Can I have a male friend even if I have a boyfriend?

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  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
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    Honestly, the guy probably wants to date you.

    This may be true, but I'm pretty sure she won't be dated against her will.
  • nightsrainfall
    nightsrainfall Posts: 244 Member
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    Most of my friends are guys, I just seem to get along better with them. I wouldn't let my boyfriend tell me who I can be friends with, but at the same time he really doesn't mind. That being said, you have to be wary with guy friends as some guys will be your "friend" but secretly be hoping for more. You need to be clear about boundaries.

    Well said! While I get along with most people equally, I currently have more guy friends than girl friends (kinda came with the job, lol). Sometimes I am that "girl friend" the guys hang out with and then go tell their wives or girlfriends. I have been told from time to time by my guy friends that sometimes they are jealous but usually that goes away once they meet me and see how we all interact. A friend is a friend and know the boundaries set - especially when you are taken or they are. Everyone has different relationships, some guys I can hang out with them one on one and their girlfriends don't care, others I wouldn't because I know it will strain their relationship and plus (thus) we don't have that type of friendship.

    (For the record, I always try to befriend both people in a relationship, and if dating someone and just met a new guy friend I generally will get them out together too. Actually some of my exes even became great friends with my guy friends - still are today... And I have met some girl friends through my guy friends' SOs too!)
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 181
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    My vocalist is a broad.

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".
    yeah I like to be called a dame, chick, gal, lass, actually I don't care what slang term you use for females...

    Just don'tcall me Ma'am or I might hurt you.
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
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    My vocalist is a broad.

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".
    yeah I like to be called a dame, chick, gal, lass, actually I don't care what slang term you use for females...

    Just don'tcall me Ma'am or I might hurt you.

    Yes, Ma'am, I'll keep that in mind.]
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Pretty sure that any guy chatting up a gal he just met is not thinking "gee, she's so funny, I hope she'll be my friend."

    Stereotyping's fun!
    :flowerforyou:

    nope, hurt my feelings. meanie pants.

    Girls in pigtails are never meanie pants.
    P.S. your tie's crooked. :tongue:
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.

    those times are gone and I don't see them returning in the near future....society has changed too much to go back....and in some ways that's a good thing and in some ways not.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.

    Werd.

    If you can't be honest about your needs with your partner, that relationship is doomed.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    go for it. its hard to make good friends and if this guy turns out to be one that would be great. however you should know there is a very good chance this new friend is looking for something more no matter what he tells you.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
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    So today I met a really cool and funny guy on the bus who I would love to be friends with, the problem is I think my boyfriend would go crazy if I asked him about it.
    I'm recently new to this city and I don't know anyone besides me boyfriend, it can get quite lonely sometimes. I don't want to cause arguments in our relationship so would it be best for me to ignore the funny cool guy on the bus and not respond to his email to hang out?



    It all depends on if you are attracted to him. Thats what it really boils down to.

    ^^True story.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.

    those times are gone and I don't see them returning in the near future....society has changed too much to go back....and in some ways that's a good thing and in some ways not.

    I don't necessarily disagree...and its sad. But...with the divorce rate what it is today...I wonder which mentality is truly the dysfunctional one.

    And don't misunderstand. I don't condone controlling your partner in any way. I promote both partners being receptive, and willing to meet each others physical and emotional needs. Big difference...yet so many 'progressive' people say its the same...and immediately label the man (almost always) controlling...the woman codependant...and the relationship dysfunctional.

    Sad doesn't even cover it.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.


    Thank god those days are gone. No seriously. Nostalgic feelings aside, how many dysfunctional relationships went on for decades because a obtaining a divorce was a huge social taboo?
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    The fact that YOU want a friendship, doesn't mean the other guy is only wanting a friendship...and believe me, the slightest wedge they can work, they will.


    This is pretty much it right here.

    I personally do not want my wife hanging out with just another straight guy. If she was hanging out with a guy and a girl that is fine but solo with one other guy (straight) . I don't think it is a control thing whatsoever I think it is a respect for your relationship. But it is a mutual thing with my wife and I. She wouldnt appreciate me hanging out solo with a friend that is a girl and vice versa.

    As to the other posters, the fact that you asked the internet shows a general lack of maturity and you may want to look at that and just speak directly to your boyfriend. I understand it sucks being a new place knowing no one but most guys wanting to "hang out" right away with a girl new to the area is looking for hanky panky. I can guarantee you if you hung out with him and your boyfriend he would find a way to get right out of there. If he didn't it would most likely become an eventual thing. but who knows its you not us.
  • placeboaddiction
    placeboaddiction Posts: 451 Member
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    "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
    By any other name would smell as sweet."


    Back to the point of this thread I suppose.
    I can't believe there are so many insecure with relationships. The whole concept of judging for gender is as bad as judging for race, religion, and whatever else that makes us all so different. "People are people so why should it be, that you and I get along so awfully".
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.


    Thank god those days are gone. No seriously. Nostalgic feelings aside, how many dysfunctional relationships went on for decades because a obtaining a divorce was a huge social taboo?

    At least this time you posted in intelligible English.

    I don't know how many. But I do know that in my experiences with my extended family...aunts, uncles...I've a HUGE family on both sides...the answer is not many.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
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    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.


    Thank god those days are gone. No seriously. Nostalgic feelings aside, how many dysfunctional relationships went on for decades because a obtaining a divorce was a huge social taboo?

    At least this time you posted in intelligible English.

    I don't know how many. But I do know that in my experiences with my extended family...aunts, uncles...I've a HUGE family on both sides...the answer is not many.

    "Intelligible English," oh aren't you the cutest!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
    By any other name would smell as sweet."


    Back to the point of this thread I suppose.
    I can't believe there are so many insecure with relationships. The whole concept of judging for gender is as bad as judging for race, religion, and whatever else that makes us all so different. "People are people so why should it be, that you and I get along so awfully".

    Precisely because people aren't people...men are men...women are women. We're DIFFERENT. We have different outlooks...different prerogatives...different needs. To lump us all together and call us the same is childish at best...and honestly...harmful to natural emotional development.

    Pretty simple.
  • coolbluecris
    coolbluecris Posts: 228 Member
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    Hanging out with a guy . . .

    leads to discussions about life

    leads to sharing fun experiences and places

    leads to discussions about personal interests

    leads to discussions about intimate thoughts and feelings

    which eventually leads to being comfortable around their physical person

    and they are comfortable around your physical person

    and the sharing of conversation and private thoughts can lead to emotional attachment

    and being comfortable physically as well . . . .

    You can see where this is going. If you are hanging around with the new guy, you are actually really dating. If your boyfriend is the guy of your dreams, that you can see yourself building a life with, you just wouldn't hang out with another guy. Its not about whether your boyfriend "lets" you or not, the question is, Why do you want to?
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    It sounds like a move to me, unless he's asking you to hang out in a group setting. If I met a guy somewhere and wanted to get to know him as a friend, I would never invite him to hang out one on one right away. Not because I would be tempted to cheat but just to make sure he wasn't getting the wrong message.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    Hanging out with a guy . . .

    leads to discussions about life

    leads to sharing fun experiences and places

    leads to discussions about personal interests

    leads to discussions about intimate thoughts and feelings

    which eventually leads to being comfortable around their physical person

    and they are comfortable around your physical person

    and the sharing of conversation and private thoughts can lead to emotional attachment

    and being comfortable physically as well . . . .

    You can see where this is going. If you are hanging around with the new guy, you are actually really dating. If your boyfriend is the guy of your dreams, that you can see yourself building a life with, you just wouldn't hang out with another guy. Its not about whether your boyfriend "lets" you or not, the question is, Why do you want to?



    hahahahha....SERIOUSLY?! That's your causal chain?! As if EVERY co-ed conversation and friendship means you are dating...hahah oh man... this is rich...

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