Can I have a male friend even if I have a boyfriend?

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Replies

  • future_runner
    future_runner Posts: 136 Member
    If you want to do something, your boyfriend should support you at it. He should feel totally free to express his opinion about things, but I wouldn't let him tell you who you can & can't spend time with.

    So what if it were your boyfriends feelings that he didn't want you to hang out with this or that guy friend...would you respect that or no? He didn't say you couldn't...just told you how he felt.

    It would depend on why he felt that way. I dated a guy that didn't like me to have my guy friends, or even go out with my girl friends if we might talk to guys, and sometimes got jealous when I hung out with his roommates because "he just didn't like it" I'd never given him a reason not to trust me so I kept being the same person I'd always been despite his irrational feelings. If his feelings had a basis, well this would be a completely different story.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    If you want to do something, your boyfriend should support you at it. He should feel totally free to express his opinion about things, but I wouldn't let him tell you who you can & can't spend time with.

    So what if it were your boyfriends feelings that he didn't want you to hang out with this or that guy friend...would you respect that or no? He didn't say you couldn't...just told you how he felt.

    It would depend on why he felt that way. I dated a guy that didn't like me to have my guy friends, or even go out with my girl friends if we might talk to guys, and sometimes got jealous when I hung out with his roommates because "he just didn't like it" I'd never given him a reason not to trust me so I kept being the same person I'd always been despite his irrational feelings. If his feelings had a basis, well this would be a completely different story.

    So it just making him uncomfortable, wouldn't be enough? And I didn't say any of those other things...so it's not really comparable if you know what I mean. If he said to you that it bugged him, you asked why...and he just said 'I'm not sure...it just does'...what would your response be?
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    So today I met a really cool and funny guy on the bus who I would love to be friends with, the problem is I think my boyfriend would go crazy if I asked him about it.

    Wait... you have to ask your bf whether you can have a male friend?
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    So today I met a really cool and funny guy on the bus who I would love to be friends with, the problem is I think my boyfriend would go crazy if I asked him about it.

    Wait... you have to ask your bf whether you can have a male friend?

    Lol.
  • danielleharvey2009
    danielleharvey2009 Posts: 25 Member
    I'm not entirely sure why people assume men can't keep it in their pants? :S Just saw the comment a few times.
    I just want to make a point that while there are men out there that are "womanizers", there are some that aren't. And that goes for the flip side. I know alot of girls that are "hoes" (excuse the terms I don't want to make it sound vulgar and have super haters hate on me), and alot that aren't.
    For example, I have a girl who can't even count how many guys she's been with while my roomate (girl) waited till her 20s to be with a guy (and they were engaged). I also know a guy that would send vulgar pictures to myself and friends during high school, while my best friend is still a virgin (because he refused nearly every girl as he's waiting for 'the one').
    Point being, when you assume something about the opposite gender you 'make an *kitten* out of you and me' (saying here in Canada, I don't know about anywhere else that poeple are from)
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    This thread is back??

    /facepalm
  • DayumStraightIAmEllie
    DayumStraightIAmEllie Posts: 160 Member
    Lol i'd love an answer to this....my boyfriend goes crazy any time i mention a guys name!
  • future_runner
    future_runner Posts: 136 Member
    If you want to do something, your boyfriend should support you at it. He should feel totally free to express his opinion about things, but I wouldn't let him tell you who you can & can't spend time with.

    So what if it were your boyfriends feelings that he didn't want you to hang out with this or that guy friend...would you respect that or no? He didn't say you couldn't...just told you how he felt.

    It would depend on why he felt that way. I dated a guy that didn't like me to have my guy friends, or even go out with my girl friends if we might talk to guys, and sometimes got jealous when I hung out with his roommates because "he just didn't like it" I'd never given him a reason not to trust me so I kept being the same person I'd always been despite his irrational feelings. If his feelings had a basis, well this would be a completely different story.

    So it just making him uncomfortable, wouldn't be enough? And I didn't say any of those other things...so it's not really comparable if you know what I mean. If he said to you that it bugged him, you asked why...and he just said 'I'm not sure...it just does'...what would your response be?

    Just looked back and saw this. I'm not sure what "other things" you mean. "It just does [bother me]" and "I just dont like it" mean the same thing. My response was to continue being the same person I was before I came his girlfriend, a girl that has male friends. He was always invited and we talked several times about how I could make him more comfortable but he didn't a reason for why it made him uncomfortable. It just did.
  • JenS0301
    JenS0301 Posts: 37 Member
    Up to you, it is YOUR life. What is the problem with having a friend? Your bf should be cool with it. Shouldnt have to "ask" either.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I'm not entirely sure why people assume men can't keep it in their pants? :S Just saw the comment a few times.
    I just want to make a point that while there are men out there that are "womanizers", there are some that aren't. And that goes for the flip side. I know alot of girls that are "hoes" (excuse the terms I don't want to make it sound vulgar and have super haters hate on me), and alot that aren't.
    For example, I have a girl who can't even count how many guys she's been with while my roomate (girl) waited till her 20s to be with a guy (and they were engaged). I also know a guy that would send vulgar pictures to myself and friends during high school, while my best friend is still a virgin (because he refused nearly every girl as he's waiting for 'the one').
    Point being, when you assume something about the opposite gender you 'make an *kitten* out of you and me' (saying here in Canada, I don't know about anywhere else that poeple are from)

    It's because men really can't keep it in their pants unless they're not attracted to the woman.

    And so what if she can't count how many she's been with? Maybe she loves to have sex. Just cause she isn't in a long term relationship doesn't mean she needs a lock and key on her vagina.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member

    It's because men really can't keep it in their pants unless they're not attracted to the woman.

    So tell me, how long have you had your degree in stereotyping?
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member

    It's because men really can't keep it in their pants unless they're not attracted to the woman.

    So tell me, how long have you had your degree in stereotyping?

    About 6 years now, almost 7.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member

    It's because men really can't keep it in their pants unless they're not attracted to the woman.

    So tell me, how long have you had your degree in stereotyping?

    Probably as long as I have...because I agree with her. But...you need to understand it's not a literal comment. It's a sarcastic phrase used to describe a behavior. That behavior being that if a guy chats up a pretty girl on a freakin bus...he's probably interested...assuming he's single. The 'sex' part of it (can't keep it in his pants) is being thrown out of context here...it's about being 'into' a girl, not just wanting to bang her.

    This doesn't just apply to men really...I mean think about it, unless a woman is determined to be single...if she ends up talking with a cute guy on a bus who is very sweet to her...she will likely be interested. The difference being, if that guy says he has a girlfriend...the woman is FAR more likely to back off (again...in general). I think the amount of women who would back off...FAR dwarfs the number of men who would do the same.

    Thus the stereotype...it's not rocket science people. There's a reason so many women 'hate' men...while the reverse is far from true.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member

    It's because men really can't keep it in their pants unless they're not attracted to the woman.

    So tell me, how long have you had your degree in stereotyping?

    Probably as long as I have...because I agree with her. But...you need to understand it's not a literal comment. It's a sarcastic phrase used to describe a behavior. That behavior being that if a guy chats up a pretty girl on a freakin bus...he's probably interested...assuming he's single. The 'sex' part of it (can't keep it in his pants) is being thrown out of context here...it's about being 'into' a girl, not just wanting to bang her.

    This doesn't just apply to men really...I mean think about it, unless a woman is determined to be single...if she ends up talking with a cute guy on a bus who is very sweet to her...she will likely be interested. The difference being, if that guy says he has a girlfriend...the woman is FAR more likely to back off (again...in general). I think the amount of women who would back off...FAR dwarfs the number of men who would do the same.

    Thus the stereotype...it's not rocket science people. There's a reason so many women 'hate' men...while the reverse is far from true.

    Thanks :)

    Sometimes I can't keep it in my pants either. It's okay, its human nature lol

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