Highest weight how you felt

ThaRealNicki

My highest was 304 recorded but I quit weighing myself for and gained a tiny bit more, I only stayed that heavy for about 2 months then something clicked I guess and I started losing weight without trying. My next highest weight was 291....

All my life I have flucuated between 200 and 240 but averaging out usually at 220. Even at these weights I felt the same as I do now and at 291. Im so insecure that cant have relationships with people and my fiance' suffers because Im so insecure. I scared to go to the doctors because of what they'll tell me. I feel disgusting!!! Theres so many negative feelings I associated with myself, even now at 266lbs. Why does helove me and not opt for a girl who is able to go try things with him instead of video taping him?! Someone who is easier on the eyes when trying to seduce him....I just dont get it.

I cant lie and say I wasnt comfortable eating and not moving all day everyday. I was very comfortable but I was miserable when I tried to hit my problems head on.

The difference when I realized I was over 300lbs I became incredibly depressed for those next 2 months and I felt more out of control than ever. I didnt know I could hate myself more than I already did and in that moment I realized it was very possible. No more hating myself though!! After 2 months was up and that something clicked in my head I started gain confidence! This is who I am! I embraced myself, I started to dress nicer and do my makeup! I even became a professional MUA. I was the big boss chick lol then I slowly became ready and braced myself to lose weight. No matter how I masked my true emotions or what true self esteem I gained I was still horribly unhappy with my health and appearnce and not being able to experience things with my man. Im sick of video taping him having fun lol I wanna have fun with him! Im still getting a grip on this but my health is much better than it was Im sure. Im still afraid to go to a doctor, But one true feeling is that I am less insecure (not by much lol but at least its something) And Im becoming happier and happier with who I am and soul searching is becoming a lot easier.

I know I just gave you this long long story but Here is how it was for me and is for me

Thena81

at 178 i felt sweaty and icky lol
currently at 145 i feel eh
ugw ill be happy

stephalvarez5

my highest weight was 140, i'm 5'3" medium frame. i know this may not seem like an insane amount but i really felt like crap. depressed every time my waist line would be all marked up from the tight fit, my energy level was distracting, it was really hard for me to get out of bed and do anything. i slept a lot mostly because i was depressed about the way i was treating myself. when i saw the cold hard truth on the scale i thought, "oh god, no way! i cannot believe i let it go this far! why didn't anyone tell me?!" and that's when i decided to start up running and doing the food diary to keep track of everything i ate so that there would be no "surprises" it's about a month now and i've lost 11 lbs and 9 inches and i'm running 5k in 30 mins without having to stop at all. i'm so proud of where i am but i never forget how i felt when i was out of shape and lazy and fat and lardy with dimples. disgusted, weak, depressed and ugly. i owe a lot to myfitnesspal. i don't have a lot of friends on here but reading, seeing everyones results is such a great inspiration.

-stephanie-

Amy911Gray

This pretty much sums it up...a co-worker (I have a new job than the old me) thought the picture HAD to be photo-shopped.

How did I feel--depressed, sick physically and mentally, embarrassed because I couldn't fit into computer chairs with arms, theater seats were too small. It was terrible. And when I wasn't working, I was sleeping. And when I was working, I wanted to hide.

I'm much better now, but I still feel like the fat girl from hell most days. At least the clothes fit really nicely now! I've talked with people that have lost weight like this and they all say the same thing...as it takes time to lose it, it also takes time to get used to it mentally and this is much much slower.

babybluefire

My highest was 200 while 10 months pregnant, retaining water like hell and in the dead of summer. I felt like I was going to die. And yes I said 10 months, my daughter was several weeks late.

karylee44

sort of depends when you asked me.. my highest was 190 (not counting being pg.. where i went WAY over 200.. twins.. need i say more!).. i felt horrible about myself.. uncomfortable in my clothing.

when i was younger.. i would have told you the same thing when i hit 130.. i thought i was the fattest thing on the planet.. always covered my body...

now.. at 150.. im still uncomfortable.. i have days i feel ok with it.. but mostly i just want to lose more and am still unhappy with the snail pace of my weight loss..

mmarcy7

I felt like I was trapped in another body. You look down and feel like, how is this my body, how did it get like this. I saw pictures other people took and was shocked by how I looked. I was just in denial I had let myself go that much.

sugarwcoffee

180. Pdetite, tho so felt like a slug lost for awhile down to 165. Feltbetter. Back up to 177. Yikes. Don' t feel attractive. Makesfeeling sexy impossible. Excuse?dunno. Working on it. This site makes you think about the crap you put in your body. Reward? That cute little nightie like ones i used to wear in my 20s. Look out 150!

sugarwcoffee

Exactly the same for me. Hate pictures

fragilegift

I want to dress in clothes I actually love not just the ones that fit for my size thats my goal next!

this!

I'm tired of having to choose functionality over 'pretty' things.

sugarwcoffee

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Can I just say to the OP, I love how you started this post and now you are responding to everyone, you are a doll!!

Iwas thinking the same thing! This was my first time responding to a post. I think her responses are so positive

Shrinkingmam0429

258, Which is just disgusting for me because i'm barely 5foot tall. I felt insecure, unhappy, depressed, and it truly physically hurt me to look in the mirror

cdc33

Not including being pregnant, I was at about 283lbs. I was a hot, sweaty and uncomfortable mess. I was only at that weight once and briefly and I will never go there again. I feel okay now, but really can't wait until I reach my goal and can feel comfortable in my own skin.

Great job on the weight loss!!! I know what you mean about feeling comfortable in your own skin, cant wait till my outside matches the inside cheers!!!!:flowerforyou:

cdc33

Just wanted to add this, as my reply was quite short.

As aforementioned, my highest weight was 196lbs, in March.

It's hard to fit all of the emotions and sensations I experienced then into a condensed paragraph or sentence, but I'll try.

I felt so ashamed. I felt like hiding. I felt like a beast. Unfeminine. Disgusting. Sickening. I felt inadequate compared to other females. I felt like men were turned off by me. I stopped dressing nicely. I didn't look after my hair. I hated looking in the mirror. I stopped taking photos of myself. My bones ached. My back ached. My stomach was constantly bloated and large. I felt uncomfortable, and when I sat down, my fat belly was in the way, making me feel like I had a pillow on my lap. I felt like people were staring at me every time I ate. I binged and hid the evidence. I felt out of control and powerless. I think that was the biggest thing - the feeling of being powerless to change.


Soooo been there and I still am there sometimes but I know everyday I will feel better and better just like you have. Congrats to you on your weight loss and for putting you first, Cheers:drinker:

Now? 19.5lbs less - I feel amazing. I feel attractive. I'm looking after myself again. I dress up every day. I get my eyebrows done. I take pictures ALL the time. I love the mirror now. I got my tattoo on my back. My body doesn't ache so much, and my stomach is WAY smaller.

cdc33

My highest was 304 recorded but I quit weighing myself for and gained a tiny bit more, I only stayed that heavy for about 2 months then something clicked I guess and I started losing weight without trying. My next highest weight was 291....

All my life I have flucuated between 200 and 240 but averaging out usually at 220. Even at these weights I felt the same as I do now and at 291. Im so insecure that cant have relationships with people and my fiance' suffers because Im so insecure. I scared to go to the doctors because of what they'll tell me. I feel disgusting!!! Theres so many negative feelings I associated with myself, even now at 266lbs. Why does helove me and not opt for a girl who is able to go try things with him instead of video taping him?! Someone who is easier on the eyes when trying to seduce him....I just dont get it.

I cant lie and say I wasnt comfortable eating and not moving all day everyday. I was very comfortable but I was miserable when I tried to hit my problems head on.

The difference when I realized I was over 300lbs I became incredibly depressed for those next 2 months and I felt more out of control than ever. I didnt know I could hate myself more than I already did and in that moment I realized it was very possible. No more hating myself though!! After 2 months was up and that something clicked in my head I started gain confidence! This is who I am! I embraced myself, I started to dress nicer and do my makeup! I even became a professional MUA. I was the big boss chick lol then I slowly became ready and braced myself to lose weight. No matter how I masked my true emotions or what true self esteem I gained I was still horribly unhappy with my health and appearnce and not being able to experience things with my man. Im sick of video taping him having fun lol I wanna have fun with him! Im still getting a grip on this but my health is much better than it was Im sure. Im still afraid to go to a doctor, But one true feeling is that I am less insecure (not by much lol but at least its something) And Im becoming happier and happier with who I am and soul searching is becoming a lot easier.

I know I just gave you this long long story but Here is how it was for me and is for me

Thank you so much for sharing your story I have been where you have been and sometimes I go there but I do have to say that something just clicked and enough was enough. I have platued and I have to get it in gear again LOL You are doing fantastic keep up the great work!!

cdc33

at 178 i felt sweaty and icky lol
currently at 145 i feel eh
ugw ill be happy

very good job on the weight loss!!! we all have to feel comfortable in our own bodies and you ware doing great:happy:

cdc33

my highest weight was 140, i'm 5'3" medium frame. i know this may not seem like an insane amount but i really felt like crap. depressed every time my waist line would be all marked up from the tight fit, my energy level was distracting, it was really hard for me to get out of bed and do anything. i slept a lot mostly because i was depressed about the way i was treating myself. when i saw the cold hard truth on the scale i thought, "oh god, no way! i cannot believe i let it go this far! why didn't anyone tell me?!" and that's when i decided to start up running and doing the food diary to keep track of everything i ate so that there would be no "surprises" it's about a month now and i've lost 11 lbs and 9 inches and i'm running 5k in 30 mins without having to stop at all. i'm so proud of where i am but i never forget how i felt when i was out of shape and lazy and fat and lardy with dimples. disgusted, weak, depressed and ugly. i owe a lot to myfitnesspal. i don't have a lot of friends on here but reading, seeing everyones results is such a great inspiration.

-stephanie-

Im also very thankful to MFP you shouldnt have to pay to get support for weight loss. Great job on your weight loss and putting you first:happy:

cdc33

This pretty much sums it up...a co-worker (I have a new job than the old me) thought the picture HAD to be photo-shopped.

How did I feel--depressed, sick physically and mentally, embarrassed because I couldn't fit into computer chairs with arms, theater seats were too small. It was terrible. And when I wasn't working, I was sleeping. And when I was working, I wanted to hide.

I'm much better now, but I still feel like the fat girl from hell most days. At least the clothes fit really nicely now! I've talked with people that have lost weight like this and they all say the same thing...as it takes time to lose it, it also takes time to get used to it mentally and this is much much slower.

So ture you hit the nail on the head with the mind catching up with the body!!! I cant wait till people are like that was you???? congrats on the weight loss!!

cdc33

My highest was 200 while 10 months pregnant, retaining water like hell and in the dead of summer. I felt like I was going to die. And yes I said 10 months, my daughter was several weeks late.

I know what you mean my kids all hung around after there due dates as well LOL not so funny at the time! How do you feel now??

cdc33

sort of depends when you asked me.. my highest was 190 (not counting being pg.. where i went WAY over 200.. twins.. need i say more!).. i felt horrible about myself.. uncomfortable in my clothing.

when i was younger.. i would have told you the same thing when i hit 130.. i thought i was the fattest thing on the planet.. always covered my body...

now.. at 150.. im still uncomfortable.. i have days i feel ok with it.. but mostly i just want to lose more and am still unhappy with the snail pace of my weight loss..

Think of it this way your body is taking it time to remember each weight loss so that it will never go back! so although it is slow you will be less likely to gain it back, well thats what I think. congrats so far on your weight loss!!