dating event bans fat people

EmCarroll1990

I would much prefer to date a heavy but intelligent man than an idiot. Being stupid is a choice. I don't respect people who aren't taking care of their minds. This includes those who are uneducated, think their opinion is fact for all, cannot form a proper sentence, or any other obvious lack of intellect. I certainly wouldn't want to date someone who cannot hold an intelligent conversation.

Okay, then maybe you can find your dates at an event that excludes people who can't hold an intelligent conversation.

I don't have to. I've been married for 19 years to a wonderful, amazing, attractive, intelligent man. He's put on quite a bit of weight during that time. Fortunately, I'm not a superficial @sshole who only wants to be with what's on the outside. I'm intelligent enough to know that what's on the inside matters even more. So those ugly, stupid people who have some warped superiority complex because they are thin can go enjoy their idiocracy.

Someone's been drinking the haterade.

Just because people are attracted to certain types doesn't make them "stupid people who have some warped superiority complex."

amymeenieminymo

I would much prefer to date a heavy but intelligent man than an idiot. Being stupid is a choice. I don't respect people who aren't taking care of their minds. This includes those who are uneducated, think their opinion is fact for all, cannot form a proper sentence, or any other obvious lack of intellect. I certainly wouldn't want to date someone who cannot hold an intelligent conversation.

Okay, then maybe you can find your dates at an event that excludes people who can't hold an intelligent conversation.

I don't have to. I've been married for 19 years to a wonderful, amazing, attractive, intelligent man. He's put on quite a bit of weight during that time. Fortunately, I'm not a superficial @sshole who only wants to be with what's on the outside. I'm intelligent enough to know that what's on the inside matters even more. So those ugly, stupid people who have some warped superiority complex because they are thin can go enjoy their idiocracy.

So what type of man(physically) is your husband? What are you attracted to? Why do you think it is fair to call someone a superficial @sshole because they are not attracted to a certain body size? Surely your husband does not look like every single man on earth....so surely there must be physical attributes that you DON'T find attractive....body hair, facial hair, blonde guys, tall guys etc? Why does having a personal preference make someone an @sshole?

kristina509

I don't think it's offensive.

Being overweight is a choice.

I don't respect people aren't taking care of their bodies, this includes by doing drugs or staying overweight or anything that is destructive, and I certainly wouldn't want to date someone who is.

So you automatically look at people and BOOM..."you're fat/you smoke/etc etc so I have no respect for you and I won't even give you the time of day"...without even talking to them first? Wow....and I won't even get into the fact that being overweight is not always a choice. That's like looking at an overweight person and assuming that they sit at home stuffing their face with big macs and twinkies.

It IS offensive to some, not to others. And that is how it's always going to be. Everyone has their own personal preference on what is attractive to them, there is no standard for "attractive". I agree that attraction is important in a relationship, but it shouldn't be entirely based on that fact. I know some really beautiful people who are complete idiots. I have also come across lots of people who wouldn't give me the time of day to even say hello and I'm sure it's because of my size...but you know what? Their loss. You can lose out on knowing an incredibly awesome person just because you judge their weight or color of their skin.

amymeenieminymo

What do they consider fat? What is the criteria? Are they going to get people to step on the scale at the door? Or are they going to just look at you at the door and say 'too fat'....?

This is just one example of the reasons why a lot of women have body issues...

Each of us has a different idea of what is considered overweight or too fat. But when it is pointed out people feel humiliated and disrespected.

They should just let anyone at the event decide who or what they are attracted to...it is a personal choice.

Really? So if you were 20 years old and looking to meet someone also in their early 20s, you wouldn't mind going to an event where they let people of ALL ages in. Once there you discovered you are wasting your time and money because 90% of the people are in their late 40s. Wouldn't you prefer to go to an event where the majority of the people there are going to be in the same age range in which you feel comfortable dating?

That's not saying people in their 40s or older are bad people, they're just not the people you think you would have anything in common with. Restricting ONE (yes one, this article isn't saying ALL dating events all over the world are excluding fat people) dating event to slimmer people just makes it easier for people who want to date a slimmer person to find someone.

secretlobster

So you think someone basing their entire dating life off what someone weighs isn't stupid?? Yea... Thin =/= healthy.

I'm not the one making sweeping statements here. You are.
"Stupid" or "Smart" has nothing to do with what people find attractive. If someone is more attracted to a thin or athletic body than someone who is carrying extra pounds, that's their business and no one else's. I'm not about to call someone "stupid" for excluding body types they don't find attractive from their personal dating pool. Would I personally go to a skinny-only dating event? Hell no. But I'm not going to judge other people by what they find attractive. You are throwing around the words "stupid" and "idiot" but instead of making a reasonable argument, you're just showing off how angry and defensive you are.

melbaby925

Especially since Jessica Ennis is apparently fat.

I wanna be this fat!

Bahet

Someone's been drinking the haterade.

Just because people are attracted to certain types doesn't make them "stupid people who have some warped superiority complex."

:laugh: Not even a little bit honey. See, the difference is that while I may or may not think someone is physically attractive immediately upon seeing them, I never shunned someone just because they were a little bit heavy or a bit shorter than I prefer or didn't make enough money or any other superficial thing. If you are so superficial that you won't even consider having a 2 minute conversation with someone who weighs 20 lbs more than your "ideal" then yes, you are a stupid person with a warped superiority complex.

So what type of man(physically) is your husband? What are you attracted to? Why do you think it is fair to call someone a superficial @sshole because they are not attracted to a certain body size? Surely your husband does not look like every single man on earth....so surely there must be physical attributes that you DON'T find attractive....body hair, facial hair, blonde guys, tall guys etc? Why does having a personal preference make someone an @sshole?

Physically my husband is quite a bit different at almost 49 than he was at 25 when we met. When we met I was 19. I didn't find 48 yo men attractive. I didn't find men with grey hair attractive. I didn't find overweight men attractive. I didn't like hairy chests. I didn't like the idea of dating someone considerably taller than me. I wanted someone with a good career and a college education. I met my DH at a party in college. He was 6'4 (I'm 5'6"), was going to school very part time while working a blue collar job, was a bit larger than I was usually attracted to, and had a hairy chest. But I didn't try to get him banished from the party. I didn't refuse to talk to him. Obviously. We chatted and I discovered he was very intelligent. He had a laugh that was infectious. He had the most beautiful smile that just lit up his entire face. It didn't take much time at all before I realized I actually like his hairy chest, like a big tall guy, and preferred a bit of meat on his bones to being able to see his ribs sticking out. Because I wasn't superficial I was not only able to see past his "flaws" but those flaws actually became preferences.

I'm not saying someone is a superficial @sshole if they have a body size preference. I never said that. I'm saying if that person automatically dismisses anyone who doesn't fit into their ideal then yes, they are superficial. If they go on to just assume that no one could possible be attracted to someone who isn't within that ideal then, yes, they are a superficial @sshole.

That speed dating company was doing "label checks" on the women. No size 10 or higher was allowed in. Size 10. Seriously. That means not a single one of these women would have been allowed in, most aren't even close to being a size 10. I triple dog dare anyone to tell Chyna that she is fat and unhealthy. http://www.bbsize.com/50-plus-size-celebrities/

Natx83

Really? So if you were 20 years old and looking to meet someone also in their early 20s, you wouldn't mind going to an event where they let people of ALL ages in. Once there you discovered you are wasting your time and money because 90% of the people are in their late 40s. Wouldn't you prefer to go to an event where the majority of the people there are going to be in the same age range in which you feel comfortable dating?

This.

Makes sense to me. Very rational answer.

People need to think rationally more often than emotionally. It's not offensive, I'm sure there are dating sites and groups for people who are large/fat. You could get that there isn't an bunch of anorexic peeps banging on the window about discrimination toward their group or body type either.

Bahet

Especially since Jessica Ennis is apparently fat.

I wanna be this fat!

Yup, they would have turned her away at the door of that event too. Can't you see how fat and unhealthy she looks? Yea, me neither.

EmCarroll1990

Someone's been drinking the haterade.

Just because people are attracted to certain types doesn't make them "stupid people who have some warped superiority complex."

Not even a little bit honey. See, the difference is that while I may or may not think someone is physically attractive immediately upon seeing them, I never shunned someone just because they were a little bit heavy or a bit shorter than I prefer or didn't make enough money or any other superficial thing. If you are so superficial that you won't even consider having a 2 minute conversation with someone who weighs 20 lbs more than your "ideal" then yes, you are a stupid person with a warped superiority complex.

It's not about "shunning" someone. Let's say, for argument's sake, you're attracted to big muscular, body-builder types. Are you going to go up to someone that is overweight? No, you're not. It's not about being superficial. Looks, as much as people deny it, are very important - at least with first impressions. Had I not been attracted to my fiancé, I would never have spoken to him. It's simple as that.

secretlobster

Especially since Jessica Ennis is apparently fat.



Read more: http://www.theweek.co.uk/olympics/london-2012/47108/athletics-chief-thinks-jessica-ennis-fat-claims-coach#ixzz1vtL5LyBV

Okay, but this is just Silly Internet Gossip based on what someone allegedly heard from people he won't even name. I'm not sure why anyone would take it seriously.

spade117

So you automatically look at people and BOOM..."you're fat/you smoke/etc etc so I have no respect for you and I won't even give you the time of day"...without even talking to them first?

Not in those exact words, but yes, I think that way about different characteristics.

Looks, as much as people deny it, are very important - at least with first impressions.

QFT

ZombieDiva76

I don't think it's offensive.

Being overweight is a choice.

I don't respect people aren't taking care of their bodies, this includes by doing drugs or staying overweight or anything that is destructive, and I certainly wouldn't want to date someone who is.

Being overweight is a choice? Give me a break. There are those that have medical reasons as to why they are overweight.

Can you tell me of a medical condition that would make anyone 100+ lbs. overweight even on a calorie deficit & exercising? Those medical conditions can only make a person burn fewer calories than those who don't have it BUT c'mon that alone won't make somebody suddenly 100+ lbs. overweight. Having those medical conditions isn't an excuse as to why you're overweight, it only means that the one who has it needs to exert a little more effort to burn off similar amount of calories & to create a similar deficit as to those who have normal conditions. Yes it may take a bit longer than usual to lose weight but it CAN still be done.

I was diagnosed with PCOS last 2009 & in fact it took me three long years just to lose those 50 lbs. If we do the typical 3,500 calories/week = 1 pound lost, that is supposed to take only one year given that we have 52 weeks in a year. Now given that condition, I would have just dreamed of being slim but NO, I still did all my best to get here where I am now.

I have PCOS, IR and Hypothyroidism topped off my a metabolic disorder - I was on a 1500 calorie diet, I exercised, drank tons of water, etc and I gaind 45lbs in one year. This was on top of the 30lbs that I had gained while just watching portion sizes and exercising a little bit. Was I on the wrong diet? Yes, absolutely. Did I do everything within my means to try to lose the weight? I thought I did. I am losing weight NOW on a different diet but I certainly didnt choose to gain that weight. I was careful about EVERYTHING that I ate and yet, every week, the scale went up.
Do some people "choose" to be overweight? Sure, of course they do but to say that all people are fat because they choose to be fat is ridiculous and stereotypical. Surely you cant speak for every fat person in the world with a medical condition.

I agree with the above.

I don't think I take near as much offense to the origional question as I do to the assumption that there is NO medical conditions that make it extremely difficult and almost impossible for certain people to loose weight. My eight year old daughter was diagnosed with an extremely severe case of Guttate psoriasis that, while we were waiting on a treatment, quickly morphed into erythrodermic psoriasis...which can become life threatening. She was put on strong medications usually given to prevent transplant rejection and hospitalized. As a side issue along with her psoriasis, she developed psoriatic arthritis that make the simplest of movement painful. She began to gain weight as a side effect of her medication, which also effected her metabolism. Believe me this child was not eating junk, as we were trying to keep her healthy. She was eventually placed on a permanent medication that also makes it difficult for her to loose weight, much of which is water retension. To the judgemental outside world, she appears overweight. But in reality...she is a red belt in taekwondo (she attends four days a week), plays all sports available to her, and now that her PA is controlled could most likely run circles around most kids I know. Doesn't stop people from judging her or us as her parents that she appears to carry extra weight. Please do not make assumptions about people who are overweight and assume all of them have a choice. I can assure you there are exceptions to every assumption.

zaithyr

I don't think it's offensive.

Being overweight is a choice.

I don't respect people aren't taking care of their bodies, this includes by doing drugs or staying overweight or anything that is destructive, and I certainly wouldn't want to date someone who is.

Being overweight is a choice? Give me a break. There are those that have medical reasons as to why they are overweight.

Can you tell me of a medical condition that would make anyone 100+ lbs. overweight even on a calorie deficit & exercising? Those medical conditions can only make a person burn fewer calories than those who don't have it BUT c'mon that alone won't make somebody suddenly 100+ lbs. overweight. Having those medical conditions isn't an excuse as to why you're overweight, it only means that the one who has it needs to exert a little more effort to burn off similar amount of calories & to create a similar deficit as to those who have normal conditions. Yes it may take a bit longer than usual to lose weight but it CAN still be done.

I was diagnosed with PCOS last 2009 & in fact it took me three long years just to lose those 50 lbs. If we do the typical 3,500 calories/week = 1 pound lost, that is supposed to take only one year given that we have 52 weeks in a year. Now given that condition, I would have just dreamed of being slim but NO, I still did all my best to get here where I am now.

I have PCOS, IR and Hypothyroidism topped off my a metabolic disorder - I was on a 1500 calorie diet, I exercised, drank tons of water, etc and I gaind 45lbs in one year. This was on top of the 30lbs that I had gained while just watching portion sizes and exercising a little bit. Was I on the wrong diet? Yes, absolutely. Did I do everything within my means to try to lose the weight? I thought I did. I am losing weight NOW on a different diet but I certainly didnt choose to gain that weight. I was careful about EVERYTHING that I ate and yet, every week, the scale went up.
Do some people "choose" to be overweight? Sure, of course they do but to say that all people are fat because they choose to be fat is ridiculous and stereotypical. Surely you cant speak for every fat person in the world with a medical condition.

I agree with this too. My mom was on a 1300 calorie diet and exercising regularly and was still almost 100 lbs overweight. Turns out she had a lot of issues that are described above that were undiagnosed. I can't stand it when people stereotype overweight people. And some people do have eating disorders that cause them to be overweight. You wouldn't bash an anorexic person for their eating disorder and say "Well I have no respect for them because they just don't eat and don't do enough to gain weight!" when it's clearly something much deeper than that. That's why you shouldn't judge people by their appearance and make the decision whether or not they are worthy of respect just by looking at them. You don't know their story or what they are battling.

homeport51

I guess my main question would be.... where is the cut off line? Who determines who is too fat and who is an acceptable weight? Do they weigh you at the door and compare you to a chart or something? The concept is too general. One person's fat could be 10 lbs. over ideal weight... so who is to say who is too fat to attend?
Additionally... it is discriminatory in every sense of the word. I don't see how you can hold a public event and exclude certain people by virtue of weight, religion, ethnicity or gender. Just isn't done anymore. People may decide not to attend your event, because they have nothing in common with the intended target guests, but they should always have the option.

REET420

It's very offensive, how could it not be? It's rude and tacky.

When I used to use okcupid.com, I could set my options so that it wouldn't even show those outside of my personalized specifications. To me, this is kind of like that, just in "real life".

People who don't like it don't have to go.

..That's a way of looking at it suppose....

The question is, is this offensive? and the only answer is yes, absolutely it's offensive. I am not even a "fat" person and I'm offended at how ignorant people in this world can be.

It is rude. What if they said no black people or Asian people or gay people? Every one would be up in arms but it's ok to discriminate fat people or underweight people. Overweight people have enough of a hard time accepting their bodies and finding dates.


I understand we don't have to use something we don't like but what if everyone running a date website does the same thing and now your only allowed on them if you have D cups and an hourglass figure.

homeport51

What do they consider fat? What is the criteria? Are they going to get people to step on the scale at the door? Or are they going to just look at you at the door and say 'too fat'....?

This is just one example of the reasons why a lot of women have body issues...

Each of us has a different idea of what is considered overweight or too fat. But when it is pointed out people feel humiliated and disrespected.

They should just let anyone at the event decide who or what they are attracted to...it is a personal choice.

Really? So if you were 20 years old and looking to meet someone also in their early 20s, you wouldn't mind going to an event where they let people of ALL ages in. Once there you discovered you are wasting your time and money because 90% of the people are in their late 40s. Wouldn't you prefer to go to an event where the majority of the people there are going to be in the same age range in which you feel comfortable dating?

That's not saying people in their 40s or older are bad people, they're just not the people you think you would have anything in common with. Restricting ONE (yes one, this article isn't saying ALL dating events all over the world are excluding fat people) dating event to slimmer people just makes it easier for people who want to date a slimmer person to find someone.

Age restrictions are different and quantifiable. Either you are in your 20's or you are not. Size is subjective. Size 12 is considered fat by some and a goal by others. How would you determine who was too fat?

spade117

I don't see how you can hold a public event and exclude certain people by virtue of weight, religion, ethnicity or gender. Just isn't done anymore.

It happens all the time with gender.