fitness

"Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions.. for safety on the streets... for child care, for social welfare...for rape crisis centers, women's refuges, reforms in the law." (If someone says) 'Oh, I'm not a feminist,' (I ask) 'Why? What's your problem?'" - Dale Spender, author of For the Record: The Making & Meaning of Feminist Knowledge, 1985

Is this quite accurate, though?

I think this quote adequately describes what feminism has done to American society and the opinion of women who stay at home in this day and age:

"Of course, much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else's and not your own. " Mrs. Dorothy Patterson

Simone de Beauvoir, a French Feminist said:

"No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have the choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.

And American critic and memoirist Vivian Gornick said:

Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession... The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn't be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that."

It seems to me the war feminists have waged is on family. It may have had some use when it first began but what good is it doing now? Statistically, our kids are running amok because there is never anyone home-everyone is out at work. Gang membership is rising, crime is getting worse, drop out rates are rising-and when I show up at my kids' school I hardly ever see other parents there-they are all at work.

I'm not bashing anyone who legitimately has to work to support their family, I know those circumstances happen-but I personally believe the rise in teenage trouble-and the higher prison population, has a direct correlation to the fact that nobody is at home raising their children...back in the day, our mothers were home, they were there for us-they didn't have to schedule us in between meetings and other commitments-family was sacred. Nowadays the government feels the need to pass more and more laws that should have been left to the parent-but too many parents aren't doing their jobs properly so the government feels it has to step in and parent our children as well. As one of the few SAHMs in my neighborhood it saddens me how many children/teens come to me with their problems because their parents are constantly unavailable. Often, people would rather have a good income, large house, fancy cars and electronic gadgets-and they sacrifice time with family to work long hours and attain those things. I really feel that if more families decided to sacrifice keeping up with the Joneses, make a few budget cuts, and make family a priority again, things would change. It would take time, but it would be a good thing.

first of all, I am a stay at home mother and I know many women, feminist women who stay at home to raise their families for a variety of reasons. I think you should be reminded that women were in the work force long before babes were burning their bra’s. Its peoples choice to work or stay at home. If they do decide to work, they should be paid a fair wage, they should have rights like not being sexually intimidated or assaulted on the job, maternity leave, this is where feminism steps in. Feminism didn’t bring you women in the workforce, industry did. Feminism just tried to level the playing field.

justaspringhaze

Different people ask for different types of friends on these boards all the time, why is this different? Progressive/liberals, conservatives, Christians, atheists, Muslims, sports fans, parents, moms, dads etc. They’re not asking for you (general you) or anyone else to berate them or troll the crap out of their thread because their title threatens you.

All of this trolling is beyond silly. If you guys are that threatened by feminism I suggest you get a hobby.

Thank you! This is all getting ridiculous.

LilRedRooster

Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?

Or the fact that men can be covered under just about any insurance plan for Viagra, but women have to fight like dogs to get birth control access? Men essentially get a free clearance to have sex, even when their bodies aren't diggin' it, but the only thing women are supposed to do in terms of sex is close their legs until they're trying for some offspring.

The fact that the federal government SHUT DOWN over funding for Planned Parenthood is ridiculous. The fate of womens' choices in terms of affordable healthcare options is in the hands of all-male committees who don't have the ability to become pregnant, which skews their opinions completely.

Because c'mon, if the men in Congress could get pregnant, birth control would be free, and available in drive-thru option with a free cheeseburger.

People claim feminists are outdated.. Look at the increasing number of bills pushing laws on women that limit ther choices in healthcare for their own bodies. The only thing that is outdated is the control that others have over a woman when she hasn't any options; get her pregnant, and take away her ability to prevent future pregnancies, and you've got a woman under your thumb for life.

Umeboshi

I am not sure why ALL Women don't call themselves feminists.

Me too:) even my husband calls himself a feminist...

exactly!

same here! i feel sad for women (and men) who feel that identifying as a feminist is somehow negative. my quality of life is much greater as a direct result of the feminist household i was raised in and for the feminists before me who helped pave the way.

This.

abberbabber

Again for those still reading and willing to listen, patriarchy isn't a conspiracy theory where men sit in a room and devise ways to oppress women. Patriarchy is a system that through history has given advantages or privileges to those who haven't necessarily earned it, in this case usually men and generally those who are white and straight. Think of it more as a leaning in one's favor kind of system. There is a built in favoritism towards men in our society, and in most societies. It doesn't make all men right or wrong. It just means our system is unequal, and feminism acknowledges this and strives to correct the imbalance. We aren't trying to take away men's rights, we're trying to give more rights to those who don't have them.

Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

Do you have the right to equal pay for equal work? Do you have the right to maternity/paternity leave? Do you have the right to choose how you use your reproductive system? Do you have the right to adopt if your partner is also a woman? Again, the focus of feminism is not on men, it's on a system that is uneven. Patriarchy doesn't just hurt women, it hurts everyone.

I'm not sure we're both using "right" in the same sense. Do I have the right to not be discriminated against based on what's between my legs? To an extent, yes. In the workplace, certainly. And there are laws, to my understanding, to help enforce that right.

What you're describing just sounds like an out and out fight for equality, which I can get behind. But, like Rayman said, "feminism" seems an odd and outdated term for that fight.

crisanderson27

Sorry, either the MFP server crashed, or my internet simply wouldn't allow me to connect.

If you go back through, and read all of these posts made by these self proclaimed feminists...you'll see that my point has been made. The fact that your thread is still in place speaks volumes about the rights you DO have (I stand by my statement that if I had made a post begging for friends of the opposite opinion...it would be shut down NOW...this has happened, a young woman posted a thread seeking the opinion of anti-feminists, and she was straight overrun with feminists bashing her and her ideals...and Miss Umeboshi was a part of it). Note, I didn't say equal rights...because we, as the 'majority'...don't have the right to speak without fear of repercussion.

Again, reread the posts...pretend they're about baseball...or if that's too 'masculine' for you, women's softball...or if that's too 'patriarchal' for you (I mean, we put them out there in those tight pants for a reason, right?), pretend it's about botany. Reread what was written, and you can blatantly see the blind activism, the narrow mindedness, the refusal to accept anothers point of view, in the 'feminist' side of the argument.

Ask any reasonable, modern man or woman (this would be the majority by the way), what a woman's place in soceity is...and though you may get a joke or two, the core answer will be 'any place she wants'. If you people are too narrow minded to figure that out, I'm very sorry for you.

Have a good night.

focus4fitness

Ok...so what right's don't we, as women, have? I can't think of a single thing that men are allowed to do that I'm not. Maybe certain people have prejudices against women, but that's not the same thing as us not having certain rights.

how about the fact that women who hold the exact same jobs as men don't get paid as much as their male counterparts?

Or the fact that men can be covered under just about any insurance plan for Viagra, but women have to fight like dogs to get birth control access? Men essentially get a free clearance to have sex, even when their bodies aren't diggin' it, but the only thing women are supposed to do in terms of sex is close their legs until they're trying for some offspring.

The fact that the federal government SHUT DOWN over funding for Planned Parenthood is ridiculous. The fate of womens' choices in terms of affordable healthcare options is in the hands of all-male committees who don't have the ability to become pregnant, which skews their opinions completely.

Because c'mon, if the men in Congress could get pregnant, birth control would be free, and available in drive-thru option with a free cheeseburger.

People claim feminists are outdated.. Look at the increasing number of bills pushing laws on women that limit ther choices in healthcare for their own bodies. The only thing that is outdated is the control that others have over a woman when she hasn't any options; get her pregnant, and take away her ability to prevent future pregnancies, and you've got a woman under your thumb for life.

Love this!

Jonahyona

I'm a male feminist! Can't stand men who objectify women.

EDesq

"Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions.. for safety on the streets... for child care, for social welfare...for rape crisis centers, women's refuges, reforms in the law." (If someone says) 'Oh, I'm not a feminist,' (I ask) 'Why? What's your problem?'" - Dale Spender, author of For the Record: The Making & Meaning of Feminist Knowledge, 1985

I like this...Shows that it takes ALL Types in the VILLAGE f or it to Function Properly. For what is a Village if ALL of its Citizens can not Vote or Be Educated to their Capacity...OR have those Willing to lay down THEIR Lives to ensure that OTHERS have that Right or Deliver the Weaker from tyranny and Injustice. Basically, You gotta give some to get some...You can build all the schools you want to, but when the big bad wolf comes to the door to take a seat somebody better be willing to give him a beat-down when he starts acting like a Wolf! Heaven is Heaven and Earth is Earth, and there is NO Heaven on Earth...It's a Balancing Act.

CoryIda

Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!








Don't pick me.

I love men. A lot. I think they're pretty damn awesome.

I also like when they open doors for me and make me feel safe. Oh, and even though I'm perfectly capable of messing with plumbing problems, I would much prefer to have a man do it for me.

TheFunBun

It's the downside of privilege. Our generation doesn't understand civil rights issues like the ones before us. It's really kind of painful.

I'm more of an international feminist, my current concerns are with violence against women. I believe we're on the upstroke in the US and we'll be doing fine very soon.. I just worry about other countries. I think gender roles in the US are slowly but surely becoming more loose- body pride seems to be more common too. In fact, when I despair on gender roles, it's usually the limitations we put on our boy children. It seems because of the focus of the last generation of feminism we have so much more freedom in our roles, whereas men are still pidgeonholed.

Anyways. I can't stand bodyshaming. I'm not a big fan of kitchen jokes- I just think they're crass (sorry), but I also think castration jokes are ridiculous as well. I also think it was rude to butt into this thread with nothing but disparaging comments about feminism... it does seem to be fear-based, though, so I totally get it, even if it's saddening.

ishallnotwant

Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!Ooooooh!!!!!








Don't pick me.

I love men. A lot. I think they're pretty damn awesome.

I also like when they open doors for me and make me feel safe. Oh, and even though I'm perfectly capable of messing with plumbing problems, I would much prefer to have a man do it for me.

I am totally with you! If you need me, i'll be in the kitchen cooking a great meal for my husband-a man I take great pleasure in showing respect and love to!

Umeboshi

Sorry, either the MFP server crashed, or my internet simply wouldn't allow me to connect.

If you go back through, and read all of these posts made by these self proclaimed feminists...you'll see that my point has been made. The fact that your thread is still in place speaks volumes about the rights you DO have (I stand by my statement that if I had made a post begging for friends of the opposite opinion...it would be shut down NOW...this has happened, a young woman posted a thread seeking the opinion of anti-feminists, and she was straight overrun with feminists bashing her and her ideals...and Miss Umeboshi was a part of it). Note, I didn't say equal rights...because we, as the 'majority'...don't have the right to speak without fear of repercussion.

Again, reread the posts...pretend they're about baseball...or if that's too 'masculine' for you, women's softball...or if that's too 'patriarchal' for you (I mean, we put them out there in those tight pants for a reason, right?), pretend it's about botany. Reread what was written, and you can blatantly see the blind activism, the narrow mindedness, the refusal to accept anothers point of view, in the 'feminist' side of the argument.

Ask any reasonable, modern man or woman (this would be the majority by the way), what a woman's place in soceity is...and though you may get a joke or two, the core answer will be 'any place she wants'. If you people are too narrow minded to figure that out, I'm very sorry for you.

Have a good night.

I love how the fact that we're allowed to speak our minds at all is somehow seen as this magnanimous concession to women's equality.
The 'joke or two' is misogyny. The fact that women are allowed outside the kitchen and to work does not negate the various other ways women are oppressed.
Educate yourself.

Rayman79

That's it. I've had enough.

I'm calling the League of Men and having this thread shut down. BTW - that 'site down for maintenance' message from earlier... that was us! :glasses:

Giggidy.

crisanderson27

The only thing that is outdated is the control that others have over a woman when she hasn't any options; get her pregnant, and take away her ability to prevent future pregnancies, and you've got a woman under your thumb for life.

Then don't spread your legs. Bam...ball's back in your court. YOU have the control.

jadeb94

Come on girls, loosen up a bit!
There's nothing wrong with having a bit of a joke! It's no different to a woman teasing about how only women can multitask. I have no problem with people poking fun, but when it gets serious, that's when I have a problem.

I have some feminist ideals, such as being independent and strong, and knowing when to stick up for yourself, but I also think it's important to know when something is a joke and realise that it is just harmless fun.

ishallnotwant

That's it. I've had enough.

I'm calling the League of Men and having this thread shut down. BTW - that 'site down for maintenance' message from earlier... that was us! :glasses:

Giggidy.

Oh no! Patriarchy rearing its ugly head again! :laugh: Stop trying to oppress us poor women, you evil men! :laugh:

ishallnotwant

The only thing that is outdated is the control that others have over a woman when she hasn't any options; get her pregnant, and take away her ability to prevent future pregnancies, and you've got a woman under your thumb for life.

Then don't spread your legs. Bam...ball's back in your court. YOU have the control.

I strongly agree with this statement.

Umeboshi

That's it. I've had enough.

I'm calling the League of Men and having this thread shut down. BTW - that 'site down for maintenance' message from earlier... that was us! :glasses:

Giggidy.

Oh no! Patriarchy rearing it's ugly head again! :laugh: Stop trying to oppress us poor women, you evil men! :laugh:

You might want to look up 'internalized misogyny'.

abberbabber

This whole thing makes my head spin :laugh:

As an American woman, I'm not oppressed in the least. Well...I lie. I married a man who met me at my weakest and attempted to pigeonhole me into his idea of what a proper wife should be. But, because I'm an American woman...I have the right to leave him without fear and with plenty of ways to provide for myself.

Is our society perfect? No, but I'm still not sold on the evil patriarchy thing, either.

heaterkj

Count me in too! Just finally getting to the point that I call myself a feminist! But I am proud of the label!

iceqieen

The only thing that is outdated is the control that others have over a woman when she hasn't any options; get her pregnant, and take away her ability to prevent future pregnancies, and you've got a woman under your thumb for life.

Then don't spread your legs. Bam...ball's back in your court. YOU have the control.

Well we WANT to spread our legs! :P Sex is fun for women too. Its just unfair that the childbearing has to be ours to worry about and not the mans.

Not in the US though - so if I want contraceptive pills or shots, I just go to my GP and tell him/her and it costs about as much as an asprin (last time I checked)

ishallnotwant

That's it. I've had enough.

I'm calling the League of Men and having this thread shut down. BTW - that 'site down for maintenance' message from earlier... that was us! :glasses:

Giggidy.

Oh no! Patriarchy rearing it's ugly head again! :laugh: Stop trying to oppress us poor women, you evil men! :laugh:

You might want to look up 'internalized misogyny'.

Oh, I don't have time for all that. I'd rather make my husband a nice meal and show him how much I love him...if you need me, i'll be in the kitchen. I rather enjoy being in my own home, serving my family. It's my job.

Rayman79

Geez, lighten up Umeboshi. I get that you are passionate about the topic, but that doesn't mean people are not allowed to attempt to diffuse a tense environment with humour.

I'm a MAN, its my right to do so! :laugh:

crisanderson27

Sorry, either the MFP server crashed, or my internet simply wouldn't allow me to connect.

If you go back through, and read all of these posts made by these self proclaimed feminists...you'll see that my point has been made. The fact that your thread is still in place speaks volumes about the rights you DO have (I stand by my statement that if I had made a post begging for friends of the opposite opinion...it would be shut down NOW...this has happened, a young woman posted a thread seeking the opinion of anti-feminists, and she was straight overrun with feminists bashing her and her ideals...and Miss Umeboshi was a part of it). Note, I didn't say equal rights...because we, as the 'majority'...don't have the right to speak without fear of repercussion.

Again, reread the posts...pretend they're about baseball...or if that's too 'masculine' for you, women's softball...or if that's too 'patriarchal' for you (I mean, we put them out there in those tight pants for a reason, right?), pretend it's about botany. Reread what was written, and you can blatantly see the blind activism, the narrow mindedness, the refusal to accept anothers point of view, in the 'feminist' side of the argument.

Ask any reasonable, modern man or woman (this would be the majority by the way), what a woman's place in soceity is...and though you may get a joke or two, the core answer will be 'any place she wants'. If you people are too narrow minded to figure that out, I'm very sorry for you.

Have a good night.

I love how the fact that we're allowed to speak our minds at all is somehow seen as this magnanimous concession to women's equality.
The 'joke or two' is misogyny. The fact that women are allowed outside the kitchen and to work does not negate the various other ways women are oppressed.
Educate yourself.

I'm far beyond educated little girl. A joke, is a joke. Just because you can't handle it doesn't mean it's a negative. Grow up, and stop pushing your ideals on others.

You didn't acknowledge your part in getting the other young ladies thread shut down, either...nicely played. She asked specifically for anti-feminist opinions...yet you felt the need to stick your nose in and BASH...not disagree, straight out insult and belittle her as well.

Also...the day you realize that the fact that you ARE allowed to speak your mind, and I am NOT allowed to speak mine without fear of being labled and belittled, is the first step you'll make towards having an opinion worth hearing.

Educate yourself.

ishallnotwant

Geez, lighten up Umeboshi. I get that you are passionate about the topic, but that doesn't mean people are not allowed to attempt to diffuse a tense environment with humour.

I'm a MAN, its my right to do so! :laugh:

Would you like a sammich? :laugh:

abberbabber

Mmmmm....sammiches.....